Scribblings

Missing T

This week I thought I'd have plenty of time to finish sorting out and then posting the hundreds of pictures TB and I took on vacation. Why? Little T is spending the week with his daddy and family on vacation! I've been going through pictures but not really doing very much .... we really miss the little guy!

Hope you're having a wonderful time, Little T, and see you soon!

Now...back to those pictures...

Happy Mother's Day, and Billy's Home!

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What pretty flowers! I'm hoping that all mothers had as wonderful a day as I did. The best gift of all was having us together. TB, Kristin and I went up to NY to get Billy and bring him home for the summer. It's nice to have him back for a couple of months! To see the rest of the pictures I took today, just click on the pic!

Quick Update on Little T & Other Stuff

I just asked TB to turn off the comments for this blog. I'm sorry to have to do that but until I find a way to screen out the spammers without having to go through and delete all the junk, I just have to do it. I just deleted 275 junk comments and MT only allows me to go at a 20-at-a-time pace so you can imagine how time consuming that is! And I have to delete junk comments at least twice a day so that they don't build up!

I meant to update about our little Tomas. He is doing so much better! He willingly put on the nebulizing mask at the doctor's office when I last posted, thank goodness, and so he got a full treatment. Linda's been giving him his meds and he's been doing much better! He still hacks a little bit but the meds are really helping!

This picture was taken at the restaurant this morning.

Happy Birthday, Billy!

It's hard for me to get my mind around it but my "baby" boy is now 20 years old! This is the first year we are not celebrating Billy's birthday together because he is still at school. He has one more final and then TB, Kristin and I will be going up to NY to pick him up and bring him home for the summer.

In An Emergency...

I'm worried about our little T. Linda took him to the doctor yesterday because he was wheezing and his breathing was labored. It turns out one of his tubes fell out and that ear became infected. The scarier part was that they did a pulse-ox test and his O2 level was only 90%. They had to do a nebulizing treatent. Up until that point, Tomas was very cooperative says Linda but when the nurse came at him with a mask, he began to fight and scream.

It got so bad, Linda says, she told the nurse to stop and leave. Linda held the mask by Tomas's nose and the nurse kept haranging her, saying you're not doing it right! Linda felt that at least this way, Tomas was getting some benefit although the nurse was saying you're wasting the medicine. Okay, now, by then Linda had told the nurse that T is on the autistic spectrum. Aren't pediatric nurses supposed to know what to do when they have a special needs child? Surely there is another way to do this. Tomas has never allowed anything on his head or face, no hats, fake noses or what have you.

Anyway, after 3 hours, they were finally able to come home. By then T's pulse-ox was up to 93%, still low. Linda told me they would have to return in the morning (this morning). So they've been gone almost 3 hours again and I'm wondering what's happening. Will they have to send T to the ER? I'm very worried.

Tomas At Play

Today when Tomas sat on my lap and watched me play Chuzzles, I heard him say, "blue, blue!" Oh boy, was I happy! I'd heard from Kennan that Tomas can run and jump over an object and that he was saying blue and yellow but hadn't seen or heard yet myself. But as I moved my cursor over a blue Chuzzle, he said it and it was clear as a bell, "Blue, blue". His teacher has written us notes that he is progressing quickly through his program and can match colors and shapes. He's still fairly "self-directed" but he's getting much better at complying with requests we make of him.

At dinner time, I was remembering what the early intervention teacher said once about having Tomas sit in a booster seat so that his feet would touch the chair. It's supposed to help a child feel centered. Tomas doesn't like his booster seat but he does like his little chair and table so we moved it close to the big dining room table and it seemed to work. He had both feet on the floor and his own table to sit at and he just seemed much more comfortable.

For some reason, putting on his pants and/or shirt remains an issue. We haven't quite figured that one out all together. I know he prefers his pants to have snaps and zippers. Maybe that's why he's reluctant to put on jammie bottoms or track pants. As for the shirts--we also know he does not like button down shirts. Polos and tee shirts are fine but not always. We are all a work in progress.

I took pictures of Tomas at play the other day. Click the picture to get the rest of the album!

A whole lot of remodeling going on!

Now that there are 7 of us, we decided the smart thing to do would be divide Heidi's humongous room into two. This way, Billy has a room to live in when he's home and we don't have to make Kristin, Heidi, Linda or Tomas double up with anyone. Heidi cleaned out her room as best she could over the weekend and today came Phase I: taking the bunk bed apart and moving stuff out of the room.

Ready, set, go! To see the pictures I took today click on this pic

How did Indigo react? Check out This That & The Other Thing to find out!

Small Update

It's been another lovely weekend, even nicer than the last one because of the milder temperatures. TB and Kristin continued working on our garden. Check it out so far:

Linda worked on a project of her own...painting the bedroom she shares with Little T!

Kennan and T spent the weekend together and had a wonderful time. Tomas has begun to run and jump! He also can blow hard enough on his pinwheel to make it spin. He's really coming a long way since this time last year!

Still, there are ups and downs. It was pretty clear T did not want to come home after such a great weekend with his dad. It's hard enough on any kid who has to go back and forth between households but I guess it's even moreso for T because he can't tell us yet how he feels. With time and work, we are hoping and praying he'll have plenty of words to tell us.

Wordless Wednesday

Earth Day at our house

Want to see what TB, Linda and Kristin did to celebrate Earth Day? Click the pic! Heidi was at work today and what did I do? I was the photographer!

Play

We're impatiently waiting for more spring like weather too! Our play has been indoors lately. This picture was taken at the Children's Museum.

Just For Ryan

Happy 11th birthday, Ryan, we wish we could be there to celebrate with you! Have a great day! With love from all of us!

What can we do on a rainy miserable day?

We can play Candy Land!

I was saving the game just for a day like this one...raining cats and dogs and just totally miserable outside.

I opened the game board and took out the pieces and the cards, leaving them out for a little while until Tomas noticed them. He enjoyed the colorful trail leading to the candy palace and marched the people around. For a while, I played the game with all the pieces, moving them from colored space to colored space. Tomas does a lot of watching from the corner of his eye and I'm sure it won't be long before he's playing this game the conventional way as well as his own imaginative Tomas way.

Candy Land is back in my life once again! I played it as a child, played it innumerable times with my kids and now am appreciating it all over again as a nana!

Wordless Wednesday

Happy Easter 2007

It is so cold out today! I heard on a weather report that the high today will not come close to the temperatures we had on Christmas Day. It makes me wonder!

We are off to TB's mom's house for dinner today but first I wanted to wish all my friends and loved ones a Happy Easter and I wanted to show off the lovely flowers in our bedroom.

Yesterday, TB gave me this lovely arrangement:

and then this morning Kristin surprised me with this lovely lily

I so love flowers!

The pictures I've taken for Easter so far are here. I may be adding more later!

Wordless Wednesday

Happiness Is ...

...precious time spent with family and loved ones!

This picture was taken last July at the Cape May Lighthouse. We sure did enjoy our vacation with three of the grandchildren from Tennessee, Brandon, Ryan & Taylor. We miss them! And Billy, our son who has been away at college, will be home next month!

A Lovely Day

I actually took these pictures a few days ago, on a gorgeous day in the mid-70s.

Is there a better activity for a kid on a lovely day than climbing a tree?

Kennan came over to visit and Tomas enjoyed playing with him!

Kristin cleaned out the bunny cages--boy, did they need it!

Time to see if the slide is working!

Listen...do ya wanna know a secret?

There are more lovely days on the way!

For more pictures, click here.

Busyness

Thursday was Michele's birthday. Happy birthday again, Michele! We miss her and her family a lot, especially around the holidays and special days like these.

On Friday, Tomas's class had a Dr. Seuss birthday party. I took lots of pictures but am only going to upload this one of T because I'm not sure how the families of the other kids would feel if I had their photos online.

After the party, Linda decided to call Kennan and invite him to take T for the weekend because she said she is sick. It's good because T needs to be with his dad but we didn't get a chance to see him off and I miss him. Linda wasn't here when we got back. Where'd she go feeling so sick? The emergency room? Beats me. She still hasn't returned.

Why weren't we here? We had to go to the Greyhound in Mt. Laurel -- Billy came home from RPI yesterday for a 1 week spring break! It's so good to have him back, even for just 10 days.

Today is Linda's birthday. Happy birthday, where ever you are.

Catch Up & Wednesday Mind Hump

Finally I am starting to feel better and finally my sugar is coming down.

What else?

Linda got fired -- took too many days off, they say. She's already got some interviews lined up.

Billy got an infection in his toe from a blister that went bad. He went to the doctor right away, thank goodness, got an antibiotic and his toe is much better already. He seems to be having a good semester this time around, no engineering classes to fight with. He is going to major in physics which is about as indecipherable to me as engineering but more power to him!

Heidi hasn't gotten to practice drive too much the last week because I've been so sick but she's doing well behind the wheel and enjoys it. Yay!

And Kristin's having some trouble with her jaw still...I'm hoping that she won't have to have surgery to correct it but I guess we'll see what the doctor has to say.

Catch-up pictures on the way...

Wednesday Mind Hump

1. What is your favorite place for delivered pizza?

Soprano's ... yes, it's in New Jersey and that's really the name

2. How often do you have pizza delivered at your house?

More than once a week, there's usually someone in the house ordering pizza

3. What toppings do you want on that pizza?

Extra cheese, maybe sausage or meatballs

4. Thick crust or thin?

Thick!

Room Nana & Other Stuff

Schools reopened for the first time since our ice storm of a couple of days ago. Tomas's class was supposed to have a Valentine's Day party Wednesday. I volunteered to be the room "nana" and was planning to bring in paper products and goodies for the parties. I wondered if the party would still go on and in elementary school, kids still come first! We all had a great time!

Of course, Tomas had a total meltdown. I wasn't too surprised having been through the preschool years 3 times already but Heidi (who didn't have any class and wanted to come along) was shocked. At first, T was very delighted to see us but his mood began to go south when he realized we weren't going home. Setting up for the party totally threw him. He didn't want to sit down at the table with everyone and Heidi was whispering, "What's wrong with him? Why is he in such a bad mood?" I said it's because his routine is different: we are there, they aren't doing what they usually do, and he can't handle it all. Heidi worried that somehow she'd set the little guy off but all the teachers reassured her that this is what kids do under these circumstances and it's perfectly normal.

Tomas didn't want to do the craft, either, and threw the picture frame on the floor. We spent about 10 minutes trying to get him to pick it up but he steadfastly refused. He wanted me to pick him up and hold him and I kept saying I would after he picked up the frame. Then I felt him falling asleep and scooped him up. It's okay, said the teacher. He didn't have a nap before and was tuckered out.

I learned that this the teacher's first job and that is cool. She is very motivated and has lots of good ideas to stimulate the kids.

Tomas is going through some other changes which are kinda normal but yet not. What I mean is, he wants to dress himself independently and I remember my kids' early attempts. The difference is that T will get upset about something and we don't always know what it is. Then he refuses to let anyone put a new diaper on him or he refuses to wear pants or a shirt ... Trial and error, I figure out that there are three different patterns on the diapers and he prefers one over the other two. He wants pants that snap and zip, not track pants or pants with elastic waistbands. Shirts cannot have buttons down the front or turtle necks.

The communication issue makes it very difficult. I didn't envy Linda the last couple of days. Since school was closed, it didn't matter how long it took for T to get dressed but boy! It sure was frustrating! The socks have to be just so on his feet, have to match, and cannot be colored. The velcro straps on his shoes have to be aligned just so.

As I watch all this happen or experience it for myself, I wonder to myself how much of this is typical 3 year old stuff and how much of it is PDD-related?

I'm really glad I posted about that useless book I read because I got a comment from someone with another title to try:
Pervasive Developmental Disorder: An Altered Perspective by Barbara Quinn and Anthony Malone. This is the next book I'm going to read.

First ride on the school bus!

Today was another special morning for Tomas! Yesterday he met his school bus driver and we talked about how he'd start going to and from school on the bus. He seemed really excited about it yesterday.

This morning, right on time, here comes the bus.

Tomas was totally delighted. I started taking pictures.

Linda was working a later shift today and so she was able to walk T to the bus. It worked out great because this way I could take pictures!

That came to an end when T realized he was actually supposed to get on the bus today. "Uh uh," he said. I helped Linda get Tomas buckled into his seat. He was NOT a happy little guy anymore but I'm happy to say that his bus driver called and said as soon as we were out of sight, he was fine. Also, his teacher called and let Linda know that he was all smiles when he got off the bus. Whew!!!!!

Since June Part III

Once we had a diagnosis for Tomas, we could get him registered into a full day preschool program through the school district. That seems a lot, doesn't it, for such a little guy? Well, the thing is that T needs constant stimulation speechwise and the school has the professionals to do it. During the day, he'd be interacting not only with his teachers but also with his classmates and he'd have speech therapy and occupational therapy too.

Meanwhile, Nancy was coming to our house twice a week throughout December and into the first or second week of January. A speech therapist was coming twice a month too. I enjoyed their visits about as much as Tomas did, I think, because I picked up a lot of good tips and advice. My throat was so dry at the end of a day of talking I'd want to practically guzzle a gallon of water.

In December, Kennan came back into Tomas's life. TB and I learned, to our great shame, that we weren't given the entire truth and that Kennan really wasn't the bad guy he was made out to be. I'm not saying he is perfect, no one is, but a lot of the stuff we were told just weren't true. I was really happy when Kennan and his mom came to the house to pick up Tomas. I was able to sit down and talk with them like I hadn't before but always wanted to. Since then, Kennan's been a frequent presence--especially when the teachers were here. He was also very helpful to us getting Tomas registered in time for his 3rd birthday.

Now Tomas is in a preschool about 10 minutes from our house. He started going on his birthday, February 1, and is adjusting to it just great. The teachers there are wonderful and there are five other children. He seems to be getting along with them very well. Although the kids don’t seem to speak to each other much, all five of these children talk to the adults and they speak quite well. When I went to visit, it was like being in a regular preschool room during circle time. Tomas will get individualized attention, speech therapy 2 times a week, occupational therapy and whatever else he needs.

When he started school, he was saying “yeah”, “hey”, “ha”, “aha”, “oho” and a variation of Heidi’s name. He was also making syllabic sounds in a rhythmic pattern, as if speaking in a conversation. I notice he’s been using his voice more and more. I am so happy!

There were some days when I didn’t know how I’d get through an entire day; I would be so exhausted from talking, crawling around on the floor, and playing with the little guy. I would go from 8:30 in the morning (around when his mom would leave for work) until 2:30 almost non-stop. By then Heidi or Kristin would be around to help and I would virtually collapse for an hour. Sometimes the little guy would sleep and that would be a big help so I could catch a breather. If he didn’t, though, the hours between 4 and 7:30 (when his mom would get home) would stretch out like a long road of dry highway. My throat would be dry and sore and my joints would ache. I’d wonder how long I could keep this up.

I look back now and you know what? It’s almost like a distant memory. It was worth it, every ache, every stab of pain in a muscle or joint, every rasping dry throat from all the talking. The little guy is doing great, he’s going to do so much better and it was worth every single moment!!!!

Since June Part III

Once we had a diagnosis for Tomas, we could get him registered into a full day preschool program through the school district. That seems a lot, doesn't it, for such a little guy? Well, the thing is that T needs constant stimulation speechwise and the school has the professionals to do it. During the day, he'd be interacting not only with his teachers but also with his classmates and he'd have speech therapy and occupational therapy too.

Meanwhile, Nancy was coming to our house twice a week throughout December and into the first or second week of January. A speech therapist was coming twice a month too. I enjoyed their visits about as much as Tomas did, I think, because I picked up a lot of good tips and advice. My throat was so dry at the end of a day of talking I'd want to practically guzzle a gallon of water.

In December, Kennan came back into Tomas's life. TB and I learned, to our great shame, that we weren't given the entire truth and that Kennan really wasn't the bad guy he was made out to be. I'm not saying he is perfect, no one is, but a lot of the stuff we were told just weren't true. I was really happy when Kennan and his mom came to the house to pick up Tomas. I was able to sit down and talk with them like I hadn't before but always wanted to. Since then, Kennan's been a frequent presence--especially when the teachers were here. He was also very helpful to us getting Tomas registered in time for his 3rd birthday.

Now Tomas is in a preschool about 10 minutes from our house. He started going on his birthday, February 1, and is adjusting to it just great. The teachers there are wonderful and there are five other children. He seems to be getting along with them very well. Although the kids don’t seem to speak to each other much, all five of these children talk to the adults and they speak quite well. When I went to visit, it was like being in a regular preschool room during circle time. Tomas will get individualized attention, speech therapy 2 times a week, occupational therapy and whatever else he needs.

When he started school, he was saying “yeah”, “hey”, “ha”, “aha”, “oho” and a variation of Heidi’s name. He was also making syllabic sounds in a rhythmic pattern, as if speaking in a conversation. I notice he’s been using his voice more and more. I am so happy!

There were some days when I didn’t know how I’d get through an entire day; I would be so exhausted from talking, crawling around on the floor, and playing with the little guy. I would go from 8:30 in the morning (around when his mom would leave for work) until 2:30 almost non-stop. By then Heidi or Kristin would be around to help and I would virtually collapse for an hour. Sometimes the little guy would sleep and that would be a big help so I could catch a breather. If he didn’t, though, the hours between 4 and 7:30 (when his mom would get home) would stretch out like a long road of dry highway. My throat would be dry and sore and my joints would ache. I’d wonder how long I could keep this up.

I look back now and you know what? It’s almost like a distant memory. It was worth it, every ache, every stab of pain in a muscle or joint, every rasping dry throat from all the talking. The little guy is doing great, he’s going to do so much better and it was worth every single moment!!!!

All Those Tests & Procedures...

When the team came from the early intervention program, they guessed that one reason Tomas wasn't talking was because he'd had so many ear infections he probably hadn't heard speech normally in a long time. That seemed plausible and that's what I suspected at first. I also thought that all the trauma of his early months might be having an affect on him.

I don't want to get into issues that will cause more hard feelings so I'm going to leave out the whys of some stuff and just say that T didn't get to his post-op appointment when it was originally scheduled. TB and I made an appointment with the surgeon in August. Poor Tomas--as soon as we got in the door, he put his hands over his ears and was very anxious. I can understand why! Lots of times he'd go to the doctor with an ear infection and he'd be in pain so that couldn't be fun! Also, his eardrum ruptured in May because of an infection and the doctor at the ER had to cauterize it--that must have been an awful experience too.

Happily, the surgeon looked at Tomas's ears and said they were fine, the tubes were still in place and there was no fluid. When we explained that Tomas wasn't talking, he thought it would be best to test the little guy's hearing. We scheduled another appointment but it didn't work out. Tomas didn't want to have anything to do with the booth and hadn't begun pointing to body parts (like eyes, ears, nose, mouth) yet and so the doctor said we'd have to take him to a pediatric audiologist.

TB and I took him twice. The first time, the audiologist was able to determine through a tympanic test that everything seemed to be working in the outer ear and we were happy to hear that. When we went into the booth, though, Tomas became very anxious. He cried and fought to get out, calming down when the audiologist brought in toys. The thing was, the little guy put on his blinders again and wouldn't respond to sounds. He'd look around sometimes when the audiologist talked to him. Then he began to hide his face. The audiologist suggested we wait 2 weeks and try again. Sometimes, he explained, the child's anxiety level goes down when he knows what to expect and then they're more successful...

Except that they weren't. If anything, the audiologist got less information from Tomas than before. His gut feeling, he told us, is that Tomas could hear but he couldn't document that based on the inconsistent responses. What's next? I asked. The audiologist said the only thing left would be an automatic brain stem response. Tomas would have to be anesthesized, there would be an IV involved...and I just shuddered. No way, I thought. I was convinced that Tomas could hear, too, but I didn't think he should be subjected to trauma like that.

After that second test, I called the early intervention program back and told the director what happened. I expressed my worry that Tomas had some autistic characteristics. She was a little taken aback by that but she said it was possible and the next step should be to have him evaluated by a pediatric psychologist or neurologist. She gave me a list of names and numbers.

Every single hospital program I called had a long waiting list for an initial appointment. The shortest was 7 months and the longest 18. I couldn't believe it! I called the audiologist and he gave me the name of a psychologist who'd been affiliated with Children's Hospital in Philadelphia (CHOP) but was now in private practive. Ah, much better luck there! I got an appointment for November. The one down side was that the practice did not accept any insurance. We'd have to pay $1200 in cash up front and hope to be reimbursed later. Linda had just started a new job and couldn't take time off and so Heidi and I drove T to Pennsylvania for the appointment.

Wow, was that ever an experience! Tomas was a happy little guy on the trip, had no problem going into the office and began playing with toys. The psychologist, a very kind and knowledgeable woman, talked to me for about a half hour and then I brought Tomas in. He carried in a little playhouse and readily sat down at the little table across from the doctor. He even smiled at her and made eye contact. Things went well until she took the house away and put the first test task (a picture book) on the table. He had a total meltdown and threw the book across the room. I got him calmed down and he did come back to the table but he absolutely refused to do any language tasks. Anytime the psychologist showed him a picture or tried to use the flip book, he pitched a gigantic fit! Puzzles were a different matter. He loves puzzles and did them quite readily. He even strung beads on a string, something I'd not seen him try before.

The psychologist said to me, I don't think he's autistic. He makes good eye contact, interacts with us, and seeks out our approval for tasks completed. Her theory was that something was wrong with his hearing. I told her about the failed audiological exams and she strongly urged me to get him scheduled for that automatic brain stem response. She didn't feel comfortable making a diagnosis until she knew the results of that test because the services he qualified for would be approached in such a different manner if he was hard of hearing. I asked, what if his hearing is normal? She said she didn't think that would be the case but if so, T's delays might be emotionally based.

We got an appointment for this ABR test at CHOP for the day before Thanksgiving! That was a total nightmare. This time, Linda took the day off to come with us because the procedure was so much more complicated and involved anesthesia. You would think that being a hospital specifically for children would mean that the place would be warm, friendly and comforting. It was, sort of, except from the child-friendly waiting area we had to go to 3 different areas for one test after the other. Tomas was tired and frustratred by the time we were led back to the outpatient surgical unit. We were assigned a stark, cold room. Although Tomas was given a sedative to help calm him, when the folks came in to hook up the IV and administer the anesthesia, he began to fight like a small tiger. With six people holding him down, it took 3 big doses of anesthesia to get him under completely.

The audiologist came in after he'd fallen asleep and did the test. His hearing is perfectly fine and in the normal range.

Afterwards, the staff seemed in a hurry to get us out of there. As heavily doped up as Tomas was, they wanted him waking up after an hour--and they didn't want to take out the IV. Well, the little guy sat up abruptly, didn't recognize Heidi or me (Linda had gone out for a smoke, the first time she'd left the room since the ordeal began) and began trying to tear the IV out of his hand.

Clearly, Tomas wasn't able to walk and whenever Linda tried to carry him, he'd begin fighting and thrashing. A nurse said, this is normal, it's the anesthesia wearing off. She wanted to show Linda how to restrain Tomas and carry him out--but we thought it would be better if Tomas rested longer. I guess the insurance company must have a limit or something on how long you can stay in the room because the nurses were just determined we should go.

Tomas screamed for 20 minutes and then fell back asleep. It was one of the worst experiences I've had. The only good to come out of it was that we knew for sure that Tomas's hearing was fine.

But now what?

The school district preschool team came to the house to evaluate Tomas the end of November. I gave their psychologist a copy of the doctor's report (from PA) and she took it. Still, they tried to evaluate Tomas on the same things...and had the same results. He'd do the puzzles and toss the ball but anytime they tried to get him to get him to do a language task he'd pitch a fit. That team told me candidly that they felt T was, indeed, on the autistic spectrum and that he'd be placed in a preschool classroom with other children who have pervasive developmental disorder.

Ah well. I'd been suspecting so for a long time.

There was one more test after that, in January, and this time with a pediatrician specializing in developmental disorders and other special needs. He barely looked at Tomas, just going with the answers he got from parents Linda and Kennan. He diagnosed Tomas with pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified.

More later.

Since June...Part II

Once Linda gave her permission, a team from the early childhood intervention program at the hospital was able to come out and evaluate Tomas. They made observations mostly although they did ask Tomas to do some tasks. I noticed that he mostly ignored them at first. It was as if he put on blinders and turned his hearing off. At that point, it was hard to know if he was having residual hearing problems or not. When he did engage, he was so sweet and made lots of eye contact.

The team found Tomas eligible for services based on the fact that he wasn’t speaking. They also found delays in socialization skills and cognitive skills, especially since he was stuck on one type of play. He could use any toy to play this way, blocks, cars, it didn’t matter. What he would do is slide two objects open and closed and have a third pass between. After a while, TB figured out that he was mimicking automatic doors, like those at the grocery store. Those doors were a big issue—we’d go shopping and the little guy would get “stuck” at those doors. He wouldn’t want to leave them and he’d pitch a screaming tantrum when we had to move him. He would also actively resist us, TB and me, whenever we'd try to change the game. I'd build with blocks and he would scream and knock them down. He didn't want to build, he wanted to play the doors game.

The team explained what would happen next. The family would meet with members of the early intervention program and we'd come up with an individualized family service plan (IFSP). I was an interpreter in a school district for many years and so I knew this was the precursor to the individualized education plan (IEP) used for school age children to determine their needs, how to meet them, and to set goals so they could achieve. The nice thing about the infant-3 program was that the providers would come right to our house. Also the providers would be able to work with all of us and teach us how to best help Tomas. We also learned that as soon as Tomas turned 3, he'd no longer be eligible but could get into a preschool program with the school district. At the meeting, the team decided to send a teacher for Tomas twice a week and a speech therapist once every 2 weeks.

I would have preferred he get more services but hey, we'd take what we could get.

The team evaluators came in August, the meeting was in September, and services began in October.

Meanwhile, I'd done some reading up on autism and although I didn't think that was what was happening with Tomas, I had a nagging feeling that was part of it. I was signing with him but he wasn't responding. When we'd watch a TV program together, it would be "Go Diego Go" or "Dora the Explorer" or "Blue's Clues" which is interactive. And I would participate. Sometimes he didn't mind but other times he'd yell at me.

Our grandchildren from Tennessee came to visit and we were taking them places. Right away I could see that Tomas disliked Chuck E. Cheese and all the noise and commotion. He refused to try any of the rides and the only thing he seemed to enjoy was a slide in the infant section. If we went to the playground, Tomas didn't want to go on any of the equipment. He had a sort of parade route he wanted you to follow. He didn't want to get in the kiddie pool with his cousins and didn't want to go into the sandbox. He did enjoy playing with his cousin Taylor--our granddaughter is the closest to him in age.

What a dramatic improvement once the teacher began coming to the house! Nancy is a retired preschool teacher and she started out coming once a week while the program tried to find a second teacher. Nancy was scheduled the rest of the time with other kids but when December rolled around and there still wasn't a second teacher, I asked if she could come twice a week once one of her other kids "aged out". At first Tomas ignored Nancy but after a couple of sessions, he began to warm up to her.

By the time the holidays rolled around, Tomas was pointing at objects, was moving to music, somewhat interacting with “Go, Diego, Go” (the shows have the child get up and point at objects on the TV, etc) and was making some sounds that could be "yeah" and "hey". I was doing a lot of the modeling for that behavior because Linda and TB were at work and the kids were in school. Tomas would copy things if I did them first and he’d make eye contact and clap for himself. Nancy was very happy with all that and so were we!

Next: More tests for Tomas to determine a more accurate diagnosis

Since June...Part 1

Now I finally feel I can talk about what’s been going on all these months.

When we first began to visit with Tomas again over a year ago, we were kind of concerned that he wasn’t talking. He also was very reserved with us but I thought that was from the long separation. After all, he’d been through a lot emotionally and although I was hurt that he didn’t seem to remember our closeness from before I tried to understand.

The talking thing…that’s something else. Tomas had frequent ear infections during the time he lived away from us. Linda told us the doctor said his ears were filled with fluid and that’s why he couldn’t talk…because he couldn’t hear. Well, I have a nephew who had a lot of ear infections like that as a toddler and it’s true the hearing becomes impaired. Sean had tubes placed into his ears—what about tubes for Tomas? I guess they couldn’t do that until the infections cleared up and this just dragged on and on and on throughout the winter and into the spring.

Now T was over 2 years old and could not communicate with us. He would look at what he wanted and we’d try and guess what it was. If we didn’t guess right he’d become frustrated and start to tantrum. He would have some mighty tantrums, too, throwing himself against the wall and onto the floor. Now, I would have thought he would try to gesture or point to what he wanted or grab our hands but he seemed to avoid any other attempt to communicate with him. Meantime we were hearing some horror stories about what might be happening at the dad’s house and we were very worried about that.

By the time Linda brought T to live with us, he’d had tubes placed into his ears and the fluid drained away. Still…no words forthcoming, no attempts to communicate and although he could be very loving and affectionate he was also very withdrawn, rigid in his play and routines, and seemingly distrustful. I began to think, if it’s not his hearing that is keeping him from speaking obviously there’s something else going on. Could it be autism?

During this time, there was no contact with the dad. I wanted to call him but was nervous about it because of the way Linda had described him…that he hated us and wanted nothing to do with us. She said he never called her to see how his son was doing and so I wondered if he cared what was going on? Still, I often wondered what he thought about his son’s reluctance to communicate.

Over the summer, as Tomas became more used to us he became more outwardly friendly although he was still very reserved and sometimes unemotional. It was like he was wearing blinders sometimes or deaf/blind to what was going on. Communication wasn’t much better but the intensity of the tantrums decreased...

I contacted early childhood intervention programs and most were unable to act without Linda calling to make the initial request. However, I did finally get in touch with a program at a hospital that could take intake information from me. They still needed Linda to call to send an evaluation team so when she got home from work I gave her the phone and the phone number and she called.

Balancing Act

What Kind of Mom Are You?"

"Kids First Mom"

The results of The Balancing Act indicate that you are a "Kids First Mom." You are the type of mom that chooses to be very involved in your children's life and development. Although you want your children to be independent, you like to have an active role in the decisions and choices your children make. You enjoy planning activities for them to do alone or for you to share. You carefully monitor their choice of TV shows, friends, and extracurricular activities. You are the type of mom that is likely to be homeroom mother, scout leader, Sunday school teacher, or PTA president. You love to be involved all aspects of your children's life, and they love all of the fun you have together! You enjoying running them from practice to practice, fixing their lunches, and being there to welcome them off the bus when they get home from school.

Your children are the most important thing in your life. You are the type of Mom that regardless of whether or not you currently work, you would probably rather be home and a homemaker. You would be happiest being at home, spending all of your time with your children and nurturing your family. You realize that staying home may have some monetary sacrifices attached, but it would be worth it to you.

However, putting your children first can have some negative consequences. If you choose not to work, you may not have the monetary means to provide your children with certain extras like sports, dancing lessons, or scouts. Also if you are the type of mom who becomes so involved in spending so much time with her children, when your child begins to be independent, you may develop the "Who am I?" syndrome. Without your children being the center of your attention, you may have to struggle to regain your identity as a person.

Children of "Kids First" Moms are often very secure and more willing to take risks because they know they have the support of their parents behind them. They often get excellent grades in school because mom is always there to help them study or get their homework done. You really enjoy knowing what they are learning at school. Best of all -- your children are proud you are there and care so much!

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There are many resources geared to Kid's First Moms who have younger children. Younger children love being with you, and doing things with you. Children as young as 20 months can "help" pick up toys, clean cabinets, etc. Simple, educational, and fun activities are plentiful on both the Internet, and in bookstores. Other ideas include: libraries, museums, etc., that often have "story times" providing interaction for your child with other children, and also some adult interaction for you. Once your child reaches 2, there are many "Mother's Day-Out" programs that for one-three days a week for several hours, provide both interaction with other children, and a break for you.

Pre-Schoolers are also interested in being with you. As their world expands, so can the activities that you enjoy together. They can be of even more help to you around the house, Children as young as 4 can make up a bed, help with vacuuming the house, etc. There are also online activities and educational software available from approximately 3 and up. Preschoolers love crafts of all kinds, "making things", etc. Again, libraries, museums, etc., offer many programs geared to pre-schooler age, and are a great source of education and interaction with others.

Early school-aged children, while not at home with you all day any longer, also need your help and support. The habits you help them establish in their early school years will be appreciated throughout all their school years. This age child needs structure. Many kids find a well-established routine after school helpful to them. During summer months, a routine of a different nature is usually necessary and helps to ensure a "happier" summer.

These books were selected for your particular type and for excellent resources in general to help you be a better Mom. You can order them online through Online Psych and Amazon.com with complete security. Click on the title for more information (and often reviews of the book):

All Mothers Work: A Guilt Free Guide for the Stay at Home Mom, by Cindy Ramming

20 Teachable Virtues: Practical Ways to Pass on Lessons of Virtue and Character to Your Children, by Barbara C. Unell, Jerry L. Wyckoff

1001 Things to Do With Your Kids,by Caryl Waller Krueger

1001 More Things to Do With Your Kids, by Caryl Waller Krueger

Parenting A to Z : A Guide to Everything from Conception to College, by Irene M. Franck, David M. Brownstone

Parenting With Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility, by Jim Fay, Foster W.

Parenting For Dummies-- the manual that we all wish our kids would have come with!, by Sandra Harding Gookin

Mom! He Hit Me: What to Do About Sibling Rivalry, by Elaine K. McEwan

Solving School Problems: Kindergarten Through Middle School by Elaine K. McEwan

So Much Stuff Going On, So Little Time To Post

We've been very busy! Here are some photo highlights from December...click on the picture for the full album!

Here's a picture of Kristin playing the sax along with other members of the band in her high school's holiday concert.

This is a shot from our Christmas Day photo album.

This is the one picture I got of Kristin just before we left for her Princeton trip. She participated in a 4 day conference, the National Young Leaders' State Conference, and she sure got a lot out of it! She made new friends and learned a lot of valuable skills

This is Kristin's birthday cake ... and I really like the fact that she's very much an individual.

Happy Birthday Kristin!

This is for my "baby" who is 15 today!

In 1992 (the year you were born)

George H.W. Bush is president of the US Hurricane "Andrew" becomes the most costly in US history with $20 billion worth of damage Arkansas Governor Bill Clinton is elected President of the United States Riots break out in Los Angeles after police are acquitted in the Rodney King case An "Earth Summit" is held in Brazil to address global environmental problems Jay Leno replaces Johnny Carson as host of the Tonight Show on NBC George H. W. Bush becomes ill on a visit in Japan and vomits on the Japanese Prime Minister Mike Tyson goes on trial charged with raping a 1991 Miss Black America Contest contestant Amy Fisher, the "Long Island Lolita," is arrested for shooting Mary Jo Buttafuoco on the front porch of her home Toronto Blue Jays win the World Series Washington Redskins win Superbowl XXVI Pisstburgh Penguins win the Stanley Cup Aladdin is the top grossing film "End of the Road" by Boyz II Men spends the most time at the top of the US charts Mad About You and The Real World premiere Sailor Moon premieres on TV Asahi in Japan

Cute

Moody Monday 's challenge this week is "cute". Who is cuter than our Tomas?

Happy Birthday to my TB

Okay, I would love to claim credit for this but I am just not a poet...but it does express my feelings! Happy birthday, sweetheart!

Merry Christmas!

Christmas Eve and the tree is dressed!

Even though the weather outside is balmy and I wish we had some good snow like the Genuine family, we still managed to get into the Christmas spirit. Kristin decorated our tree and Billy and I watched A Miracle on 34th Street.

It's never too late to start making Christmas cookies either.

To see all the pictures in our Christmas 2006 album so far, click here.

We Have Lights!

Oh boy! For the first time in years, we have lights on our house and in our yard!!!!!

I have always been a little kid about decorating the house for Christmas. The year before Rich died was the first time I think we didn't string lights all over and that was because it was just too difficult for him. I couldn't do it either with my physical limitations ... so we did just the inside of the house. After he passed, I just didn't want to that first Christmas. When TB and I got married, I thought to do up the house then but we had a shortage of outlets, were involved in blending our families (no easy matter), and it just seemed easier to just do the inside. Then TB got hurt and I just put outside lights out of my head until this year and ...

Voila! Click the picture to see the other shots in our Christmas lights album.

Also check out TB's entry.

Today is also special in that it's Oma's birthday. She is 96 years old today, God bless her!

One very special little boy...

...who is very much loved by his mommy, daddy, both sets of grandparents and both sets of extended family: aunts, uncles, cousins and so on!

Why No Regular Updates

I haven't been able to post as regularly as I used to for good reason: I have a very important job right now. I don't make any money at it but it's as rewarding as the one I had when my kids were little. When our Little T moved back in with his mom over the summer, he'd just had ear tubes put in. He'd suffered frequentl ear infections that left his ears full of fluid and we figured that's why he'd stopped talking...he couldn't hear.

At the end of summer, he still wasn't talking and so we figured we needed more help before T fell too far behind. All the states have programs to work with infants and toddlers who are delayed and so a team of really nice people came to visit and observe. That led to recommendations for more tests to figure out what's going on--or at the very least, rule out what's not.

So what we've learned so far is that T's vision is great, his tubes are still in place and working just fine, and that his hearing is within normal limits. Is he not speaking because the temporary but prolonged hearing impairment caused him not to develop the muscles he needs to make consonant sounds and so on? Maybe...

Could it be he is on the autistic spectrum? Could be...the specialists note some behaviors that indicate it.

Could it be something else? Yes...It's a mystery that's still being puzzled out.

In the meantime, though, there is a teacher and speech therapist who've been coming out to work with him and teach me how to encourage speech and communication. I say me because Linda and TB are both working now and I watch, care for and play with T during the day. This is the job I was speaking of, although I wouldn't really call it work. I love Tomas, we all do, and he is a joy and blessing to us. I love taking him places as well as just hanging out and interacting with some of the shows he loves to watch, like "Dora the Explorer", "Go Diego Go" and "Blue's Clues".

All of the things the teacher and therapist have suggested to me (and that I pass on to Linda and the rest of the family) have been really helpful! For instance, they were the ones who said to go ahead and respond to the shows on Noggin even if T doesn't. So we did and then we noticed that T began to respond as well! T does make some sounds and now he is pointing and using a couple of signs. He gets so excited when he gets his meaning across and we do too!

Yay!

Everyone says he is such a sweet and adorable little guy. He sure is!

Anyway, that's why I don't update much anymore. That's okay...I'll be back again regularly one of these days!

Backwards Update: Picking Pumpkins

The first Saturday of this month was absolutely gorgeous. It was a perfect day to go to a local farm and pick some pumpkins and go for a hayride! Tomas really got into the pumpkin picking part. He wasn't so sure about the hayride at first but I think he enjoyed it once we got underway. By the time we got back, he was definitely smiling--maybe from relief? Anyway, we all had a wonderful time!

For more pictures, click here.

Backwards Update: Trip to Troy

So much has been happening in the past couple of weeks it seemed silly to go way back there and move forward because I just don't remember as much. This past weekend, Ted, his mom, the girls and I went up to Troy to visit Billy. It was a great weekend to go--the weather was just right and the fall colors were lovely! There was a festival going on at the time so we got to see a juggler and some animals. Most important, we got to spend the day with Billy, got a couple of things for his efficiency to give him more room (a bookcase & computer desk with shelves), and did a little local sightseeing. It was wonderful!

To see more photos from our trip, click here.

Heidi Is 18

Actually, Heidi's birthday was on Tuesday but life was too hectic at the time to post about it. We took her to TGIFriday's for dinner and although she doesn't like a fuss to be made over her, she still seemed kind of pleased when our waiter and the other staff came over to noisily wish her a happy birthday!

Gosh, all my babies are growing up! Billy and Heidi are both "adults" now and Kristin isn't too far behind!

Back to School Pt. 3

Our Kristin started high school on Thursday! She suffers the curse of the younger sibling--she has teachers who remember Billy and Heidi! Another friend of hers has the same "problem". Also, it seems all the seniors remember Billy as "the kid who did karate during lunch time". I guess it's not a bad rep to have.

When the older kids went to the high school, the schedule was in the regular 8-classes-a-day format. Kristin has block scheduling. All her core classes--English, Math, Science and Social Studies are in 2 period blocks and alternate during the week. On A days, she has two of the classes and on B days she has the other two. She doesn't like it--the class time drags too much. I'm not sure what I think of it. She has health, Band (still jazzing it up on the sax!), German, and lunch every day which makes for a nice routine.

Kristin likes school so far--she is in core classes with almost all her friends and each period she has several friends. Billy and Heidi always seemed to be scheduled away from their friends so this is going to be a good year for Kristin!

She is a really cool kid and we are very proud of her.

Back to School Pt.2/More Mystery Thrillers

Today Heidi started classes at the community college. It's such a dreary day I didn't take any pictures. Sorry, kiddo--she doesn't really like to have her picture taken. On Friday, she's going to make an attempt at passing the written driving test and then we can get her lessons on the road. Soon she'll be able to drive the car she bought from Gram! Today she's got a math class--that's it. Not too bad.

I was so happy to hear from my cousin Anne. She and her husband Gil came down from Long Island to NJ so that she could attend a company conference. They arrived the day before and so TB and I met them for dinner. We had such a wonderful time. I was glad to see them again--the last time was right before I married TB so it's been more than 4 years! We're planning to go up to LI to visit them in October--after Parents weekend at RPI.

I've been so busy it's been hard to find time to read, never mind write, but I did manage to finish 3 good books recently. This summer, I wanted to keep it all "light" and so I've been reading mysteries and thrillers. I enjoyed Cabinet of Curiosities so much I decided to go back and read all of Douglas Preston & Lincoln Child's books featuring the charmingly weird Detective Pendergast. The very first one was Relic and I was not disappointed, although Pendergast was a secondary character in this one. Still, I found myself turning the pages and reluctant to put the book down until the end. What a twist--I was expecting some kind of weirdness with the killer character but certainly not what happened! A very good read.

Next, I read Life Expectancy by Dean Koontz. He is another favorite of mine because of the frequent twists and turns he takes and because of his wacky humor. This was an absolutely amazing story of two families intertwined together in a series of predictions made by a dying grandfather. Well, it was really hard to keep up with all the twists in the book but I was determined to do it because it was so good. I spent a lot of time laughing. This is a great book for someone to read who is always waiting for the other shoe to drop...that is, someone who wonders what bad thing is around the corner even when things are going well. It's a good book to read if you've got a family member with an illness and you're just not sure what's going to happen or when. I've read a review that says it's a good book to read to teach you how to cope with unexpected tragic events like 9/11--well, I don't know about that. All I know is, it's a great book. Read it!

Lastly, I read Dr. Death by Jonathan Kellerman. I'm not all that fond of the Dr. Alex Delaware character but I have several of these group of books through Paperback Swap. I'm going to read them and then pass them along. They've been just so-so, not so terrible I'm going to put it down but not so great that they'll be stories to remember. In this one, the mystery surround the murder of a doctor who's been notorious for "euthanizing" his patients--kind of a fictional Kevorkian. It turns out an obscure, never seen serial killer is the culprit and I just sort of shrugged. So it goes.

Two out of three ain't bad.

Back To School Pt. One

TB and I drove Billy back to Troy last Wednesday and today was his first day of classes. I was impressed with his efficiency apartment--he's got so much more room than he had last year!

His building isn't terribly far from his classes or from shopping. He can walk, bike or take the bus. I remember I had an efficiency in Baltimore City when I was his age and it's nice to have your own space like that. One of his roommates last year was a frequent drinker and often came in while Billy was trying to sleep. Now Billy can keep his own hours, make his own meals and go about his business. He's met some of the folks in his building--one is a foreign exchange student from Italy. Here's hoping Billy has a wonderful year!

For more pictures, go to Billy's Apartment.

Garden State Museum

What a great place to take a kid--actually, kids of all ages. TB, Heidi, Kristin and I took T to this museum yesterday and it was so much fun I think it would be well worth it to get a family membership and come back again and again!

Children's Museum

Another Chaotic Month

There have been ups and downs all month, lots of stuff going on. Tomas and Linda are living with us, part time at first and now full time. Linda's got a job and so TB and I are watching our little T when she's away. We've been to lots of places and had lots of fun and probably the best I can do is post a couple of pictures and links to the pictures in our gallery:

We went to Adventure Aquarium again last week and had another wondeful time. I know TB's been longing to tour the Battleship New Jersey and so we got combo tickets. What an impressive ship! Pictures from that day are in this album:
Day Trip

Kristin got a pair of bunnies from her best friend. She and TB worked together on building a hutch for them and then she painted it so they'd have a nice home. She did a great job--got all paint spattered!

I've been uploading albums whenever I had some spare time and here are the links for the most recent ones:

Cape May Zoo Visit

Cape May Lighthouse Visit

Natural Bridge, Virginia

Smithsonian Air & Space Museum">

Family Party

It's been a hectic couple of weeks! It's hard to believe it's been almost 2 weeks since Michele and David visited and left Brandon, Ryan and Taylor to visit with us. We started off with a party TB's mom held in honor of his brother Jon and bride Karen.

TB was the official photographer and here is a picture of the guests of honor:

Karen and Jon are pictured here with her son from a first marriage, Cody. Jon has two sons from a previous marriage, Kyle and Jonathan. This is the first time I met Jon and the first time he's been back in NJ in a long time.

Nikolas and Michele

David

Brandon & Ryan

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Taylor

Linda and Tomas

TB's brother Tim and wife, Ana

TB's nephew Tim with his new bride, Alicia

TB's neice Julie and her son Nicholai. He's a few weeks younger than our Little T.

Niece Heather, who just graduated from high school too

Our sister-in-law Kim and two daughters Amanda and Amber. Kim is married to TB's youngest brother, Jeff.

Amanda, Kim and Jeff

Billy and Tomas

Kristin enjoys posing for pictures

TB's one and only sis, Pam

Mike, Pam, Linda and Alex

Cousins Amber and Alex. Alex is Pam's son

TB's cousin Joan

Gram's cousin Curt and wife Carol

We all had a great time! Unfortunately, Heidi had to work and TB's brother Chris and family were unable to attend because of a previous commitment.

I have more pictures to post of all the fun and be sure to check out Nana & Pop-Pop's House for more pictures of the grandkiddies!

Hot Fun In The Summertime

Michele, David and the kids are somewhere in Pennsylvania and will be arriving either around midnight or sometime tomorrow morning, depending on if they stop somewhere for the night.

So it's going to be busy busy busy for the next several weeks and, it seems, hot hot hot! Hopefully the weather will cooperate, the money will last and we'll all have fun fun fun till vacation time is over.

I don't know when I'll get a chance to post again. Here's my thoughts as of this moment:

Sly & The Family Stone
Hot Fun In The Summertime

(Sylvester Stewart (aka Sly Stone))
[All:] End of the spring and here she comes back
Hi Hi Hi Hi there
Them summer days, those summer days

That's when I had most of my fun, back
high high high high there
Them summer days, those summer days

[Rose:] I "cloud nine" when I want to

[Freddie:] Out of school, yeah

[Larry:] County fair in the country sun

[Sly:] And everything, it's true, ooh yeah

[All:] Hot fun in the summertime x 4

[All:] First of the fall and then she goes back
Bye bye bye bye there
Them summer days, those summer days

[Rose:] "Boop-boop-ba-boop-boop" when I want to

[Freddie:] Out of school, yeah

[Larry:] County fair in the country sun

[Sly:] And everything, it's true, ooh yeah

[All:] Hot fun in the summertime x 4

The Graduates: 12th Grade

Here comes the graduating high school class of 2006!

Here's our graduate!

The graduates take their seats. The boys sat on the opposite side of the field. I'm not sure why they separated the boys and girls. Alternating green and white gowns would have looked cool!

This is one of Heidi's closest friends. Her mom made a lei to go around her neck. I think the family is originally from Hawaii but I'm not sure. The mom did tell me it's a Hawaiian tradition. I'm glad the stuffy administrators allowed her to wear it, it looked cool!

We got better pictures at this graduation and it was definitely easier to sit through it!

There goes the rolls of toilet paper!

The graduates file off the field. See Heidi? She's in the center, just behind the tall African American student.

Things were so hectic we didn't get any family pictures but TB did get this worthy shot to the end of the day.

The Graduates: 8th Grade

Kristin and 3 of her friends won the Presidential Academic Award for Excellence. All four kids gave short speeches. TB knew Kristin was writing a speech but had no idea what it was for. This was a very pleasant surprise for us!

These kids won the principal's award. Good for you three! :)

The chorus sang "You'll Never Walk Alone" and it became pretty emotional for the graduates and their teacher.

Unfortunately, none of the pictures of Kristin or her friends getting their diplomas came out. :(

Kristin and some of her friends right after graduation. Two or three of the kids weren't around to be in the picture--they were looking for parents or had to leave.

Kristin's having a small get together tomorrow with her friends as one of them is leaving for the west coast for the summer.

Way to go, Class of 2006 from the junior high!

Later: high school graduation

Graduation Daze

Yesterday surely was a day to remember for us! We had two graduation ceremonies to attend with one daughter graduating high school and the other graduating junior high!

The highpoints: the pride in watching the girls graduate with honors and awards. Heidi wore a gold cord with her gown indicating her B-plus GPA. Kristin won just about every award given out at her ceremony. We are so proud of them both!

Everyone was so excited and happy and everyone looked "spiffy"!

The lowpoints:

Kristin's graduation was held at the community college gym and we all had to sit on bleachers for 3-4 hours, depending on what time we arrived. Why the gym and not a comfortable auditorium? There was a speaker from Ft. Dix who quoted extensively from some obscure colonel's memoirs about making a charge at the battle of Gettysburg--this at an 8th grade commencement?

We had passing showers all afternoon. The high school commencement was supposed to be held at the middle school football field--I don't get that at all if it was sunny. If it was raining, graduation would take place at the community college. At 4:30 the superintendent was supposed to make a decision and it was to be posted on the education channel--but it wasn't. Several of us weren't sure where we were supposed to go so we went first to the community college--and it wasn't there. Heidi was pretty upset at the chaos but I think it was a little better because her friends' families were going around in circles too. It wasn't just us. Anyway, we all made it to the middle school and not a drop of rain fell thankfully. Meanwhile, at home just 10 miles away the power went out in a storm. Go figure.

Here's our view of the field for Heidi's graduation. I am so glad that it ended up being outside! I don't think I could have endured any more sitting on the bleachers. TB and I brought our folding chairs (nice soft canvas), plenty of drinking water and his camera. We watched with the family of one of Heidi's closest friends throughout high school.

More pictures coming up!

8th Grade Formal

What a busy month! We have two kids graduating from schools this year: Heidi is a senior, graduating high school and Kristin is moving on up from junior high. The 8th grade class has a formal at the school last Friday and Kristin was escorted by one of her good friends, Ryan. Ryan's mother and TB must have snapped 2 dozen pictures before the kids were able to get away and enjoy the party!

I'm not sure what this was about, but she sure is expressive isn't she?

Ryan arrives with corsage...

After much papparazza-ing, they finally manage to get out the door, into the car and off they go to the dance. We went to pick Kristin up when the evening was over and everyone had had a wonderful time!

By the way, Linda fixed Kristin's hair, isn't it pretty?

Prom

Another event filled day! I picked Heidi up just before noon and took her to have her hair done for her prom. She didn't want an "updo" and decided she would have her hair cut a little in front and the curls ironed out. Well...Heidi's hair doesn't want to be straight! Still, she looked so pretty!

Click on the extended entry for more pictures!

Heidi's corsage

Getting ready for the prom, she endured having her picture taken. She doesn't like it but knew this was a special occasion and so she didn't complain! :)

Seven of the 12 kids going together posed for pictures. The other 5 were somewhere in the house, getting dressed or hiding from the parental photographers.

Check out the prom coach! The dozen friends split the cost of this luxurious limo.

My baby's off to enjoy her prom. Have a wonderful time, dear Heidi!

Awards Night

Kristin's school presented awards to the students this evening. In spite of the heat in the auditorium (why aren't un-air conditioned schools better ventilated???) we had a great time. Kristin got to sit with most of her friends--although she was going up to the stage more times than she was sitting! She got so many awards and pins we just about lost count. We are so proud of her! Some of the pictures from this evening:

It wasn't easy for TB to take pictures because we were sitting all the way in the back and the lighting in the auditorium was off. Kristin is hugging one of her favorite teachers who is retiring this year.

Kristin got awards for her participation in Model Congress, ROGATE, the student council, drama, honor roll, Teen Arts...and one that was a complete surprise but big honor was for most improved in band. She started learning the saxophone in September and did so well she was performing with the band within just a few months.

"For those of you who are going to rock on, we salute you!" I think that's what they said...

Afterwards, we got the friends together to pose for some pictures.

These are some of the best days of their lives! Rock on, kids!

We went to the Aquarium...

...and it was great, so much fun! It was just really really expensive! The original plan on Saturday was to take T to a local farm and do some strawberry picking but it got too hot quickly. My Plan B was a children's museum in Cherry Hill but since Kristin was with us, it ocurred to me we might all enjoy a trip to the aquarium. I think Tomas was a little nervous in the darker hallways but I must say he loved the shark tunnel!

He reached out several times as if he was going to try and touch the fish and sharks that swam by.

I think Kristin loved watching the sharks most of all as well.

TB's camera did a great job taking pictures! Here are some more:

Cool looking crab!

I don't know if this is clear enough to see, but this is a dragon fish--it looks like it could breathe fire and yet is so tiny!

I wasn't able to get up close and look at the octopus because there were a lot of pushy people there who didn't take much notice of a small child in a stroller, drat the inconsiderates. Well, TB's picture is pretty cool.

Here's one of the sharks that went right over our heads in the tunnel. Tomas' eyes were huge! I thought the tunnel might frighten him but I am so glad that he enjoyed it most of all.

Little T did not like the hippos, though. Or...maybe it was all the people trying to get in to snap a picture of it. I was pretty amazed at how gracefully it was swimming.

We stopped halfway through to get some lunch. TB took several cute pictures of Tomas' changing facial expressions. In this one, he seems to be saying, hey, what are you taking my picture for? I'm not a sea creature!

We sure had a great time!

Catch-Up Pictures

May has been a busy and eventful month and isn't over yet! I thought I'd share pictures we've been taking.

Here is Kristin enjoying her new guitar. I have a similar picture of me taken years and years ago, almost the same pose!

I'm not sure who took this picture of Heidi but I like it!

Here's Billy on his way to his interview at Radio Shack--he got the job and seems to like it very much. He looks very spiffy all dressed up!

Tomas and Linda came for a visit a couple of weeks ago. It was a beautiful day and we decided to go to a park at our lake. There's a little beach there and a toddler sized playground. Tomas wasn't too sure about it all at first but ended up loving the slide!

Goodbye Dear Terri

This evening I got a call from my first mother-in-law, Alberta, who gave us the very sad news that Rich's Aunt Terri passed away after a long battle with cancer this afternoon. She'd been fighting cancer in one form or another since 1987.

Terri was an angel on earth. She was one of the most kind and loving people it's been my privilege to know. In spite of the pain she was in and in spite of the misery of the side effects she suffered, I never heard her complain--ever. She was always smiling and always positive.

There was just one period of time when I remember she felt otherwise. After Rich died--and it will be 5 years next week--she'd wonder why she continued to live when he was so young and still had so much to live for. Those first few months, we cried together often. Sometimes she would say to me, here I am trying to comfort you and you end up comforting me.

I admired her for her spirit and loved her for her sweetness and loving acts toward everyone. I will miss her so much but I know that she and Rich and her parents and their other loved ones are together in heaven and will be there for us when we get there.

This is the last picture I have of Terri, taken at Billy's high school graduation party last year.

First Place!

Heidi's sculpture won first place in a competition called "Clay In Mind"! That girl is gifted! Her piece will be displayed somewhere in Philly (we'll find out where from the teacher) and she and her teacher won places in a 2 day art workshop. Woooohooo!

I'd say more but I'm sick with something, was running a fever off and on yesterday. I feel a little bit better today but I thinkthe fever's coming back. Anyway, I had a doctor's appt scheduled for this morning anyway so maybe she can tell me what's wrong with me.

Good News!

I wasn't here to get all this directly but I am happy today because Tomas's ear is better, the laceration is healed! He will have another visit with the doctor soon. We're praying that his hearing will be fine!

And...we might--hopefully yes!-- will have 3 of our grandchildren for a week or two this summer!

Feel Better, Little T

We were so happy to see Tomas, as always, on Saturday but were sad to hear that he suffered a lacerated ear drum--otitis media with perforation is the technical term, I guess. Has his hearing been affected? I wondered because he doesn't talk much and doesn't always respond to sound. Linda is taking him to the doctor next week and we'll surely find out some more then. Here is a rare picture of TB and Tomas together--usually TB is holding the camera!!!

Portfolio Presentation

I'm sure Heidi is so relieved to have her portfolio presentation out of the way! We were up early this morning to drop Kristin off at a friend's and then drive on into Philadelphia to the University of the Arts. That was a real exercise in confusion! It turns out that TB doesn't like Philly very much and is totally uncomfortable driving around there. After going in a couple of circles and in the wrong direction for about a half hour, we finally got ourselves righted and arrived in time for the tours.

U-Arts is located in Center City, very close to City Hall and on the Avenue of the Arts. There's a lot to see and do right in those few blocks around the school. The school itself is made up of older buildings but I have to say I was very impressed when I toured the residence halls. The rooms are either very large studios or small 1 bedroom apartments and they all come with kitchenettes and private baths! The windows are huge and make the rooms bright and airy. I didn't go on the tour of the classrooms because I wouldn't be able to manage all the flights of stairs with my foot. Heidi enjoyed looking at all the different studios.

Her presentation was at noon and she'd brought along a dozen or so pieces to show. I thought she might be facing a whole committee but it was just one single person, a woman, and I thought that would make things a lot easier for Heidi. After about a half hour, TB and I were called back to answer any questions we had about the school and then that was it. TB was so relieved to be getting out of Philly! He and I both agreed that if Heidi wants to pursue art, this would be the best place for her to do it.

Heidi just seemed a little stunned by it. She liked the school and said she'd have to get used to the idea. I know that she's told me she doesn't like change. If this is what she wants, though, we'll do whatever it takes to help her make the transition if she is accepted and if she decides she wants to go there.

Spring Has Sprung

The weather has been so gorgeous around here lately! I can remember years where we just seemed to turn from winter to summer with no indication of spring inbetween. This year has been a blessing. We've had the windows open and put up with the very high pollen counts because it's been so beautiful, nice gentle breezes and sunny days. TB ordered some azaleas and some flowers and bushes so that we could begin making our front yard look pretty. We waited and waited for the plants to grow enough to be shipped and, finally, they arrived in the mail.

Neither one of us has a particularly green thumb but the company we ordered the flowers from sent a layout to help us. The plants were labelled with letters of the alphabet (as well as their real names) and we had a "map" of sorts to show us where to plant the flowers and bushes for the best effect.

Kristin was our volunteer heavy duty laborer. Even though TB had already rototilled the ground, there were so many rocks and roots under the earth! TB's main job was to jump on the shovel. Kristin would then use her little shovel to dig the dirt out and plant the flower, root or bush.

Sometimes she had to do her own chopping. The tree we had taken down had some long deep roots! We were very surprised that there didn't seem to be any worms!

She did find one that seemed to be encased in a block of dirt and roots. She's not particularly squeamish and wanted to set it free. Then Heidi came out and wanted to see.

Here is another daughter not afraid to handle slimy things.

I think I hear TB outside with the mulch. I had a job too--taking pictures. So I'm going out again with my camera!

Happy Easter

We hope everyone had a lovely, blessed Easter. We all kind of dressed up a little and went to eat at our new favorite, Anapa's. When we got back, TB took some pictures of the girls and me because they so rarely wear dresses. Well...you can't tell that they are anyway!

Oops, Heidi's hair got in the way!

That's better! Click below for more pictures--the girls couldn't keep a straight face!

Kristin's tendency to funny faces is genetic. I have to admit I used to confound and frustrate photographers all the time doing the same thing. Heh...not so much anymore.

We had a wonderful day but we sure did miss: Billy away at RPI, Michele, David, Brandon, Ryan, Taylor, Nikolas, little Tomas (whom we were hoping to see this weekend and so sad that we didn't) and Linda.

Happy Easter everyone.

Our Otter

Heidi's class went on a field trip to the aquarium today. They had a pretty good time--and now I want to go! Heidi came back with a painted face, which sparked some interest from Amber and Mouse.

What! Another pet for the humans! Not fair!

Wait a minute...that's no otter, that's our Heidi!

Guitars

My guitar is about 35 years old. You wouldn't be able to tell it was that old if you looked at it. I've been very careful with it over the years. I used to rub it down with lemon oil to keep the wood shiny. I bought it with my own money (saved from babysitting and allowances) and I used to play it every day for hours and hours. As I got older, I played it a little less. When the kids came along, I stopped...there just wasn't time in the day. I wouldn't ever give it up or give it away even when my fingers and wrists began to ache with injuries and arthritis. I didn't care if I never played again, I love that guitar.

A few times in recent years, Heidi said she'd like to learn the guitar. I would say well, maybe I can teach you. She'd say yeah but that was about as far as it got. Not long ago, she spoke wistfully of having a guitar and I remembered how I felt when I had my guitar and was able to play it. Kristin began talking about wanting to play too. Originally, I thought I might give my guitar to Heidi but then I thought, hey, why not just get the beginning kit? You get an acoustic guitar and a few other basics. This way each girl could have her own.

It didn't quite work out that way. Those guitars aren't very big--I guess they are mostly meant for kids who want to learn. We went to the flea market not far from here and picked up two really nice acoustic guitars. My, how things have changed! There wasn't one guitar in the place with nylon strings. I hadn't seen any in the music store either. Doesn't anyone play with nylon strings anymore?

I used to tune my guitar with a pitch pipe. It's hard to describe it, a funny looking little thing with six little tubes, one to tune each string of the guitar. You blow into it and it makes a harmonica-like hmmmm sound. Then you tune the string as best you can to the sound you hear. I'd learned to tune the first string to a piano and then the others, by ear, to the 5th fret of the preceding string--except for the second one. You held down the 4th fret of the 3rd string to tune that one.

Okay, anyway, I asked the guy for a pitch pipe and he looked at me like I had six heads. I said, "You know, to tune it." Ohhh. He came up with a couple of battery operated digital (I guess) tuners. One has a suction cup that attaches to the guitar. The other one is much more sophisticated. It tunes any instrument once its calibrated. Well, I had a devil of a time trying to tune the girls' guitars with that thing. A mere fraction of a turn one way or the other and you'd have a sharp or a flat instead of a regular note. Argh! TB had to help out the first time around.

It sure brought back lots of memories. I played that guitar in all moods--whenever I felt lonely, sad or depressed and also whenever I was feeling really happy and everything in between. The songs I learned were mostly folk although there were some from the times--the early 1970s--like "Leavin On A Jet Plane" and "You've Got A Friend" and "Hey Jude".

I kept all my music over the years. Unlike the guitar, the pages of music show their age. The first song I learned to play was "He's Got The Whole World In His Hands" and so that was the one I taught the girls. It had just 2 easy chords in it and I figured it was a good place to start. But I also remember how cool it felt to play music I listened to so I went online and looked for some popular songs with easier chords and found a few.

If there's a downside it's how much my hands have aged in 35 years. I have good fingers for playing the guitar, long and slim. I could play bar chords and stretch my fingers over several frets. I could pick and pluck the other strings and it sounded great to me although I know I'm no Eric Clapton. It was fun to play for myself and for my friends and family and feel the joy of making music. Now my fingers are stiff and thick and clumsy. I can't string my guitar right and it's so frustrating. I need to unstring and do it again and probably will need to have someone's help getting it started. Once I get it strung, though, I think I'll be able to play and play and the "how to" memories will all come back. I forgot how much I loved it. :)

School Play

Last night, Kristin's school put on its performance of "The Music Man". TB and I were impressed with how good the production was. Everyone did a terrific job! I think he must have taken a couple hundred pictures. He was one of the few who listened and didn't use flash. It was ridiculous--after the principal said the flashes could distract the kids most of the parents ignored the request. Flashes went off all during the play.

Here are just a couple of the pictures TB took:

Kristin played one of the "Pick-a-little" ladies, the town gossips.

Pick a little, talk a little, cheep cheep cheep...

The dancing was awesome!

Everyone did a great job!

Dueling Cameras

On Saturday, we had a really nice visit with Linda, her new beau Doug and our Little T. Tomas had had a nap and was wide awake and very cheerful. We had lots of fun playing with him! We have definitely noticed that he enjoys having his picture taken. Doug'd brought his camera and TB, naturally, wanted more pictures of our rapidly growing grandbaby.

Everyone...follow the flashing light.

Pop-Pop's turn to take a picture

Now Doug's...

Pop-Pop's...

Doug's...and on and on it went.

Doug is a really nice young man who is very motivated about what he wants to do. I realized after the fact that we didn't get a picture of him! Oh well, there's always next time.

Reflecting on how much Tomas has grown in the last 2 years made me feel wistful about the grandkids in Tennessee. They are growing and changing too, and we miss them all a lot.

It just goes so fast. It doesn't seem that long ago when my three were Little T's age ... and yet it has. There is a song played a lot these days that is very meaningful to me because the singer is at a certain age for just "a moment". Here are the lyrics:

Tuesday Twosome:

1. Do you suffer from allergies? If so, name it/them:

I thought I did but I got tested and I have no spring allergies! I am allergic to penicillin...maybe.

2. What two things does spring signify?

For me, new life and hope

3. Do you look forward to Spring? Why or why not?

Yes, I love the flowers and the break from winter's bleakness!

4. What are two negatives about spring?

Strange weather (but then that's been the case almost all year...) and "springing forward" and losing 1 hour sleep!

5. Are you enjoying your current weather conditions? Why or why not?

Yes and no...it's much milder but it's cloudy and dreary today. Hopefully tomorrow will be sunny again!

This is TB

Kindness Kindness is most important in a boyfriend/girlfriend. You want someone who will go through everything with you - the best moments and the worst, and all of those other moments in between. You love to be able to say anything to your partner, and have them say anything to you. You are able to be extremely close with your partner for that reason. Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

We've been having a busy weekend so far. We just had a lovely visit with Linda and Tomas last night. What was really nice was we got to meet the guy she is dating, Doug, and he is a super nice young man! We like him a lot and hope to see him again soon!

Tomas was in a wonderful mood and we got lots of great pictures which I'll post later. Right now I'm working on Carnival of the Cats.

A Major Award!

Kristin and her classmates participating in Model Congress went to the capital today to debate bills they'd written. Kristin was one of the chairpersons and received this award for leadership. Way to go, kiddo!

Ten on Tuesday

Ten Best Looking Celebrities

1. Kristin
2. Paul Newman--ain't he fine?
3. Jamie Lee Curtis
4. Cher
5. George Clooney
6. Tina Turner

and to be fair to the younger actors/actresses:

7. Orlando Bloom
8. Reese Witherspoon
9. Joaquin Phoenix
10. Jake Gyllenhaal

Peek-a-boo Baby

Our little T likes to have his picture taken and he is so photogenic!

What a smile!

Where's Tomas?

Peek-a-boo! Unfortunately, the camera wanted to focus on the clock!

A little kiss for Nana.

Tomas was tired this morning and so he and Linda stayed just past noon. We would have loved a longer visit but we want T to be comfortable with us and happy. We'll see him again soon!

Saturday 8

1. have you gone on spring break before? if so, where, and if not, why?

The only two vacations I can remember during a spring break were during the kids' from school. One was day trips to Washington DC in the mid 1990s and the other was a trip to Orlando, Florida in 2002.

2. do you take a spring vacation?

Every day is a vacation for me now. ;)

3. if you had (or have) a spring vacation, what would be your first choice to do? skiing in vermont? a week in the keys?

I think I'd want to go back to Orlando and spend the week at the Epcot Center and Sea world.

4. in your home/apartment, do you do spring cleaning?

Not always

5. in your area, what is your weather generally like in mid-march?

It's hard to tell because the weather has been flipping back and forth. Today it's windy and chilly.

6. spring is my favourite season ... do you share my sentiment, prefer another season?

Fall is my favorite season

7. do you do anything differently in spring than you do any other time of the year? (plant flowers/garden, take off the snow tires, etc.)

Not really

8. what are your plans for this weekend?

We just had a nice visit with T. Tomorrow I'm taking Kristin shopping. Other than that, we're probably just chilling.

Happy Birthday Linda!

Today is Linda's birthday and she is working all day and probably tonight. We hope you get enough time to celebrate, Linda!

Linda's 25 today...I remember when I was 25. I finally felt like a "real" adult.

Look forward to seeing Linda and Tomas tomorrow!

Happy Birthday, Michele

Apparently Michele's phone line is being checked for trouble and that's unfortunate because her Dad and I and sister Linda have been trying to reach her to wish her "Happy Birthday!" We'll keep trying but hopefully she'll see this birthday wish from all of us.

So March didn't come in quite like a lion today but we're in for another winter storm tomorrow and in honor of the occasion, my nose started running again.

Until Easter, I have given up getting any books for myself free or not. I shouldn't go into withdrawal at all because I'm sure I've got at least 2 dozen books on my "to be read" list.

Are you more...

01) Unassuming or naive? Unassuming
02) Likely to vote based on candidate's overall stance on issues or likely to vote based on political party? I'll vote based more on a candidate's overall stance--I've crossed party lines before if I agree with another candidate
03) A fan of country pop music or a fan of rock pop music? Rock pop
04) A good casserole sort or a main dish and two sides sort? I make more main dishes with 2 courses but I do love casseroles too
05) Pleased with your country's team's performance at the 2006 Turin Winter Olympics or disappointed with their performance? Pleased
06) Gobsmacked or lolligagged? Lollygagged without a doubt
07) Indiana Jones or James Bond? Indiana Jones
08) A believer that there are strict rules about line-ups (e.g. no cutting in line) or one who will let little things like that slide? I let little things slide, life is too short
09) One who understands and can chart Boolean logic in speech or one who either can't precisely map it out or doesn't think it's that important? I don't get it
10) Someone who will eat when you're hungry or someone who will eat because it's time to eat? Both

Best In Show

On Friday, Heidi's art teacher called and TB answered the phone. He said she sounded really excited and wanted to make sure we knew about the Heart Art competition at the high school. It's a good thing she called because we didn't! Heidi's left the invitation at school and the teacher really really hoped Heidi would show up--she'd be pleased (meaning Heidi). The teacher was sorry she wouldn't be able to make it as she had to be somewhere else.

Heidi didn't seem too excited about going. She was supposed to be at work at 5 and the program was supposed to run from 2-4. We showed up right on time. There was a reception just outside the auditorium where all the pieces of art was displayed. I was totally awed by the talent of the young people who'd made submissions. But when I got to Heidi's, I felt my jaw hit the floor. I think it's more than mother's bias-- I just knew it was a winner.

Check it out:

Unfortunately, there was glare from the plastic over the 2D art (to protect the pieces).

Heidi won "Best In Show" for the second year in a row in the 2D category. Her friend won "Best in Show" in the 3D category.

Check out TB's entry for a picture of Heidi with her artwork: The Man's Side.

I hope it's okay to show off some of the other pieces of art I admired.

Awesome, eh?

Unconscious Mutterings:

I say...and you think...

1. Baby step:: what Invasion character Tom Underlay says to all the new hybrids
2. Wasted:: drugged or drunk
3. Reggie:: music
4. Pitiful:: pathetic
5. Acting out:: tantruming
6. Tomato:: bacon lettuce and
7. Bad night:: Saturday--nothing's on!
8. Trip:: vacation
9. Finance charges:: usury
10. Sport:: bowling

randomness...feed your mind and your blog

1. do you watch the olypmics or are you just plain sick and tired of hearing about it?

I watch

2. which event is your fav?

I enjoy many of them but my top favorites: figure skating, speed skating, and snowboarding

3. which athelete(s) do you like best?

Again, there's so many! I liked the women's skating team from the US (of course), Shaun White, Apollo Anton Ohno, and Joey Cheek.

Visit With Tomas

After weeks of everyone being sick and miserable, we all were able to get together again yesterday. Some highlights:

Tomas has the sweetest smile and just loves having his picture taken!

This time he enjoyed playing toddler baseball.

I have to say I enjoyed it too!

What a photogenic kid!

Linda and Tomas at play

Awww...what a sweet picture!

Unfortunately, we didn't get any pictures of TB with the baby!

Unconscious Mutterings

I say...and you think...

1. Right time:: Now
2. Funeral:: mournful
3. Calculate:: figure
4. Believe me:: truthful
5. Chat:: talk
6. Anniversary:: annual date something happened
7. Let you down:: disappoint
8. Shout:: yell
9. Sweatsock:: wash it
10. Prayer:: Lord's

Baby Birds Have To Fly

I remember my dad saying (signing, really) "baby birds have to fly" many times throughout my life. His point was that eventually kids have to go out on their own. Teenagers start to pull away from their parents by withdrawing and rebelling as they get ready to become independent. Decades or centuries ago, teenagers were considered more like adults with all of those responsibilities. It's not like that nowadays. Now teenagers are in school until their late teens or early twenties and they don't have the resources to be able to support themselves totally. So they are in an inbetween sort of state, not a child and not an adult--and just generally making parents crazy.

Heidi and TB continue to butt heads. She has her own unique view of things and isn't on the same page as TB and me. She's hurt that I'm not bailing her out. She is immature but she is becoming a young adult. She chafes under authority. She hasn't learned yet that authority is something she's going to have to deal with all her life. Meantime, I think it would be really beneficial for her to go away to college and start gaining some independence -- or, she could get an apartment with friends. She doesn't know anyone who wants to move out, though.

So...the only other choice I can see if that she's just got to live with authority as it is until she can get out on her own and run her own life. That's how baby birds fly.

Saturday 8

1. do you read magazines? if so, what kind? if not, why not?

When I get a chance to catch up, I do. I read Writer's Digest, Reader's Digest, Entertainment Weekly, Consumer Reports and Prevention.

2. do you find yourself reading or watching celeb gossip? why or why not?

Only if there's nothing else to do!

3. if you had a job that you could do from home in addition to your 'regular' job, would you take it if you could make your own hours? why or why not?

Sure, I would love to work from home. It's convenient!

4. if this job netted you $1K to $1.5K per month, how would you spend your money given your current financial situation?

No way...a month? It couldn't be legal...but if by chance I did make lots of money a month I'd pay off all our debt, set aside money for the kids & grandkids to go to college, go on vacations with TB, buy us investment property, donate a bunch of money....

5. do you participate in any activities (marches, remembrances, historical tours, reading history) during black history month?

Reading

6. so, punxsutawney phil saw his shadow last week, and we're getting 6 more weeks of "mild winter weather." how do you feel about that, or do you care at all?

Who says it's all going to be mild? And I don't really care. There's about 6 weeks from Feb. 2 to the official first day of spring regardless of whether Phil sees his shadow

7. speaking of phil, are you a fan of the film "groundhog day"? i'm consistently amazed that i can't find a single person who doesn't like that film.

You found one. I don't like that movie.

8. and speaking of film, are you interested in seeing "the davinci code"? why or why not?

Yes, I do want to see that film--Tom Hanks is my favorite actor and Ron Howard is one of my favorite directions. It's a can't-lose combination as far as I'm concerned for what was (for me) a far-fetched story.

Happy Birthday, Little T!

It's hard to believe how quickly time goes. Our little grandson Tomas is 2 today! It seems like only yesterday...

We are so looking forward to seeing Tomas and celebrating his birthday with him, hopefully on Saturday. Already the family is feeling much better after an evening trip to the doctor. We came home with a big bag of meds. What a difference cough medicine with codeine makes! And now all of us except for Kristin are on antibiotics.

Anyway, Happy Birthday, sweet pea!

Love My New Look!

TB didn't have any work today so he helped me with my template and I love the way my blog looks now! I think it's a keeper!

I think Heidi and I are a lot alike in many ways. I think I was rather pessimistic when I was younger but somehow I learned to look for "the silver lining"...maybe it takes years to see that bad times are followed by good times and you have to learn to appreciate them when it happens. I got this in my email today and it's something I would share with my half-empty glass child:

Healthy Aging Tip: Coping with Negative Thoughts

Are you a "glass half empty" or a "glass half full" kind of person? Research shows that looking at the positive side of things is better for your health - optimists have been shown to do better than pessimists in almost every aspect of life, including how well their immune systems function. If you tend to be negative, there is good news: Optimism can be learned. The process begins with the identification of self-defeating thoughts. Once you become aware of habitual thoughts that lead to negative emotions, you can begin to substitute positive ones. For example, whenever you notice yourself ruminating on a negative theme like, "I am worthless and this latest setback just confirms it," you can consciously substitute, "This setback is just something that happened; I will get through it, because I am capable and resilient." A trained cognitive-behavioral therapist can help you in your process of viewing the world in a positive light.

It's true that thinking negative thoughts most of the time will make you sick, I can testify to that. Some of my health problems just might be a result of cumulative negative thoughts over the years. One thing I noticed was that when something "bad" (like financial trouble) happened, I would get into an intestinal and emotional uproar, worrying and wondering 'why me?' Things always eventually sorted out...and there I'd gone through all that upset and made myself sick. Was it worth it? NO. I wish I could convince Heidi that this is so.

Thursday Threesome:

Onesome: "Certainly-- is there anything in life you are "certain" about? Firm in your beliefs? Strong in your convictions? Tell us...

I am certain that Jesus is my Savior, that I love TB and he loves me, that I love my kids & grandkids and they love me.

Twosome: Worth-- what do you value? What people or projects are "worth your time"?

My life, my health, my husband, my kids, honesty, other people--it's a long list

Threesome: the Drive-- and from where you live, can you "get" to places easily? Is it an event to drive to the store? Do you live in a metropolis where everything is close?

Almost everything is at least a 20 minute drive away!

14

Time sure flies when you're having fun. Kristin is 14 today. Her Model Congress group went on a field trip today to debate bills kids wrote. They're getting some real hands-on experience with government. Later, we're taking her to get her ears pierced and go out for dinner. Happy birthday, kiddo!

Fourteen years ago:

And over the years, sunny smiley faces....

and goofy expressions...

as she grows into very much her own person!

Ten on Tuesday

Ten Great Things ABout Being A Kid:

1. Birthdays! (what a great 10 on Tuesday today, lol)
2. Summer vacation--freeeeeeeedom!
3. Field trips
4. Road trips with your family
5. Recess
6. Christmas!
7. Thanksgiving at Grandma's
8. Hanging out with friends
9. Freedom from heavy duty responsibilites like bills!
10. Sticky gross stuff like cotton candy is fun to eat

A very nice visit

Linda and Tomas came to visit for a few hours yesterday and we had a great time. TB and I had gotten some toys to keep here for the grandkiddies. Tomas enjoyed playing with them. He also had fun with your everyday items, like wallets, Linda's cell phone, and kitchen cabinets.

He enjoyed petting Mouse and he was really gentle with her too, which was good.

Mouse seemed to appreciate the attention, too.

It's sorta mind boggling that the little guy is going to be 2 in less than 2 weeks!

It's great to hear that Linda's doing real well. She's got a Toyota Camry, has a lot of responsibilities were she's working especially now that the company is expanding and is about to finish her dipoloma work. We're so happy that she's getting herself together and is doing so well!

We'll see them again soon to celebrate T's birthday.

Unconscious Mutterings:

I say...and you think...

1. Alone:: solitary
2. Science:: faith (this comes from a Lost episode)
3. Deposit:: withdraw
4. Faithful:: loyal
5. Tender:: money
6. Chocolate:: sweet
7. Homework:: practice
8. Tamper:: meddle
9. Friend:: pal
10. Wire:: bug

Looking forward to Saturday

This two season weather is kicking my butt. One day it's warm and within hours, it's freezing cold. My joints are going crazy and it's affected my mood now too. I feel really awful. But I am looking forward to Saturday, bad weather or not. We're having a visit with T. His mom sent some new cell phone pictures last week:

What a cutie, he just photographs so well!

Yum!

Looks like he'd like to get the camera and take a few pictures himself! :)

Cool Popper

Linda sent pictures of Tomas enjoying that ball popper. It really isn't fancy or elaborate and isn't that the way with the toys little kids become enchanted with? Linda supplied the captions.

I love this thing!

It goes in and then the ball comes out again!

This is the toy of my dreams!

We're so glad he's getting a kick -- or a pop -- out of it and look forward to seeing him again soon!

Check out TB's entry about the mouse who got back at a homeowner that tried to barbecue him!

The Music Memoirs

10 songs that sum up your weekend...or were on your weekend playlist...and one picture that relates back. (oh, and if you feel like it, tell us why you picked the songs you did)

I was in a Celtic music mood this weekend:

1. Factory Girl by The Chieftains/Sin顤 O'Connor
2. The Shores of The Swilly by Phil Coulter/Sin顤 O'Connor
3. In A Lifetime by Clannad & Bono
4. I Will Find You by Clannad
5. The Rose of Tralee by Nightnoise
6. Isle of Inisfree by Celtic Woman
7. May It Be by Ryan & Rachel O'Donnell
8. Danny Boy by Celtic woman
9. 12 O'Clock by Vangelis
10. Circle of Joy by Lisa Lynne

Happy Birthday to my Teddy Bear!

Happy birthday to my love!
A sea around my heart:
Part shelter, part enduring word,
Part mirror of my art.
You are the calm that drains my rage,
Bliss upon my shores,
Immensity immutable,
Rush that life restores.
To you I wish to be a welcome
Harbor for your ocean,
Destiny and origin,
Aim of your affection,
Yearning of your motion.

Now...I wish I could say that I wrote it, but I didn't. I'm not much of a poetry writer. :P

Our Trip To Tennessee, Part IV

Off we went to Douglas Lake and Dam, which wasn't too far away. TB and Heidi were eager to take pictures. Brandon was our tour guide for part of the trip and he was very knowledgeable about the area!

Heidi took this picture out the window of our car.

"I'm six feet under!" This is normally where the swimming area would be.

Ouch! I wouldn't want to step on this--fortunately it's not in the swimming area though. It makes a rather cool picture.

It was an absolutely gorgeous day for an outing.

We went up to the dam for more pictures. Brandon told us how the Tennessee Valley Authority built the dam in 1942 and pointed out a sign that gave us other vitals, like the height and length.

Heidi and Kristin got a lot of that good red Tennessee mud on their shoes from tramping around on the lake bottom and had to scrape it all off before getting back into the car.

There was so much more to see but we were getting hungry and so we decided to go pick up something to eat. I took this picture out the passenger side window as we left.

On our way back to Sevierville, there was a rather scary accident that happened right in front of us! One vehicle cut off another. That driver jammed on his brakes and the fellow driving right behind him was following too close. We heard a screech and then bam! as the 3rd vehicle smacked into the back of the second. The first driver was probably totally oblivious, as is usually with careless drivers. Anyway, none of us were hurt.

After lunch, we visited some more and then as it got dark we had to say some reluctant goodbyes because we had a long drive back the following morning. Next time we'll stay longer!

There was still a lot of traffic on the way back to our hotel but at least we finally knew why! We looked for a place to have dinner but were out of luck as every place we wanted to stop was totally crowded. There is a Shoney's right up the street from our hotel and we finally ate there. The food was just okay but not terrible.

The next day we went home and once again TB drove the whole way back. We made some great time, even when we hit some traffic around rush hour in the Baltimore-Washington area. The only problem we had was a wrong exit off the highway once we got into "home" territory--isn't that always the way? Anyway, we ended up on some street in Collingswood and wouldn't you know there was some kind of police action going down right there in front of us. It was a very tense few minutes until we could get past that, find Rt. 130 North and then get going in the right direction again.

In spite of all the traffic in Sevierville and that little excitement in New Jersey, we had a wonderful time and look forward to going back!

Tomas

Lin sent a cell phone picture of Little T. He is so cute!

A few more pictures that TB took on Christmas Eve:

Just a ramblin' man!

More pictures to follow on Nana & Pop-Pop's blog!

Our Trip To Tennessee, Part III

After a fine breakfast at Bob Evans (and it was so good I picked up a map of the whole south & middle Atlantic states because they show the locations of all the BE restaurants ) we drove over to finally visit with Michele, David & the kids. TB was so excited, he was taking pictures before we even got in the door.

We haven't seen each other since June so it was a joyous reunion. I'm sharing several pictures here but plan to upload more to Nana & Pop-Pop's House, showcasing the grandkiddies.

Michele

David & Nikolas

Taylor in her gorgeous Princess room

Ryan

Brandon

At first, we all got caught up and got to see some of the things the kids got for Christmas.

We'd gotten Nikky a rocking horse

Taylor showed off her new Bratz doll

Ryan loves his new Star Wars light saber.

Brandon's cool truck was a big hit

Everyone got a kick out of playing with the new toys--and the cats. Sylvester was so cute. He batted his catnip mouse all over the place, chased it and carried it proudly in his mouth like it was the real thing!

About midmorning, Michele and David asked us if we'd like to see Douglas Dam and Lake. TB could shoot some pictures. We said sure, we'd love to! And so off we went.

Ten on Tuesday

10 Goals For 2006

1. Forget the resolutions, they're useless. But keep track of the goals each month to see what progress I've made.
2. Join the water aerobics class at the gym on Monday, Tuesday & Thursday and attend each one
3. Swim and practice the exercises 2 days a week
4. Lose 1/2-2lbs a week
5. Attend Weight Watcher meetings every week
6. Continue to lower my blood pressure and hopefully get off the medication
7. Finish the kids' photo albums this month
8. Read all the books I have here before getting any new ones
9. Keep in touch with friends at least once a month by email or phone calls or some way
10. Finish organizing all the other photo & online picture albums this year

Our Trip To Tennessee, Part 2

We spent almost an hour at Ruby Tuesday's and at first it seemed like the traffic was lighter...until we pulled back out onto the highway. We continued inching along at an unbelievably slow snail's pace. We finally came to the intersection where David worked and turned the corner. Now, surely the traffic would ease up...but no. We still had no idea why the traffic was so jammed. Along the way, we admired the lovely Christmas decorations. We were inching along so slowly I was able to snap some pictures.

It was around 8 o'clock when we got to our hotel and checked in. It was off the main road and I was glad--it wouldn't be noisy. It was quite a nice place. It had an indoor swimming pool and every morning a continental breakfast was served in the lobby. I'm sure it had other amenities as well but we hardly listened because we were there to see family.

The girls posed for pictures in the elevator.

Okay, sort of.

I was tired but happy to be where I was.

This was the first time I'd stayed in a suite. It wasn't very large but it was comfortable. Now, we were supposed to have a queen sized bed in our room but it sure didn't look or feel like one. Well, that's okay. The girls shared the sofa bed in the living room. They could stay up to watch cartoons while TB and I totally crashed. It was hard to get to sleep that first night because of being in a strange place, a smaller bed and because we were eager to see Michele, David & the kids. But sleep did come eventually and in the morning, we were up and ready to go!

Unconscious Mutterings

I say...and you think...

1. Celebrate:: rejoice
2. Resolve: promise
3. I need to:: lose weight
4. Call:: phone
5. Token:: parking
6. Brand:: name
7. Comparison:: which is better?
8. Far away:: Tennessee
9. Artful:: skillful
10. Fantastic:: wonderful

Our Trip to Tennessee, Part I

TB came home from work on Friday (last week, not yesterday) and said that his boss was shutting down the company for the week. It was a big surprise, not of the good kind at first. Then we thought: why not go see Michele and David and the kids? We'd talked about visiting them and at first we decided against Christmas week because TB had so much work to do. It didn't make sense for him not to have the week off but who can argue with a boss? Anyway, we called Michele and got the name of a place we hoped to stay. Michele was very excited and needless to say, it didn't take much for us to get totally psyched too.

The first big drawback was that Heidi had to be back at work on Wednesday. It's too bad we didn't know the shop was going to be closed for a week because Heidi could have put in for time off. The second drawback--the nice place Michele recommended was booked up. Rats.

Right away I went online and started looking for a place to stay. There were lots of places where we could get a double room, I'm sure, but they have double beds and TB and I needed a much bigger bed. We also thought it would be nice for the four of us to have some privacy. I looked for places with suites. I found a few but almost all were booked. TB and I settled on one place that had a nice suite with a queen bed and a pull out sofa in the living room. We called Michele to see if she'd heard of it and she talked with David. Neither had and as we were all talking, the room disappeared! There was another one with two queens in the bedroom so I quickly booked that. Now...that should have told us something.

David called back a couple of times with the names of places that were closer to their place. One was a room with two beds and the other was a place with cabins but we'd have to stay in one Monday night and move to another for Tuesday night. Nah, we decided we'd stay where we were. David and Michele both warned us that the traffic there got crazy because of all the attractions and the outlets. Eh...we'd been in NJ and NY traffic, how bad could it be? Heh.

On Monday morning, TB was up bright and early. I was so excited or something I'd been unable to get to sleep until way after midnight so even with a shower I was still pretty dopey...and I was the navigator! We got the girls up and were out the door on time at 6 a.m. Billy stayed behind to take care of Buddy.

The first part of our trip went very quickly because we were going over familiar ground. When we got into the Baltimore area, I enjoyed pointing out Camden Yards and places I'd lived and worked. We stopped for breakfast in Jessup and went past the maximum security prison there--scary looking! Now, I'd been under the impression that Maryland was entirely smoke free and was bragging on it when we went into this truckers' diner. Imagine my surprise to find the place full of smoke and the non-smokers consigned to a little room off to the side! What's that all about? Well...it turns out that smoking is banned in public places but not everywhere. There's been voluntary compliance for years but the entire state isn't supposed to go smoke free for another year yet! Duh!

We made more great time into Virginia, passing Tyson's Corner--usually that's a real traffic nightmare! We passed Manassas--it sure is different! When I was an interpreter in 1978, the sixth grader I was signing for went on an outdoor education experience to Manassas. We stayed a week, visited the battlefield and learned about the area. We tramped through the woods learning to navigate with compasses, learned to identify trees and plants and all kinds of fun stuff. I'm sure the battlefield itself is preserved but the area around it looks like just another sprawling strip mall town. Too bad.

Then we got onto I-81 South. We were to be on that road for 375.5 miles and there was nothing to look at but cows and farms!

The girls were totally entranced...with their music and sleeping.

For fun, I tried taking a picture out the window as we were rolling along at 80mph:

Not bad, eh?

There was other lovely scenery as well.

Well...to me, anyway.

I wish I'd still had my camera out when we got into the Blue Ridge Mountains though. Those were totally awesome! I want to come back and drive along them when the fall colors are at peak and take pictures!

We'd been driving in Virginia for what seemed to be hours when we finally saw what we thought was our Exit--1B. We were so excited! Finally! We'd made great time! We'd get to see the family soon! As we exited though, I said--"Wait, this isn't I-40." Worse, up ahead in the distance I'd seen a sign for Knoxville 160-something miles *and* I'd seen a sign for Exit 73. I had this sinking feeling we weren't in Kansas but that we also weren't in Tennessee.

Sure enough, TB pulled off and we learned that many people make this mistake. We were looking for Exit 1 on the Tennessee side of the border and this was still Virginia, Dorothy. We sure didn't like to hear we had another hour or so of driving on I-81 but there you go.

Still, we made great time and it was 5:00 when we exited onto the road to Sevierville. I got on the phone with Michele who was totally surprised we were so close. We were hoping to all get together that night, once we'd checked into our hotel. No sooner had I hung up when we stopped dead. We were at the end of a barely crawling traffic jam that stretched on for miles and miles. It was the worst traffic I'd seen in years. Uh-oh.

At nearly 6, we'd barely covered 2 miles and still had 11 to go to the hotel. We were getting hungry and very aggravated with the traffic. What was causing it? No one was getting off the road! I suggested we pull off at Ruby Tuesday's and eat dinner. By then the traffic must surely get better! So we did....

to be continued....

Vicki's Memory Bears

The kids have been wanting something that belonged to their late dad and I gave them a few things but I always wanted to have an item of Rich's clothing made over into a stuffed animal for them. This year I found Vicki's Memory Bears and I thought this was a good time to do it. I still had Rich's grey coat and so off to Vicki it went.

I was so impressed and pleased with the beautiful bears Vicki made. She put a lot of thought and care into making the bears and there was enough material left to make a small pillow for me.

We took these pictures on Christmas morning when the kids opened the gifts:

You can't see the bears fully and so the pictures don't quite do them justice. I'm going to take another picture of them together and post them.

Vicki's a real artist! She can create lovely memories from a baby's blanket or from a tablecloth or a coat or many other things. She also can work with photographs. If you are looking for a special gift, please check out her website. You might be inspired by something you see! These are truly precious gifts because they come from such wonderful memories.

Thursday Threesome

Onesome: Driving-- Hey, what are you driving this winter? Same old, same old? ...or was Santa very nice to you (and if so, please pass him/her along to the gang !)?

I'm still driving my wonderful Toyota Sienna van. :)

Twosome: you-- Hmmm... If you could, and money were no object, what would you be driving? ...and sure: taxes, license, dealer fees, gasoline, tires, insurance, etc. would be covered by Santa!

A luxurious Lincoln Continental Town Car or a Cadillac.

Threesome: Crazy!-- ...and it's crazy, but we've made it through another year. Are you going to be doing any celebrating to ring in the New Year? Yes? What's going to be your way to say "Hello" to 2006?

I'm going to watch the ball drop on New York City's Times Square (on TV) if I don't fall asleep first and then I'm toddling off to bed. TB and I were just talking about it. We rang in plenty of New Years when we were younger; it's no big deal to us anymore.

Merry Christmas Day!

Everyone had a very merry time this morning, even Amber and Mouse!

Mouse sat and waited for her gifts to come to her...

while Amber wanted to be more "paws on"!

The best gift, of course, is that we have each other to love and to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. We enjoyed a Chinese dinner with Ted's mom and tomorrow we are on our way to Tennessee.

Merry Christmas, everyone! :)

Merry Christmas Eve!

Tomas and Linda came to visit today and we made merry These pictures are from Linda's cell phone; TB took a slew of pictures too with his camera and we'll be posting those too.

One of the gifts was one of those ball poppers. At first he didn't seem too interested--Tomas was having a fine time running all around the house and try to slow down an active toddler! Once he did take notice of his toys, though, he really got into them. He's a fast learner and when the popper stopped, he'd push the red button to get it going again.

What a sweet face!

We hope to see Little T again real soon.

Meanwhile...TB found out on Friday that his office was going to close down for a week after Christmas! We took the dismaying and shocking news and found some good from it--we decided to make a quick trip to Tennessee to see Michele, David and the kids. It's got to be a quick trip because, unfortunately, we didn't get enough notice of this for Heidi to be able to request the week off from work and we want her to be able to see her niece and nephews too. So we're off to TN on Monday!

A Special Visit

It was so good to see Tomas again! He's getting to be such a big boy! We had a nice visit and lunch with Linda and Tomas at a mall. Tomas got a good look at Santa too. No pictures though, just a walk by and a hello.

We'd brought along a Mrs Potato Head to entertain little T while we sat and visited.

He got a much bigger kick out of the box, though! He enjoyed opening and closing the lid as well as putting the pieces in the box and then taking them out.

A sweet picture.

What a wonderful day!

Things I'm Thankful For

TB uploaded the pictures for me and these are what I would have chosen from to post yesterday:

I wanted one good shot of the tablecloth and settings while it was still brand new and clean!

I'll share more pictures tomorrow!

Ten on Tuesday

10 Things You're Thankful For

1. Jesus
2. My family--hubby, kids, grandkids and extended relatives
3. My health, such as it is
4. Our house
5. We can pay our bills and save some
6. We have enough to eat
7. We have enough to clothe ourselves
8. Music to listen to
9. Cats to love--yeah, and even ADD
10. Health insurance and prescription coverage ;P

One thing I am not thankful for is the huge serving of spam this weekend. I had more spam than turkey! ACK!

Happiness Is...

Holding Tomas again after so long

Heidi holding Tomas after so long
Billy coming home today for the holidays
the day of sunshine we'll have tomorrow
Christmas music to listen to
feeling thankful for everything we have
the anticipation of seeing Little T again on Saturday!

Ten on Tuesday:

10 Things You Like Eating at Thanksgiving Dinner

Turkey!!!!
Stuffing--especially made with cornbread
Creamed onions
Yams
Mashed potatoes
Cranberry sauce
Gravy
Pumpkin pie!!!!
More turkey!
More pie!

What a weekend...

...and now it's almost over! TB and I picked Billy up from the Greyhound station late Friday night. He came down to participate in a karate tournament in Bushkill, PA. We drove him there on Saturday (about 3 hours one way) and met Fred and Alberta for lunch. We stayed together all afternoon, watching the competition and enjoying ourselves. We didn't get back until late. Today we just basically sat around and chilled. It was so beautiful today--the rain finally stopped! A couple of hours ago, we took Billy back to the Greyhound station. What a fast weekend! Well, he'll be back for Thanksgiving.

Pictures from Saturday:

Billy represented Star Karate.

Billy competed in "forms" which was individual moves. Each participant had to introduce himself to the judges, say which school he/she was from and what they were about to do.

This was right after Billy's performance. I didn't want to take pictures during because I didn't want to startle or distract him with the flash.

Here he is about to begin a sparring match.

We're proud of Billy for his dedication and performance! :)

Unconscious Mutterings

1. On the verge:: of a great discovery
2. Tempestuous:: stormy
3. Coherent:: clear
4. Near death:: experience
5. Illiterate:: literate
6. Why not?:: Because
7. Period:: End
8. Long lost:: love
9. Torrid:: hot
10. Nail:: hammer

Small Update

These pictures were taken on April 12 of this year, the last time Heidi and I saw Tomas. I've been trying not to think about him or to look at his pictures a lot because it's painful. TB and I miss all our grandkids. At least we know that we can see Brandon, Ryan, Taylor & little Nikolas.

I'm sure he has changed -- grown taller and looks older. Babies change quite a lot in 6 months.

We are scheduled to go before a judge on October 3rd, asking for visitation with our little T. We haven't seen him since April and miss him terribly. We met with a lawyer yesterday and I started to cry as I talked about Tomas.
TB and I have often wondered what Tomas thinks of all of this. He has no stability in his life anymore. He used to live with us and we interacted with him everyday, loved him and had certain routines ... then all of that changed. He's been in 3 or 4 different "homes" since April and was suddenly cut off from TB and me by his mother. First he lived with his mother and now he doesn't. Kids are not ping pong balls. I'm sure all this bouncing around is having a bad effect on him. I'm sure he misses us and certainly doesn't understand why he doesn't see us anymore. I don't think she cares that she's hurting her baby as well as us.

Thursday Threesome:

Onesome: Little-- by little we work our way through the week. Do you have anything fun coming up this weekend or in the next week? ...or maybe you're ready for a little relaxation?

TB and I wanted to see Serenity, which is supposed to open this weekend in theaters. The girls wanted to see The Corpse Bride

Twosome: Lost-- Do you get lost easily? ...or are you one of those people who always seems to know where they are?

I get lost easily without having specific directions

Threesome: Sheep-- ...and goats and rabbits and, and, and: What is the favorite critter you look forward to seeing at the petting zoo (if you're a fair goer)? ...and if not, well, which one would just as soon not run across on a walk around the block? I mean, if you were the type who walked around the block and the farm animals escaped from Farmer John's truck on his way to the Fair...

I most look forward to petting cows and horses and I'd just as soon not run into a goat!

RPI Baker's Dozen Weekend

Baker's Dozen

1. I have rediscovered that I can't drive a 6 hour trip on my own anymore. It was wonderful to have help with the drive up, thanks, Billy!
2. Staying in a dorm room on campus for student orientation wasn't such a great idea. There wasn't any TV, radio or alarm clock. There wasn't even a chair to sit in; I had to go scavenge one.
3. It was very quiet both nights -- I know other parents stayed on campus; were they all in different buildings or something?
4. The schedule kept us busy and running from early in the morning to evening!
5. The staff at RPI were all very friendly and accommodating. I explained my mobility problem and they instantly accommodated me. It was fun riding around campus in a golf cart!
6. The food was delicious! The portions were small...this isn't what they're feeding the kids, is it? I don't think so!
7. I met so many nice parents! Some meetings seemed "meant to be" -- like meeting the mom of a student who is studying the same form of karate as Billy!
8. We had an awful lot of information thrown at us. Luckily, most of it was useful. I get annoyed when speakers just ramble on and that didn't happen.
9. A couple of glitches: my last name was spelled wrong -- Hossey! And Billy and I were both sent to the wrong advisor. Not to worry, it all worked out
10. There was a lot of traffic on the way back! :P
11. I missed TB and the girls a lot and was so happy to get home.
12. I got to get a good paying job!!!!!

This is where I stayed over the weekend!

The books arrived

On Saturday, TB and I sent books out to our grandkiddies. We weren't too worried about Taylor and Nik getting their books and so we sent them media, meaning that they should receive the books by the weekend if not before. We weren't so sure about T, though, and so we sent the books certified. Linda signed for them so at least we know that they got there...we can't guarantee that Linda will give them to T but we know they got there.

I got my car back today just in time to take Billy back up to RPI tomorrow. Today was a day full of doctor appointments and I'm so done with waiting rooms this week!

Ten on Tuesday:

10 People Who Inspire You

1. Jesus
2. Oma
3. TB
4. Claire Gibson, the one who inspired me to take interpreting courses
5. The Kids & grandkids
6. Harry Chapin
7. Mother Theresa
8. Helen Keller
9. Eleanor Roosevelt
10. Abraham Lincoln

Not much else to say

The Man's Side

Sunday

Scribblings been nominated as a weekly favorite in the Family & Parenting category of Blogs for Women! If you like Scribblings, please vote on the drop-down menu here. Scribblings is second on the list.

It's sad Sunday for me.

Today is Ryan's birthday, which is a good thing for him. He is 9 years old and is out doing something special with his family. TB and I called him on the phone this morning. It's just a reminder that they are so far away and that we wouldn't see them today.

It reminded me how much I miss especially Taylor. Before they moved, Taylor and I began to get closer and it was a joy to have her around. The boys are great, too, don't get me wrong but they're older and were more into playing video games than messing with Nana. But Taylor and I would play together and I bought some dolls & stuff for her to have here when she'd come over. So after they moved I felt very sad ... and then there was Tomas that filled the space.

But now Tomas is gone too and I have no idea when I will see him again. I'd hoped to see him Friday but, no surprise, that didn't happen. I mean, I shouldn't have been surprised and I wasn't but I was really hoping. It's very hard when you're with a child every single day and used to holding him and cuddling him, reading to him, singing to him and so on and then all of a sudden ... nothing.

So I feel very sad today.

Well, I think, the kids are with their real grandmothers now--David's mom is nearby and I'm assuming that Linda is living with Kennan again--and they get to spend time with them and see them and I guess I just ought to get it into my head not to have any expectations of seeing any of them. :(

QOTD:

a) would you get in the spaceship?

Oh dear, I've always been taught not to go anywhere with strangers but ...

b) if you did, where would you ask to travel?

I would love to go to the moon and back!

Do you believe alien life exist in other parts of the universe?

Yes, I do

QOTD 4/16/05
Tell us about an interesting article that you have recently read - online or in print.

There was an online article about the feral cat population in Saginaw County.

If it was online and you have a link, please share it with us.

Wild cats infest Saginaw county

What about it caught your attention?

I was looking for an undate to that crazy proposal in Wisconsin to shoot wild cats

Unconscious Mutterings

I say ... and you think ...

1. Great escape:: vacation
2. Cluster:: group
3. Wrong place, wrong time:: unlucky
4. Guided:: led
5. Forensics:: CSI
6. Pros:: cons
7. Safety deposit box:: secure
8. Quadrant:: section
9. Precisely:: exactly
10. Who are you?:: Who? Who?

Our diner burned down!

Sticky: Scribblings been nominated as a weekly favorite in the Family & Parenting category of Blogs for Women! If you like Scribblings, please vote on the drop-down menu here. Scribblings is second on the list.

For a while, TB and I would go to a diner in town every Sunday for breakfast. I love diner breakfasts and it was a wonderful way to get back in touch with each other, away from other family members and other general noise. Well, I was really sad to read that the diner burned to the ground while the kids and I were visiting RPI! I don't know what happened but it was an older building and maybe it was for "the best" in that the owners are going to rebuild. I'm sure they had insurance. TB and I haven't been able to get away much lately because we've been tight on money. Hopefully when the new diner goes up we'll be able to go out on Sunday mornings again!

Here are a couple of pictures from Little T's visit the other day.

I was so happy to see the baby! He didn't seem quite himself, though. He was still coughing and I'm sure all of this is very confusing for the poor little guy. Looking back at the pictures later, I realized he didn't look all that happy although he did giggle with delight after letting Buddy sniff his fingers.

Linda was very evasive and wouldn't tell us where she and Tomas are staying. What else is new?

Here is the last of the How Linda Moved In Here story:

March 29, 2004

Tomorrow TB and I are meeting with Linda and her therapist. We talked about having goals for Linda and I typed them up this morning. It looks like this:

Our goals for Linda living with us for the first six months?1 year

Apply for social services assistance. If she?s accepted she would get some financial assistance each month & they?ll hopefully send her for vocational training. If she doesn?t qualify for assistance, she?ll need to think about what kind of job to go for when Tomas is around 6 months old.

Become healthier for her own and Tomas? sakes ? quit smoking (with assistance ie nicotine patch), eat more healthily, exercise

Determine what she?d like to do for a career. Hopefully she could qualify for Social Services and they could pay for the training in her interest area

Continue therapy

Clean up after herself and Tomas

Join the family chore schedule and rotate turns doing dishes. Once a week, dusting furniture

What Linda could expect from us: emotional support & encouragement
Help watching Tomas especially when she is interviewing for a job or goes into job training
Some transportation

Set up a checking/savings account with a budget & plan to save money. Kick in money for meals & expenses (like the phone)

Set a good example for Billy, Heidi & Kristin

1 yr ? 2 yrs

Moving more toward independence. Linda would be already employed or finishing with training and about to go look for a job.

Savings should be accumulating to help her pay for a car, car insurance, a place to live.

TB added: honesty.

We'll see how it goes.

Mar 31, 2004 ?

So yesterday we went with Linda to her therapist?s.
Linda did make a list of goals for herself, with and without Kennan. She is still pretty confused about the way she feels regarding Kennan. On one hand, she says she realizes that Kennan isn?t going to change, not without some counseling. It?s over, she says. He is like an addiction she?s got to break.

The therapist asked what if Kennan swears he?ll change and asks her to give him another chance. Maybe Kennan would even agree to come for counseling. Linda said well, she?d give him a chance. She still loves him. Therapist pointed out that Linda isn?t sure yet what she wants to do. Linda agreed but the bottom line is that she wants out of there.

TB still has a lot of reservations about it. We talked about some of our expectations for Linda. Number one on the list was that she quit smoking. I am of a softer heart. I think at this point it?d be really tough for Linda to just flat out quit with everything going on in her life. Therapist and TB don?t agree. Therapist said it would be a good faith effort on Linda?s part to quit today.

Linda looked a little ticked. Uh oh.

We also spent a lot of time talking about the other goals on the list ? applying for social services, getting Kennan to provide support for Little T, getting some training, living more healthily (which includes eating better) and continuing to get counseling. TB kept emphasizing honesty, setting a good example, and helping out around the house. He said we keep regular bedtime schedules and cleaning schedules too.

Linda seemed agreeable to everything. She really wants to come and live with us. I sort of think she?d agree to anything to get out of that house. I think that?s what worries TB. He?s not so sure that she is sincere.

This morning we talked a little about it. I said, what are we going to do when Linda smokes away from home and comes in smelling of cigarettes?

TB wasn?t sure. He said it was tearing him apart to think of Linda repeating her ?save me? pattern of behavior again.

I wondered if he wasn?t setting her up to fail because he expected her to fall back on past behavior. I think she just might do that because she hasn?t had a chance to internalize new behaviors yet. I wouldn?t want to throw her out for smoking away from home. I wouldn?t want Little T on the street.

TB said that?s why he is so torn. If it was just Linda by herself, he wouldn?t consider taking her in ? period. The reason he?s agreeing is because of the baby.

Linda probably needs a boot in her ass at first to get her to learn how to take care of herself. She should go and apply for social services so I figure I?ll take her there and wait with her while she does that. She?s got to call her school district to find out if she can get her high school diploma without having to take the whole GED. Maybe that?s all she needs. It seems like before everyone told her ?you should do this, you should do that? and she just never followed through ? maybe because she didn?t want to go alone or because she didn?t have transportation. Who knows?

I am nervous about this too. What will it be like to have another adult here, one that smokes and one that caves in to tempting foods? Every time Linda?s come over she?s brought sweet stuff. Yesterday there was candy. The week before, she brought cookies and chocolate milk. We can?t have that in a house full of sweet addicts. Will she react the same way as she did to quitting smoking?

I think Linda resents having to give up cigarettes. I don?t think it?s an issue I would have pushed from the beginning but I?m standing with TB on it. I remember what it was like when I quit smoking. I wanted to eat candy all the time. I?m sure that will happen to Linda, too, and she?ll find out she?s not allowed to do that either.

And what happens if she does screw up? We?re not just talking about Linda anymore. We are also talking about Little T.

There is going to be an impact on all of us. Heidi has to share her room with Linda and T. What if she can?t sleep at night because the baby is crying? She might have to sleep in Kristin?s room ? be spread out between two rooms. Heidi?s just begun to settle down this year. Will all of this set her off again? The ripple effect of all this will touch Billy and Kristin too.

As to the when of it, Linda is supposed to let us know when she wants to move out. She?s decided she doesn?t want to talk to Kennan first. She just wants to pack her stuff and go when no one is at home. I am pretty sure that Kennan won?t let go so easy. We?re in for some tense times. We?ll also have to talk about how we will handle
Kennan if he starts calling and coming over.

I am sure ::::: There is a reason....... for all of this. I believe it with all my heart. Maybe we are supposed to be the way Linda is finally able to shake off past ghosts and move on with her life. Maybe we are the end of the line for her. If this doesn?t work, what will become of her and of Tomas? We?ll have to do a lot more praying about it.

April 1, 2004

We went home and ate lunch. After we were finishing our meal, the phone rang. It was Linda. Her voice was very soft and she said she wanted us to pick her and T up now. Now? Well, we didn?t ask any questions. We put away the food and left.

Linda had most of her stuff packed already so we just had to load everything into the car. T was sleeping, a sweet little angel.

The rest of the day is like a blur.

I tell myself that we?ll take it one day at a time.

QOTD:

What personality characteristics do you find desirable in other people?

Honesty, compassion, and understanding

In a school setting, how should a principal be responsible for discipline? What about a teacher? What about a parent? Who is responsible for what, in your opinion?

The parent has the ultimate responsibility for discipline. The parents should back up the teacher so that the teacher can have control in the classroom and not have to worry about being cussed at, threatened or sassed. The teacher should be able to assign detention and the parents need to back it up. The principal should always back the teacher, too, and should get involved if the kid needs to be suspended or expelled.

Wednesday Whatevers

1. Which search engine do you prefer and why?

I like google best because it seems to bring up the listings closest to what I'm actually looking for

2. Why is marriage such a significant institution?

Legally, it protects the two people involved in the relationship. Spiritually, it's sanctified by the church. It's the basic building block of a family

3. Can a soul be sold?

Figuratively, yes

A day at the park

Today was the nicest day since spring break and so I took the girls and Little T to the park. The playground area is called Imagination Kingdom and it's easy to see why. There is a lot of cool stuff for kids to do! I'd taken T there once before in the beginning of the month and he really enjoyed being on the swing again!

There are more pictures following!

Heidi took T on a little "tour" of the place. He wasn't as sure about exploring the castle as he was about the swing. He definitely didn't care for the slide but I'm sure that will change!

Kristin also enjoyed exploring the park and trying out all the equipment. She said to me, "I'm too old for this park." That's not it. She's not too old, she's just too tall. Still, she had fun.

I had fun too mostly because the kids enjoyed it. Somehow Little T got his hat off and then the sun was right in his face!

We needed this break!

QOTD:

You've just learned that you have been chosen as one of the next group of contestants for "Survivor" and you start in 6 weeks. How will you spend the next 6 weeks in preparation for your participation?

Boy ... first I am going to work out to develop endurance. I am going to review previous episodes and try to pick up pointers from the winners and the losers. I thought I'd cut back my portions to get used to the idea of little or no food.

How often do you lose your temper?

It depends on how badly I'm stressed. I can lose it in a snap or I can be pretty patient, depending on what is going on around me.

Miserable Monday

There's not much to update about. It's pouring down rain and we're getting puddles everywhere. It's not cold but it's damp and miserable. I have been so stressed out with various family members and it feels like a bad toothache. I would like to "run away" with TB ... just a couple of days ... and not tell anyone where we are going.

Spring has sprung, the grass has riz...I wonder where all da birdies & flowers is?

QOTDII

What are your personal boundaries for sharing pictures on your blog?

I never really thought about how it might put my family at risk. I don't know that we have a big enough readership and I thought, well, no one knows where we are. I think I'm awfully naive, eh? I enjoy looking at pictures in other blogs and I enjoy having ours posted ... but I guess we should be more cautious. I notice that other blogs don't use real names either.

Baker's Dozen:

1. It was a totally stressful weekend!
2. I gained back 3 pounds :(
3. We did have a nice, quiet Easter dinner
4. Where are the daffodils?
5. Why is it still raining? It's not April!
6. My friend told me that when her brother was dying, he didn't want to eat and he didn't suffer pain from it. That's a relief not only for him but for Terri Schiavo
7. Why are the doctors giving her morphine, though?
8. I would not want to be like that
9. "What a drag it is getting old" -- I ache all over, especially in this stupid weather
10. The Easter bunny is a lot of hype and it's just no fun for me anymore
11. My cats really fight viciously sometimes ... it's not just playing!
12. I am not sick of corned beef and cabbage yet.

This is a picture of my sister-in-law Anna and I chose the picture because of the pretty flowers ... wishing they were blooming in our yards!

Unconscious Mutterings:

I say ... and you think...

1. I?m waiting:: for spring
2. Speak:: talk
3. Roger...:: over and out
4. Knock knock:: who's there?
5. Hybrid:: blend
6. Can?t believe my eyes:: Wow!
7. Hooked:: addicted
8. Pontificate:: preach
9. Slime:: icky
10. Unwelcome:: stress