Scribblings

Not in the job description

Heidi works for a rather large grocery food chain. I know there are unsanitary goings-on in any place that handles food but when you work right there (or are related to someone who is), sometimes the grossness can get to you. I haven't bought any fresh salad from this store after stories Heidi told me. Who wants salad when you know flies have been roaming around on it depositing whatever it is they leave whenever they land? UGH.

Lately, there's been an increasing mouse problem that has something to do with the way food is disposed. The cans the food should go into are maggoty and filthy and really need to be sanitized or just plain replaced. Management keeps sending the baggers--lowest of the low on the totem pole and mostly teenage kids--out to clean these things. Heidi tells me the baggers stand around talking until enough time has gone by that they could claim they did clean the containers and then they go back in. Who can blame them? What 16 year old wants to clean out a crusty maggoty garbage container?

Anyway, for whatever reason, mice have been coming into the store and the managers' solution has been to set traps.

Last night, Heidi found a baby mouse in one of the traps. She thought it was dead and was disposing it (and the other dead mice) when it moved and she realized it was barely alive. It would not be for long and so she killed it. When she came home, she broke down and wept long and hard. Even though she knew she was ending its suffering she was very upset about what she did.

Some might say, it was just a mouse, just a pesky nasty critter and of no significance. Still, when you love animals as Heidi does, it must have been a traumatic thing to do.

She wants to find another job. I don't blame her.

Happy Mother's Day, and Billy's Home!

QuickPost | System Overview | Movable Type Publishing Platform

What pretty flowers! I'm hoping that all mothers had as wonderful a day as I did. The best gift of all was having us together. TB, Kristin and I went up to NY to get Billy and bring him home for the summer. It's nice to have him back for a couple of months! To see the rest of the pictures I took today, just click on the pic!

Quick Update on Little T & Other Stuff

I just asked TB to turn off the comments for this blog. I'm sorry to have to do that but until I find a way to screen out the spammers without having to go through and delete all the junk, I just have to do it. I just deleted 275 junk comments and MT only allows me to go at a 20-at-a-time pace so you can imagine how time consuming that is! And I have to delete junk comments at least twice a day so that they don't build up!

I meant to update about our little Tomas. He is doing so much better! He willingly put on the nebulizing mask at the doctor's office when I last posted, thank goodness, and so he got a full treatment. Linda's been giving him his meds and he's been doing much better! He still hacks a little bit but the meds are really helping!

This picture was taken at the restaurant this morning.

Bandwidth Problems

Since March, we've had to pay over $100 in bandwidth charges! That totally blew our minds away. We didn't think we were getting that many hits but apparently we are! That's good news and bad news. The bad news, of course, is that we really can't afford to keep paying the overages. I decided to move some of my post categories to wordpress and my new blog address will be here. That's where I'll do my cat blogging, yak about books I've read and other silly stuff and this site will just cover news about us. So all my cool widgits and rings and stuff will move too. Oh well...so it goes!

Small Update

It's been another lovely weekend, even nicer than the last one because of the milder temperatures. TB and Kristin continued working on our garden. Check it out so far:

Linda worked on a project of her own...painting the bedroom she shares with Little T!

Kennan and T spent the weekend together and had a wonderful time. Tomas has begun to run and jump! He also can blow hard enough on his pinwheel to make it spin. He's really coming a long way since this time last year!

Still, there are ups and downs. It was pretty clear T did not want to come home after such a great weekend with his dad. It's hard enough on any kid who has to go back and forth between households but I guess it's even moreso for T because he can't tell us yet how he feels. With time and work, we are hoping and praying he'll have plenty of words to tell us.

Since When Can't You Just Pay Your Doctor?

Apparently if you are covered by some insurance company your doctor doesn't take...especially one associated with Medicaid!

Linda is really sick. Her insurance is from Medicaid now and the primary assigned to her no longer takes that insurance! Well, that figures--outdated information and misinformation is one of the many things wrong with any provider. There is no doctor locally who takes that insurance and when Linda called the provider, they told her to go to the emergency room! Yey, way to drive up everyone's medical expenses, thanks for nothing!

Linda called the doctor she'd been seeing for the last several years, explained what happened and offerd to pay cash for seeing the doctor. The person she talked to said okay and so she went all the way out there to see the doctor only to learn from the office manager that they weren't "legally allowed" to see Linda because of her insurance.

What! Since when has having any insurance at all made a difference if you could pay in cash? I swear, the whole health system is totally fercockt! So Linda is now at the emergency room.

I have a memory that goes back to January 1965. We'd just moved to Maryland from New York and my brother (he was 10 at the time) got really sick on the way to school one morning. As it turned out, his appendix ruptured and my parents took him to the nearest hospital. The admitting person asked my father about his health insurance and my dad lied and said we had it. In truth, it hadn't kicked in yet. My parents were afraid if they told the truth my brother would be turned away and sent to a hospital that treated the insured further away and in a bad part of the city. When the officials found out my father wasn't insured after all, they were totally furious but it was too late. By then my brother had had his surgery. My dad just shrugged and said sorry, I misunderstood the question, deaf and dumb, you know?

My how times change.

Rachel Carson: Why We Have Earth Day

Silent Spring was one of the most powerfully frightening books I've ever read--it's all true. Rachel Carson warned us about using pesticides and what it would do to our environment and although she was labelled a crackpot she was fortunate enough to have found a supporter in President John Kennedy. I remember reading that anyone born after 1954 will have DDT in their livers, that's how long the poison stays in the environment. I also remember she warned about mutations in species because of pollutions and that's why we have 2 headed fish and frogs. That's why we have no life in lakes and streams poisoned by acid rain. I'm sure this is why our weather is whacked out. It's not DDT now, no--except in poor countries around the world. Now what we have is "the solution to pollution is dilution." I think Rachel Carson's book is a classic--read it if you dare.

The Legacy Of "Silent Spring"

NEW YORK, April 22, 2007
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(CBS) In her groundbreaking book "Silent Spring," Rachel Carson jolted a prosperous post-war America — a country confident that science and technology were leading the way to a future in which disease and hunger could be overcome, in no small part thanks to a new generation of powerful pesticides.

But in "Silent Spring," Carson warned that progress had a price.

"These sprays, dusts and aerosols are now applied almost universally to farms, gardens, forests and homes — non-selective chemicals that have the power to kill every insect, the good and the bad, to still the song of birds and the leaping of fish in streams, to coat the leaves with a deadly film and to linger on in soil," she said in a 1962 documentary for CBS News. "All this, though the intended target may be only a few weeds or insects."

At the midpoint of the 20th century, spraying was a familiar sight to many young baby boomers including Robert Kennedy, son of the late New York senator, Robert Kennedy.

"We had sprayers coming — coming down our street, big fogging trucks, you know … to spray for DDT," he told CBS News correspondent Thalia Assuras. "And my brothers and I would go out and play combat in the fog, you know, running in and out of this fog, breathing this stuff."

Kennedy is now an environmental lawyer, and says Rachel Carson was a pioneer who inspired a generation of activists.

"She was the first one to quietly, you know, kind of nudge the American people and say, 'Well, wait a second. There's a cost here that you're not being told about,'" he said.

Carson, an unassuming scientist and writer, was an unlikely activist for sure, but the seeds were planted early in her childhood. She grew up in a modest house just outside of Pittsburgh.

"She enjoyed wandering around in the fields," said Patricia DeMarco, the executive director of the Rachel Carson Homestead. "It was her playground. She just was very fascinated with living things and growing things. From an early age she wanted to be a writer and her mother was teaching her at home a lot."

After earning a college science degree, Carson took a job at the Federal Bureau of Fisheries, which later became the Fish and Wildlife Service.

"While she was put out in the field as an aquatic biologist, soon she was editing other scientists' reports," said Linda Lear, author of a biography on Carson who also contributed to a new book of essays about her legacy.

In her free time, Carson wrote three increasingly successful books about the mysteries of the sea. The books sold so well that she turned to writing full-time. She hoped that her writing would help educate the public about the wonders of nature.

"Always to instill her science writing with an ethic, if you will, of how beautiful nature is," Lear said, "how intricate it is and how everything in nature is related to everything else.

So when Carson saw evidence that pesticides — DDT in particular — were killing birds and other wildlife, she decided that would be the subject of her next book.

It took her four years to write "Silent Spring," based on research from a network of scientists around the country. Finishing the book became a matter of will; she was fighting breast cancer.

Roger Christie, Carson's great-nephew, said he could tell how ill she was and perhaps at some level he knew she was dying. Carson adopted him when he was five and she was just shy of 50.

"I think subconsciously, I knew she was dying," he said.

Through sheer determination, Carson participated in an hour-long CBS News documentary on pesticides, which aired not long after "Silent Spring" became a national best seller.

"Can anyone believe it is possible to lay down such a barrage of poisons on the surface of the Earth without making it unfit for all life?" she said in the documentary.

While Carson didn't contend that chemical insecticides must never be used, she faced harsh opposition.

"Well, the one guy, the chief critic was — as they say, he would have made a great villain in a Bela Lugosi movie," Christie said.

His name was Dr. Robert White-Stevens, a spokesman for the chemical industry.

"The major claims in Miss Rachel Carson's book, 'Silent Spring,' are gross distortions of the actual facts, completely unsupported by scientific experimental evidence, and general practical experience in the field," he told CBS more than four decades ago. "If Man were to faithfully follow the teachings of Miss Carson, we would return to the Dark Ages, and the insects and diseases and vermin would once again inherit the Earth."

"He was way over the top," Christie said. "'If Miss Carson has her way, the — hundreds of thousands of people would be starving in the streets tomorrow!'"

When CBS turned to government experts, the questions were many, but the answers few. Dr. Page Nicholson, water pollution expert, Public Health Service, wasn't able to answer how long pesticides persist in water once they enter or the extent to which pesticides contaminated groundwater supplies.

Even still, Christie said he knew his aunt was having an impact when President John F. Kennedy mentioned the book at a press conference.

"And my Uncle Jack, John F. Kennedy, read her book, and said, 'I'm gonna appoint an independent commission to investigate whether it's true or not," Robert Kennedy said. "That commission met for almost a year. And then at the end of that time period, [they] came out and said that essentially everything in Rachel Carson's book was true."

Rachel Carson died in 1964, just 18 months after "Silent Spring" was published. She would never know that her crusade against pesticides forever changed the way Americans view their environment.

DDT was banned in this country in 1972. Carson's work also led to the creation of the Environmental Protection Agency, and without her pioneering efforts, we might not be marking Earth Day.

"Silent Spring" foreshadowed the debate over global warming, clean energy and organic food.

But to best understand Carson's legacy, there's no better place to look than Catalina Island, just off the coast of southern California — home again to the bald eagle.

The eagles had all but disappeared after DDT was dumped into local waters, which led egg shells to become so thin that chicks couldn't survive. But just this month, for the first time in decades, eggs left in nests in the wild hatched on their own.

Ann Muscat, president of the Catalina Island conservancy, believes the eagles owe it all to Rachel Carson.

"So I think that wherever she is right now, she must be looking down on Catalina and thinking, 'This is really a wonderful occasion,'" Muscat said.

Tomorrow is Earth Day

Your Life is 72% Green

You live a very green life, and you're aware of how your actions help the earth. Of course, it's hard to be totally green. But when you make a tradeoff, you know why you're making it.

The Tragedy at Virginia Tech

Something so awful happens that sometimes I am just speechless and just left feeling sick to my stomach. That's how I felt after the gunmen killed all those little girs at the Amish school and that's how I feel now in the aftermath of the mass killings at Virginia Tech. I also have a feeling of there but for the grace of God, go I.

I worry about my kids in their respective schools. Kristin's high school has been in lock down several times and now the kids are restricted from using all but 2 or 4 of the bathrooms in the whole big building. Billy called not long ago to let me know RPI went into lockdown after a body was found in one of the buildings. It turned out the man had killed himself but it was still kind of scary not knowing what had happened. And even though Heidi goes to community college locally you just never know when something crazy can happen.

And I know it for a fact. When I was 17 and a senior--December 13, 1972--a maintenance man at my high school went berserk. He was armed with a machete, stabbed two security guards and took a 10th grader hostage. He held the girl in the tiny office next to our psychology classroom. I can still hear the girl's voice, screaming and pleading and how insane the man sounded in reply. In the end, he let her go and the SWAT team shot the man to pieces and killed him. I never ever would have dreamed something like that could happen at my school--but it did.

And it keeps happening over and over.

I've tried to stay away from the news story but came upon it again when I was reading Blog d'Elisson's post today. I'd heard that one of the professors at Virginia Tech had protected his students by barricading the door with his own body and I'd wondered about that man--what caused him to sacrifice himself like that? Read Blog D'Elisson's post, it might make you cry as I did.

I don't know what else to say.

Some Days Are Very Hard

Some days are harder than others when I'm taking care of Tomas. I knew this morning would be rough because he's had a spring break and so he'd be transitioning back into a schedule of eat, get dressed, get on the bus, go to school after more than a week off. The Nor'easter we had yesterday closed the schools and threw everyone off too. I'm not even sure T understood why he wasn't going to school last week.

Anyway, everything was fine until it was time to get dressed. Tomas wanted me to raise and lower the blinds in my bedroom. This is a game we've played for several months now with variations on the language: the blinds go up, the blinds go down, open the blinds, close the blinds, pull the cord, etc. He was still in his jammies and needed to have a diaper change. Again, I'm not sure how much of the behavior is related to PDD and how much is related to just wanting to get his own way. I can't think of any 2 or 3 year old that responds well to "not now" or "later".

Tomas took it very badly. He would not allow me to change him and when he does not want something to happen, it usually can't because he fights like his life was in danger. I stayed calm and said we couldn't play until he got dressed. It takes him a while to process things and so I let him alone for about 10 minutes before broaching again "Let's get dressed." I added that when he got dressed, we would be able to open and close the blinds. He didn't like it.

Now, Tomas slept in this morning. Normally he's up and around by 6:45, just when Linda leaves for work. Today he'd slept until 7:30 so I was working with less time than usual to get him ready. On the other days, he'd be ready so fast we'd have an hour to kill before the bus came. It was still rotten outside so I couldn't use "let's go for a walk" to coax him.

I thought, okay, well, let's at least get him out of my room so he won't be tempted by the blinds. He did not want to go and kicked me several times as I carried him into the hall. I closed the door and right away he began fighting me to re-open it. "Tomas, stop" and "we can go back in when you get dressed" didn't penetrate. Heidi heard the commotion and came down to help.

He's learned to open the door by turning the knob and so he was trying to twist my hand and fingers so that he could get to the knob. I had Heidi go into my room and lock the door from the inside. That stopped that skirmish but then came the diaper battle which left my nerves raw and rattled. He's got to have one particular type of diaper and if it's not there he becomes very angry. Of course, the diaper he wanted wasn't there. He didn't want the diaper or the pants...I was thinking I ought to just send him in his PJs and dirty diaper but I just couldn't. He'd been in that thing all night and needed to be changed.

I called Kennan to see if he had some good ideas to calm T and it was right about then everything seemed to go through the baby's brain. It was like flipping a light switch on. All of a sudden, he was all smiles, cooperating with the diaper change, trying to put on his pants...???? Is it the processing time? Was it that I called his dad? I am not sure he was even aware I'd called.

Well, I won't go on and on about it except to say that I really need to learn how to cope with all of these behaviors. I am okay with sending him to school in his PJs if he won't get dressed but not in a dirty diaper. How do you get through to a child with the issues Tomas has? That's what I need to know...

About Trackbacks to Scribblings...

...we had to turn them off.

We were getting spammed with hundreds of junk trackbacks and it was using up our bandwidth.

That's why it takes so long sometimes to even get a comment approved. We have to go through hundreds of junk comments too but we didn't want to turn those off because we enjoy them so much!

Dog Chews Through Cable...

Just as I was about to post a fun movie meme on Monday night, our cable connection went out. I hate when that happens, don't you? Luckily I'd saved the post and figured I'd wait until morning to repost...except the cable was still out. I rebooted the modem and router a couple of times during the day ... nothing. Now I am annoyed and feeling very cut off from the world. TB calls the cable company and they tell him they can't send someone until Thursday. Ack! Two more days without cable?

Today the repairman came out and we found out that our cable line had come loose (or something) and that some dogs in the neighborhood must have chewed through them. Durn mutts. We have to get some kind of box or something to cover the wire. Anyway, when the service guy looked up, he noticed that our electrical cable had also separated from our house and so TB also had to call NJL&P to come and reattach it before someone got fried.

What was TB doing home? He'd broken a tooth on a peanut Tuesday night, suffered all day Wednesday in pain and at work and when I found out, I called and got him an emergency appointment for this morning. The dentist had to pull the tooth--and it broke into 3 pieces, so TB was in the chair for 3 hours! He is going to get a bridge and all will be well. He was very happy with the care he got at the dentist's.

I was happy to have him home because I picked up a bug, maybe from Kristin. She had/has a temperature of 102 and was throwing up last night. This morning I felt kind of pukey and then just went downhill from there. I slept most of the day and would still be sleeping except that when Heidi went to get Tomas off the bus, he was sound asleep and when he saw it was her and not me he had a great big fit. Then Heidi got mad because I got up to see what was going on and to comfort little T. Argh. So now I've retreated back to the bedroom to catch up on my email and post what I wanted to post over the last couple of days.

Billy called to tell us that he was okay and not to worry--eh? It turns out a body was found somewhere on campus at RPI, the president sent an email to all the parents, and closed the school at noon. I explained to Billy we hadn't been able to get online since Monday but I had lots of questions. The rumors are flying up there that whoever it was had been shot and that someone was still loose with the gun. Great. Well, Billy is back in his dorm and knows to stay put while the cops do their investigation. I hope it's solved soon.

So now I'm going to go check my mail and dig up the posts I saved over the last couple of days. I spent normal internet time writing, playing Chuzzles, Tumblebugs and Sims. It definitely was weird not to be able to get online. I didn't like it a bit. So now I am feeling connected again!

An Abnormality

I really like the plastic surgeon who did my breast reduction surgery in 2005. Not only did he have a great bedside manner and was patient and willing to answer questions, he also believed that the more a patient knew the better of he or she would be. He would anticipate different "problems" that might come up and explain them to me so that if they happened, I didn't get all freaked out. During the last visit when he pronounced me healed and well, he said I should wait a year to get another mammogram. When I got it, he said, I shouldn't be surprised if the doctors found a lot of stuff they didn't like. Most likely it would be caused by scar tissue but it's always better to be safe than sorry. They'll want you to go for a needle biopsy. So go for it but don't let it scare you, he said.

And so I went for my mammogram and wasn't terribly surprised when, the very next day, I got a call from the doctor about an "abnormality" in my right breast--calcium deposits I should have biopsied. Okay, no big deal. I saw the breast surgeon today and she did an ultrasound. There is a cyst and some other thing or other in my right breast. I got a clear view of it. I still wasn't too worried, until the doctor said that if it was just a matter of scar tissue or healing then it would be bilateral.

Huh? She asked if I'd had any problems after the surgery and I didn't think I had. Of course, I do remember that the first surgeon had raised a couple of issues but it was so gently done that I didn't think a thing of it. Had I maybe had an infection that caused this extra weird stuff in my breast? I can't remember.

So next Wednesday I need to go back and have the needle biopsy. TB had taken the afternoon off and had come with me on this appointment and I was glad he was there. It's not so much that I was nervous or scared, it's just so much better not to be alone. I remember having a Pap test come back with abnormal cells right after Rich died and I had to go for further testing alone and it really sucked.

Okay, anyway, the doctor asked if we had any questions and neither of us did. Maybe that surprised her. My feeling is, why ask a bunch of questions now before I know what I'm dealing with? Why freak myself out over maybe nothing? And if it's something, I can't change it anyway. So I'll save all my questions for next week and for when the results come back. Meantime, I just pray.

First Day of Spring

The First Day
==============

Today is the first day of spring.

Spring is heralded by the vernal equinox.
An equinox happens when day and night are exactly equal.
Equinoxes occur twice each year.

On this day, light and darkness are equal.

In our lives,
we often have a tendency to let the darkness overpower the light.

Remember,
there is just as much light as there is darkness.

The thing about spring, from tomorrow forward, the light of each day increases while the darkness decreases.

Remember that.

You can choose which part you live in.
You can choose which part you will focus on.

Which part will you live in and focus on?

...light or darkness?

The light is increasing.

Remember that.

~A MountainWings Original~

See It Through

Sometimes life can throw us a real curve ball, TB and I know that and have been through it. Every once in a while, I find something like this online and I like to use it to remind me to keep on going.

See It Through
===============

When you're up against a trouble,
Meet it squarely, face to face;
Lift your chin and set your shoulders,
Plant your feet and take a brace.

When it's vain to try to dodge it,
Do the best that you can do;
You may fail, but you may conquer,
See it through!

Black may be the clouds about you
And your future may seem grim,
But don't let your nerve desert you;
Keep yourself in fighting trim.

If the worst is bound to happen,
Spite of all that you can do,
Running from it will not save you,
See it through!

Even hope may seem but futile,
When with troubles you're beset,
But remember you are facing
Just what other men have met.

You may fail, but fall still fighting;
Don't give up, whate'er you do;
Eyes front, head high to the finish.

See it through!

~Edgar Albert Guest (1881-1959)~

Guess Who Joe Hill Is?

Okay, I admit it...I'd never heard of Joe Hill, except for the one in the song.

I remember dedications by one of my favorite writers to his wife and children but this writer just said "Joe" and not "Joe Hill". I hadn't heard of any of Joe Hill's books but I will have to go and give them a try now. Why? He is Stephen King's son! I looked at the picture and thought, oh, of course.

The article and picture are here but I'm also going to cut and paste it into my extended entry.

It is so hard for kids with famous parents to try and make a name for themselves! Hey, I am always looking for new writers to read!

Secret of horror writer's lineage broken By JERRY HARKAVY, Associated Press Writer Sat Mar 17, 7:32 PM ET

Joe Hill knew it was only a matter of time before one of the publishing industry's hottest little secrets became common knowledge. He just wished he could have kept it under wraps a bit longer.

But when Hill's fantasy-tinged thriller, "Heart-Shaped Box," came out last month, it was inevitable that his thoroughbred blood lines as a writer of horror and the supernatural would be out there for all to see.

After 10 years of writing short stories and an unpublished novel under his pen name, Hill knows that the world is now viewing him through a different prism — as the older son of Stephen King.

Hill, 34, took on his secret identity to test his writing skills and marketability without having to trade on the family name.

"I really wanted to allow myself to rise and fall on my own merits," he said over breakfast in this coastal city. "One of the good things about it was that it let me make my mistakes in private."

The moniker he chose did not come out of the blue. He is legally Joseph Hillstrom King, named for the labor organizer whose 1915 execution for murder in Utah inspired the song, "Joe Hill," an anthem of the labor movement. His parents, who came of age during the 1960s, "were both pretty feisty liberals and looked at Joe Hill as a heroic figure," he said.

"Heart-Shaped Box," a title drawn from a song by the rock group Nirvana, is a fast-paced tale of another man with dual identities. Judas Coyne, born Justin Cowzynski, is an over-the- hill heavy metal rocker with a strange hobby: amassing ghoulish artifacts.

When Coyne learns that a suit purportedly haunted by a ghost is up for grabs on an online auction site, he can't resist adding it to his creepy collection. Things turn ugly fast after Coyne learns that the suit's occupant is a spooky spiritualist bent on vengeance following the death of his stepdaughter.

The book has drawn good reviews, with The New York Times' Janet Maslin calling it "a wild, mesmerizing, perversely witty tale of horror" that is "so visually intense that its energy never flags." And with its cinematic, and bloody, ending, Warner Bros. snapped up movie rights six months before the book hit the market.

As excitement percolated about "Heart-Shaped Box," so, too, did lingering questions about its author. Inklings about Hill's family background started appearing in online message boards in 2005 when his collection of short stories, "20th Century Ghosts," was published in Britain.

Similarities in subject matter and appearance — Hill has his father's bushy eyebrows and the dark beard he sported decades ago — were enough to stir suspicion among followers of the horror genre.

"It got blogged to death," Hill recalled. But only when his identity was trumpeted in Variety last year did he realize that the secret was gone for good. "That was really the nail in the coffin," he said.

Still, his pen name had a good ride. The editor of "Heart-Shaped Box" was unaware of the King connection and Hill's agent remained in the dark for eight years before the author spilled the beans two years ago.

Hill's decision to follow his father's career should come as no surprise. His mother, Tabitha King, has been turning out novels for decades. His younger brother, Owen King, came out in 2005 with a well-received novella and short story collection that is more literary than horrific and laced with absurdity.

Like Hill, Owen King wanted to cut his own path and his book did not mention his parentage. But he decided against a pen name, figuring it would be too much trouble to try to go by an alias when meeting people or having an agent, manager, publicist or personal assistant handle details of his professional life.

The only sibling who has yet to make it into print is Naomi King, oldest of the three, who has switched careers from restaurateur to Unitarian minister. But Hill said his sister is working on a nonfiction project: a book-length study of the sermon as literary text and its place in American culture.

The King children's interest in books and writing took root early on. "It sounds very Victorian, but we would sit around and read aloud nightly, in the living room or on the porch," Hill recalled. "This was something we kept on doing until I was in high school, at least."

In an era of celebrity worship, the family has prided itself on being able to maintain as normal a lifestyle as possible despite Stephen King's fame and fortune. Hill and his brother attended public high school in Bangor, Maine, before going on to Vassar College, where they overlapped for one year.

After graduation, Hill and Owen King collaborated on a couple of screenplays. They sold one, but it has yet to be made into a movie.

The first half of "Heart-Shaped Box" is set in New York's Hudson Valley, the area around Vassar, where Judas Coyne lives with his latest Goth girlfriend, who 30 years his junior, and two devoted German shepherds.

At first, Hill envisioned his tale of a suit with a ghost attached as grist for a short story. But as he added depth and back story to his characters, it ballooned into a novel 10 times longer than what he originally planned.

The choice of title was pure serendipity. Hill's initial idea, "Private Collection," went by the wayside when the 1993 Nirvana song popped up on iTunes as the author was getting ready to write the episode in which UPS delivers the haunted suit to Coyne. It was then that Hill decided to package the suit in a heart-shaped box.

"Coyne is fiction and (Kurt) Cobain was a real guy," he said, "but I felt that the song fit very well with the book. The song is about a guy who feels trapped and desperate, and the book is about how someone uses music as a hammer to beat at the bars of his own cage."

Hill and his wife, whom he met at Vassar, live in southern New Hampshire with their three children. He is reluctant to say much about his private life, recalling how a crazed fan broke into his family's home in Bangor in 1991 and threatened his mother, a frightening episode that evoked the plot of King's earlier best seller, "Misery."

Stephen King declined a request for comment on his son's novel. "He's trying to go along with Joe's wishes and let him do this on his own," said his spokeswoman, Marsha DeFilippo.

But at a recent panel discussion in New York, King told a questioner that he wouldn't rule out a collaborative book project with his son.

"I guess anything's possible," he said. "I took them on my knee, read them stories, changed their diapers, and now they're all grown up and they have become writers, of all things. I am really proud of them. I guess we'll see what happens down the road."

___

Associated Press Writer Colleen Long in New York contributed to this report.

___

On the Net:

http://www.joehillfiction.com

Amber Eyes

For Cats on Tuesday:

I just love my new camera. It takes great close up shots. I do most of my practicing on Amber, not necessarily the most photogrenic or patient but surely the slowest kitty in the house.

Her favorite perch is right in front of my computer and that is where I keep my camera. I was sitting this far from Amber when I took the next picture. I just used the zoom lens.

In other news: I saw my friendly new DVR (Division of Vocational Rehabilitation) counselor this morning and talked about how to get me back into the work force. I would like to and feel I can handle a part time teacher's aide job and the counselor agreed this would be a good job for me. I had a psych eval last year before Tomas came to live with us and the doctor felt that fibromyalgia and my physical injuries would be the biggest impediment to work and that emotionally I could handle it. Yay! Well, with the ADA it wouldn't be hard to get accommodations--I just need to be able to stand up or sit down as needed and I have enough stamina to go part time.

Billy went back to RPI after his week long spring break. I missed him almost immediately. Well, May is coming...

Heidi & Kristin are doing great. TB and another employee where he works had words. The other guy is pissed off about something and it's just one of those man-things. It seems to have been straightened out, thank goodness. TB doesn't need any more aggravation than he's already got.

And in the world of agita, Linda was supposed to start work through a temp agency today. It sounds like a scene right out of The Grapes of Wrath when the foreman comes to hire from a bunch of guys standing around desperate for jobs. She shows up and there are half a dozen other people there or so. The boss comes out, says I need 5, picks out the five and the others are left out to dry. The temp agency had a representative there too and I wondered why that rep didn't speak up? Say something like, "Hey you can't have our agency send 8 people out and then you only pick 5."

Tomas had a bacterial infection but is doing much better! His class is having a St. Patrick's day party on Friday and I will be there with my leprechaun hat on!

Just when I thought it was safe in this neighborhood...

...my neighbor comes across the street to tell me about a violent break-in catty-corner from us. The neighbors across the street back to the lake and police believe that's where the thieves came from. They kicked in the back patio door to this unknown neighbor's house and took what? We're not sure. I don't know the names of the people who had their house broken into because I so tend to keep to myself. My neighbor from across the street says it's like "Little Harlem" down two nearby streets. I had no idea. I guess I better open up my eyes. Now before anyone jumps at me about "Little Harlem" my neighbor is herself an African American and she's the one that used the term.

As for me, I knew there'd been another gang related shooting not far from the home of one of Kristin's friends. In this case, two young men were arrested for firing into the house and attempting to kill the fellow inside. In the township, in a very troubled neighborhood in town, another young man was shot and killed. This, too, was gang related. I have been seeing police everywhere lately.

It angers me as much as it worries me. Kristin's only a freshman at the high school. I think it's just going to get worse before it gets better. I worry about her safety and the quality of education in that building. I'm angry because of the increasing violence--why are they coming to my town? There's nothing here!

I believe that is probably exactly the problem. There are too many poor people to exploit and tempt into selling drugs and whatever. There are too many bored teenagers with nothing to do. Why is there no teen center here? Why are there no PAL leagues? I guess I should stop complaining here and go down to the township and find out if anything can be done. I know the teen center is supposed to open ... sometime.

Also meanwhile, as my neighbor across the street said, we have to watch out for one another. I better pay more attention to what is going on.

Words of Wisdom

This is long but every one is a gem - worth the read

By Regina Brett The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio

To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 50 this week, so here's an update:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

45. The best is yet to come.

46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

48. If you don't ask, you don't get.

49. Yield.

50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Posted by Cassie at 12:03 PM | TrackBack

Busyness

Thursday was Michele's birthday. Happy birthday again, Michele! We miss her and her family a lot, especially around the holidays and special days like these.

On Friday, Tomas's class had a Dr. Seuss birthday party. I took lots of pictures but am only going to upload this one of T because I'm not sure how the families of the other kids would feel if I had their photos online.

After the party, Linda decided to call Kennan and invite him to take T for the weekend because she said she is sick. It's good because T needs to be with his dad but we didn't get a chance to see him off and I miss him. Linda wasn't here when we got back. Where'd she go feeling so sick? The emergency room? Beats me. She still hasn't returned.

Why weren't we here? We had to go to the Greyhound in Mt. Laurel -- Billy came home from RPI yesterday for a 1 week spring break! It's so good to have him back, even for just 10 days.

Today is Linda's birthday. Happy birthday, where ever you are.

The Price of Fun In the Sun

i have always loved the beach -- playing in the sand, swimming or frolicking in the water, sunning myself and most of all, the sound of the surf in my ears and salty tangy smell in my nose and taste on my lips.

We could easily walk to the town's bay beaches in the summer time and I think we were there just about every day from Memorial Day to Labor Day.

Sometimes we'd get a real treat and Mom would take my brother and me over to the ferry. This was before the Robert Moses Bridge (on Long Island) was built. We'd go from Captree Beach over to Fire Island where the mighty ocean was. My dad taught my brother and me to swim in the bay and although the ocean was scary, we soon learned how to swim there too.

This love of the beach ... it must be genetic.

These are my grandparents at Sea Gate Beach. The picture was taken in 1915 and I'm guessing they were honeymooning. My grandfather, a stern immigrant from Norway, was never one to just sit around, so this had to be some kind of special occasion.

For every summer of my life right up until I got married the first time, I was always at the beach during the summer. I used to do laps in the bay or in the ocean for exercise. Yes, that silly kid in the picture is really me at around the age of 26 or 27. I loved riding the waves on a raft and when one wasn't available, I'd just body surf.

When we weren't swimming or playing in the water, we'd bask in the sunshine. My brother was too macho for sun screen and while I wasn't one of those Ban d'Soleil folks, I wasn't using SPF 15 either. I think the highest I'd go those years was about an 8.

Gosh, I miss the beach. I've been back to several beaches over the years but not to the extent I did when I was a kid. Now it's all different too--I'm putting on SPF 50 and wearing hats and long sleeves and all that other "old lady" garbage I always used to roll my eyes at. And it's all because of my friend, the Beach and his best friend the Sun.

I began noticing the age spots in my 40s. Having a nice gorgeous tan when you are in your 20s is great but these big splotches aren't so much fun...especially when they begin to change. I guess I've had about a dozen precancerous skin cells removed in the last few years. Most recently, I had 4 removed and two are being biopsied. It's the price of all those years of careless fun in the sun but you know what? I wouldn't trade any of them back. There are just too many good memories.

Fog of Confusion 2

One reason I had to make another entry was to get rid of that second explorer page. I was having too much trouble trying to go back and forth. I have only just figured out moving from tab to tab on a single page--which I really like now. Anyway, the other article on fibro fog was on the Arthritis Foundation website and I found it to be helpful and hopeful.

Clearing the Fog

Excerpted from Good Living with Fibromyalgia Workbook.

Many people with fibromyalgia experience unclear thinking or cognitive dysfunction. They become forgetful, lose their train of thought, forget words or mix them up. This is what is popularly called fibro fog. There's no known cause for it, and the only treatment for it is following some basic memory and communication tips.

Below are some common-sense pointers that can help you clear the fog.

Repeat yourself. Repeat things to yourself over and over again. Repetition will keep thoughts fresh in your mind.

Write it down. Whether you write in a calendar, in a notebook or on sticky notes, if you're afraid you won't remember something, putting pen to paper can help.

Pick your best time. If there is something you need to do that requires concentration and memory, such as balancing your checkbook or following a recipe, pick your best time to do it. Many people with fibromyalgia say they perform best early in the day.

Get treated. Depression, pain and sleep deprivation can influence your ability to concentrate and remember. Getting your medical problems treated may indirectly help your memory.

Engage yourself. Reading a book, seeing a play, or working a complex crossword or jigsaw puzzle can stimulate your brain and your memory.

Stay active. Physical activity, in moderation, can increase your energy and help lift your fibro fog. Speak to your doctor or physical therapist about an exercise program that is right for you.

Explain yourself. Explain your memory difficulties to family members and close friends. Memory problems often result from stress. Getting a little understanding from the ones you love may help.

Keep it quiet. A radio blasting from the next room, a TV competing for your attention, or background conversation can distract your attention from the task at hand. If possible, move to a quiet place and minimize distractions when you are trying to remember.

Go slowly. Sometimes memory problems can result from trying to do too much in too short a period of time. Break up tasks, and don't take on more than you can handle at once. Stress and fatigue will only make the situation worse.

Some of these I do already--I know I focus better in the mornings. I read and do puzzles. Other things I need to start doing.

And here's the lyrics for "Ball of Confusion" while I'm at it. I always did like this song.

Fog of Confusion: That's What My Mind Is Today

My title is a take-off of the Temptations song "Ball of Confusion" but that's not what the post is about. I was looking for information on the ball of confusion from an episode of Sponge Bob. You flip the switch on and immediately all intelligence is vacuumed out of your brain and you stand with with a vacant expression, drooling all over yourself. I feel like that many days, like everything's drained out and I can't put two thoughts together, can't seem to do the simplest task (like heat up an already cooked pork roast), and just generally feel like a sack of jello. Most of the time I get really mad at myself when this happens, which does absolutely nothing to help.

What did help was doing a google search of brain fog, all in fun, and coming up with some useful information. Now, here is the problem I'm confronting at this very moment in time: where did I put all that information? I installed Explorer 7 not long ago and it's great because of the tabbing ... except ... if I click on one of my toolbar icons, a whole nex Explorer page opens up. That's what my problem is right now. I have two explorer pages open and trying to process and find all the information I want for this post is sizzling my brain.

On one explorer page, I have tabs for Stumbleupon.com (which looks really interesting!), the lyrics to the Temps' song, my entry and an article called "FIBROMYALGIA AND BRAIN FOG OR FIBRO FOG". However, I remembered also finding an article from the arthritis foundation about fibromyalgia fog. Where did it go? No tabs...had I closed it by accident? And then I realize there is yet another explorer page open. That page opened because I clicked an icon for our photo gallery. And on that page is the tab for the other article.

I am totally blown away. I sit staring at the screen wondering what to do next. I feel a vacuous expression coming over my face. Next I'll start drooling. But wait! This second page has some really helpful information so that I can try to cope with what's happening.

Here is the first article:

Fibromyalgia & Brain Fog or Fibro Fog

Brain fog aka fibro fog is a commonly reported symptom of fibromyalgia. Fibromyalgia patients often describe multiple sensations of fatigue and listlessness combined with transitory states of confusion, poor attention and concentration, and short-term memory loss. This fibro fog tends to exacerbate the deficits in daily functioning that a fibromyalgia sufferer must deal with.

What causes fibro fog? There's no conclusive origin for this symptom of FMS, nor an explanation as to why it exists in varying degrees for different fibromyalgia patients. Sleep deprivation and significant difficulty in achieving and/or maintaining deep level sleep, however, may very well point to the answer.

It is at the deeper levels of sleep (delta wave sleep) that a person's mind conducts its internal "housekeeping". During this phase of sleep, newly acquired information is assimilated and integrated. The inability to get enough restorative deep-level sleep may have an impairing effect on an individual's ability to recall information or operate at a normal level of mental efficiency.

The thing about sleep makes a lot of sense. I didn't sleep well last night and was up really early so that Heidi could go on a field trip to Mt. Laurel. She still has a driver's permit and so I needed to go with her on the drive. Anyway, after I got back home I felt increasingly sleepy so I took a long nap. Instead of feeling refreshed when I woke up, I felt drugged and confused. Then the fog descended.

Next article: Dealing with fog

Sugar's gone whacko

I feel like I've been sick since Christmas. Anyway, TB and I were at the doctor's again about 10 days ago for more antibiotics. I was starting to feel better until Friday or Saturday and now it's like it's all starting over again. My sugar's been really high, in the mid 200s which is worrying me some. Now I have to go back to the doctor again and see what next. I'm taking metformin but it's the lowest dose (I think) so I suppose the doctor will tell me to take more of it. I'm curious to learn more about byetta. TB takes it along with his other meds. It has to be injected but I won't mind if it'll help.

The doctor wants my cousin to use it. She has a pre-diabetes condition. She's reluctant to use it because of the needle. Frankly, if my doctor suggested to me before I became diabetic I would have used it no problem. I guess I'm more inured to the sight of a needle from watching TB inject himself several times a day every day.

A Good Laugh

That's exactly what I did not have when I first read this article a couple of days ago. What I thought was something along the lines of us being doomed or destined or fated for total disaster--no freedom of choice for me here, I didn't vote for this man and we'll be at war again before we can get him out.

By the way, I'll probably be posting a few times about fate, destiny and free will for what will become obvious reasons.

Anyway, today I go to read a fave of mine, Genuine Blog and he's quoting from a friend's blog and I got a real laugh out of it! The friend's blog is called "a href="http://thezeroboss.com/2007/02/14/cmon-baby-finish-killing-what-you-started/" target="_blank">The Zero Boss. I'm going to do the same thing Genuine did and nick the post:

C’mon, Baby, Finish Killing What You Started Posted by The Zero Boss - February 14, 2007 @ 6:51 pm

Um…have we all forgotten what happened the last time we let this man interpret intelligence data? Forget the Federal Marriage Amendment - there oughtta be an amendment specifying that, before starting a new war, the Commander in Chief should finish the previous one. You know, kind of like not being able to eat your pudding until you’ve eaten all your meat.

Mr. Bush already made that mistake once--setting Osama aside to invade Iraq. Now that's the ticket! No starting new battles before the old ones are finished!

Happy Valentine's Day

Great start to the day: I got to sleep in! We had a major storm move through. We got mostly sleet and ice and enough of it to close the schools. TB tried to go to work but gave it up and came back home after spinning out a couple of times. The van drives great in the snow but I don't think any vehicle does very well on the ice. It was nice to have him home on Valentine's Day. In addition to beautiful roses, he'd also gotten me a personalized hoody with a shamrock on it and a nice warm 4-in-1 (poncho, blanket, bag, pillow/cushion).

Linda felt compelled to go to work but was totally frazzled by the experience.

Personally, I've never understood employers that pressure employees to come in during bad weather. Is it because they don't have to pay out on life insurance premiums?

It was a very laid back day. Tomas watched TV and played with us. He has a new thing now where he likes to launch himself across the sofa at TB...and now me. Grandparents are indestructible, I guess, and definitely not as strict about rules like no jumping on the furniture. Heh.

Billy called. Troy is having a blizzard and Billy, even though there was 2 feet of snow on the ground, decided to try and get to class. There is some obscure place on the college website that says whether school is open or not. I don't know why he didn't try to call the school. Anyway, he takes the bus there (technically, he could easily walk on a nice day--and thank God he didn't today) and discovers the first class is cancelled. He has another class with a test scheduled and hangs out to see if anyone will show. By the time he leaves, there are white out conditions. Thankfully someone from pubic safety drove him and several other stranded students home.

He was home and safe so I didn't have complete heart failure but I did say to him--if there is that much snow on the ground to begin with and it's still snowing STAY HOME. Tests can be made up.

I have no idea what the situation will be tomorrow. I am the room nana for Tomas's class and we were supposed to have a Valentine's party. Will we have it tomorrow if there is school? I'll call the teacher and find out ... if schools are open.

Lostaholic

Without a doubt, my most favorite show on TV is Lost. I wasn't in on the first season but was intrigued with all the commercials I saw for the second season. I thought I'd give it a try and, by the end of the season opener, I was hooked. I bought the first season on dvd to catch up on what I'd missed from the year before, joined some fan email lists and got TB hooked on the show as well.

Check this out! It basically describes how I feel about Lost! This is a commercial from ABC that appeared during last year's Super Bowl.

I think what I like best about the show is that the characters are "lost" in more ways than one. For those few out there that haven't heard of the show, the basic idea is that a plane carrying passengers from Australia to Los Angeles goes off course and crashes onto some unknown island in the south Pacific...maybe. In that way, the survivors of the crash are "lost"--they don't know where they are. They are also "lost" because this is not your typical island. Magnetic north is off kilter, there are polar bears on this tropical paradise, monsters in the jungle, and "other" groups of people up to no good. The characters themselves are "lost" in their lives--they are at crucial turning points or are in need of redemption.

Another thing I really like is that the producer and the writers pay attention to what the fans say. Of course, this is not necessarily a good thing. When it worked well, the writers would "shout out" to the fans. Fans who are really into the show watch the episodes over and over, looking for clues and more details. So in the opening episode of the second season, two of the main characters find and watch a very important video. One says to the other, "We have to watch this again." Or the VIPs would take note of questions the fans had about something on the show and they'd have an episode that srt of answered the question.

The downside to all this of course, is that old cliche "if you give them an inch, they want a mile." Fans began to be more critical and demanding, wanting to know the answers to everything right now instead of being patient and letting things play out. Fans complained about the number of repeats last season and I was with them. The network has a stupid policy of beginning the season late (October) and then running repeats because of the World Series, the Christmas season, March madness and all kinds of ridiculous reasons. Who wants to watch 3 new episodes followed by 4 repeats, some of which aren't even from that season? This season, the Lost VIPs convinced ABC to let them do a "mini-season" of 6 episodes, followed by 14 long weeks of nothing, and then a full season starting last Wednesday and running for the next 15 weeks--with NO repeats.

You'd think the fans would be grateful but no, they bitched and moaned about the hiatus too. There is just no pleasing some people.

As for me, I was riveted to the seat by the opening of the "new" season. I thought it was one of the best episodes ever, with a marvellous cast well thought out plot and lots of action!

My theory about where the castaways are: I think it's an alternate reality, a totally different place that they got to via a wormhole or something. As for "the Others", I think there are several groups of inhabitants. The castaways found an old slaver abandoned in the middle of the island. I think one group is descended from that ship. There's another group, scientists, who are affiliated with "The Dharma Initiative" which was a seemingly benevolent bunch of researchers studying behavior, magnetism, zoology and lots of other stuff.

Recently, there's been a new introduction of another group that may or may not be related to Dharma, called the Mitelos Institute. They are more openly sinister (committing murder to recruit a fertility specialist) and may be into the grimmer aspects of the Others' behavior. Maybe they're behind the brain washing and other acts of violence. At least one group of Others is obsessed with chlidren and babies. Maybe their women can't have children and that's why they need fertility specialist Juliet Burke.

Maybe there's yet another bunch of others that have broken off from either this group or the Dharma initiative.

Then there is a lone other: Danielle. She was part of a team that crashed or somehow became "lost" 16 years ago. Her teammates all got some kind of sickness and she ended up killing them. She had a baby girl, Alex, who was baby-napped by the Mittelos Others.

It's going to be fun, these next 15 weeks, watching how things fit together. As one question is answered, another one comes up. That's all part of the fun and intrigue of the show too. I love it!

Since June...Part 1

Now I finally feel I can talk about what’s been going on all these months.

When we first began to visit with Tomas again over a year ago, we were kind of concerned that he wasn’t talking. He also was very reserved with us but I thought that was from the long separation. After all, he’d been through a lot emotionally and although I was hurt that he didn’t seem to remember our closeness from before I tried to understand.

The talking thing…that’s something else. Tomas had frequent ear infections during the time he lived away from us. Linda told us the doctor said his ears were filled with fluid and that’s why he couldn’t talk…because he couldn’t hear. Well, I have a nephew who had a lot of ear infections like that as a toddler and it’s true the hearing becomes impaired. Sean had tubes placed into his ears—what about tubes for Tomas? I guess they couldn’t do that until the infections cleared up and this just dragged on and on and on throughout the winter and into the spring.

Now T was over 2 years old and could not communicate with us. He would look at what he wanted and we’d try and guess what it was. If we didn’t guess right he’d become frustrated and start to tantrum. He would have some mighty tantrums, too, throwing himself against the wall and onto the floor. Now, I would have thought he would try to gesture or point to what he wanted or grab our hands but he seemed to avoid any other attempt to communicate with him. Meantime we were hearing some horror stories about what might be happening at the dad’s house and we were very worried about that.

By the time Linda brought T to live with us, he’d had tubes placed into his ears and the fluid drained away. Still…no words forthcoming, no attempts to communicate and although he could be very loving and affectionate he was also very withdrawn, rigid in his play and routines, and seemingly distrustful. I began to think, if it’s not his hearing that is keeping him from speaking obviously there’s something else going on. Could it be autism?

During this time, there was no contact with the dad. I wanted to call him but was nervous about it because of the way Linda had described him…that he hated us and wanted nothing to do with us. She said he never called her to see how his son was doing and so I wondered if he cared what was going on? Still, I often wondered what he thought about his son’s reluctance to communicate.

Over the summer, as Tomas became more used to us he became more outwardly friendly although he was still very reserved and sometimes unemotional. It was like he was wearing blinders sometimes or deaf/blind to what was going on. Communication wasn’t much better but the intensity of the tantrums decreased...

I contacted early childhood intervention programs and most were unable to act without Linda calling to make the initial request. However, I did finally get in touch with a program at a hospital that could take intake information from me. They still needed Linda to call to send an evaluation team so when she got home from work I gave her the phone and the phone number and she called.

Is This Weather Crazy Or What?

Now I know I've gotta read An Inconvenient Truth by Al Gore. We've been having some really crazy weather years but this has got to be the screwiest! It was seventy degrees here in NJ...who has this kind of weather in January? Florida! I wonder how warm it is there? I think this is more than El Nino and more than a warming trend. I think we are definitely having global warming and I don't care what Michael Crichton writes!

If that wasn't enough, poor Denver and other parts of Colorado are suffering with too much snow! They are getting what the rest of us in the East and mid-Atlantic should be getting! It's not really funny as I've just read that there's been an avalanche, 100 feet wide and 15 feet deep, that has swept cars off the road! Seven people have been hospitalized, more are missing, and rescuers have to use heavy equipment to get through all the heavy snow!

Read the whole article here.

Merry Christmas!

Oh, the weather outside is stupid...

For crying out loud, here it is December 23 and I am wearing a summer tee-shirt, sweating bullets, and all the windows in my house are open! No, I don't live in Florida or in a part of the country where the temperature is supposed to be in the 60s. It's supposed to be winter here! It's supposed to be cold! It's supposed to snow!

The very last time it snowed was on Christmas day, 2002. I remember that it was the first Christmas TB and I and the blending family spent together and it was so magical having the snow come down the way it did...like good fortune and good tidings being sprinkled over us. Before that, there wasn't a white Christmas since 1998.

Are TB and I the only ones who remember when White Christmas weren't as rare as blue moons? It seems to me that when I was a little kid, we had snow on Christmas every single year. Things have changed in the last 20-30 years. What is it? Global warming? Has pollution caused Mother Nature to become totally wacko?

I know how the poor General felt in the movie White Christmas. I sure would love some snow but all we'll probably get is rain.

But the tree is now decorated!!!!

Backwards Update: Our New Well

It seems the only chance I get to really update anymore is on the weekends. By then I forget half the stuff I've done all week!

About the well...we had a new one dug a few weeks ago and TB meant to post about it but never got the chance--he has the same problem I do! We're always busy...and now he's been called back to work, which is a very very good thing for us but a very bad thing for updating!

Anyway, back to the well...

Our water pressure had been worsening and we called in a new water treatment company, Safe Water Technologies. We'd been dealing with a local business for the last 3 years with only temporary success. I mean, our water was totally yucky! It smelled of sulfur and there was so much iron, we were going through tons of salt to try and keep it from ruining our stuff--and stuff got ruined, let me tell you!

Joe Brown, the owner of Safe Water, took a look at the mess we had and figured we needed a new well before we did anything else and knew of some good companies. We called Robbins. Joe's idea was that the new well would get dug and then he'd put in all new stuff for treating our water.

TB took some pictures.

Once the guys started drilling, Tomas was totally fascinated--as were we!

Very cool, isn't it?

Our original well was only 25 feet. This new one is over 60. One of our neighbors thought we should have had Robbins go to 300 feet!

The new well is dug, the old one sealed, and now all that's left for these guys is to cover the big hole in our front yard.

This is the way our yard looks now...we'll have to pretty it up for spring!

Then it was time for Joe to move in and put in our new water treatment system.

First the old crap had to be pulled out. This is under our house! Blech! We're going to need a plumber to come in to look at the old pipes and we also need to remove all that wet yucky insulation! Blech! Blech! Triple Blech!

And here is our nice new system--in our outdoors "closet" which is now heated and holds all the essentials of the house. No more crawl space!

Thank you, Robbins Drilling & Safe Water Technologies!!!!!

Baker's Dozen Weekend

I don't know what ever happened to the meme called Baker's Dozen...it seems to have disappeared. I thought it was a lot of fun. The point was to list 12 things about your weekend and then post a picture. Or post the picture first...whatever. Well, since my time is limited this morning, I'm just going to go ahead and follow that format anyway!

1. The Eagles lost again....big time. zzzzzzzzzz, I really don't care but it's all over the news!
2. TB was called back to work ... YAY! He started back today, hope he is having a good day so far! It's a loooong drive though!
3. T had a first visit from a teacher who will be working with him every week. She's really nice!
4. Pumpkin carving this weekend! Linda and T worked on their pumpkins and Kristin worked on hers.
5. TB and I actually got to eat dinner out twice! That was really nice considering that lately we've had so little free time!
6. Carl's Shoes in Moorestown NJ is the best if you need specially fitted shoes! I remember when all shoe stores used to have qualified salesmen...but young people aren't really interested in taking up the trade. The salespeople at Carl's are all older...so what happens if they all age out???
7. Bookaholic me bought half a dozen books from Borders to add to the room full of novels I haven't had a chance to read yet!
8. Kristin went to a Halloween party at her friend's house
9. Heidi went to the haunted prison in Mt. Holly
10. We tried to coax T into trying on the cute Tigger costume we got from Costco...and he was having none of it!
11. I took Heidi to the Halloween store yesterday and picked up a simple Superman costume for T...hope he'll wear it!
12. It's going to be very strange today not having TB home!!!!

I can't upload a picture yet because they are still all on my camera! Once I upload those to the Net I'll post one here!

In The Mirror

In The Mirror
=============

Someone will always be prettier.
Someone will always be smarter.

Someone's house will be bigger.
Someone will drive a better car.
Someone's children will do better in school.
And her husband will fix more things around the house.

So let it go, and love you and your circumstances.

Think about it.
The prettiest woman in the world can have an ugly heart.
The most highly favored woman on your job may be unable to have children.

The richest woman you know - she's got the car, the house, the clothes - might be very lonely.

The Word says if I have not Love, I am nothing.

So, again I suggest, love you.

Love who you are right now and let God be your barometer.
Mirror Him.

Look in the mirror in the morning and see how much of God you see.
He's the only standard and even when you come up short, He will not leave you or forsake you.

Smile and may God continue to bless you.

~Author Unknown~

This was submitted as an encouragement to women but substitute “woman” “husband” and “pretty” and it applies to men just as much.

Handyman in the House

Some guys who are handy around the house start a project but don't finish. Thank heavens TB likes to finish everything he starts although sometimes he really pushes himself hard. Anyway, his latest project is our new pantry! We love our kitchen but it really didn't have a lot of storage space and we were pretty cramped in there. We decided to order a kit from JC Penney and TB put it together a couple of days ago.

What a lot of stuff, eh? Check out the wine, er, soda, rack! Cool! TB wanted a neater look and decided to add on doors, sides and a top.

Now you see everything...

Now you don't! It's not quite finished but TB is finally taking a break! The pantry just needs door handles and to be stained.

At the moment, people who don't take responsibility for themselves, their actions, or their precious possessions! I have a couple of people in mind as I write this but can't be any more specific except to say we still don't have a very much needed medical card!!!!

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Bell :: ring
2. Abuse ::injure
3. Relief ::get a break
4. List :: groceries
5. Concern :: worry
6. Absolute :: without doubt
7. Cling :: hang on to
8. Dump ::throw away
9. Terminate :: end
10. Wine :: cooking

Aches & Pains

Linda just went to the emergency room. She's had a bad tooth for quite a while now and it's been giving her so much pain she tried taking 8 ibuprofens at once--and they didn't help. She's feeling sick from all the pain medication and so the last resort is the ER. Why not the dentist? She doesn't have insurance yet! Her new coverage doesn't start until November 1.

It didn't occur to me until just now but I thought she should have been covered under her old insurance for at least a year under the COBRA plan. I also know that companies pay by the quarter or the half-year and so she might have been covered but didn't realize it. If she hadn't left already I would have told her about it and said for her to try to use the old insurance.

This is one of the biggest gripes I have about the underinsured and uninsured. When they need medical treatment, they can't afford it and so they put off going to the doctor until it becomes really serious. For instance, if Linda has an infection, it can easily spread to her heart valves. If that happens, the complications can be deadly! That happens to so many people in this country it's pitiful.

Tomas and I seem to have a stomach virus now. He's been a healthy little guy up to now but was off his feed today, very grumpy and kind of lethargic. I started having cramps and other viral symptoms just a couple of hours ago and he seems to have the same ones. :P On top of that there's more than the usual fibromyalgic and arthritic pains lately. Guess the weather's going to change soon.

Monday Madness

1. How do you eat an oreo cookie? (from tricia)I dip them a half at a time into milk just long enough to become really soft and then I pop 'em in my mouth before they fall into the glass!
2. How long does it take you to eat lunch?20 minutes average
3. Caffeine or decaf?Got to be high test
4. Chicken or beef?Buck-awk
5. Pen or pencil?Pen
6. Autumn or spring?Autumn--love the fall colors!
7. Baseball or basketball?Basketball
8. 'Survivor' or 'The Amazing Race?'Hard choice! Eeny meey...Survivor
9. Come up with one question I can ask our Monday Madness participants in the weeks to come.dramas or comedies?

Financial Aid Feast or Famine

FAFSAs and EFCs--alphabet soup that parents of college students understand. The Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) determines your Expected Family Contribution (EFC) based on how much income you've got. The year Billy started at RPI, TB had been out of work (on workman's comp) for 2 years and so our EFC was low because we were broke. Then TB went back to work and for a year, we managed to stabilize ourselves...and then he got laid off. He's still laid off.

This year's FAFSA, however, reflected last year's income and so Billy's aid dropped and we got absolutely none for Heidi's at the community college. I signed a promissory note to make up the difference in Billy's tuition. We're struggling. I guess next year we'll get an abundance of aid again. Today I have a little time to catch up on my mail and reading and was intrigued to find this article online:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Uncovering Secrets Of Financial Aid

Sept. 15, 2006
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(U.S. News & World Report) When the Breen twins of Lexington, Ky., started applying to college last fall, they just assumed that schools would look at their dad's new job as a controller for a hospital company in Tennessee, and the fact that their mom was going to lose her job as a special-education assistant when she moved to join their father at his new job, and provide enough grants to allow them to attend.

"People in the middle class live pretty much paycheck to paycheck," says Matthew Breen, 19. "They can't come up with $35,000 a year. That's absurd."

Then, in March, Matthew and Ryan started getting thick letters - and their first lesson in college economics. While some of the schools patched together enough grants so that they could just cover their costs, others gave the Breens little option but to take out big loans.

"It was really unnerving," Matthew says. "Your financial situation doesn't necessarily dictate how much aid you'll get."

Never has the gap between the simplistic assumptions of applicants and the cutthroat reality of college financial aid been so wide. A report issued late last week documented just how typical the Breens' situation is. The National Center for Public Policy and Higher Education said 43 of the 50 states deserved F's in college affordability for sticking families with higher tuition and making degrees less affordable. Of course, many government officials, school administrators, and educational lenders do try their best to help students afford college. Some elite colleges, for example, are becoming more generous, ensuring that the top students will get enough aid to pay their tuition. And a growing number of states and towns are funding full-tuition scholarships at community or state colleges for good students.

Unfortunately, however, more and more schools are adopting secret and sophisticated aid strategies that often end up increasing families' out-of-pocket college costs. Meanwhile, the rules governing student loans and educational savings plans have changed so dramatically recently that those who fail to adapt will end up paying more than they should have to.

Free ride

But a U.S. News analysis of hundreds of 2006 financial aid award letters, as well as interviews with researchers, college aid officers, lenders, financial planners, and students, reveals strategies that can help make a college degree more affordable.

The most important new strategies are those that yield "free money"-grants and scholarships. Most colleges tell families that the size of a financial aid award depends upon the student's ability to pay and academic performance. That's strictly true only for two kinds of schools: elite private colleges and popular public universities. Well-endowed, top-ranked schools like Princeton simply pick among the world's best students, then provide enough grants to cover anything the students really can't afford. And cash-strapped, application-flooded public colleges such as the University of Massachusetts-Amherst spread around what little scholarship money they have according to fairly simple need, merit, and athletic criteria.

But for thousands of lower-ranked schools scrambling for smarter kids, more generous donors, and increased tuition revenue, aid decisions are far more complicated-and secretive. "Most people would be shocked to learn how much goes into scholarship" decisions, says James Nondorf, vice president for enrollment at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute.

College math

They would indeed. Hundreds of colleges are employing Ph.D. economists, demographers, and even rocket scientists to develop mathematical formulas using as many as 100 different factors about each student to calculate the least amount of financial aid necessary to get the most desirable students to enroll.

These enrollment managers analyze such factors as the student's gender, hometown, intended major, parents' education, high school, and applications to other schools to decide the size of grants. They are increasingly able to accurately identify the students likely to enroll without any aid. Some enrollment managers say they can predict within $100 how big a scholarship it will take to attract the kinds of students the college is short on-such as females at engineering schools, rural kids at urban colleges, budding archaeologists at institutions with empty seats in classics lecture halls, and the like.

Colleges typically keep their unique formulas secret to prevent competing schools from outbidding them, to outflank parents who want to game the rules, and to give themselves wiggle room to make exceptions for special cases.

But even enrollment managers concede the secrecy causes many families to end up mistakenly paying more for college. Worse, some experts fear that colleges may be tempted to abuse their information advantage to manipulate students into paying more than they would otherwise. Rupert Wilkinson, a former American studies professor at the University of Sussex, England, who recently published a history of U.S. financial aid, says that most aid officers "came in wanting to do good. But they need to keep their jobs and meet the institution's purposes," which increasingly means raising more tuition revenue and reducing financial aid costs. "As financial aid has become more complex, it grows more vulnerable to being exploited," Wilkinson says. "There are so many things that can be used dishonestly."

Families who've been through the school of hard financial aid knocks say, however, that a few simple strategies can make college much more affordable.

The starting point is the way colleges determine how much aid students need. The government uses the information a family provides on the Free Application for Federal Student Aid, or FAFSA, to estimate how much the family can afford to spend on tuition-the so-called expected family contribution, or EFC. Many middle-income families are shocked to learn that the government expects a family of five with two students in college to spend anywhere from 22 to 47 cents (rising with income) of every after-tax earned dollar above about $27,000. On the other hand, the federal need formula, used by all but a few hundred private colleges, rewards those who save via real estate or other investments. Home equity is exempted from any contribution. And families with two parents in their early 50s are expected to spend no more than 5.6 percent annually of any nonretirement savings over about $50,000.

The difference between the government's EFC and the full cost of attendance is the need that the government and colleges attempt to fill with financial aid. Families with low incomes and EFCs of $3,850 or less, are eligible for federal Pell grants of up to $4,050. More-affluent families with higher EFCs may qualify for need-based grants from states or colleges.

The good EFC news is that because private colleges have become so expensive, even upper-middle-class families with six-figure incomes sometimes get need-based grants from schools. The bad: The vast majority of colleges fail to provide enough grants to make up the difference between a family's EFC and the cost of attendance. Overall, only half of all college students get any kind of grant. Those grants average slightly over $4,000, which leaves the typical student with a gap of almost $6,900. That can be bridged with federal student loans and part-time work.

But students who find schools looking for their particular characteristics can get schools to fork over bigger grants. The U.S. News analysis of 2006 aid awards and interviews with college administrators reveal many surprising factors students can exploit to increase their chances of getting scholarships:

Academics

Most schools give bigger grants to students who prove their abilities through grades, test scores, Advanced Placement classes, and other indicators. But an analysis of more than 300 award letters sent out by over 100 public and private colleges around the nation reveals a strategy likely to improve a student's chances for merit aid. No matter what the student's SAT score, those who applied to schools in which their scores put them in the top 25 percent of the school's student body tended to get more and bigger grants. On average, letters to students who were in the top 25 percent contained grants averaging $11,144, meeting 81 percent of the student's need. Award letters to students whose SAT scores were at least 200 points below the top 25 percent floor offered grants totaling only $7,800, meeting just 64 percent of need.

Typical were the awards from New York University, where 25 percent of last year's freshmen had (two-test) SAT scores above 1420 and the total annual cost of attendance this year is likely to top $48,000. Of seven awards examined, six failed to provide enough grants to allow the student to attend without borrowing. One student with a family EFC of about $16,000, a grade-point average of 4.1, and a below-average SAT score (for NYU) of 1300 received no grants. The only student to get the full amount of needed aid scored a very high 1520 and had a GPA of 3.9. Because that student came from a family with an EFC of slightly more than $39,000, the school grant of $10,000 made up the gap in the cost of attendance. Barbara Hall, head of NYU'S admissions and financial aid offices, says that NYU doesn't promise to meet the need of any student and generally caps its grants at $25,000. But while NYU does tend to offer better packages to students who have better grades, it also offers bigger grants to lower-income students, without regard to their academic record. "We are concerned about access," she says.

Students who want to increase their odds of being admitted and scoring big aid packages should apply to a couple of safety schools-in-state public colleges and perhaps one or two private schools in which their grades and scores put them at the top of the class. But they shouldn't necessarily end up attending the school that costs them the least, says Sandy Baum, an economist at Skidmore College and the College Board. "For some students, being a big fish in a little pond is a great idea," she says. But others would benefit more by opting for pricier schools with better students and more challenging courses.

Competition

Schools are more likely to give generously to students who set off bidding wars. David Lang, an economist at California State University-Sacramento, found preliminary evidence that students accepted at several schools get as much as 30 percent more in grants than similarly qualified students who get into just one college. The head of financial aid for a medium-sized private university in the Midwest, who did not want to reveal his own school's practices, said many aid officers will look at a student's FAFSA to see what other schools are listed. "It is not so much how many schools as what schools you've applied to," he says. If the student has listed schools with similar costs and rankings in the same geographic region, the officer may say: "Wow, we compete with those, and we have to up the ante," he says.

Applying to several schools also pays off for students who think their initial aid offers were too low. More schools now up awards to students who have better offers from competing schools. In April, Harvard, which gives aid only to meet need, announced that it would match more-generous awards to low-income students.

Gender

At math-heavy schools like Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, where females are in short supply, being a woman is one of about 100 factors that can increase a student's award. "We love women," Nondorf says. But he says other qualities can boost aid as much or even more, joking that the scholarship jackpot would be hit by "a harpist from North Dakota who is a woman and applies to nuclear engineering." Laura Wontrop, a junior majoring in mechanical engineering, says she wishes that applicants were simply judged on their merits. But, she adds, "my dad told me to use what I've got." So she's getting merit and need-based grants from Rensselaer.

A growing number of universities are using aid to address the opposite problem: a shortage of males. Just 43 percent of all current college students are men. And at not-quite-elite liberal arts schools, the male shortage is becoming acute. "At just below the top tier, men are such a scarce commodity that those schools who engage in differential packaging end up putting more money toward the males," says John Maguire, a physics professor turned enrollment manager.

Talent or major

Students know, of course, that there are scholarships set aside for those with in-demand athletic, musical, or other skills. But they may not realize that there is extra aid for students who choose majors that governments, schools, or donors want to encourage. The federal government is starting to hand out grants of up to $4,000 to low-income students who study math, science, or foreign languages. And many colleges funnel extra aid to students who beef up majors the school wants to strengthen. Kellie Laurenzi, dean of enrollment services at Robert Morris University in western Pennsylvania, says she awards more aid to students who apply to the school's new majors such as actuarial sciences or media arts. "We are trying to entice students" who wouldn't have considered the school before it started those courses of study, she says.

Ethnicity or race

Although court rulings and local laws have made some schools leery of race-based scholarships, schools are eager for diversity of all types and thus use aid to attract students who can bring cultural differences to a campus.

Geography

Many schools try to recruit from far away so that students get to meet all sorts of people. But some schools, like the University of Redlands in Southern California, give bigger grants to locals. "We're about meeting demand," says Craig Slaughter, director of financial aid. "We think kids from Wisconsin will be willing to pay more. But we are competing with the Cal States" (the low-cost in-state universities) for California residents.

Timing of the application

Most schools admit a higher percentage of students who apply early. Only a handful of those schools, however, also give those early applicants better treatment in financial aid. Students who risk waiting and apply along with everybody else at the beginning of the year may lower their odds of admission but raise their chances of getting bigger offers from schools, says consultant Maguire.

High school

If previous graduates from the student's high school performed well at the college, or the high school is known as a tough grader, many colleges bend the rules to offer more merit aid, says Lucie Lapovsky, a financial aid economist who served as president of Mercy College in New York from 1999 through 2004. Colleges also often compare all admitted students from each high school's class to make sure the valedictorian gets more than the student ranked, say, 25th.

A student's desire to attend a particular school

Schools can draw surprisingly accurate conclusions about how much a student wants to attend from indicators such as the parents' college record, whether a student has visited a campus, and even in what order the student listed schools on the FAFSA. A study by educators in the state of Washington showed that the higher the student placed the name of a school on the FAFSA, the more likely the student was to attend-and thus, the less financial aid the school might need to offer. Enrollment managers say only a handful of schools use information on a student's campus visit or FAFSA ranking to determine aid, since most schools don't want to scare students off from doing research they need to make the best college decision.

The growing complexity of and competition for financial aid can't help but be daunting. But smart students like the Breens are succeeding by turning the competitive tables on colleges. The Breens each applied to six schools, to increase their odds of hearing from a school that wanted what the boys, both top students and football players, had to offer. In the mix for each: schools that promise to meet 100 percent of admitted students' need. That strategy was expensive, says their father, Gerard. The family probably spent at least $1,000 on applications and campus visits. But it paid off. Matthew ended up at Georgetown and Ryan at the University of Richmond, both of which meet the full need of their students. "We're going to struggle" to cover the family's EFC of almost $35,000 a year for the two students, Gerard Breen admits. "But they did fantastically. I was really proud."

TIP

Boost your odds of getting aid by applying to schools that compete with your first-choice college and also to those where your grades and scores would put you at the top of the class.

By Kim Clark With Emily Brandon
Copyright © 2006 U.S. News & World Report, L.P. All rights reserved.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Feedback Terms of Service Privacy Statement

Five Years After

How can it really be five years? I have the same surreal feeling about 9/11 as I do about the anniversary of Rich's passing. Did this really happen? And now five years ago? Except for those who were very young or impaired, I'm sure that most of us know exactly where we were when we first heard that the World Trade Center had been attacked. I was at work and had just finished interpreting for a client. Now I was free to surf the 'Net--except that no one could get access. What was up? When I finally was able to connect to yahoo, I just could not believe my eyes: the north tower of the trade center was burning. Out of nowhere, a second plane appeared and crashed right into the south tower. Other than the shock and disbelief I can only remember two thoughts. One was for all those people lost, all the newly widowed and grieving. The second was: I'm glad Rich is not here to see this.

For weeks and probably months afterward, I felt angry. How could such a horrible thing happen? After losing Rich, this loss was especially hard to bear even though I didn't know anyone who'd been in the towers or at the Pentagon. I remember feeling hopeless and depressed and thinking that we were all just falling into a deep black hole that would just end in everyone's death and the world's destruction. It took a long time for that black feeling of despair to lift.

I don't think we've accomplished much since the attacks on New York and the Pentagon. In spite of what officials tell us, I don't believe we are any safer now from terrorist attack than we were then. I won't live my life in fear though. One day it will happen again, somewhere else because there is still too much hatred in the world. So it goes.

I got this from The History Channel:

ATTACK ON AMERICA: September 11, 2001

At 8:45 a.m. on a clear Tuesday morning, an American Airlines Boeing 767 loaded
with 20,000 gallons of jet fuel crashes into the north tower of the World Trade
Center in New York City. The impact left a gaping, burning hole near the 80th
floor of the 110-story skyscraper, instantly killing hundreds of people and
trapping hundreds more in higher floors. As the evacuation of the tower and its
twin got underway, television cameras broadcasted live images of what initially
appeared to be a freak accident. Then, 18 minutes after the first plane hit, a
second Boeing 767--United Airlines Flight 175--appeared out of the sky, turned
sharply toward the World Trade Center, and sliced into the south tower at about
the 60th floor. The collision caused a massive explosion that showered burning
debris over surrounding buildings and the streets below. America was under
attack.The attackers were Islamic terrorists from Saudi Arabia and several other
Arab nations. Reportedly financed by Saudi fugitive Osama bin Laden's al Qaeda
terrorist organization, they were allegedly acting in retaliation for America's
support of Israel, its involvement in the Persian Gulf War, and its continued
military presence in the Middle East. Some of the terrorists had lived in the
United States for more than a year and had taken flying lessons at American
commercial flight schools. Others had slipped into the U.S. in the months before
September 11 and acted as the "muscle" in the operation. The 19 terrorists
easily smuggled box-cutters and knives through security at three East Coast
airports and boarded four flights bound for California, chosen because the
planes were loaded with fuel for the long transcontinental journey. Soon after
takeoff, the terrorists commandeered the four planes and took the controls,
transforming the ordinary commuter jets into guided missiles.As millions watched
in horror the events unfolding in New York, American Airlines Flight 77 circled
over downtown Washington and slammed into the west side of the Pentagon military
headquarters at 9:45 a.m. Jet fuel from the Boeing 757 caused a devastating
inferno that led to a structural collapse of a portion of the giant concrete
building. All told, 125 military personnel and civilians were killed in the
Pentagon along with all 64 people aboard the airliner.Less than 15 minutes after
the terrorists struck the nerve center of the U.S. military, the horror in New
York took a catastrophic turn for the worse when the south tower of the World
Trade Center collapsed in a massive cloud of dust and smoke. The structural
steel of the skyscraper, built to withstand winds in excess of 200 mph and a
large conventional fire, could not withstand the tremendous heat generated by
the burning jet fuel. At 10:30 a.m., the other Trade Center tower collapsed.
Close to 4,000 people died in the World Trade Center and its vicinity, including
a staggering 343 firefighters and 23 policemen who were struggling to complete
an evacuation of the buildings and save the office workers trapped on higher
floors. Only six people in the World Trade Center towers at the time of their
collapse survived. Almost 10,000 other people were treated for injuries, many
severe.Meanwhile, a fourth California-bound plane--United Flight 93--was
hijacked about 40 minutes after leaving Newark International Airport in New
Jersey. Because the plane had been delayed in taking off, passengers on board
learned of events in New York and Washington via cell phone and Airfone calls to
the ground. Knowing that the aircraft was not returning to an airport as the
hijackers claimed, a group of passengers and flight attendants planned an
insurrection. One of the passengers, Thomas Burnett, Jr., told his wife over the
phone that "I know we're all going to die. There's three of us who are going to
do something about it. I love you, honey." Another passenger--Todd Beamer--was
heard saying "Are you guys ready? Let's roll" over an open line. Sandy Bradshaw,
a flight attendant, called her husband and explained that she had slipped into a
galley and was filling pitchers with boiling water. Her last words to him were
"Everyone's running to first class. I've got to go. Bye."The passengers fought
the four hijackers and are suspected to have attacked the cockpit with a fire
extinguisher. The plane then flipped over and sped toward the ground at upwards
of 500 miles per hour, crashing in a rural field in western Pennsylvania at
10:10 a.m. All 45 people aboard were killed. Its intended target is not known,
but theories include the White House, the U.S. Capitol, the Camp David
presidential retreat in Maryland, or one of several nuclear power plants along
the eastern seaboard.At 7 p.m., President George W. Bush, who had spent the day
being shuttled around the country because of security concerns, returned to the
White House. At 9 p.m., he delivered a televised address from the Oval Office,
declaring "Terrorist attacks can shake the foundations of our biggest buildings,
but they cannot touch the foundation of America. These acts shatter steel, but
they cannot dent the steel of American resolve." In a reference to the eventual
U.S. military response he declared: "We will make no distinction between the
terrorists who committed these acts and those who harbor them."Operation
Enduring Freedom, the U.S.-led international effort to oust the Taliban regime
in Afghanistan and destroy Osama bin Laden's terrorist network based there,
began on October 7.

Early Intervention Program

I wrote earlier that Tomas and Linda are living with us now. We've had some concerns about Tomas's development and on Thursday, a team came out to talk to us. There were 2 really nice women, a speech pathologist and a physical therapist. They talked to T, engaged him in play and observed him and then let us know that he qualifies for services. What that means is that a team will be set up to meet T's needs and will come to the house. The major area of concern is speech development although there are other lags.

Both women noticed something with T's right eye and recommended he see a pediatric opthamologist. They also said he should see a pediatric audiologist to determine the quality of his hearing. We took him for a well check with his pediatrician who examined his eyes and said yes, that's what is needed and that it's a wonderful thing that T will get the services he needs with the Early Intervention Program.

Now there is just one thing. We don't have T's insurance information. We can't get moving with the appointments he needs until we get that information and hopefully we'll get it soon!

Rules Kids Won't Learn In School

Boy, this is so true. Why do we have to learn the hard way?

Rules Kids Won't Learn in School

Rule #1. Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teenager uses the phrase "it's not fair" 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, they realized Rule #1.

Rule #2. The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as your school does. It'll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it's not fair. (See Rule No. 1)

Rule #3. Sorry, you won't make $50,000 a year right out of high school. And you won't be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn't have a Gap label.

Rule #4. If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'til you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he is not going ask you how feel about it.

Rule #5. Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren't embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Kurt Cobain all weekend.

Rule #6. It's not your parents' fault. If you screw up, you are responsible. This is the flip side of "It's my life," and "You're not the boss of me," and other eloquent proclamations of your generation. When you turn 18, it's on your dime. Don't whine about it or you'll sound like a baby boomer.

Rule #7. Before you were born your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents' generation try delousing the closet in your bedroom.

Rule #8. Life is not divided into semesters, and you don't get summers off. Nor even Easter break. They expect you to show up every day. For eight hours. And you don't get a new life every 10 weeks. It just goes on and on.

Rule #9. Television is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom. Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be perky or as polite as Jennifer Aniston.

Rule #10. Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.

Rule #11. Enjoy this while you can. Sure, parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be kid. Maybe you should start now.

You're welcome.

June: Birthdays, Graduation, Hardship

This has been a very busy month, especially with the two girls graduating and several birthdays being celebrated! Yesterday we went to Pennsylvania to celebrate my mother-in-law Alberta's 70th birthday. She was certainly surprised! Her daughter Debbie and my FIL Fred did a great job planning everything.

Other June birthdays: my dad turned 77 on June 20 and nephew Sean was 19 just this past Saturday. Niece Amber had a birthday June 10 and that was combined with her 8th grade graduation party. Heidi and Kristin both graduated.

Tomas is having surgery to put tubes in his ears tomorrow morning.

The hardship we are having has to do with the fact that things are so slow in the sheet metal trade. Ted is still out of work and we have more expenses than we planned for. I got a ticket-to-work from social security and hope to get a job out of it!

The Graduates: 8th Grade

Kristin and 3 of her friends won the Presidential Academic Award for Excellence. All four kids gave short speeches. TB knew Kristin was writing a speech but had no idea what it was for. This was a very pleasant surprise for us!

These kids won the principal's award. Good for you three! :)

The chorus sang "You'll Never Walk Alone" and it became pretty emotional for the graduates and their teacher.

Unfortunately, none of the pictures of Kristin or her friends getting their diplomas came out. :(

Kristin and some of her friends right after graduation. Two or three of the kids weren't around to be in the picture--they were looking for parents or had to leave.

Kristin's having a small get together tomorrow with her friends as one of them is leaving for the west coast for the summer.

Way to go, Class of 2006 from the junior high!

Later: high school graduation

If Earth Were A Small Village...

If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of 100 people, with everything else remaining the same, it would look like this:

There would be:

* 57 Asians
* 21 Europeans
* 14 from the Western Hemisphere,
* 8 Africans,

* 52 would be female
* 48 would be male

* 70 would be non-white
* 30 would be white

* 70 would be non-Christian
* 30 would be Christian

* 95 would be heterosexual
* 5 would be homosexual

* 6 people would own 59% of the world's wealth, and all 6 would be from the United States

* 80 would live in substandard housing

* 70 would be unable to read

* 50 would suffer from malnutrition

* 1 would be near death
* 1 would be near birth

* 1 would have a college education

* 1 would own a computer

* 0 would play oboe

That's progress for you

Jersey Doo Wop Motels Deemed Endangered By JOHN CURRAN, Associated Press Writer
Mon May 22, 11:32 AM ET

The Lollipop and The Starlux. The Shalimar and The Caribbean. The Imperial 500 and The Tangiers.

With garish neon signs, multicolored exteriors and sweeping deck overhangs, the "Doo Wop" motels of the Wildwoods are the architectural equivalents of a Vitalis-slicked pompadour.

But they, too, are fading into the past.

One by one, the Mom-and-Pop motels are being razed, rendered economically obsolete by a real estate boom that has made the land underneath too valuable to support a couple of dozen $100-a-night motel rooms.

"It's hard," said Daytona Motor Inn owner John Donio, who has been offered five times what he paid for his 20-unit motel, two blocks from the beach. "I want to stay, I really do."

More than 50 of the motels have been demolished in the last three years, giving way to pricey condominiums with none of their charm — or history.

"Without a concerted attempt to halt demolition, these colorful vestiges of American life will go the way of the ducktail haircut, the '57 Chevy and the drive-in double feature," said Richard Moe, executive director of the National Trust for Historic Preservation. "Instead of being demolished to make way for nondescript new development, the Doo Wop motels should be preserved as the focus of an all-season resort and a vibrant, livable community for year-round residents."

The Trust, based in Washington, D.C., included the motels on its list of the 11 most endangered historic places in America.

More symbolic than anything, the distinction is aimed at raising public awareness about the plight of the sites.

Built in the 1950s and 1960s and dubbed "Doo Wop" after a vocal style of the period, the motels sprung up next to the ocean in Wildwood, North Wildwood and Wildwood Crest, catering to a booming post-war America that wanted vacation places with outdoor pools, parking spaces and easy ocean access.

The other sites on the "endangered places" list are:

• The Smithsonian Arts & Industries Building in Washington.

• Blair Mountain Battlefield in Logan County, W.Va.

• Fort Snelling Upper Post in Hennepin County, Minn.

• Historic communities and landmarks of the Mississippi Coast.

• Historic neighborhoods of New Orleans.

• Kootenai Lodge in Bigfork, Mont.

• Kenilworth, Ill.

• Mission San Miguel Arcangel in San Miguel, Calif.

• Over-the-Rhine Neighborhood in Cincinnati.

• A concrete staircase at the World Trade Center that survivors used to escape Tower 1 after the Sept. 11 attacks. Most people don't know the staircase remains; it is closed to the public. The staircase is not included in plans for a new tower.

First Place!

Heidi's sculpture won first place in a competition called "Clay In Mind"! That girl is gifted! Her piece will be displayed somewhere in Philly (we'll find out where from the teacher) and she and her teacher won places in a 2 day art workshop. Woooohooo!

I'd say more but I'm sick with something, was running a fever off and on yesterday. I feel a little bit better today but I thinkthe fever's coming back. Anyway, I had a doctor's appt scheduled for this morning anyway so maybe she can tell me what's wrong with me.

Portfolio Presentation

I'm sure Heidi is so relieved to have her portfolio presentation out of the way! We were up early this morning to drop Kristin off at a friend's and then drive on into Philadelphia to the University of the Arts. That was a real exercise in confusion! It turns out that TB doesn't like Philly very much and is totally uncomfortable driving around there. After going in a couple of circles and in the wrong direction for about a half hour, we finally got ourselves righted and arrived in time for the tours.

U-Arts is located in Center City, very close to City Hall and on the Avenue of the Arts. There's a lot to see and do right in those few blocks around the school. The school itself is made up of older buildings but I have to say I was very impressed when I toured the residence halls. The rooms are either very large studios or small 1 bedroom apartments and they all come with kitchenettes and private baths! The windows are huge and make the rooms bright and airy. I didn't go on the tour of the classrooms because I wouldn't be able to manage all the flights of stairs with my foot. Heidi enjoyed looking at all the different studios.

Her presentation was at noon and she'd brought along a dozen or so pieces to show. I thought she might be facing a whole committee but it was just one single person, a woman, and I thought that would make things a lot easier for Heidi. After about a half hour, TB and I were called back to answer any questions we had about the school and then that was it. TB was so relieved to be getting out of Philly! He and I both agreed that if Heidi wants to pursue art, this would be the best place for her to do it.

Heidi just seemed a little stunned by it. She liked the school and said she'd have to get used to the idea. I know that she's told me she doesn't like change. If this is what she wants, though, we'll do whatever it takes to help her make the transition if she is accepted and if she decides she wants to go there.

Busy Day/Tuesday 10

I am so glad we are getting to enjoy a real spring this year! I was on the run most of the day: we went shopping for a nice outfit for Heidi to wear to her portfolio presentation at U-Arts and had her trying on clothes for almost 2 hours! We went to a couple of other stores and grabbed lunch out, a girls' day together for us! I had a PT appointment and then dropped Heidi off at work.

Ten on Tuesday

10 Favorite Singers/Bands

In no particular order:

Billy Joel
Elton John
The Eagles
Neil Diamond
U-2
Phil Collins
Peter Gabriel
Genesis
The Rolling Stones
The Moody Blues

Spring Has Sprung

The weather has been so gorgeous around here lately! I can remember years where we just seemed to turn from winter to summer with no indication of spring inbetween. This year has been a blessing. We've had the windows open and put up with the very high pollen counts because it's been so beautiful, nice gentle breezes and sunny days. TB ordered some azaleas and some flowers and bushes so that we could begin making our front yard look pretty. We waited and waited for the plants to grow enough to be shipped and, finally, they arrived in the mail.

Neither one of us has a particularly green thumb but the company we ordered the flowers from sent a layout to help us. The plants were labelled with letters of the alphabet (as well as their real names) and we had a "map" of sorts to show us where to plant the flowers and bushes for the best effect.

Kristin was our volunteer heavy duty laborer. Even though TB had already rototilled the ground, there were so many rocks and roots under the earth! TB's main job was to jump on the shovel. Kristin would then use her little shovel to dig the dirt out and plant the flower, root or bush.

Sometimes she had to do her own chopping. The tree we had taken down had some long deep roots! We were very surprised that there didn't seem to be any worms!

She did find one that seemed to be encased in a block of dirt and roots. She's not particularly squeamish and wanted to set it free. Then Heidi came out and wanted to see.

Here is another daughter not afraid to handle slimy things.

I think I hear TB outside with the mulch. I had a job too--taking pictures. So I'm going out again with my camera!

Well, duh!

Yes, I'm reading and watching the news again. This, though, is a step in the right direction. My mother suffered from depression. Sometimes she would go into these scary rages which I have only recently learned is a symptom of depression too. When I was a teenager, I developed panic attacks. I thought I was losing my mind. I went on my own to a doctor when I was about 22. At that time--1976--there was no name for panic attacks. The doctor, though, told me that I was definitely depressed.

Lo and behold, it runs in families! I'm not surprised but I am saddened (as a mom would be) that my daughter is depressed too.

Mental health has a stigma attached to it. Until recently, health insurance companies either didn't cover it or just paid a fraction of the cost. If you needed to be hospitalized, the insurance company wouldn't pay for more than a 1-2 week stay. Many years, I was inadequately insured for mental health issues and so either I didn't get help or I had to go to a clinic. Those were the sorts of places I had to take my daughter to.

Therapists don't stay very long in places like that...and guess what? Patients need consistency so they can develop trust with a therapist! It sucks to start out with someone and then 6 months later they are leaving for a better job somewhere else.

And now comes this article ... and wouldn't it have been nice if this kind of thinking was prevalent when my kids were very small? Or even when I was very small?

Treating Moms' Depression May Help Kids

By LINDSEY TANNER, AP Medical Writer

CHICAGO - Treating a mother's depression can help prevent it and other disorders in her child, say researchers in a provocative study that may influence family health care.

It's the first time doctors have documented what might seem like common sense, but the results have potentially big public health implications, the study authors and other experts say.

"It's a very dramatic and important finding," said co-author Dr. A. John Rush, a psychiatry professor at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center.

Depression runs in families and has a strong genetic component, but environmental factors can trigger it. The study results indicate that for children of depressed mothers, that trigger is sometimes their mothers' illness acting up, said lead author Myrna Weissman, a researcher at Columbia University and New York Psychiatric Institute.

Effective treatment for mothers could mean their children might avoid the need for prescription antidepressants, the researchers said.

"Depressed parents should be treated vigorously. It's a two-fer — the impact is not only on them but it's also on their children," Weissman said.

In the study, those children whose mothers' depression disappeared during three months of treatment were much less likely to be diagnosed with depression, anxiety or behavior problems than those whose mothers did not improve.

The results are "very plausible and very convincing and very useful," said Dr. Nada Stotland, vice president of the American Psychiatric Association and a psychiatry professor at Rush Medical College in Chicago.

"Our society gives a lot of lip service to how important mothers are but in fact we don't always appreciate just how profound their effects on their children are," said Stotland, who was not involved in the study.

While mothers often tend to put their own needs last, this research "is a good argument for them to take care of themselves first," she said. "It's a little like putting your own oxygen mask on first on the airplane. If you can't breathe, you can't help anybody."

The study appears in Wednesday's Journal of the American Medical Association and involved 114 depressed women assessed after three months of treatment. Of the 114 children participants, aged 11 to 12 on average, 68 had no psychiatric disorder when their mothers began treatment.

Thirty-eight women went into complete remission from depression during treatment, which for most was Forest Laboratories' antidepressant Celexa.

Forest supplied the drug and several study authors have financial ties to other antidepressant makers, but the study was funded by grants from the National Institute of Mental Health.

Among children with psychiatric problems, the remission rate was 33 percent after three months for those whose mothers recovered versus 12 percent among those whose mothers did not.

Among children without psychiatric problems at the outset, all whose mothers recovered also remained healthy, whereas 17 percent of those whose mothers remained depressed were diagnosed with psychiatric problems by the study's end.

Weissman said similar results likely would occur with different drugs and/or psychotherapy. She also believes findings would be similar with depressed fathers, although none were studied.

Dr. Peter Robbins, a Fairfax, Va., psychiatrist, said he's seen similar results in his pediatric practice, and not just with depression.

For example, children with attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder often have similarly afflicted parents. Getting treatment for the parents yields improvement in the children's symptoms, he said.

The study underscores "that taking care of the kid means taking care of the whole family," Robbins said.

A little of this, a little of that

Good News:

Billy is here for a visit
Heidi got promoted at work
Kristin's doing well on her federal (or state?) mandated test
Linda's back with her boyfriend
The weather's been beautiful!
I can listen to all kinds of cool music on yahoo! Yahooooooo!
Crestor seems to reverse heart disease by reducing/stopping placque from forming!

Bad News

I think Iraq already is in a civil war, not on the verge of. More of our troops are heading there!
There is another case of Mad Cow disease in this country.
We'd be six months into a flu pandemic before we can come up with an effective vaccine ... if anyone is still healthy enough to do it :P
Miss Deaf Texas was killed by a train.. She didn't hear the warning ... but what was she doing there?

If I still drank, I'd want to be this woman!

Ten on Tuesday

10 Things You'd Tell Other People to Try

1. Paper Back Swap
2. Book Crossing
3. Lost, Wednesdays at 9 p.m. But if you've never seen it, watch Season 1 on DVD first, then download the eps from itunes.
4. a vacation to the Poconos
5. a vacation to Ocean City, MD
6. sign language classes
7. Irish soda bread
8. Cat blogging
9. "Pay it forward"--do something nice for someone and ask them to pass it on
10. Boardwalk Fries with vinegar!

Keeping Cats In

Every cat I've owned since I was about 17 has been an indoor kitty. A cat hating neighbor nearly beat our Pepper to death with a baseball bat when I was 17. I couldn't conceive of such cruelty (times were different then, folks) but I wasn't about to take any chances ever again. I'm glad I didn't ever chance my stance on this even though I've heard that it's cruel to keep cats indoors because it prevents them from living up to their true nature and all that baloney. That's okay--my cats can hunt flies and dust balls, not mice and birds.

The big news story for the last few months (well, aside from the debacle in Iraq, the new threat in Iran--and I'm seriously worried that GWB is thinking that maybe another war will boost his poularity, the DuBai Ports debacle, the Hurricane Katrina debacle (why does everything related to GWB seem to be a debacle?)...has been this avian (bird) flu. A couple of years ago, I began to hear about it in Far East countries like Viet Nam. Their poultry got sick and died and sometimes people contracted this avian flu and died too.

Back then, reporters wrote that bird flu might be our next pandemic. Why? Because even though it's not something humans generally get unless they're exposed to bird, viruses mutate easily and a strain would probably develop that would make people sick. Right now, as long as you aren't a poultry worker you don't have a big chance of getting this thing. Naturally, no one paid much attention at first. It was like AIDS in the 1980s. Oh, well, people thought, I'm not gay and I'm not Haitian and I don't use dirty needles, it won't happen to me.

So great, now there is this avian flu and of course no one is ready for it if it does transmute itself and become deadly to all people. Like any virus, it would be very contagious. Reporters say this could be like the swine flu pandemic around WWI, 1918-1919. Millions of people died. Maybe Mother Nature is just getting ready to purge herself of too many people again.

Or maybe not.

I think the reporters are doing a great job of scaring people with their gloom and doom reports. I refuse to depress myself any more than I already am worrying about the fact that we don't have a vaccine for this and how are we going to keep it out of our country and all that stuff. I think I'm just going to enjoy this lovely spring weather we have coming up and not think about bird flu or Iran or Iraq or three more years of GWB. That all by itself is enough to depress me for months. .

Anyway, what's all this got to do with the cats staying indoors? It turns out the kitties in Austria are getting sick eating birds infected with avian flu. Bird flu discovered in Austrian cats. Around our house, we have lots and lots of birds including Canada geese, regular white geese, and guinea hens. If they get infected with this disease, my kitties won't catch it from them because they'll still be indoor cats.

Booking Through Thursday

This week's questions are from Cate.

1. Do you have any books that are signed by the author? I sure do. I have several books signed by Mark Rainey, a couple signed by David Selby and one by Dean Koontz


2. Do you have a story behind the autograph? Story behind the Dean Koontz autograph: I won it for TB in a contest, lucky drawing! David Selby is an actor from Dark Shadows and he signed books for me at a convention. A friend of mine got me his most recent book. And Mark Rainey is a sci-fi horror genre writer who collaborated on one Dark Shadows novel. A few years ago, we emailed each other a couple of times and he signed his earlier works for me.

My Space

It seems like My Space has been all over the news lately. This is a popular site for teenagers (as well as other folks) online and what makes it different is that it's a social networking site--I guess. I'm trying to learn about it. The first stories I heard were of kids in our area being arrested for what they were blogging. One middle schooler had videos of after school fighting. Another high schooler boasted about selling drugs and actually had pictures of himself with guns. Then there are the horror stories about the predators--kids going out and meeting adults who just want sex.

On MySpace, you are supposed to be 14 or older. To me, 14 is still too young but that's not the half of it. You can put down your age as up to 102. Underage kids are going to lie if they want a site on MySpace bad enough. Parry Aftab, an internet privacy and security attorney, writes

MySpace.com has developed special software to review the profiles of their members, to try and find anyone under age, based on information the members post about themselves. It’s not perfect, but it does help spot the underage members.

While MySpace.com is doing its best to keep your children from using their website and lying about their age, it’s up to parents to do their job too. Parents need to talk with their children about not sharing personal information online. Personal information includes pictures, names and addresses, schools they attend, cell and phone numbers and many other less obvious things, such as the name of their school team, ethnic background and even a mall near your house.

I've been exploring My Space out of curiosity and because I want to make sure my kids are safe. I haven't got much expertise, I guess, because I not only didn't find suggestive pages and blog entries (I am probably not looking in the right places, I don't think like a predator) I managed to get myself onto a couple of groups there--book lovers, cat lovers, and baby boomers. Sigh.

I did see profiles where too much information was given away. I talked to my kids about not putting personal stuff onto the internet a long time ago. Sometimes the most innocent little thing can give away your location so I'd like to be able to make sure what they have is fine. But how would I find them if they don't want to be found? The advice is to get their user names and email addresses--but those things can change. The television advice was: don't let your kids have myspace accounts. I don't agree with that--how can you stop it? They could go to other places and sign up.

It seems the best way is communication, communication, communication.

As I was exploring, I came across a gentleman who was wondering if myspace was safe for kids anymore. He keeps a blog elsewhere but came across MySpace after his nephew killed himself. :( He provided several links for parents to read:

Predator's Playground

View What Your Teens Do Online

He had an article about a boy who was assaulted too.

I looked for recently MySpace stories in the Philadephia Inquirer because I remembered there were quite a few of them and found these:

Teen Arrested After MySpace.com Posting

20 Calif. Students Suspended Over Web Site

Wow. This is really scary stuff!

For tips and other advice, here is another link I found on the man who lost his nephew's website:

Wired Safety and see what else parents can do to protect their kids.

Curious As A Cat

At what point in your life did you first experience total trust in someone or something?

I think I was just a toddler or very young child. I had complete trust in my grandma, who always loved me and I felt safe with her.

Lost Opportunities

My friend Nancy of Hailstones and Halibut Bones was inspired by a recent blogger's entry and now I'm inspired by her entry.

Before Rich died, I was pretty active in the fandoms of two shows I loved, Dark Shadows and Falcon Crest. I met so many nice people online and several became good friends. Several of them lived in Europe--Sylvia, Jonathan and Elfie. Sylvia and I did a little writing together and Elfie and I emailed back and forth a lot. Elfie called a couple of times and said she was coming to the United States. We thought it would be great fun to get together and so we arranged it. Then Rich died and when the time drew near for Elfie's vacation, I told her to come ahead.

Elfie loved America. She loved the ocean, too, and so we spent many days going either to Fire Island or to Robert Moses and we'd just walk along enjoying ourselves and talking. Her dream was to retire and move to the United States. She thought it would be great for us to share a beach house. I said, why don't you just move here now? And she'd say it was because of the Austrian pension system. She wanted to make sure she'd get a full pension and the rules seemed vague about exactly when she could retire.

Once she went back to Austria, we continued to stay in touch by phone and email. She thought of me as the sister she never had. She certainly did seem more like a sister than a friend in that she could be a little pushy and argumentative sometimes, like a sibling might be.

Now fast forward a couple of years. I'd met and married TB and we moved to NJ. Elfie was very happy for me although she realized that retiring together in a beach house probably wouldn't work anymore. However, she was planning to come to the States again and we invited her to stay with us.

We were within days of her visit when she called with horrific news. She wasn't going to be able to come--she had to have emergency surgery! A doctor told her that she had cancer and she had to have this surgery now. We were both stunned and yet she was optimistic.

She continued to be optimistic and talked about visiting us next year through 2 more surgeries. Each time I talked to her, the news didn't seem good. The surgeries didn't work. The chemo wasn't working. She was a very private person and didn't like what the procedures were doing to her. Finally she said to me that I probably shouldn't call her anymore, she should call me when she was feeling strong enough to talk. Also, she'd probably have to have another surgery and wasn't sure when she'd be released from the hospital.

In a way, I felt relieved...and I feel guilty about that. Why did I feel relieved? The type of cancer she had killed my uncle and it was a very scary thing to talk about. I think I am a chicken when it comes to that stuff. Two of my beloved uncles became ill with cancer at the same time and it freaked me out. When it came to the end for one of them, I made myself get on the phone to talk to him and tell him how much he meant to me. I was shaking all over.

The same thing happened the last time I talked to Elfie. I just had this feeling she wasn't going to make it and I told her how much she meant and that we were praying for her and all that other stuff. It was very easy to just do as she asked and not check back to see what was happening. I waited to hear from her. And waited.

Christmas came and went and I thought I should call her apartment. She shared it with her son Michael. I thought I knew enough German to be able to ask how is Elfie. But...I chickened out. Now what friend does that? What sister of the heart wouldn't pick up the phone? I knew what Michael would say and I wasn't ready to know. Buck-awk.

That was in 2004.

Now it's spring, 2006 and in May, it will be 5 years since Rich passed. Five years ago, Elfie and I talked about her coming to the States for her vacation. Time sure flies when you're having fun, doesn't it? Ugh, I thought, some friend I've been, it's 2006 and I have no idea what happened to her. Did I still have her phone number? Should I call?

Now that we have computer technology, I thought to do a google on her--and I found her obituary. She died on October 11, 2004...not so very long after we last talked. So for all of that time I wondered how she was doing, she was already at rest...and I'd never sent a card or an email or called her family to let them know she was loved. I was away from fandom for such a long time, I don't know if there was any ripples online about Elfie. She was a very private person.

I'm sorry she never made it back to States and the ocean she loved so much. I'm sorry I didn't talk to her one more time. Nancy asked her friend, do you have one person you could call at any time you needed? As for me, I do and I feel very blessed and I sure mean to stay better connected and more supportive in the face of a serious illness no matter how scary it is to me.

Happy Birthday, Michele

Apparently Michele's phone line is being checked for trouble and that's unfortunate because her Dad and I and sister Linda have been trying to reach her to wish her "Happy Birthday!" We'll keep trying but hopefully she'll see this birthday wish from all of us.

So March didn't come in quite like a lion today but we're in for another winter storm tomorrow and in honor of the occasion, my nose started running again.

Until Easter, I have given up getting any books for myself free or not. I shouldn't go into withdrawal at all because I'm sure I've got at least 2 dozen books on my "to be read" list.

Are you more...

01) Unassuming or naive? Unassuming
02) Likely to vote based on candidate's overall stance on issues or likely to vote based on political party? I'll vote based more on a candidate's overall stance--I've crossed party lines before if I agree with another candidate
03) A fan of country pop music or a fan of rock pop music? Rock pop
04) A good casserole sort or a main dish and two sides sort? I make more main dishes with 2 courses but I do love casseroles too
05) Pleased with your country's team's performance at the 2006 Turin Winter Olympics or disappointed with their performance? Pleased
06) Gobsmacked or lolligagged? Lollygagged without a doubt
07) Indiana Jones or James Bond? Indiana Jones
08) A believer that there are strict rules about line-ups (e.g. no cutting in line) or one who will let little things like that slide? I let little things slide, life is too short
09) One who understands and can chart Boolean logic in speech or one who either can't precisely map it out or doesn't think it's that important? I don't get it
10) Someone who will eat when you're hungry or someone who will eat because it's time to eat? Both

Diary-X Disaster

In 2002, I started keeping an online diary at Diary-x which was founded and run by Stephen Deken. I really liked it because it was in a traditional diary style. I wasn't used to blog styles and didn't particularly care for them at the time. I also liked that I could lock personal entries. It also seemed to be a pretty close knit community, one I felt comfortable with. But as our family website started growing and growing my little diary seemed a little redundant, I guess, and I neglected it. I decided to stop posting there and had a feeling I should back-up the whole thing--and thankfully I did, using the tools Stephen provided.

Disaster ... and just a few days after I backed up. I went back to read my favorites on Diary-x and it was gone! The server had crashed. Stephen has been running the whole show since the beginning and as the community grew, so did his responsibilities in other areas--wife, expecting a child, etc. He needed help. And he made the biggest mistake everyone warns us about...he didn't back up.

How many of us screw up like that? I do and I get so mad at myself when I lose an entire entry because I didn't hit save periodically. Well, multiply that now by years of entries and numbers of diarists and you have a true cyber catastrophe. Stephen hoped to be able to get it fixed but to compound things, it just can't be done. I'm sure he feels terrible. Members of the diary-x community who paid for the service (there weren't that many of us, I guess) are very angry and feel betrayed.

It's just terrible. On the up side, Stephen did post a data base so that we in the community could find each other again. So far, I've found Red Nose, Absolutely Peachy, and Yakkety-Yak. So I'm going to link to them from here and keep checking the database and hopefully find more of my favorite bloggers.

RIP, Diary-X. Stephen, I can't be mad at you. I know that you must feel horrible about all this.

Aggravation

For those of you who have blogs, don't you just hate it when you get on a roll and have a really good entry going, lots of trackbacks to articles to make your point and all that stuff...and then the computer crashes or you hit a wrong button or ... as happened to me late this afternoon ... you get that error page that says you can't get to where you're going? And you hit refresh hoping hoping hoping that your stuff didn't go where the light goes when you turn the switch off because geez you didn't save it as a draft first but ... pouf! It's gone! Out where ever the lights went. And naw, I can't re-create it because apparently my momentum went where the lights go too ... at least for today.

Computer Update Confusion

Nothing is ever easy, is it?

TB spent hours installing a new hard drive for me and copying over my old one. Well...something happened and not all the files were copied so my computer was screwed up. The reason: some of the files that weren't copied were the ones that we needed to uninstall Office 2000 and the reason for that was that we couldn't get the new upgraded Office 2003 installed...

Well, to make a long story longer, after several attempts at fixing the problem TB eventually had to reinstall Windows altogether. He backed up my settings but not everything took (like my beloved Chuzzles game and some other programs haven't been loaded yet! So I am way way behind on messages and stuff.

Poor TB was up until well past midnight last night. I'm anxious to get everything back so I can post some cute pictures of our Little T and answer my email! Until then...back to the Olympics, I guess!

My Computer Back & Depressed Parents

YAY! Thanks to TB, I have my computer back and it's working great! It had been running slow and frequently was out of virtual memory so we figured I needed a new hard drive. So we got one and TB installed it and the only thing we had to wait for was all those files to copy over to the new drive.

When I finally got online, I caught up on my email and then read news stories. This headline really tickled me:
Kids Often Depress Parents. Really, ya think? And it turns out that parents are more prone to depression than adults who don't have children. Well, I don't think you'd need to be a rocket scientist to figure that out!

I don't think that kids deliberately set out to make us parents miserable; we don't set out to make our kids miserable. No, seriously. But common sense is going to tell you that this is going to happen and that it's a part of life. And of course parents would have a greater tendency to become depressed. Think about it: we love our kids, we want the best for them and when we see them suffer or make bad choices it makes us sad. With enough frustration and sadness there, it's no surprise we get depressed.

Adults who don't have children have themselves to worry about and any pets. They don't have these issues: worrying about the safety of their kids when they're out of the house, worrying about whether they'll get into drugs or alcohol, hooked up with an abusive person, drop out of school, get in a car accident....okay, we're getting extreme here. But it is very stressful to raise kids these days. It's hard work. If you have a kid with a difficult or rebellious nature then just day to day living can be stressful.

There are lots of great reasons to be a parent. But in and of itself, parenthood won't improve your mental health -- or your relationship with your spouse, says psychologist (and parent) Susan Jeffers, PhD. Jeffers, best known for the self-help classic Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, is the author of I'm Okay, You're a Brat!: Setting the Priorities Straight and Freeing You From the Guilt and Mad Myths of Parenthood.

"Society tries to tell us parenthood is the greatest fulfillment of all times," Jeffers tells WebMD. "That is not true for a majority of people. One can find wonderful things about having children. But people are not talking about the negative effect it has on your life. And it is very hard on relationships."

It's not just the wear and tear of having an infant, Evenson and Simon find. Parents are more depressed than nonparents:

Even when their kids have grown and left home
Even when they do not have custody of the children
Even when they adopt
Even when they become stepparents
"You lose your peace of mind, your extra money, your privacy, and on and on and on," Jeffers says. "The worst part of it all is how much you love them, because you worry a lot and you have to keep learning to let go and let go and let go."

This doesn't mean parenthood can't be extremely rewarding, Jeffers notes. It just means that having children doesn't automatically make life more meaningful.

I've been reading Dr. Phil's book and he lists a statistic: parents surveyed were asked would they have children again if they had to do it all over again. One-third said no.

Shoot. I'd do it again, depression and all. It's worth it.

Thursday Threesome

Ten on Tuesday: The Olympics

It seems right that today's 10 on Tuesday would focus on favorite Olympians. I've been watching the games off and on over the last couple of days and have been totally impressed with the courage and convictions of the athletes. It's heart breaking that Nancy Kwan had to withdraw because of an abdomindal injury but boy, she did it with such dignity and grace! Last night, I was watching the figure skating pairs and I saw that awful fall Dan Zhang suffered and althought I was sure she'd have to go right to the hospital, she not only finished the program she skated beautifully--almost like nothing had happened! Speed skater Joey Cheek is donating his prize money to "Right to Play", which will go to the Sudan. Awesome! Then there were the very impressive American snowboarders--men and women.

Ten on Tuesday:

10 Favorite Olympians Ever

In no order and it was really hard to limit it to just 10:

Dan Zhang
Joey Cheek
Mark Spitz
Eric Heiden
Olga Korbut
Mary Lou Retton
1980 U.S. Hockey Team
Sugar Ray Leonard
Shirley Babashoff
Greg Louganis

Valentine's Day

First, to my dh TB: awwww, thanks so much for your post, you really make my world go round, I love you!!!!!

To everyone: Happy Valentine's Day one and all! Here is a picture of what my love and I got for each other:

Check out the smile on the love monkey! He's got a special treat too! So TB and I found a new delicious place to eat a little closer to home: Napa's Country House. We're going to go have dinner there tonight!

I posted a cool picture of the moon TB shot yesterday morning. Last night, he got an even more gorgeous pic using his tripod. Check out his entry.

Full Moon Setting

Early this morning, TB took some pictures of the full moon going down. He'd set his camera to night so that the shutter would stay open longer. He said he wished he had a tripod because he must have moved just a little bit. I think the picture is gorgeous anyway!

Music Memoirs

10 songs that sum up your weekend...or were on your weekend playlist...and one picture that relates back. (oh, and if you feel like it, tell us why you picked the songs you did)

1. Moonlight Serenade by Glenn Miller and the picture above relates back to that song
2. Stewball by Peter Paul & Mary
3. Puff the Magic Dragon by Peter Paul & Mary
4. Another One Bites the Dust by Queen
5. Fat Bottomed Girl by Queen
6. Landslide by Fleetwood Mac
7. Tusk by Fleetwood Mac
8. The Thrill is Gone by BB King & Eric Clapton
9. Rain on the Scarecrow by John Mellancamp
10. Rock This House BB King & Elton John

Why? #1 was on Lost and I happened to be thinking about it and all the others are just a few of many songs I listened to this snowy weekend.

Full Moon Setting

Early this morning, TB took some pictures of the full moon going down. He'd set his camera to night so that the shutter would stay open longer. He said he wished he had a tripod because he must have moved just a little bit. I think the picture is gorgeous anyway!

Music Memoirs

10 songs that sum up your weekend...or were on your weekend playlist...and one picture that relates back. (oh, and if you feel like it, tell us why you picked the songs you did)

1. Moonlight Serenade by Glenn Miller and the picture above relates back to that song
2. Stewball by Peter Paul & Mary
3. Puff the Magic Dragon by Peter Paul & Mary
4. Another One Bites the Dust by Queen
5. Fat Bottomed Girl by Queen
6. Landslide by Fleetwood Mac
7. Tusk by Fleetwood Mac
8. The Thrill is Gone by BB King & Eric Clapton
9. Rain on the Scarecrow by John Mellancamp
10. Rock This House BB King & Elton John

Why? #1 was on Lost and I happened to be thinking about it and all the others are just a few of many songs I listened to this snowy weekend.

Winter Wonderland

TB took this pictures early and I think they came out just beautiful!

These pictures face south on our road. TB was probably standing at the end of our driveway or in the street.

This view is north of our house. I really like the way the pictures of the road came out!

Lots of snow everywhere! TB and Kristin were out shovelling for quite a while!

I'm not exactly sure how much we got. I don't have any boots to go out walking! .

These are our neighbors' houses immediately south of us. I really like the road pictures best, the ones without houses in them!

Now, what could I do to help? The only thing I could think of was to whip up some apple cinnamon pancakes, eggs, and hot chocolate.

ACK! No fair taking surprise pictures of the chef!

How much snow did you get in your neighborhood?

Abandon your cars now...

Snow is on the way...a lot of it. I have a friend who's been looking forward to snow, exasperated with all the warm weather we've been having. Now that I'm not a kid anymore, the only time I want to see any snow is around the holidays. Once New Year's has past, I am basically done with winter and don't want to have anything to do with it until the following year.

I don't always get my way.

i'm not sure how things go in south Jersey because it's been a loooong time since we had any significant snow, but I know that when I was living in Maryland the mere mention of the 's' word sent people into panic and despair. They'd clean out all the bread, milk and toilet paper from stores for miles around....like getting 6-10 inces of snow meant we'd be stranded for months. When the snow started, some people even would abandon their cars with just a couple of inches on the ground. Now that was fun.

Today poor Heidi was called in to work at the crack of dawn. The store needed her for a double shift...I'm wondering if other employees panicked and called out sick? Hopefully Heidi will get some brownie points for this. Meanwhile, the stupid storm hasn't even started yet.

Now, we have enough food and drinks for the next couple of days...but we need entertainment! So we are trekking out to Borders ahead of the storm to make sure we're stocked up on all the books we need. God forbid we should get 10 inches of snow and not have enough reading material!!!!!

Saturday 8

1. do you own, or have you ever owned, a boat?

No, but I'd sure love to have a sail boat

2. how far away do you live from the nearest body of water?

Well.....Spring Lake is just across the street. The ocean is about an hour's drive

3. what type of water is it? (ocean, lake, pond, etc.)

I think I gave it away already. It's a lake, very pretty to look at but I'm leery of swimming in it. You can't see the bottom because of the cedar water and I'm not crazy about lake bottoms anyway. They feel too squishy and icky.

4. do you enjoy swimming?

I love it!

5. do you prefer swimming/floating in a pool, pond, lake, river, or ocean?

My preference is the ocean, followed by a pool. Now I swim in a pool at the gym.

6. what is your favourite water-related activity? (this can be from sailing a yacht to sunning next to a pool to washing your dog in the backyard)

I like playing water volley ball, that's fun. I love to swim laps

7. have you ever taken a cruise? if no, why not? if yes, how was the experience?

Nope, no cruise yet.

8. switching focus to water intake ... what is your favourite liquid refreshment, and why do you love it so?

Ice cold water--it refreshes every single time, is filling, and it's good for me!

"Those Were The Days, My Friend..."

Nearly 40 years ago, a singer named Mary Hopkin was sponsored by the Beatles on Apple Records, their new label. Is that ancient history, or what? I remember the song she came out with, "Those Were The Days". The lyrics were bittersweet, a yearning rememberance of what it was like to be young and inspired to do things that were maybe revolutionary in the hope it would make the world a better place. I was around 14. It made me think of Soviet revolutionaries and gypsies (now called Roma people to be PC)...probably because of the instruments used. It never occurred to me that the song might apply to my generation...in 2006.

I'm a baby boomer and so is TB. A baby boomer is a person born between the end of WWII and the early 1960s. We grew up in some turbulent times, beginning with the assassination of President Kennedy. Even though there was a Cold War going on, I don't think it touched us--not the way this did. We were the Cleavers and the Stones and the Andersons you saw on TV.

Things changed dramatically after Kennedy was killed. The Civil Rights movement had been gaining momentum and the war in Viet Nam had been dragging on. Young people -- the older of our Boomers -- at college age began to sit in and protest. Other young people followed the advice of a real looney named Dr. Timothy Leary and turned on, tuned out and dropped out, becoming hippies. Some lived on the streets and some joined communes. Everyone wanted to change the world so there would be no more killing or injustice. Peace, brother, peace.

As the boomers grew up, they pushed every social hot button and then some. Picking up the civil rights banner. Expanding the universe of choices people have from women's rights to gay rights to abortion. Fighting the war in Vietnam and protesting it at home.

They fought the system and they fought each other. On college campuses across the country the battle lines between left and right were drawn early and shape the red state/blue state political landscape of today.

Yes, I remember "Hell, no, we won't go!" and Kent State and the Summer of Love. I remember the warning that we shouldn't trust anyone over 30 and that the establishment was corrupt.

Now look at us. We've become the establishment we were rebelling against! I laughed my head off the first time I saw Jerry Rubin in a suit. Even Jane Fonda and Tom Hayden "went establishment"!

Whichever side of that divide the boomers found themselves on, there's no disputing the quarter century that followed until 9/11 was a time of relative peace and prosperity.

The boomers became the wealthiest generation in history with spending power of $2 trillion dollars a year. But they've spent far more than they've saved -- much of it on themselves -- especially in their search for the fountain of boomer youth, part of a legendary self indulgence that has a dark side. ...

And yet all across America, from marathons to yoga studios, other boomers are turning the whole notion of aging on its head, or trying to. For all their failings they are still fitter than their parents ever were. And most don't believe old age will actually start until they are 85. That's three years beyond the life expectancy of today's 60-year-olds.

The oldest of us boomers, the ones who were hippies or protestors or what have you, turned 60 on January 1, 2006. When I was 14, someone that age was ancient and now ... well, that's not old. I'm not a senior citizen, my parents are.

The article I read is here.

Here are the lyrics to the song I was talking about:

Those Were The Days
Mary Hopkins
Music & Lyrics : Gene Raskin

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la...
Those were the days, oh yes those were the days

Test Scores

The results are in -- our school district has the third lowest SAT scores in the county. We have the second lowest High School Proficiency Assessment scores. Well...at least we're not at the bottom. I'm more annoyed that the result is probably going to be more teaching to the tests. The top four performers, no surprise, are made up of wealthier areas.

I've been through this before, in Maryland. We lived in Columbia, which is made up of 9 villages. Although each village is supposed to house all incomes some ended up being wealthier than others. Immigrants who are learning English more than likely can't afford to live there. The same is true for broken families, dysfunctional families (like those involved in drugs and alcohol), and families with disabilities. Where do those families live? In a less wealthy area. How do the kids perform on tests? Poorly--for one reason and another.

So the four districts that did well are crowing with pride, although one is afraid that being successful will mean budget cuts to programs, class sizes will get bigger and then ... next time, test scores won't be so high. Boo hoo.

As for our district,

“Overall, we have improved and are making strides,” said Robert Arenge, assistant director of instructional services for Pemberton Township School District. “When you compare us to other (special-needs) schools, we're right there where we should be. Compare us to other schools and we're not quite where we want to be.”

And so it goes. I'm not worried. The girls are doing great.

Revolution

Remember that old Beatles song? The one that begins

You say you want a revolution Well, you know We all want to change the world You tell me that it's evolution Well, you know We all want to change the world But when you talk about destruction Don't you know that you can count me out Don't you know it's gonna be all right all right, all right ...

You know, there needs to be some kind of revolution in the fractured reasoning of some of these middle school administrators and security guards. Three of these 5 kids caused alarm among 2 security guards who apparently have little to no common sense:

Yesterday was Kristin's first day back to school since last Wednesday. We have been totally flattened and steamrollered by a very nasty virus. TB and I still have it and both the girls are still hacking too. Anyway, the middle schoolers apparently misbehaved and were very noisy at lunch time on Friday and so the kids all had to have a "silent lunch".

Time Out: okay, if this is the best the administrators can do it's pretty pathetic but I'm supportive of it. I frankly think they should have come up with a better discipline on Friday which is when the problem actually occurred.

Back to the action: Kristin and two of her friends took to writing notes back and forth. That was allowed, talking wasn't.

Time Out: that was dumb--to me, if you're going to have the kids not talk then it should cover notes too. But that's just me...

Back to the action: the kids had some discussion about their favorite anime and what have you. They sort of compared their principal to a Nazi. That's teenage kids for you. Someone must have made a noise because the next intelligent pronouncement was "No body noises" (like mouth farts, etc). Kristin's friend wrote "kaboom" in response to that...and that's where the security guard comes in.

She sees the word and freaks. Does she ask for the notebook then? No, she scurries off to find another guard. Meanwhile, the kid puts the notebook away. The two guards come back and demand to see the book. The kids are nervous as the guards read the messages. They're worried that they're going to be in trouble because of the Nazi reference. Sure enough, one security guard marches up to an administrator with the notebook...

But guess what? It's not about the Nazi reference at all. The security guard thinks "kaboom" means the kids are going to blow up the school.

As Dr. Phil would say, Are you kidding me?

So the three had to write out explanations about what they were doing and that they hadn't intended to write terrorist messages and blah blah blah.

I said to Kristin that it was wrong to write about the principal and Nazis although it's understandable that the kids were irritated by the punishment. It would have been better to write "this isn't fair" and Kristin agreed. Inwardly, I was thinking: this is so stupid, these kids didn't intend to harm anyone. We need better security guards, ones with common sense. Duh.

So, yeah, I'm calling for a revolution in the way administrators handle junior high school students. There's got to be a more effective way of disciplining them and they certainly shouldn't be putting thoughts into the kids' heads that weren't there to begin with (blowing up the school).

Washing those clothes blues

I hate going to the laundromat to wash & dry our clothes. Before, it was because I found it time consuming. With my own washer-dryer, I could multi-task. At a laundromat, I'm stuck for a couple of hours and hopefully have a good book to read. I have a bladder the size of a peanut these days--laundromats do not have restrooms. Why? I haven't figured that one out yet.

Our dryer needs to be fixed. It began making the most gawdawful noise just before Christmas. It sounds like something (like a chain) got stuck inside the drum and we haven't been able to use it. The repairman came out last week after we'd already had one tense trip to the local laundromat, owned by an Asian lady with a big attitude. To our complete dismay, the repairman said he needed to order parts and wouldn't be back until the 25th, necessitating another trip to the laundromat!

On our last trip, the owner hassled us about using more dryers. She said we had to make sure we could see a "hole" in the clothes pile as they tumbled or we might set her place on fire. She had us stop our dryers, take out some of the clothes and put them into other dryers. I was embarrassed and ticked off but it's her place so we were stuck. Next time, I thought, I'll go somewhere else.

There are two other places in town, both located in not so great areas. One of them is pretty dingy. The other one seems bright on the inside and I thought to go check that place out. I should have. We went back to the first place because I figured the owner would be there to give us change. The banks were closed today because of the holidays.

We had a lot of wash accummulated and no one was there, not even the owner. We put the clothes into the super washers and I gave the girls all the change I had. I went to the 7-11 next door to get more change. Meanwhile, someone pulled up with 5 jumbo loads of laundry. When I got back, Heidi said I needed to give the owner $10 because she'd come out and had a fit when she saw two of the machines weren't going. I went back to look for her and she wasn't there. Another lady showed me how to "call" the owner.

The owner lives upstairs from the laundromat. This is how she's able to keep the place so clean and to keep such close tabs on it. Anyway, down she comes and I give her a $20 to get another roll of quarters. I tell her that she wasn't here and I'd gone next door for the quarters. "That's okay," she says. But don't put clothes in the washer without having the quarters to start the machines.

Yeah. Already my hackles are up.

The owner comes back to warn my girls that there is a minute left on the first two washers--like maybe they are idiots and can't read the time remaining for themselves. It didn't matter that the girls were watching the washers intently. So, in a very timely manner, they move the wash over to the dryers. Meanwhile, someone who's using one of the super washers left the load behind and the machine stopped. I pettishly pointed that out to the owner. It's not my kids who are being "inconsiderate".

Now, about the dryers--I told the girls they had to use 4 dryers--two for each machine. They rolled their eyes at me but I didn't want a repeat of the last time. There was going to be a hole you could drive through in those tumbling clothes!

The owner has a system of colored clothes pins that she puts on the dryer handles. "You green," she told me, clipping 6 pins to the dryer handles. I told her I needed 2 more. She looked at me and I said we still had more washers to empty. Okay, so we get 2 more. What that means is, if all the dryers have colored pins on them and you have a wash you need to dry you are SOL unless you were assigned a color. I learned that on my last trip, too. I'd washed my laundry at home and brought them to dry--and I had to wait. All the dryers had already been assigned. That's why this time I didn't use my perfectly good washer. :P

Well, now it's beginning to get a bit crowded and people are waiting to use the super washers. Now, why didn't they use the little washers? There's a couple dozen of those. I guess the reason is that if the owner sees you've got 3 loads of laundry or more, she wants you to use the super machines. I think she doesn't trust anyone to know how to divide their wash into smaller loads for the older machines. Yeesh. Last time, Kristin was going to split her bag between smaller machines but the owner stopped her. "No, no, no, you use big machine, you wait." So Kristin had to wait for one of the big machines to go free.

Some guy came in with a comforter. You're not allowed to wash comforters in anything but the big machine. Well, now, that makes sense because it can cause a smaller machine to jam. The owner's eyes got huge as she saw him coming and she groaned, "Oh God!" As he came in the door, she went to meet him. "No machines right now, no machines free, you come back, so sorry!"

And so the guy left.

Well, what are you going to do? It's her place, she has the right to run it the way she wants to. But I'm not going back there next time, no way, no how!

Upgrade & Update

Over the weekend, TB updated our MT program and I'm just giving it a try right now. The blog won't look different because I still have the same template. So far, I notice that my font size as I type looks smaller. It's okay except for being a little harder to proofread. In my spare time, I'll play around with it and learn what's new and what I can change and what have you. I'm so hoping that spam--especially porn messages--will be easier to eliminate and block.

What a crazy weekend. In one 24 hour period, we went from 60 degree weather and sunshine to plunging temperatures, high wind, a tornado watch, rain, snow--you name it, we got it. Yesterday morning we got up to take Billy to the bus stop to go back to school and there were 2 inches of snow on the ground! Over the weekend, my arthritis and fibromyalgia flared up and I didn't even have to move to be tormented with throbbing or burning pain in all my joints. I'm feeling better today, thank you, God, for nicer weather and the sun!

I just IM'd with Billy a little and he has 3 new packs of books--5 for his physics class, 2 for German, 2 or more for the next engineering class, etc etc etc. One of his roommates moved out--either to his frat or back home, who knows? and took the fridge with him. Luckily, Billy doesn't use the fridge so it's no big deal. Classes start tomorrow.

I'm going to mess around with a new template I'd like to use for this blog. It's really adorable but it uses these tiny little frames and, to me, is a big waste of space because I'd only have this teeny little space for my entries. So we'll see because I don't know anything about the tags I need for MT. Time for MT template kindergarten!

Happy New Year!

I found this poem on a card at Care2 and I just loved it so much I searched and searched until I found it at author Joyce Rupp's website:

A New Year Blessing

I hope for you in this new year ...

That the single, most significant dimension of life is your relationship with the Source of Goodness who never ceases to sing love songs to your soul

That you find meaning, purpose, and vitality in what you do daily

That you treasure your loved ones and let them know how dear they are to you

That you make choices and decisions that reflect your truest self

That you look in the mirror at least once a day and smile in happy amazement

That you remember relationships are what count above all else - more than work or money, or all the material things we spend so much time tending

That you live in an uncluttered manner, enjoying the freedom to be content

That you keep your sense of humor when things don?t go the way you want

That you find adventure in each new day and marvel at the wonders of creation
which constantly present themselves to you

That you never give up on yourself when others turn away or do not understand

That you are attentive to the health of your body, mind and spirit

That you take risks and accept the growth-full challenges that come to you

That you draw on your inner strength and resiliency when you are in need

That you carry peace within yourself, allowing it to slip into the hearts of others
so our planet becomes a place where violence, division, and war are no more

? Joyce Rupp January 2004

Vicki's Memory Bears

The kids have been wanting something that belonged to their late dad and I gave them a few things but I always wanted to have an item of Rich's clothing made over into a stuffed animal for them. This year I found Vicki's Memory Bears and I thought this was a good time to do it. I still had Rich's grey coat and so off to Vicki it went.

I was so impressed and pleased with the beautiful bears Vicki made. She put a lot of thought and care into making the bears and there was enough material left to make a small pillow for me.

We took these pictures on Christmas morning when the kids opened the gifts:

You can't see the bears fully and so the pictures don't quite do them justice. I'm going to take another picture of them together and post them.

Vicki's a real artist! She can create lovely memories from a baby's blanket or from a tablecloth or a coat or many other things. She also can work with photographs. If you are looking for a special gift, please check out her website. You might be inspired by something you see! These are truly precious gifts because they come from such wonderful memories.

Thursday Threesome

Onesome: Driving-- Hey, what are you driving this winter? Same old, same old? ...or was Santa very nice to you (and if so, please pass him/her along to the gang !)?

I'm still driving my wonderful Toyota Sienna van. :)

Twosome: you-- Hmmm... If you could, and money were no object, what would you be driving? ...and sure: taxes, license, dealer fees, gasoline, tires, insurance, etc. would be covered by Santa!

A luxurious Lincoln Continental Town Car or a Cadillac.

Threesome: Crazy!-- ...and it's crazy, but we've made it through another year. Are you going to be doing any celebrating to ring in the New Year? Yes? What's going to be your way to say "Hello" to 2006?

I'm going to watch the ball drop on New York City's Times Square (on TV) if I don't fall asleep first and then I'm toddling off to bed. TB and I were just talking about it. We rang in plenty of New Years when we were younger; it's no big deal to us anymore.

My Baker's Dozen Weekend...

Normally this is where I'd link back to the Baker's Dozen meme but it doesn't seem to be working at the moment.

Ever try to take pictures of teenagers who don't want to be photographed? TB did on Friday during Kristin's party and he got a lot of hands over faces and blurriness. Here's what I mean:

1. On Friday night, the halls of our house were filled with the sounds of teenagers as Kristin hosted her first ever Christmas party. The kids were only shy when the camera came out!

2. Why are teenagers so camera shy?

3. Fortunately, they began to warm up and allowed the paparazzi to do his thing...for the most part. Some kids still didn't want to be seen. See the kid with her back to the camera? I don't think TB got a picture of her face once. Even in the last shot above she managed to get her arm up in front of her face! :D

4. A good time was had by all...

we think! No, seriously, all clowning aside, everyone had fun. No Christmas music was played nor any Christmas movie was watched, though.

5. Billy came home for the holidays on Saturday!

6. We went to see King Kong--what a great movie! Make sure your seat is comfy though. It's a long time to sit on a saggy or low seat with broken springs! :P

7. The best time to take a bathroom break: when you see the giant bugs appear. Trust me. It's a good time to go!

8. I realized I'm not as done with my Christmas shopping as I thought I was. TB and I went into Target with the kids after the movie and right away I was overwhelmed with the crowds.

9. I'm not working now...why would I shop on the crazy weekend before Christmas?

10. I wanted to watch a Christmas special last night and President Bush interrupted with a speech about how we need to be in Iraq. Just what I want instead of a nice good-feeling Christmas movie--a message of war. :P And on a Sunday! What was he thinking?

11. I'm not tired of Christmas music yet...

12. But where is the snow?

Hodgepodge

I wanted to see King Kong for my birthday--which is tomorrow--and so we went today. What a great movie! Peter Jackson is a movie making genius, sort of like Stephen Spielberg and Norman Jewison (I didn't realize who he was until today) and Ron Howard. I don't want to give any of it away. The special effects and the acting was just amazing...and King Kong, well, I could believe he was real! Jack Black really reminded me very strongly of Orson Welles, it was almost eerie. Anyway, I enjoyed the movie very much! You need to see it in the theater to really appreciate it, but I have to say that sitting in those seats for 3 hours was very uncomfortable!

I finished reading We Were The Mulvaneys by Joyce Carol Oates the other day. This was another story about a dysfunctional family but with a difference. You didn't see the dysfunction until something really bad happened to one of the family members. Again, I don't want to spoil it. The Mulvaneys seemed to be one of those close knit, well-to-do, very happy and successful families people secretly envy. Then comes this tragedy...and the family just totally falls apart. Why? If they were so happy and close knit it shouldn't have happened, should it? Well, now we see that the communication doesn't seem to be there and unconditional love doesn't seem to be quite there. The victim in the family is totally ostracized and that bugged me the most about the story. How can you treat an innocent member of the family like that? Joyce Carol Oates is not easy to read--I found myself either re-reading or just skipping stuff entirely. Supposedly the story will hurt and heal, well, I didn't feel any healing. I guess I was just too ticked off at the "parental units". I just didn't enjoy it that much after that certain breaking point. Oh well...

Unconscious Mutterings:

I say...and you think...

1. Replenish:: refill
2. People:: us
3. Trend:: popular
4. Girlfriends:: boyfriends
5. Spirit:: Holy
6. Banshee:: Irish spirit
7. Oasis:: spot of Paradise in the desert
8. Thrills:: chills
9. Fountain:: fountain
10. Boxes:: containers

My Baker's Dozen Weekend...

Baker's Dozen

1. I have a huuuuge box of photographs and I've been slowly going through them, organizing them and putting them into photo albums. I spent several hours doing just that this weekend.
2. We've got a gazillion digital pictures, too (like the one above)! I guess I need to organize them and ask TB to download them on CDs?
3. The girls and I worked out at the gym on Saturday...it was great to have Jason's advice. I've been curling my toes when I pedal and that's one of the reasons I was having leg and foot cramps!

4. TB and I had another Lost marathon and are finally caught up into the second season...but it's not enough!
5. Oma celebrated her 95th birthday on Saturday, God bless her.
6. The Christmas cards have been arriving!
7. I meant to do our Christmas cards this weekend but never got around to it...:P
8. I also meant to do some more Christmas shopping this weekend but .... there's still 12 shopping days left, right?
9. We treated ourselves to dinner out on Friday after running around all over town. I love diners!
10. I resisted making Christmas cookies another weekend!
11. Richard Pryor and former Senator Eugene McCarthy died over the weekend
12. Here's another picture I put into an album this weekend, from 1993:

Oops--it wasn't a snow day!

We had a small snow storm last night. We were supposed to get 3-5" of snow, last I heard. When my alarm went off this morning, TB said I should turn it off. Schools would be closed. Wow, there must be a lot of snow out there, I thought. He didn't go to work either. So I went back to sleep.

Just after I woke up again around 8:30, Kristin came knocking on our door. She'd been trying to verify that schools were closed and there was no information anywhere. It turned out TB figured schools had to be closed...but he wasn't familiar with the policies of Burlington County! Many times they are open when it would be better for them to at least have a delayed opening...we don't have sidewalks and the kids have to wait in the streets for the bus. This morning, we didn't have a plow come through until 7:30 a.m., well after the high school bus is supposed to pick up kids.

What is with this school district? Sure, I think if weather conditions aren't terrible then the kids should go to school. BUT we do live in a rural area (no sidewalks) and I wonder why the administrators aren't more concerned about kids waiting for buses on unplowed streets?

Anyway, TB drove Kristin to school. She's really conscientious about going I'll say that for her! Good for you, Kristin!

Gas prices jumped! It was nice to see them dropping to a low of $1.86 but then all of a sudden they climbed again by as much as 20 cents a gallon at the place nearest us. Why? Oh...it's because it's winter, it's cold, and the companies want to jack up the prices in time for the poor schmoes who have to order oil for their houses. :P

Ten on Tuesday

10 Household Chores You Hate

This list includes chores I don't handle anymore now that I have younger hands and TB to help. :)

1. Cleaning the toilet
2. Cleaning the rest of the bathroom
3. Dishes
4. Kitchen clean up
5. Mopping the floors
6. Dusting thoroughly
7. Sweeping the floors
8. Vacuuming thoroughly (moving furniture around and stuff)
9. Laundry (when I used to go to the laundromat)
10. setting & clearing the table

My Baker's Dozen Weekend...

Baker's Dozen

1. "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas..."
2. Most of my shopping (90%) is done! Now I just have to wait for everything to arrive so I can wrap!

3. We bought some decorations for our windows so that the house has a much more festive look this year
4. We're supposed to get some more snow! "Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!"
5. A beautiful red cardinal flew over the car as we drove home. I love cardinals
6. TB had a taste for crab cakes and so we had some from Phillips, a wonderful seafood restaurant I first ate in years ago in Ocean City, Md. Now they're in the Inner Harbor of Baltimore and maybe elsewhere?
7. We also had coleslaw and potato wedges...a sort of summery supper on what was a snowy day
8. TB and I have been watching episodes of Lost from the first season while everyone has gone into re-runs. What a great show!
9. I took out boxes of Christmas cards and looked at them. :) Next I have to get the address book.
10. Tried to eat sensibly but didn't get to the gym at all over the weekend
11. I slept for 12 hours Saturday into Sunday--must have needed it!
12. Best of all--we spent several hours visiting and playing with Tomas!

First Snow

I was so excited to see snow on the ground when I woke up this morning! Many years, we don't see snow until later in the winter and it's always so much fun when it arrives early. We're expecting some more next week.
TB took some pictures with his awesome new camera.

Okay, it's less than 2 inches but it still stuck! Gee...could this be the year we have a white Christmas?

The cars belong to our neighbors; the air conditioner is in our bedroom.

Unconscious Mutterings:

Pepper of Cascade Exposures is all boxed in but then poses for some really beautiful head shots!

Tiny of Sisu posed with dignity after also catching a mouse in "On the internet, everyone is famous for 15 people"! Her choice was 'out of the bag' for Sisu's candidacy for a card in the hearts suit in Aaron's "Deck 'O Bloggers 2005" competition.

Sasha and a still slumbering Sergei of Music & Cats can't believe it's Friday morning already!

Tommy of Striving For Average posts a profile of a bright wide eyed kitty sporting a cute little 'stache with an unfortunate resemblance to a person of infamy.

Little Annie of Lisaviolet's Dear Diary sleeps off a catnip party!

After a long day on the set Butterscotch of Mensa Barbie Welcomes You also enjoys a little cat nap!

LeeLoo of Skullsnbats has got to be Harry Potter's greatest feline fan!

Panda of TrailGrams has developed FKS--but not to worry, this is a good thing!

Kiri of Eat Stuff is happy that Clare Eats is much better and will be back to posting regularly again soon and so are we!

The kitties of The Blog Pound plot a takeover of the living room couch!

Some toys can cross "ine" lines, as playful kitty of Maggie's Meanderings & Shameless Plugs demonstrates that a feline can enjoy a canine toy!

Gabriel of Middle-Fork shows off his fluffy and very long long tail!

Peanut of Composite Drawings lovingly administers daily ablutions to her human lovey.

Spike and Boo of Watermark would like to know what's up with all the fake kitties? Real is better!

Poor Gigolokitty is devastated by the early Christmas present he gets from Santa.

There are two very contented Kitties on Josh's Weblog.

Doby and Jackie of The Blue Parrot take a moment to pose peacefully together. They sure are a pretty pair!

Pasha of Just Between Strangers also cooperates for the camera and provides an engaging close-up! Earlier in the week, Pasha and Pixel were in for feline feminine surgery!

Betsy of Baboon Pirates says empahtically: I meant to do that!

This pissed off kitty of CyberVassals is truly scary!

A stray kitty shows up in A Common Room's back yard. Could this be a kitten who's found his way back?

Check out the playful kitties of Where the Dolphins Play. Who says cats don't like water? Well...they have to turn it on first!

Bandit of i-pets.com, then and now...what a cutie!

Isn't amazing how flexible cats are? See how Pip of 7610 can stre----etch!

Sleeping Mommy was treated to a tuxedo-ed serenade

Smacky of Lunar Obverse says "Yes, I like to wash but I don't do laundry!"

Pixel of Lab Kat "bimbles off"!

Thalia of Athenamama says "You've got to be kidding--there are no bad cat pictures!"

Her Ladyship of Elms in the Yard asks Mr. Neighborcat, "Haven't you read that poem by Robert Frost about fences and good neighbors?"

Alex of Texas Oasis is feeling well enough to become a suggle bunny. Glad he is feeling better!

Mister Gato of Pencil Roving has turned his hunting capabilities to catching shoe laces!

Mr. Right of The Right Page posted an internet goodie--How to Give a Cat a Pill

Jack and Brother of Diary of a Feral Cat Colony are introduced. There sure is a strong resemblance!

Meowza of the Mind of Mog wonders where is the rootkit? and then went looking for it? And Izzy makes an appearance for Feline Friday!

Now this is one blissful kitty on Daily Rosie!

The kitty on Beezer Song is missing the most important elements of a comfy bed!

Ace of A Shareware Life is in no way no how interested in playing with silly string!

One of the kitties at Manx Mnews gets into a treasure box much to the delight of little Gracie!

Jerome and Miss Maple, "Beauty and Beast" of Gus Van Horn's blog, pose together.

Ferdinand T. Cat of Conservative Cat would like his pet to get his priorities in order saying --or is it giving?--cheese always comes first before snapping the picture

Rafe and Rhett of No Deep Thoughts show off their pretty eyes!

Hakuna of Blog d'Elisson basket-naps!

Tonks of Allan Thinks also shows off his gorgeous baby blues

A mystery surrounds Willow of M鬡nge -- so what is up with that leg?

Wow, check out Little Boy at The Oubliette!

Nardo is getting quite a workout at IFOC. Well, they say no pain, no gain but he really isn't hurting! There's links to kitty movies, too, but I couldn't get either to open for me yet.

Morris, at Ego, is combating hunger and fatigue--which feeling will win out?

Mouse: That wraps this one up!
Amber: Am I tired!
Mouse: Why? You didn't do anything!
Amber: I watched you supervising our pet didn't I? That was mind-numbing, now I'm exhausted!

Thanks for stopping by! Next week's Carnival of the Cats will be hosted at IMAO. Seeya!

A New Look!

I haven't posted since Hallowe'en for a couple of reasons ... one is because I'm participating in Nanowrimo and mean to go through to the end of the month and beyond...

...and the other is because we bought a lovely new bedroom set at a great price. Gordon's Furniture has been going out of business for the last 6 weeks and we'd been in to look at their stuff a while back. At that time, they weren't very negotiable about their prices and so we figured we could wait a little longer to get our set--we'd already waited 3 years, right? Anyway, last weekend we were out shopping and on whim I asked TB to stop by Gordon's again. This time they agreed to our price!

I meant to take before pictures of our bedroom and I did--but it wasn't until after we'd begun moving things around and cleaning up. So here are some before pictures:

This is our bed...and this is just about the way it's looked except usually the pillows are more organized and sometimes I put my stuff animals on it.

We emptied out our dressers and two bookcases and put the contents into boxes. TB moved the furniture out so we could make room for the new stuff.

Where did all the stuff go? Much of it went into the hallway between our room and the family room but a lot of it ended up here:

and here:

And then...our new furniture arrived on Thursday! Here is part of our room now...

Naturally, Amber and Mouse believe the new bed set is just for them.

Well...but we have a looooong way to go because TB and I are such packrats!

I have been going through our stuff little by little and have gotten rid of a lot--I just have tons more to go through!

Saturday Special:

1. Earthquake...you answer? death & destruction
2. Peaceful Lake...you answer? Lake Placid
3. Chocolate Cake...you answer? my downfall!
4. Snowflake...you answer? pure

Dawn to Dusk

It was that kind of day. There was something going on all day long and TB and I didn't get back home until after 8 p.m. It was a long day, stressful, with ups and downs. The whizz-bang finish was having to go back to Toyota to resign the lease cuz the finance guy made a mistake. They gave us a full tank of gas.

Big whup.

Ten On Tuesday

10 Favorite People from History

1. Jesus Christ
2. Helen Keller
3. Eleanor Roosevelt
4. Mark Twain
5. Abraham Lincoln
6. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
7. Walt Disney
8. Dr. Seuss
9. Georgia O'Keeffe
10. Theodore Roosevelt

What a weekend...

...and now it's almost over! TB and I picked Billy up from the Greyhound station late Friday night. He came down to participate in a karate tournament in Bushkill, PA. We drove him there on Saturday (about 3 hours one way) and met Fred and Alberta for lunch. We stayed together all afternoon, watching the competition and enjoying ourselves. We didn't get back until late. Today we just basically sat around and chilled. It was so beautiful today--the rain finally stopped! A couple of hours ago, we took Billy back to the Greyhound station. What a fast weekend! Well, he'll be back for Thanksgiving.

Pictures from Saturday:

Billy represented Star Karate.

Billy competed in "forms" which was individual moves. Each participant had to introduce himself to the judges, say which school he/she was from and what they were about to do.

This was right after Billy's performance. I didn't want to take pictures during because I didn't want to startle or distract him with the flash.

Here he is about to begin a sparring match.

We're proud of Billy for his dedication and performance! :)

Unconscious Mutterings

1. On the verge:: of a great discovery
2. Tempestuous:: stormy
3. Coherent:: clear
4. Near death:: experience
5. Illiterate:: literate
6. Why not?:: Because
7. Period:: End
8. Long lost:: love
9. Torrid:: hot
10. Nail:: hammer

Our New Car

This picture doesn't do the car justice but this is a close idea of what our new vehicle looks like:

TB, who was pretty adamant he wanted only a blue car, saw a Toyota Sienna XLE Limited in the parking lot that was a burgundy color. It looked really nice! We took it for a test drive and it was totally awesome!

We couldn't afford to buy it--payments would have been around $750 a month. We leased it instead, which is a better option considering all the miles TB has to put on it. We got a 20,000 mile per year contract and that should be enough--we hope!

The car is fully loaded and will definitely ease the burden of the long commute TB has.

I'm looking forward to going to Pennsylvania next weekend for Billy's tournament. We are going to have one comfortable ride!

Ten on Tuesday

10 Best Presents You've Received

1. Mother's heart necklace w/kids' birthstones
2. Heidi's portraits
3. Kristin's art
4. Claddagh ring with the onyx stone
5. Angel Bear
6. Mother's day musical placque
7. Precious Moments figurines
8. Beanie babies from the kids
9. Boo Boo Bear
10. Stuffed animals/knick knacks on my desk--gifts from the kids

What Toddlers Eat

I am a fluffy person and so is TB. Both of us have lots of family members who are also fluffy, including our kids. We really don't want to see the grandkids become heavy like us. What to do? The concern starts young. Like with Tomas, I used to caution Linda about some of the foods she was giving him to try. I was dismayed by her attitude that it's all "genetic" anyway--it's like she was resigning herself to have a big child and well, there was nothiing to be done about it anyway.

Well, I guess I'm not the best role model in the world but I know that's not true. You can be predisposed to being heavy,yes, and it can mean a harder battle but it's one worth fighting. I lost a lot of weight when I was 17 and kept it off until my first baby was born--a good 15 years. During those 15 years, I looked and felt great. I know it can be done; it just takes work and commitment.

Read on for the article I read which sparked this post.

Doctors Warn About Toddlers' Diets

By JAMIE STENGLE
The Associated Press

DALLAS - As toddlers begin eating "grown-up" food, they may also develop grown-up eating habits - like too much junk food and too few vegetables, warn doctors who want parents to change their ways.

Within the childhood obesity outbreak is an increasing number of overweight 2-year-olds, according to pediatrics experts. In an effort to address the problem, the American Heart Association is offering this advice to parents: Children 2 and older should eat mostly fruits and vegetables, whole grains, low-fat and non-fat dairy products, beans, fish and lean meat.

"These guidelines are not that different from what you as a parent should be following," said Lona Sandon, a dietitian and assistant professor at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center in Dallas. "Kids will follow the example of their parents if the example is there."

Of course, in a nation where dinner often comes from a takeout window, keeping kids healthy may require a change by adults.

"We've gotten away from preparing foods at home," Sandon said. "We are eating foods that are much higher in fat and calories and larger portion sizes. We've gotten away from physical activity."

The new recommendations for infants, children and adolescents revise the heart association's 1982 statement. Since then, more and more children have been falling into the overweight or obese category. The updated guidelines, which are endorsed by the American Academy of Pediatrics, also recommend children 2 and older get an hour of exercise a day.

Dr. Barbara Dennison, who helped draw up the guidelines and is associate professor of clinical pediatrics at Columbia University, said that 10 percent of 2-year-olds are overweight, doubling the rate from the mid-1970s.

"The whole idea of a nutritionally balanced diet has been compromised," said Dr. Samuel S. Gidding, another adviser on the AHA recommendations and professor of pediatric cardiology at Jefferson Medical College in Philadelphia. "I think that fast foods have become - rather than being discretionary choices - the main stop for meals."

He said that 30 to 50 years ago, foods that were nutritional were considered "kids' foods." Now, he said, kids' foods are viewed as sweets, snacks or so-called comfort foods.

The heart association notes that by the time kids are 19 to 24 months, french fries are the most commonly eaten vegetable. Experts say that as jars of baby food packed with fruits and vegetables give way to solid foods, nutritious food is often bypassed for whatever is easiest.

The heart association guidelines urge parents not to give up if their kids at first reject healthy food. Experts say it can take up to 10 tries for a child to accept a new food.

Said Dr. Nancy Krebs, co-chair of the task force on obesity for the America Academy of Pediatrics: "It takes a bit of persistence."

Dog Blogging Buddy

We had a beautiful day recently and so I sat outside a while with Buddy.

He wanted me to get up and chase him but I'm not feeling well enough to run after any dog so he decided to take matters into his own paws.

He has a very nasty (covered with sand and dirt) tennis ball and when I wouldn't chase him, he dropped it and began playing with it like it was a soccer ball!

He can move pretty fast when he gets going!

Sometimes too fast!

Unconscious Mutterings

1. Crave::chocolate
   
2. Whole package:: everything
   
3. Roommates:: college
   
4. 5:30:: too early
   
5. Lesbian:: gay
   
6. Poignant:: sad
   
7. Hurtful::gossip
   
8. You and I::we
   
9. Grateful:: Dead
   
10. Giggle:: laugh
    

Cyber Stalkers & Bullies

Bullies and stalkers are everywhere and the ones online are getting a lot of attention recently. Mostly you'd think of kids harassing other kids but that isn't necessarily so. I have been stalked by a cyber bully for at least 5 years. Most of the time, I don't respond to the stalker bully because that would only encourage him or her to go on. With a troll (someone who deliberately tries to start a fight), you can ignore it and it will eventually become bored and go away. This cyber bully has been the proverbial bad penny and keeps turning up and I am angry, frustrated and fed-up.

So what do you do about cyber stalker bullies? I found an excellent resource and have been reading through it here. I especially wanted to know how to deal with my cyber stalker bully and when I saw the "don't respond, don't engage" advice I sort of groaned. It didn't make my pest go away. But I did open my eyes to the next bit of advice: keep all the flaming email and posts.

Ohhhh ... I hadn't done that in all the five years. I mean, I did keep the ugly stuff for a short period of time but then I always got rid of it. Why? The pest seemed to slink away for a short period of time and the crap was so hurtful and ugly I didn't want to keep it. I imagine a lot of us would do that ... just flush the dump, right? Well, no more!

I am pretty sure my pest is the same person because the basic accusatory contemptuous tone is about the same. In the beginning, Pest would leave posts on message boards that I'd killed Rich to get his money to spend on Ebay and was just going to fritter it away and other stuff like that. The posts talked about my physical appearance and those of my family members. It was devastating to read that trash and I would become so upset and cry. Why would someone say something so ugly about me? I can't say for sure but I could get some idea reading the Bullyonline site.

Is that low enough yet? No? Well...when I was about to marry TB, the cyber stalker bully showed up in his guest book and warned him about me, that I would try to kill him too. But when that didn't work, TB became an enemy too and this stalker has left vicious messages for him as well in the past few months. We can ban IPs numbers and do but this stalker is particularly adept at finding us on other message boards, etc ... This is a serious psycho stalker. But the stalker bully is also a coward, always leaving "anonymous" and supposedly untraceable messages.

Anyway, one of the reasons I decided to write about this is because of how often people are bullied online, adults and children. So when you get home from a rough day at school or work and you just want to relax online and maybe post at your favorite websites, you need to be cognizant of the fact that bully stalkers will try to get you there too.

The idea is to get some of your power back. Go to Bullyonline and learn, learn, learn. The website is full of information about bully/stalker profiles, about what to look for in terms of provoking behavior, how not to be so vulnerable and, if need be, how to fight back legally.

Go away, fly.

Thursday Threesome:

Onesome: Domain--Hypothetically, if you could own any domain name you wanted, what would it be and why?

Well, I guess it would be Irishcoda because that was my first ID and I still feel a strong connection to it.
Twosome: Name-- Are you called by something other than your legal name? If not, have you ever had a nickname? Or done something weird with your name, to try and stand out? Like an odd spelling or a slightly different pronunciation? Or just flat out wanted to change your name? To what?

I am called by my nickname, a shortening of my legal name. When I was growing up, my name wasn't common and so I didn't need to do anything weird to it to make it stand out. I have absolutely no desire to change my name.

Threesome: Renewal--Do you have any magazine or other subscription that is an absolute 'must renew' whenever you get the notice?

Not really