Scribblings

Wawa vs. Railroad Museum

As much as I like museums, there's only so much I can take of a railroad museum. I have never been to the one in Pemberton yet. I just haven't had the inkling to go. Normally I am very much into the environment but the idea of a Super Wawa close by certainly appeals to me at the moment. The gas there is (usually) cheaper and it's a place I could stop into when I'm on my way to various places.

The Pemberton Township Zoning Board voted for Wawa over the museum but apparently not without some hard feelings. The museum supporters are going to fight the decision which is a real drag. I am hoping the Super Wawa goes up and that the feuding families kiss and make up. Life is too short!

Unconscious Mutterings:

I say...and you think...

1. Risks:: dangers
2. Abdominal:: tummy
3. Radiant:: glowing
4. The usual:: same old same old
5. Mix and match:: flexible
6. Wireless:: cell phone
7. Remedial:: helpful
8. Mile:: 5,280 feet
9. Long lost:: relative
10. Only one:: unique

Feline Friday: Sleeping

Here is a bit of kitty trivia:

Why do cats sleep so much?

Cats sleep up to eighteen hours a day, but never quite as deep as humans. Instead, they fall asleep quickly and wake up intermittently to check to see if their environment is still safe.

When there's two of us, we get more rest! One stands watch while the other naps!

Just an update

The last few days have been so insufferably hot, especially yesterday! I needed to go out for doctor appointments and to run errands. It felt like a whole other person was standing on my chest! :P We had some thunderstorms last night and I'm hoping it broke the latest heat wave.

One of my errands involved getting the ball rolling for Heidi's 504 plan for the fall. I am sure the principal is going to be a real donkey's butt about the whole thing (again) and so I would like to have something in place -- with a lawyer's help if need be -- before September. A while back, I read that the school district is fighting to keep its special education designation. If they lose it, they have no one else to blame but themselves, IMHO. They make it very difficult for the parents and the students.

Thursday Threesome

Onesome - If You - If you were given a million dollars, what would you do with it?

I would pay off our bills, set up a trust fund for the minor kids and grandkids, keep some to invest, and donate some to the homeless/hungry and for health care issues

Twosome - Have To - What is it that you have to do today? Or is there something you're dreading to do this week?

I still have to get onto the dreadmill and walk. I need to do some more writing but there's nothing that I dread.

Threesome - Go Away - Where's that place you've been imagining to take a dream trip to lately?

Hawaii

Contacting That Therapist

Linda was seeing a therapist at Drenk who was pretty instrumental in persuading us to let her move in with us despite TB's strong misgivings. I had more of a tendency to trust the man because he used to be the principal at Kristin's school. We were able to work out a reasonable plan that we all could live with ... unfortunately, the therapist moved on. I thought he'd been promoted within the ranks but it turns out he went to Family Services (which means, I think, DYFS). He assured Linda that his replacement would be every bit as understanding and compassionate and blah blah blah...

Well...a couple of times I've thought about writing to the man to let him know what happened after all that. I think I have his phone number through Zabasearch. But, I thought, what would be the purpose? What could I say to this guy?

Me: Look what you did to us! You talked us into a bad deal with Linda and now we have no contact with our grandson!

Him: It's not my fault! I was acting in good faith! I didn't know things would turn out the way they did!

Yeah...see, that's the problem. I don't think he intentionally set us up. I think he was just trying to help.

Me: Hey, could you put in a good word for us with the judge if we end up having to go to court?

Him: If I can get off from work...

Wouldn't that be nice? It's a dream, though ... even if he wanted to I think it would be breaking confidentiality or something, right?

Ten on Tuesday:

10 Great Commercials

These are "oldies but goodies". I'm not too fond of the commercials on the air now.

1) "Where's the beef?" -- Wendy's
2) "I'd like to teach the world to sing" by Coke
3) "I can't believe I ate the whoooooole thing" -- Alka Seltzer
4) Budweiser Clydesdale Christmas/holidays
5) The Budweiser frogs - Bud.....Wise......Errrrrr.
6) "Plop plop fizz fizz oh what a relief it is!" -- Alka Seltzer
7) "Choo Choo Charlie was an engineer..." Good'n'Plenty
8) "No matter what shape your stomach is in..." Alka Seltzer
9) Little girl doing the Joe Pesci voice in a Pepsi commercial
10) "My baloney has a first name, it's O-s-c-a-r..." Oscar Mayer

My Baker's Dozen Weekend

Baker's Dozen

Feline Friday: Lazy Days

There's nothing better to do on a hot summer day than take a long morning siesta

This is the life. I have nothing to do all day ...

....except stretch, sleep and eat.

The only thing on my mind is just wondering...

Why do the dogs get all the credit for these days?

RPI Weekend

While we were in Troy, I scribbled down some of my thoughts. There wasn't much else to do at the end of the evening. I stayed in Barton Hall, air conditioned but without a TV or radio. It was so quiet I wasn't even sure there were any other people in the building!

July 14, 2005

Well...here I am at RPI all by myself in this huge dorm room. It's totally barren-stark furniture, no TV, no radio and I am woefully unprepared. I forgot to bring band aids (and I have a new, giant blister on my left foot), a radio or any kind of tape player...and all my extra pillows. But...I did manage to remember my CPAP machine and the insert for my left shoe. I just had a feeling I should bring it! I also remembered my clock, books, and something to write in. I have lots of pens. I can always go to the student union or even off campus if I have to buy bandaids.

It took us about 6-1/2 hours to get here. Part of that was from gettin gstuck in traffic on the Garden State Parkway. Part of it was due to us stopping and getting a bite to eat. It was really helpful to have Billy drive part of the way. I can't drive all that way anymore. He isn't in the same dorm as I am. He's over at Davis Hall (or something) with the other kids who are going to be here this weekend.

He is such a good kid. We stopped once for gas and it was self-service. There was an elderly woman behind us. She needed help and so he just went and filled the tank up for her. I so hope he enjoys this orientation, he is such a sweet and generous boy.

It looks like there's going to be a lot on the plate tomorrow and I'm just going to read for awhile and then turn in. I miss TB and the girls and got to talk to them on the phone. I'm getting sleepy now...actually, the silence isn't so bad after all!

Thursday Threesome:

Onesome: I'd give up-- Is there anything you've given up that you're proud of? Or something you gave up on that you wish you hadn't?

I'm proud to have quit smoking in 1987. I found out that I was pregnant with Billy and saw this commercial on TV of an unborn baby smoking. Everytime you smoke, the message was, so does your baby. I was horrified and stopped cold.

Twosome: chocolate-- What's your favorite way to treat yourself? Would you kill for chocolate or would you rather have something else?

My favorite way to treat myself was with chocolate or ice cream but now I'm in the middle of trying to change all that. I'm learning to want other things -- like a book instead. I've gotten hooked on Book Crossing and Paperback Swap so I try to treat myself with new free books.

Threesome: but I'm no quitter-- Is there anything you think you should give up, but you refuse to do it?

Heh heh...coffee

Advocacy

Today I've been surfing the web a little, trying to find information on grandparent visitation rights. I am going to have to buckle down and read about the New Jersey law and try to get a handle on it. I saw this article at AARP online:

Grandparent Visitation Rights Most grandparents visit with their grandchildren whenever they want to. They plan fun activities for the children. They send cards and emails. They take the kids on trips. They may even spoil the grandchildren a little bit. Many provide day care. Others help raise their grandchildren. All this helps keep families strong.

Sadly, some grandparents don't ever see their grandchildren because the children's parents or legal guardians won't let them. This happens for many reasons. There might be bad feelings between the grandchildren's parents and grandparents. The children's parents could be divorced. Or maybe one parent has died. The parent who has custody may want to break ties with the grandparents.

State Laws

Are you having problems seeing your grandchild? The first thing you need to do is learn about the visitation law in the state where your grandchild lives. No state law is going to automatically give you the right to visit your grandchild, but in some states you can hire a family law attorney and go to court to ask for visitation. In those states, a judge will make the final decision after looking at your family situation.

All 50 states once had laws that gave grandparents the right to ask the court to consider their request to visit their grandchildren. This is not true anymore. In many states, courts have made grandparent visitation laws invalid, deciding that they go against the rights of the parents. In those states grandparents can't ask the court to consider their request to visit with their grandchildren.

In some states, the visitation laws have been upheld by the courts. In those states the grandparents have to prove in court that they should be able to visit their grandchildren. This is hard to do. In some of these states the laws say the court should decide based on what is in the best interest of the child. In other states the grandparents have to prove that the grandchild will be harmed if he or she does not visit with the grandparents.

A family law attorney can tell you whether the grandparent visitation law in the state where your grandchild lives has been upheld or made invalid by the courts.

Resolving Visitation Issues

Going to court costs money. It can also be very upsetting. Before you decide to go to court, try some other ways to resolve the problem. Here are some tips:

Are the grandchild's parents getting a divorce? Ask them to set up a visiting schedule for you as part of their divorce agreement. This could help you avoid problems in the future.
Try mending your relationship with your grandchild's parents. You may be able to work out a solution that fits both your needs.
Think about using a trained mediator. Mediators help people come to an agreement. Each side gives a little. And each side wins something. This option doesn't cost much. It could help you see your grandchild. It could also help keep you out of court. To find a trained mediator you can call the court house, look in the yellow pages, or search on the internet.
Keep in touch with your grandchild. Send cards and gifts. Call on the telephone. Keep a record of all the times you try to contact the child. This will help you show a mediator or judge that you have a strong interest in your grandchild.
While your grandchildren will in some ways automatically be in the middle of the visitation problem, never put them on the spot or talk badly about their parents to them. That will only hurt your grandchild (and your chances of getting visitation ) in the long run.
Do you have to go to court? Use an attorney who has experience with family law issues in the state where the grandchild lives.

Here is the thing ... I have already had a lawyer tell me that we could file for visitation with the court but even though Tomas lived with us for a year, the judge might not grant visitation.

The judge allowed the baby's mother to terminate child support from the baby's father. The attorney was appalled. He said if the judge would do that, it's likely he/she would also rule against grandparent visitation.

I still have more to learn.

As for advocacy...I would like to learn to be an advocate for grandparents' rights. I have one contact number and I think I will also contact the AARP and see if this is something I can do.

I love all my grandkids. Four of them know it, I am sure they do. I don't know what Little T thinks.

We love you, Little T...Pop-pop, Uncle Billy, Aunt Heidi, Aunt Kristin & I. We will always love you and we will always miss you. Maybe this is the only way you will know it.

Our New Blog!

Nana & Pop-pop's House

RPI Baker's Dozen Weekend

Baker's Dozen

1. I have rediscovered that I can't drive a 6 hour trip on my own anymore. It was wonderful to have help with the drive up, thanks, Billy!
2. Staying in a dorm room on campus for student orientation wasn't such a great idea. There wasn't any TV, radio or alarm clock. There wasn't even a chair to sit in; I had to go scavenge one.
3. It was very quiet both nights -- I know other parents stayed on campus; were they all in different buildings or something?
4. The schedule kept us busy and running from early in the morning to evening!
5. The staff at RPI were all very friendly and accommodating. I explained my mobility problem and they instantly accommodated me. It was fun riding around campus in a golf cart!
6. The food was delicious! The portions were small...this isn't what they're feeding the kids, is it? I don't think so!
7. I met so many nice parents! Some meetings seemed "meant to be" -- like meeting the mom of a student who is studying the same form of karate as Billy!
8. We had an awful lot of information thrown at us. Luckily, most of it was useful. I get annoyed when speakers just ramble on and that didn't happen.
9. A couple of glitches: my last name was spelled wrong -- Hossey! And Billy and I were both sent to the wrong advisor. Not to worry, it all worked out
10. There was a lot of traffic on the way back! :P
11. I missed TB and the girls a lot and was so happy to get home.
12. I got to get a good paying job!!!!!

This is where I stayed over the weekend!

The books arrived

On Saturday, TB and I sent books out to our grandkiddies. We weren't too worried about Taylor and Nik getting their books and so we sent them media, meaning that they should receive the books by the weekend if not before. We weren't so sure about T, though, and so we sent the books certified. Linda signed for them so at least we know that they got there...we can't guarantee that Linda will give them to T but we know they got there.

I got my car back today just in time to take Billy back up to RPI tomorrow. Today was a day full of doctor appointments and I'm so done with waiting rooms this week!

Ten on Tuesday:

10 People Who Inspire You

1. Jesus
2. Oma
3. TB
4. Claire Gibson, the one who inspired me to take interpreting courses
5. The Kids & grandkids
6. Harry Chapin
7. Mother Theresa
8. Helen Keller
9. Eleanor Roosevelt
10. Abraham Lincoln

Enforced Day Off

Some time last year, I started having trouble with the sliding door of my van. I brushed up against a sign late one night coming home from LI but TB didn't think that would cause the mechanism to malfunction. Anyway, when we took the car to the dealership, the mechanic claimed that the whole door had to be replaced at a cost of $1000! Needless to say, we decided to just "live" with it. Apparently, though, it hasn't been closing all the way and has been draining the battery.

Yesterday, it wouldn't start after I'd been shopping at Acme. Luckily Billy was with me and 2 kind hearted Samaritans helped us. The first went home to get his jumper cables -- and returned -- and the second one had a battery pack to jump start a car. It worked! We stayed long enough to thank the first Samaritan and then went on home. Later, Billy and TB took the car to the dealership. At that point, the mechanic said just the mechanism had to be replaced and it would cost around $300. Still expensive but much better than the first quote!

I guess it makes a big difference WHO brings the car in ... a woman or a man. :P

TB's mom has been home a couple days now and was feeling better when we last talked to her. She's supposed to see her regular doctor this week to try and figure out what's going on. She was still feeling dizzy and her face was flushed when I brought her home. I didn't feel real good about leaving her there but she didn't want to come back to the house with me. TB checked in with her later and she was doing better.

So I had to cancel a doctor's appointment but I had extra time to sit and listen to an online presentation about starting a home based business. It looks really good so far, checked out with the BBB and so I'm going to do some more digging and checking into it. I guess I'd describe it as something like Tupperware...

Tuesday Twosome

1. Two people that are important to you that have moved away/or you have moved away from:

I moved away from Oma and Terri (relatives in-law)

2. Two people that you wish would move away:

I can't think of any that I wish would move away

3. Two events in your life that you deem "life-changing":

There have been many...I'll say my marriages to Rich and TB

4. Two events in your life that you wish never happened:

Rich's death
Estrangement between me & my parents & brother

5. Two things you want to accomplish in the next two years:

Lose weight
Write a complete story!

It's gonna be a busy day...

TB's sister Pam called last night to let us know that she took their mom to the ER. Her blood pressure was way up and she wasn't feeling well. The doctors ran a whole bunch of tests and the good news is that the results were all negative. They're not sure why she was feeling so unwell and so they kept her overnight in the hospital. Now she is just waiting to be discharged and then we'll go pick her up and take her home. It's going to be quite hectic because TB's old friends are coming to visit this afternoon. We thought we'd be able to pick his mom up this morning but it doesn't look like it's going to happen. This afternoon should be very interesting.

Unconscious Mutterings:

1. Do-it-yourself:: easy
2. Pickpocket:: thief
3. Ballet:: dance
4. Resumé:: job
5. Phenom:: fantastic
6. Love/Hate:: relationship
7. Unusual:: different
8. Intense:: strong
9. Interruption:: pain in the neck
10. Not enough:: more

Death toll rises in London bomb blasts

A light hearted Feline Friday entry just isn't appropriate today...

Better News

I am feeliing better about Tomas' safety today. I don't feel totally secure but I feel a little better. Linda says she is going to be staying long term with her aunt and uncle so DYFS will transfer her case to that county if that's so. They are going to check and see where the baby is during the week and whether that is a safe place. I have absolute confidence in Linda's aunt and it's a relief to me that the baby is there ... except that the aunt works during the day. It would have been nice for Linda to have her aunt's guidance. Although the aunt doesn't have kids she seems to have a lot of common sense when it comes to baby care. Without that, I'd be really scared for Tomas.

If nothing else, I hope DYFS will get Linda into some kind of parenting program so that she can learn better skills. The stuff I saw around here and the stuff I've heard about her parenting from other people makes my hair stand up on end.

All of us miss the baby terribly but there is nothing we can do while Linda is still bent on being vindictive. Heidi is hurting and is very angry at being deprived of seeing Tomas. She said Linda told her, I would never keep Tomas from you or your Mom and she is so upset that Linda lied to her. She did a lot in helping to take care of the baby, many times when Linda slept for hours and hours, and so she's grown close to Tomas too. People ask TB and me how we are holding up but always forget that this affects Heidi too.

Maybe Linda thinks that TB hates her but he doesn't. He loves her but she's hurt him very badly with this most recent betrayal of trust. Maybe someday she'll wake up and realize what she's doing.

Thursday Threesome:

Onesome: Premium-- Have you tried any of the fast food empire's 'Premium' sandwiches lately? Was it any good?

No, I've been staying away from fast food places because of the high fat content in the sandwiches.

Twosome: Chicken-- Chicken, beef, fish, tofu... What's your dietary staple?

Chicken. Beef isn't so healthy, I can't get my mind around eating tofu and I have a psychological gag reflex with fish. It happened when I was a little girl and I saw my mother choke on a fish bone. I remember my grandfather pounding her on the back and her face turning red...it scared me so badly that even now when I eat fish I feel like my throat is closing up.

Threesome: Sandwich-- Let's do lunch! Do we head for that fast food place? ...or will noon find us over at your favorite deli noshing down?

No fast food place! I really like Subway, which is more like a deli place right? I also like Salad Works a lot although it's pretty pricey.

Now for the rest of summer...

I was happy that Kristin got to see the fireworks with friends of hers. I felt like I ought to take the kids because I remember how much I love them...in my present condition, though, it was the last thing I wanted to do. Kristin enjoyed herself very much and I felt good about her being with this particular friend. I like the parents, they seem responsible and very friendly. So many other parents of friends are either not there or sort of closed up.

TB conked out around 9:30 because he hadn't been sleeping well and had to work early. I watched the celebration in Philadelphia, enjoying Elton John's performance very much! He looked like he was enjoying himself and was totally engaged with the audience. He was really happy that Philadelphia was sponsoring this AIDS awareness concert--the only city in the US to do anything like this. Sir Elton can't get the high notes anymore but he sounded great. As I watched him, I thought about how we've aged, us Baby Boomers. Ah well.

Today Heidi and I went to see a therapist to deal with grief (the loss of Tomas) and anger. I liked the therapist.

Ten on Tuesday

Baker's Dozen Fourth

Baker's Dozen

1. War of the Worlds was totally awesome and kept me on the edge of my seat in spite of the couple of problems I had with the storyline
2. Tim Robbins is an excellent actor. I was surprised to see him in WOTW but was very impressed with his performance, which was very chilling in one scene I don't want to spoil for others
3. Tom Cruise should have kept his mouth shut about chemical imbalances, depression, and treatment with medications. I didn't think it would bother me much but everytime his character got ragged on by one of his character kids, I thought: "Good! Know-it-all! What do you know about postpartum depression?"
4. I bet Steven Spielberg wishes Cruise kept his mouth shut about that and his engagement to Katie.
5. The heat wave broke and we're having a pretty nice holiday weekend!
6. Thank goodness for friends -- one of Kristin's friends is going on base to see the fireworks and invited her along. Now I don't feel like I have to go. Don't get me wrong, I love fireworks but these days, I only would want to go to beach fireworks. Otherwise, I'm hot, sticky, unhappy with port-a-potties and wondering how many of the skeeters that just bit me have the West Nile virus!
7. The Supreme Court made another bogus decision -- a battered woman who has a protective warrant on the man and isn't able to get it enforced ... even if he kills her ... has no recourse against the stupid police department!
8. The Supreme Court has already reversed grandparent visitation rights. They've basically said the government can take your house if a business wants to build there... what more damage are they going to do? And Sandra Day O'Connor resigned, God help us!
9. I have the right to write or call as many state & federal senators and representatives to express my feelings on lack of grandparent visitation rights. If an agency calls me, I have the right to tells it as I sees it.
10. I am so happy that Yahoo radio is playing special 4th of July music today. I hope I hear Ray Charles' version of "America The Beautiful"
11. Our dog has been letting us know that he does not appreciate the neighbors' fireworks. :P
12. Which coverage of the fireworks should I watch tonight -- DC's or Philadephia's? Hmmm....

Feline Friday: I Am Beautiful

Mouse: Ah, a beautiful headshot of moi!

Here's what it took to get it:

What, you with the camera? Again?

BOR-ing!

You can't bribe me with treats! I am not a food whore!

Eh, what's that? A contract for head shots and an exclusive lay-out just for me? Wait a minute! Let me sit up pretty!

Top 5 on Friday:

Top five songs with animals in the title.

"The Lion Sleeps Tonight" by the Tokens
"Cat's in the Cradle" by Harry Chapin
"White Rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane
"Who Let the Dogs Out?" by Baha
"Free Bird" by Lynyrd Skynyrd