Scribblings

More Goofing Off

You know how people try to make a point of smiling when their pictures are being taken? Well, Kristin makes a point not to smile--at least not for the spring pictures. This tradition started the spring (or maybe the one after) Rich died and I thought it had to do with grieving. Maybe it does. Maybe not. We decided to ask Kristin and she says her friends think she photographs better grim faced. TB and I don't happen to agree but I'm not forcing the issue. TB did have a little fun with photoshop though.

Before:

After:

I thought his effort was adorable, especially adding the elfin ears. I thought Kristin would get a big kick out of it too so I asked TB to print a copy of the picture for her. She didn't like it though. My daughter, who is into Hellsing the Vampire Hunter and other similar genre, was creeped out by the elf ears and the smile. Or...it was probably being photoshopped that creeped her out.

National Goof Off Day

I'm glad that today is National Goof Off Day. This means a day where I can legitimately not do anything constructive and a day when I don't have to think about George Bush, Iraq, bird flu, Iran or any other disturbing news story.

Before I learned what day it was, I found myself very annoyed about the latest outrage in Florida, Debra Lafave travesty of justice. This is a woman who was a school teacher and took advantage of her position to have sex (more than once!) with one of her 14 year old students! If she was a man or even a woman who wasn't blonde and pretty and cute, she'd be sitting in jail now. Instead, she's not going to be doing any jail time because a prosecutor dropped the charges against her.

Long story...let me back up a bit. This woman had sex with the boy in more than one county in Florida. There was some plea bargaining and it was a ridiculous agreement--three years of house arrest. Well, the judge in one of the counties recognized it for the stupid decision it was and threw the agreement out. She was supposed to go to trial but then the prosecutor decided it would be too emotionally damaging for the boy to testify and dropped all charges. What? The whole case rested on the testimony of that poor kid when there was so much other evidence that could be presented? Like ... her confession, her conviction in the other county, another witness...grrrr!

To add insult to injury the woman claims she has bipolar disorder. I suppose if the case had gone to trial she would have used that as an excuse? She was in a manic episode and so engaged in risky behavior by having sex with the teenager? Like that would excuse it? Please. What was annoying to me was that such a defense would help to negatively portray people with bipolar disorder. There are lots of people with all sorts of emotional problems who do not commit statutory rape on a kid.

But...I remind myself it's National Goof Off Day. Participate in my trivia quiz of the day (link in the entry at the top of the page). Play computer games like Chuzzles or Tumblebugs. Watch movies! Watch TV--there's a new episode of Lost tonight, yay!

There wasn't a new "Are You More" meme up yet, but Wednesday's Mind Hump is all about Goof Off Day!

1. What's your favorite way to goof off?

At the moment, it would be playing Chuzzles or Tumblebugs on my computer

2. How much goofing off do you do on an average day?

A couple at least

3. If you got paid to blog, how would you goof off and not do your job?

I would surf the computer, play computer games and go read other blogs!

Well, duh!

Yes, I'm reading and watching the news again. This, though, is a step in the right direction. My mother suffered from depression. Sometimes she would go into these scary rages which I have only recently learned is a symptom of depression too. When I was a teenager, I developed panic attacks. I thought I was losing my mind. I went on my own to a doctor when I was about 22. At that time--1976--there was no name for panic attacks. The doctor, though, told me that I was definitely depressed.

Lo and behold, it runs in families! I'm not surprised but I am saddened (as a mom would be) that my daughter is depressed too.

Mental health has a stigma attached to it. Until recently, health insurance companies either didn't cover it or just paid a fraction of the cost. If you needed to be hospitalized, the insurance company wouldn't pay for more than a 1-2 week stay. Many years, I was inadequately insured for mental health issues and so either I didn't get help or I had to go to a clinic. Those were the sorts of places I had to take my daughter to.

Therapists don't stay very long in places like that...and guess what? Patients need consistency so they can develop trust with a therapist! It sucks to start out with someone and then 6 months later they are leaving for a better job somewhere else.

And now comes this article ... and wouldn't it have been nice if this kind of thinking was prevalent when my kids were very small? Or even when I was very small?

Treating Moms' Depression May Help Kids

By LINDSEY TANNER, AP Medical Writer

CHICAGO - Treating a mother's depression can help prevent it and other disorders in her child, say researchers in a provocative study that may influence family health care.

It's the first time doctors have documented what might seem like common sense, but the results have potentially big public health implications, the study authors and other experts say.

"It's a very dramatic and important finding," said co-author Dr. A. John Rush, a psychiatry professor at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center.

Depression runs in families and has a strong genetic component, but environmental factors can trigger it. The study results indicate that for children of depressed mothers, that trigger is sometimes their mothers' illness acting up, said lead author Myrna Weissman, a researcher at Columbia University and New York Psychiatric Institute.

Effective treatment for mothers could mean their children might avoid the need for prescription antidepressants, the researchers said.

"Depressed parents should be treated vigorously. It's a two-fer — the impact is not only on them but it's also on their children," Weissman said.

In the study, those children whose mothers' depression disappeared during three months of treatment were much less likely to be diagnosed with depression, anxiety or behavior problems than those whose mothers did not improve.

The results are "very plausible and very convincing and very useful," said Dr. Nada Stotland, vice president of the American Psychiatric Association and a psychiatry professor at Rush Medical College in Chicago.

"Our society gives a lot of lip service to how important mothers are but in fact we don't always appreciate just how profound their effects on their children are," said Stotland, who was not involved in the study.

While mothers often tend to put their own needs last, this research "is a good argument for them to take care of themselves first," she said. "It's a little like putting your own oxygen mask on first on the airplane. If you can't breathe, you can't help anybody."

The study appears in Wednesday's Journal of the American Medical Association and involved 114 depressed women assessed after three months of treatment. Of the 114 children participants, aged 11 to 12 on average, 68 had no psychiatric disorder when their mothers began treatment.

Thirty-eight women went into complete remission from depression during treatment, which for most was Forest Laboratories' antidepressant Celexa.

Forest supplied the drug and several study authors have financial ties to other antidepressant makers, but the study was funded by grants from the National Institute of Mental Health.

Among children with psychiatric problems, the remission rate was 33 percent after three months for those whose mothers recovered versus 12 percent among those whose mothers did not.

Among children without psychiatric problems at the outset, all whose mothers recovered also remained healthy, whereas 17 percent of those whose mothers remained depressed were diagnosed with psychiatric problems by the study's end.

Weissman said similar results likely would occur with different drugs and/or psychotherapy. She also believes findings would be similar with depressed fathers, although none were studied.

Dr. Peter Robbins, a Fairfax, Va., psychiatrist, said he's seen similar results in his pediatric practice, and not just with depression.

For example, children with attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder often have similarly afflicted parents. Getting treatment for the parents yields improvement in the children's symptoms, he said.

The study underscores "that taking care of the kid means taking care of the whole family," Robbins said.

Stress & feelings

I know I haven't posted in a few days. It was hectic but there's also something going on with the way I feel. Anyway, I've been in touch with the doctor and gotten some help there. TB came up with an idea that really sounds appealling to me--taking college courses again. We stopped at BCC so I could pick up an application and catalog.

We did have a really nice visit with Billy. He should be wrapping up the semester in just a few weeks and then TB and I will drive up to get him.

It so happened that I got some information about stress management in my email box today. The title was intriguing--something about getting in touch with your inner child to relieve stress. I remember therapy over 20 years ago where I was supposed to get in touch with my inner child. My poor inner child is so confused right now and needs lots of hugs. Here's what the article said and I found that I do some of these things already:

Top 10 Stress Relief Strategies You Tried as a Child Guide Picks from Your Guide, Elizabeth Scott

As kids, certain stress relief strategies came naturally. As adults, however, we may have forgotten how to relieve stress, and find ourselves consumed by it. Looking for new stress relief strategies, you may want to look back to the 'good old days' when you knew how to relax. Read about the adult stress relief strategies related to our old childhood pastimes, and click on the links for more information on how to incorporate them into your lifestyle today.

1) Daydreaming
As a child, most of us spent time just making up stories in our heads. Day-dreams about fun times, being the best at something, or just lying in a beautiful field are all things most kids know how to create, and do so naturally. As an adult, you can keep that creativity alive while reducing stress and creating inner peace and increased wellness with guided imagery and visualizations, both proven methods that can easily be part of just about anyone’s stress management bag of tricks.

Yeah, I need to do more of this. My happy place would be at the ocean so that's what I would visualize. The sound of the waves is very soothing!

2) Naps
As a small child, you either loved them or hated them, but chances are, you took naps. Sadly, many people associate adult napping with laziness or lack of drive. However, curling up in a sunny patch on the floor or even lying your head down on your desk for a quick snooze brings relaxation as well as increased productivity and health benefits. Not everybody can fit it into their lifestyle, but if you can find a way, working a nap into your schedule really pays off.

This is one of the things I do--a lot.

3) Getting Hugs from Loved Ones
Most likely at some point in your childhood, when you faced stressful times, a hug from Mommy (or another loved one) was enough to make it better, or at least help you feel safer and calmer. Sometimes we forget the power of touch and social support as adults. Next time you’re facing hard times, don’t forget to get emotional support from friends. (And if you’re in a supportive relationship, don’t underestimate the power of physical affection.)

This is something I don't think to do but more because I didn't get a lot of comforting hugs as a kid. Maybe I don't know what I'm missing?

4) Playing with Pets
When small children interact with animals, you can see the pure love and affection that they share. If you had a pet as a child, you probably remember that animal as a buddy, whether it was an hamster, dog or horse. But as adults we sometimes forget to connect with our animal friends. Pets have been shown to reduce blood pressure better than medication, increase healthy lifestyle behaviors, and sometimes give better social support than humans! Don’t forget your furry friends as an adult.

I really do find it soothing to pet my kitties, wish they were lap cats but oh well.

5) Singing
As kids, we sung tons of songs, from The Itsy-Bitsy Spider to whatever was on the radio, with little self-consciousness. But how often do you sing as an adult, or even hum or whistle? See if you can get more music in your life and express yourself loudly, quietly, publicly or only in the shower. Don’t worry about being on key, just enjoy yourself. Singing can be a beautiful, fast, cathartic and free stress reliever that just about anyone can enjoy.

6) Playing Games
As kids, we always played games. From Chutes and Ladders and Twister to Clue and Go Fish, we knew how to have fun. As adults, we may find ourselves too busy to play games, but don’t underestimate the stress-relieving benefits of a quick game of Hangman or other fun games. And now that you’ve grown up, you no longer have to find other kids to play with, as you can play these games right on your computer!

7) Drawing, Painting, Sculpting
Just about everyone drew pictures as a kid. However, expressing what’s inside with crayons, pencils or finger paints shouldn’t just be a pastime of kids and a lucky few adults who become professional artists. Whether you doodle with pens while you take a break at work, or buy some artist supplies and go wild in your spare time, working art into your life can help you process emotions, express yourself, relieve stress, and leave you with something to frame, or at least hang on the fridge.

8) Writing Notes
As we got older, some of us kept diaries, and we probably all enjoyed writing notes to our friends. These are still good stress management techniques to practice as adults. The health and stress management benefits of journaling have been demonstrated by research, and you can journal about your emotions, record your dreams, or keep a gratitude journal. And if you want to write notes to friends again, you can visit the forum, connect with others, and share your thoughts.

These are some other things I've done--well, not the art part. That's just not my thing. But I do like to journal and play computer games.

9) Team Sports
We all remember sports teams as kids. Whether it was tee-ball, soccer, dodge ball or hide-and-seek, playing active games in a group has some great benefits for kids. As an adult, physical games can offer the health and stress management benefits of exercise, and the group involvement can ensure that you’ll keep at it. You can join an adult softball league, play racket ball at your gym, or enjoy other games that are available in your community.

Some physical disabilities get in the way. :( I would love to bowl again but the balls are too heavy for me to hold now. There's always swimming, but I have to get my act in gear to go. That's not a team sport, though--still, it's very relaxing.

10) Imagining The Future
Do you remember your answers when asked the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” And, how are you spending your time now? If you have a lot of stress in your life, you may want to sometimes revisit the question. Are you really doing what you feel you were meant to do? Ask yourself what your ideal life would look like, and then take steps toward that ideal. A good start would be to take the 10-week free e-course on Living a Low-Stress Healthy Lifestyle, and go from there.

I did sign up for the e-course, which anyone can do here. This is also why we stopped by the community college so I could pick up an application and catalog.

New Daily Trivia Challenge

TB is working on setting up a daily question/poll I can have on my blog because he knows I love that kind of stuff. In the mean time, I created a daily challenge trivia quiz here! and wanted to invite everyone to play along and have fun! If I can figure out how to make a sticky, I can keep this little announcement at the top of the blog

Velocity

I was so disappointed in this book! I started complaining about it not long after I began reading it. Velocity, written by Dean Koontz, should have been a suspenseful thriller. TB thought it was a great story. We went back and forth about it for the last three or four days. I kept complaining about the things I didn't like and he kept suggesting I just enjoy it as a good yarn, that it didn't have to make sense. It definitely didn't do that ... make sense, I mean.

So what was it I didn't like? The "hero" of the story is a bartender named Billy Wiles. He's singled out by a serial killer and forced to decide who will be the next victim. Deciding not to choose also results in someone being killed. When I read the book jacket, I thought, wow this could be a really good story! Almost from the get-go, though, there were problems with the story that irritated me and stretched the bounds of my belief. The reason poor Billy was singled out didn't make sense even when the truth came out.

And why is it that your average run-of-the-mill bartender can suddenly act like a calculating sleuth, knowing exactly how to cover up his tracks and manipulate a crime scene?

A petty annoyance: the killer is referred to over and over and over as "the freak". Freak? Considering all the evil this guy perpetrates, "freak" is a mild term!

On the other hand, there were lots of little clues planted in the beginning of the story that seemed pretty innocent ... the thing is, I thought it all started to come together really late in the story.

So why did I keep reading it? Because this was Dean Koontz and I really kept hoping it would get better. We won an autographed copy of this book and I really wanted his signature to be on one of his best books ever. Oh well...

Now Kristin is going to read the book and see what she thinks. She listened to TB and I going on about it and wants to see if it rings true to her. I'm looking forward to hearing what she thinks.

Are you more...

01) Someone who is likely to sue or someone who is likely to be sued? Not that I can picture myself doing it but I'd probably be more likely to sue
02) Apt to see David Hasselhoff in concert or apt to see John Tesh in concert? Barf! Neither!
03) Likely to wait for an opportunity to say 'no thanks' to a telemarketer or likely to just hang up on them? I say "No thanks" right away and then hang up
04) Apt to see Madonna in concert or apt to see Celine Dion in concert? Celine Dion
05) Green beer or corned beef? Corned beef
06) Apt to see Bryan Adams in concert or apt to see Billy Joel in concert? Billy Joel!
07) Loving home made pizza (for the cost savings) or loving delivery pizza (for the professional taste)? Delivery pizza
08) Apt to see Duran Duran in concert or apt to see INXS in concert? Who?
09) One who believes that the RIAA/MPAA are properly and rightfully protecting their content or one who believes they are scum-sucking, litigation-happy bastards? They are scum sucking litigation happy bastards!
10) Apt to see Bono in concert or apt to see Sting in concert? I really like them both but I think I'd be more apt to see Sting

A little of this, a little of that

Good News:

Billy is here for a visit
Heidi got promoted at work
Kristin's doing well on her federal (or state?) mandated test
Linda's back with her boyfriend
The weather's been beautiful!
I can listen to all kinds of cool music on yahoo! Yahooooooo!
Crestor seems to reverse heart disease by reducing/stopping placque from forming!

Bad News

I think Iraq already is in a civil war, not on the verge of. More of our troops are heading there!
There is another case of Mad Cow disease in this country.
We'd be six months into a flu pandemic before we can come up with an effective vaccine ... if anyone is still healthy enough to do it :P
Miss Deaf Texas was killed by a train.. She didn't hear the warning ... but what was she doing there?

If I still drank, I'd want to be this woman!

Ten on Tuesday

10 Things You'd Tell Other People to Try

1. Paper Back Swap
2. Book Crossing
3. Lost, Wednesdays at 9 p.m. But if you've never seen it, watch Season 1 on DVD first, then download the eps from itunes.
4. a vacation to the Poconos
5. a vacation to Ocean City, MD
6. sign language classes
7. Irish soda bread
8. Cat blogging
9. "Pay it forward"--do something nice for someone and ask them to pass it on
10. Boardwalk Fries with vinegar!

Daddy

Originally published in 1986, I didn't come across Daddy by Loup Durand until I saw it at a library sale last year. I was attracted by the cover: a blue eye with the relfection of a swastika. I enjoy historical fiction a lot so I picked it up. It's a suspense thriller and I usually don't enjoy that genre but this is one of the best I've ever read. I think what appealled to me most was the cat-and-mouse game going on between the young hero, an 11 year old boy named Thomas and the perverted man hunting him down for the Nazis, Gregor Laemmle. There's another hero, too, an American playboy type, David Quartermain, who's almost like a third wheel.

In fact the one thing I didn't like about the book was a sudden sidetrack into what was going on with Quartermain after he was caught by Laemmle (okay, I gave something away). The story moved along very quickly and I was on the end of my seat, biting my nails, and then it came almost to a screeching halt at just about that point. I didn't like it. It was a terrible interruption of the flow. What was it for? I have no clue.

There are lots of pursuit stories out there and many with Nazi villains and heroes with secrets trying to get away. A couple of things were different about this one. The boy is a genius, entrusted with a secret by his mother. She used his genius in such a way that turned him into a cold little thinking machine. The villain seems to be something of a genius too. They are always outwitting each other. I don't want to give away any more of the book. I'd rate it a 9 out of 10 and definitely would recommend it!

Unconscious Mutterings