Scribblings

Another Crisis

So we had another mess yesterday but we're going to try and work it out. Part of it comes from the fact that we all need to talk to each other about resentments that are building up. At the dinner table, the girls had some grievances against Linda who didn't come down for dinner. I got pretty pissy about things too ... the fact that she doesn't use a seat belt if she drives my kids around and also that she was smoking again in front of the girls. TB, who is filled to capacity with his own issues, couldn't handle it and felt like he had to do something so he exploded.

So like I said, we agreed to talk things out. TB made a request that I absolutely agree with: if someone has issues with Linda, they are to take it to her directly. And if she's not at the table, we shouldn't complain about her even to vent. TB, being a guy, feels like he needs to take action to solve a problem that's presented although women just like to kvetch and vent. So it's not fair to TB or to Linda either.

The stress is horrible. TB hasn't been able to sleep right and I have major spasms in my back again and also in my arm. I told Linda I didn't think I could safely babysit T tomorrow because I'm afraid I can't lift him. So she was going to ask her friend to babysit while she's at work.

As for the car ... well, we have to work that one out. I don't like it that Linda has to use my car but really, at this point I think I just have to just put up with it. She can't afford her own car yet. She might be able to move up with this job she has and I'd really like to see her be able to support herself and T. So ... I'll just deal with it for now.

About taking care of T while I'm having these spasms, I think I'll have to be honest and say I just can't do it right now. This is one area where I think it would be bad if I just tried to tough it out because if I can't pick up T to feed him or change him without bringing on more pain then where would I turn if I discovered I really couldn't do it? I'm scheduled for an Xray on Tuesday night but I don't think it'll show anything. Blah.

I let Billy drive the girls to the movie to see The Aviator figuring it would be better for them to just get out for a while. Billy has a very logical mind and sees things clearly when he's not involved. He sees very clearly that TB and I have good reason to be upset ... we just need to communicate it better. Heidi is too emotionally involved to think straight about what is going on and Kristin is very affected too although she tries to hide it.

So we'll just pray.

Unconscious Mutterings

I say ... and you think ...

1. You’ve got a friend:: James Taylor
2. Immigration:: deportation
3. Waitress:: Prospectors
4. Snickers:: candy
5. Recognize::realize
6. Concept:: idea
7. Birthday:: December
8. Told you so:: Nyah nyah
9. Unlikely:: won't happen
10. Extension:: cord

Best & the Worst

I just finished reading Still Life With Crows by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child. Usually I don't like mystery or romance genres because the formulas are just not my cup of tea. I'd gotten this book, though, because the title sounded so intriguing. I liked the eccentric Sherlock Holmes type FBI agent Pendergast but that was about it. I found the other characters to be too stereotypical and the plot pretty unbelievable at times. I mean, come on, what FBI agent would hire a punk teenager as an assistant?

I also found the mystery surrounding the murders and the serial killer to be pretty contrived. I had to suspend belief totally and tell myself, okay, so just think of this as a silly horror movie and just try to laugh at it. It was the worst book I've ever finished reading in recent memory.

I figured out that there must be other books in the Pendergast series fairly early on. Still, it would have been better to have left some irrelevant (to this story) scenes out of this book ... like Wren and the museum. I thought, who the heck is this person and why is he in the book and who cares who seems to be following him? If it was supposed to be a red herring it was way too obvious.

So ... I would not recommend this book to anyone except for mystery fans.

Saturday Special:

Entertaining Best & Worst...

1. Best and Worst Book Read:

Best: To Kill A Mockingbird
Worst: Still Life With Crows

2. Best and Worst Movie Seen:

Best: Casablanca with Humphrey Bogart & Ingrid Bergman
Worst: Men at Work with Emilio Estevez & Charlie Sheen

3. Best and Worst TV Show watched:

Best Comedy: All in the Family
Best Drama: ER
Worst Comedy: Green Acres
Worst Drama: Bay Watch

Feline Friday ... Mouse

Mouse has a really cool story too.

We adopted Mouse about 6 months after we got Amber. Amber is a beautiful cat but wasn't particularly loving with the kids. Over the holidays, we went and stayed with the kids' grandparents and Heidi developed a bond with Snowshoe, one of their 5 cats. Well, Heidi wanted to have a cat of her own to feel close to and so I said, yeah, we could adopt another cat and to heck with the landlord.

First we went to Petsmart to see if they had any adoptable cats and they did but we couldn't bear to part them. Two cats I could handle but I felt three would be too much. From there, we went to the animal shelter in our village. Heidi fell in love with the very first one we saw, a friendly tuxedo. We did visit a couple of the other cats but Heidi really connected with the first cat and so we decided we'd take her.

There was a small fee to pay the shelter and as I was paying that, I was chatting with the officer in charge. I found out that the cat's name was Mouse and she'd been brought in just the day before. The cat belonged to the man's wife. I had this sudden feeling I "knew" what had happened. "The man's wife died didn't she?" I asked.

The officer said, "How'd you know that?"

Because Heidi's dad died, I thought to myself, and he knew she wanted a cat. "I just did," I said. "This was meant to be."

Sometimes Heidi gets bummed because Mouse isn't as affectionate with her as she used to be. I suspect it's because Mouse knows who her meal ticket is (me) and also because I get to spend more time with her.

And TB, who wasn't a real fan of cats, now loves Amber and Mouse like they'd been born right into our family. It's really sweet to see him with the cats.

Update

So now we are having a big snow. It didn't really start until noon and doesn't seem to be sticking to the streets. It's pretty obvious the kids aren't going to get out early, oh well.

I went to the doctor for my back. She thinks it's probably muscular-skeletal, a gigantic spasm in my trapezius muscle (which covers most of my back!) and prescribed a new med called skelaxin. It works pretty well for about 20 minutes and then it seems to wear off fast. I feel better today than I did yesterday. I'm supposed to go get an Xray tomorrow of my cervical & thoracic spine but I guess we'll see what the snow does first, eh?

Billy won an award for being Best Speaker at his high school (from the debate club). It's a nice placque with a judge's ... what do you call their hammer? :D Anyway, apparently he beat out a kid who thought he would get the award because of winning "first speaker" at various debates. If Billy didn't already want to be an engineer, I'd say he'd have it in him to be a lawyer.

Heidi's participating in the heart art competition for Deborah Heart & Lung Hospital. The judges are going to pick the winners on Sunday.

Kristin's joining volleyball club. That was the only sport I really enjoyed playing in high school and I'm glad she's participating.

I miss baby Tomas! He is spending the rest of the week (until Sunday) with Kennan. I'm not sure I get that. Kennan starts his new job Monday which is a good thing since he is so far behind in his child support payments. But why would Linda give him until Sunday? If it was me, I wouldn't be able to get through 4 days without my baby! Being parted from Billy when he goes to college is going to be really traumatic!

Linda finally paid us some more money but it's going to take a while for her to catch up.

Thursday Threesome:

::Sweet Potato Queens' Field Guide to Men::

Onesome: Sweet Potato-- Sweet potatoes always remind me of thanksgiving which brings me to food...what is your all time favorite holiday food that you wish you'd get a chance to eat at other times?

Corned beef and cabbage, and we would eat them year round too except that corned beef usually isn't on sale

Twosome: Queens'-- do you follow what Prince Charles and others are up to? What do you think about the Queen not going to the wedding?

I don't make it a point to follow the lives of the royals. This is sort of funny in a mean way. The prince and Camilla can't seem to get anything to go right for them. I think the Queen is probably having a good laugh about this. She says she isn't going because she doesn't want to turn the wedding into a big production ... which is what she's doing by not going. I think she disapproves and just doesn't want to go. Good for her.

Threesome: Field Guide to Men-- when it comes to the opposite sex, do you feel you have a grasp on 'em - or do they continue to just surprise you?

Well, since they are from a different planet entirely they continue to surprise me. But who wants predictability all the time?

3X Thursday:

1. How well do you eat? What's your definition of 'eating healthy'?

I think I eat healthily most of the time. By that, I mean I don't eat a lot of processed or junk food. We eat fresh or frozen vegetables, lean cuts of meat or chicken most of the time, and whole grains.

2. Do you get any exercise on a regular basis? What's your definition of 'a regular basis', and what do you do?

I used to but not now. I used to walk at least a half hour every day, Monday to Friday. I also used to swim a lot. I need to get back to both walking and swimming.

3. Do you take vitamins or supplements? Why/Why not? If you do, what do you take?

I take both, mostly because as I get older I need the supplements ... like calcium. I don't think I drink enough milk to get all the calcium I need and I don't get it from other sources so I take about 1500 mg a day as a supplement. I also take a multivitamin which has iron in it, Co-Q10 & flax seed (oil for the antioxidants), glucosamine and MSM (for my joints) & echinacea for my immune system

Bonus Question for Comments: Can you tell you and your body are getting older? If so, how?

Yes, sadly I can. I'm not as flexible as I used to be. My joints are stiffening and my muscles go into spasm easily. I hate that. My joints pop and creak. My skin is thinner and drier.

Wednesday Whatevers

1. Is it fun answering these random questions?

Sometimes
2. What would you do if Wednesday Whatevers closed?

Find another meme

3. Do windows serve any other purpose than letting in light?

For me they do! I get to look out and see what is going on in the world. And it's a way to entertain Tomas, too, because he loves to look out windows

Ow!

I did something really bad to my shoulders or neck or something. I have been having such terrible spasms I can barely move. I took some ibuprofen & tylenol but I think I'm going to have to take the ultracet now that the girls are home. I'm not sure what I did. I was playing with Tomas on the floor but not strenuously. I remember feeling like my shoulders were beginning to spaz out a little and I figured I'd take it easy. But then when I was feeding T, it felt like something was tearing in my back. It hurt right down to my wrists and took my breath away. The pain meds have helped a little bit but boy! this is really bad! I got out the massager and was running it over my neck and shoulders and across my back. In a way it felt good but when it was on my neck I had a sudden jolt and thought I would pass out. Grrr...maybe I'll need to go to the doctor!

Weekend in review

Baker's Dozen

1. It's time to lose more weight! I can't fit into a college student's seat!
2. Having been an assertive interpreter is helpful in finding a comfortable chair to sit in when one doesn't fit in a college student's seat!
3. It's not wise to schedule an all day class in a hot cramped room
4. Chinese buffet is especially delicious when you haven't eaten since breakfast
5. A mother is never over worrying about her kids ... especially when they are out driving home from work on a Saturday night ... when 1 in 5 people are driving impaired!
6. I am really done with snow this year
7. Wellbutrin does not agree with me and I'm not taking it anymore!
8. I signed up my kitties on a website called catster and have become pretty addicted to it!
9. Puppy ear infections are very unpleasant to deal with
10. I also need to lose more weight so I can keep up with Tomas!
11. I am surprised to realize that I miss having light suppers on Sundays!
12. Jamie Foxx has got to win an Oscar for Best Actor (in Ray) -- he was totally awesome!

Catch-Up Sunday

Cat lovers or not, check out this week's Carnival of the Cats, hosted by Flying Space Monkey. No matter how bad a day I have, I can never stay upset or stressed looking at pictures of cats or babies.

I can't believe we're supposed to get snow tonight. It felt warm outside and so I suppose if we get some, it won't stick. I also can't believe the weekend is almost over!

Friday: Heidi and I had our weekly visit with Dr. R. He started to give her that depression scale from hell test and I thought to myself, well, we'll never get out of here but she seemed to "get it" and responded rather easily. It was pretty clear, though, that she's not feeling all that much better and so he decided to increase her Stratera. I am a little concerned but at this point, I'm willing to see if it helps her. Heidi's ammonia level was high but Dr. R said it's a very sensitive test and is frequently wrong so we're going to have that test repeated.

Then there's me ... I mentioned that I've got cravings again and so he decided to put me on Wellbutrin because he's afraid that the prozac is beginning to lose it's efficacy on me. Oh no! My mood has actually been better the last couple of weeks. I'm not sure how Wellbutrin is going to interact with all the other meds I'm taking. I'm beginning to feel like a medicine cabinet. :P

Billy was accepted by the Rochester Institute of Technology! I am so thrilled ... he seemed pleased but not especially excited. I know how much he wants to go to MIT but it's so competitive and I don't think he's got the SAT scores for it. He wants to wait and hear from Rensselaer and Georgia Tech as well. He also took the late night shift at work and so I asked Linda to pick him up so that he could make a little money.

On Saturday, Linda babysat for a friend of hers. She'd told us she would pay us $100 and gave me $70 when she got in late last night. Billy took the car to and from work all by himself ... I think that's the first time. He was working a closing shift and although I was really worried about it, he got back just fine in one piece. It didn't help that TB and I were at a defensive driving course all day and had learned that on weekend nights, 1 of 5 drivers are impaired.

This morning TB and I had a pleasant interlude. He'd gotten some donuts (yeah, part of that stupid craving that's popped back up) and later on, we took the girls out shopping. Linda had given Heidi some money on Friday (from Kennan, she said) and Billy had paid Kristin for watching Buddy so they both had cash to spend. It was nice but my ankle began aching and throbbing. I didn't take any ultracet because I was trying Wellbutrin for the first time and didn't want an interaction while we were out. Unfortunately, I'd also forgotten to take any ibuprofen. The insert for my shoes really help but that torn ligament has a way to go before it's healed.

Kennan brought Tomas home this morning. It's so good to have the baby back but he sure is cranky! I think all this bouncing back and forth between people unsettles him and he's still got a cold.

So now I'm just trying to catch up on everything and then relax with a good book and TB.

Unconscious Mutterings:

I say ... and you think ...

1. Dirty work:: cleaning the toilet
2. Shopkeeper:: owner
3. Goodness:: purity
4. Yearning:: wishing
5. Show and tell:: toys
6. Trapped:: stuck
7. Malcolm:: in the Middle
8. Season:: winter
9. Bestseller:: novel
10. Desk::chair

Feline Friday ... Amber

This is my favorite picture of Amber, taken by TB recently. For more pet pictures, click here

I have almost always adopted my kitties ... or they adopted me, usually from kittenhood. Amber and Mouse were both much older and it was the first time I tried adopting cats. They're great!

We got Amber the summer after Rich died. When we moved from MD to NY we had to give up our pet cat because the landlord adamantly refused to allow us to have any animals of any kind. We were all heartbroken. In the middle of the summer, a friend of mine called and asked if we could take in a cat who would have to go to the shelter if we couldn't help. Apparently her friend was moving into an apartment with a landlord who refused pets.

I started to say, I wish we could but we can't. Then I thought, why not? I don't care if my landlord gets mad. We've just had a devastating tragedy, this cat needs a home and I bet all of us would benefit from her coming to live with us. So I said, "yeah, let's get it a try!"

Amber is a beautiful cat. She was pretty big when her owner brought her over and I was surprised to hear that she was just nine months old. I didn't really believe it but thought, who cares? Amber appeared well cared for and had several toys. She'd been spayed and was on a special diet for hairballs. Her owner seemed heartbroken and I could understand. We'd been through that ourselves.

Amber hid from us for a week. I knew she was using the box and eating the food but otherwise we didn't see her. I felt disappointed because she seemed shy or afraid of us. After a week, though, she began to come out into the open and warmed up to me. She would hide from the kids a lot but she always came to me. I loved stroking her long silky fur.

Once I married TB and we moved to NJ, Amber didn't hide as long. She took to TB almost from the start, especially after I suggested that he feed her a piece of ham. He took this picture of her in her favorite perch in his office. She goes to see him every day, keeping him company and looking for some affection or some catnip.

And she's grown! I think she's even twice as big now as she was when I first got her! I wonder if she is a Maine coon cat? Or maybe a Norwegian Forest Cat? Her owner never said one way or the other. It doesn't matter. Whatever she is, she is sweet and loving and a very valuable addition to our family!

Friday Five:

1. If you could have anything you wanted to eat for a day, what would you choose for your meals and snacks?

Just for the day? I would be very bad. I would have a breakfast of bacon, eggs, and French toast. I'd have half a grapefruit covered in sugar and a pot of coffee with cream. For lunch I would have a thick deli sandwich with pickles, coleslaw and potato chips. For dinner, I would have a prime rib, baked potato dripping with butter and topped with sour cream, a big salad with Ranch dressing and soda or water. And for snacks and dessert I'd have chocolate, chocolate, and more chocolate!

2. Is there ever a dish/food or dessert you wanted to try but never had the opportunity, what is it?

I can't think of anything new but I've got my eyes open!

3. What's a dish/food or dessert you've tried that you wish you hadn't?

Shark fin soup

4. Ever watch cooking shows? (i.e. "Great Chefs," "Epicurious," etc.)

I used to but haven't in a very long time. I used to watch "Emeril" a lot

5. Are you hungry yet?

Oh my gosh yes, I wonder if I can convince TB to go out? ;)

Yesterday

Yesterday went pretty well but I'm still very sleepy this morning. I could lie down and nap again but I know Linda will be leaving for work soon!

What a lot of driving yesterday! I dropped Linda at work because I needed to take the girls to the dentist later. I took Tomas with me to the grocery store and the library. He liked the look of the library and I borrowed some books to read to him. There's a little playroom with some toys I know he'd enjoy. There's a Tuesday program for toddlers and I signed him up. My kids used to love to go to the library.

He is having a really hard time drinking from almost all the sippy cups. Linda decided she was going to take the bottle away from him period. She'd bought a lot of sippy cups that have these valves to make them spill proof ... they're impossible for him to drink. He doesn't have the strength or doesn't know how to get the valve to work. Even I have trouble! He's been really grumpy because I think he misses the milk and he's thirsty. I found one cup he can drink from. There's no valve and so it's not spill proof but at least he can drink from it. Poor kid. I don't think this is the right way to go about it but then what do I know? I'm just the old retarded nana.

Let's see if I get my old energy back.

Thursday Threesome:

::Mountains, Valleys and Streams::

Onesome: Mountains-- What is the elevation where you live? Do you like it there or would you prefer something a little different?

It's 80 tall feet! I have driven around in the mountains and they scare me so I don't think I'd want to live in the Catskills or Poconos. I'm more a flat land, beach person.

Twosome: Valleys-- When you travel, do you have any particular valley or area you like to pass through on the way from here to there? ...and is there any route you'll take just for the scenery even if it's just a tad longer or more out of the way?

There aren't any scenic routes around here that I'd go out of my way to see. When I'm travelling, I'm usually on boring 95 and haven't come across any area that I really like to pass through.

Threesome: and Streams-- Do you have a stream you like to walk along and just think and enjoy the view? How about a netaphorical one if you don't have a real one close by?

I like all bodies of water, the bigger the better. I do enjoy the view and I do daydream a lot when I walk along a stream, river or lake.

Wednesday Whatevers

1. How do accents come about?

I know it's because in different parts of the country/the world people have different speech patterns. Like, in the south, speech is drawn out -- well, drawled -- and in New England it's clipped and faster. Sometimes it's got to do with the influences from the native language of people who settled a colony. In the Appalachian Mountains, there were a lot of Irish and Scots settlers. Pennsylvania had a lot of German and Dutch settlers. When almost the entire community speaks the same language they are going to have their own words and their own inflections. So that's how it happens.

2. Why are certain brands more desirable over others?

They work better for whatever reason than others. Sometimes it's got to do with the quality. Sometimes it's just a matter of personal preference: taste, smell, appearance.

3. Why do we use different currencies?

Because everyone wants "my own" money, even countries.

Busy Day

Valentine's Day was very nice! TB brought me a dozen roses (my favorite!), sugar free candy (delicious), an adorable stuffed bear and a lovely card. I'd looked for a bear to give him to match his name (Teddy Bear) but I didn't see one I liked. I did find a totally cute gorilla called "Wild Thing" and TB loved it!

I took Kristin to the dr because she was just about in tears from pain. Apparently she hurt her neck and shoulder somehow but doesn't remember how she did it. Anyway, we wanted to rule out an ear infection.

Linda worked last night so we started watching Little T in the late afternoon. When she got home she reeked of smoke. Ugh. She is supposed to switch to days beginning tomorrow and I'm not sure how much writing time I will have anymore. I'm sure T will keep me busy, in addition to the other running around that needs to be done.

Heidi got a combined score of 1100 on her SATs, that's great! This is her first attempt and she's right where the average is for seniors taking the test. Next time she takes it, she'll have to write an essay and I feel that will give her a higher score. Her strengths lie in language arts.

The year is going so fast! Billy is graduating in just a few months! I can't believe my baby is going to college!

10 on Tuesday:

Ten Influential People in History

1. Jesus
2. Ghandi
3. Martin Luther King
4. Abraham Lincoln
5. John F. Kennedy
6. Eleanor Roosevelt
7. FDR
8. Winston Churchill
9. Princess Diana of Wales
10. Mother Theresa

Unconscious Mutterings:

I think ... and you say ...

1. Judge:: Judy
2. Detroit:: Michigan
3. Hyphen:: dash
4. Get it right:: no mistakes
5. Pulsating:: throbbing
6. Yoga:: relaxation
7. Memorable:: unforgettable
8. Financial advisor:: broker
9. Ten million:: dollars
10. I:: me

Out in the Open Now

Today TB took me out to Moorestown to get the orthotics that Dr. Raimondo prescribed for me in January. I'd bought a new pair of shoes in November but never wore them because I began wearing a splint and was afraid they'd get ruined. The inserts fit inside my new shoes just great and I've been wearing them all day so far. I have to admit there is pain but I've been taking ultracet and ibuprofen. I'm supposed to see the doctor again in March but if the pain is unbearable I'll call next week. I can tell, though, that the inserts will help.

Linda was sent home early from work and before she came into the house, she had a cigarette at the end of the driveway. It's all out in the open now I guess. TB knows that she's been smoking and he's very upset because that was one of the conditions he gave for her moving in ... he said she had to quit. She was also supposed to stay in counseling, get job training through social services and start working on getting a high school diploma. None of it is happening anymore.

I am so confused and frustrated. No, I don't want to tell Linda to go. She has nowhere to go and there is Tomas to consider. No, I don't want to take custody of Tomas from her. That would be too awful for everyone.

I want her to be more responsible. I want her to pay her obligations before she spends her money. I want her to take better care of her health.

I don't think that's unreasonable.

Saturday Special

Preferred Food Facts

1. Prefer a Standard Oven or Microwave?

I prefer a standard oven for making dinner. The microwave is great for re-heating.

2. Prefer to Fry or Bake?

Bake

3. Prefer Cooking or Fast Food Meals?

As much as I like fast food for taste and convenience, it's very unhealthy. So I prefer to cook

4. Prefer Sit Down or On The Run Dinners?

Sit down! Who wants to eat on the run, you can't really enjoy your food!

Feline Friday 2

Last Friday I showed off pictures of Amber playing. This week I am showing off Mouse. You can see Amber in the background of some of the pix.

Mouse likes to pull herself along the bottom of the family room set. I had my camera out one day and was going to try and get pictures of her dragging herself along. But ... she noticed the strap of the camera first.

And, in the end, she just got bored. Ho hum. What ... this again?

FridayQ

FQ1: What's a sound that makes you happy? Makes you sad?

Laughter makes me happy ... it's contagious. Hearing Tomas cry makes me sad.

FQ2: What's a sound that makes you angry? Makes you calm?

A snotty tone of voice makes me angry and the sounds of the ocean waves calms me.

FQ3: What's a sound that makes you hungry? Makes you lose your appetite?

The popping sound of frying eggs or bacon will make me hungry. I can't think of any sound that would cause me to lose my appetite except for the sound of people fighting ... arguing.

FQ AUDIBLE: What sounds are you hearing right now?

"Born to Run" by Bruce Springsteen, Amber & Mouse meowing -- they are arguing over who can lie on the bed, and Tomas fussing

Stress

It's got to do with money, obligation and responsibilities and how we handle it ... and hurtful things said in anger.

When Linda got paid, she bought some other stuff instead of giving TB money for room and board. She got Tomas a box of diapers and some jars of food but there was other stuff too that was "want" rather than "need". So today TB asked, where's the rent money? and Linda said she'd only gotten paid $200 ... but she no longer had it. She said Tomas comes first which isn't what happened to all the money.

TB was upset and angry.

Things were said that shouldn't have been said.

The bottom line is, paying $300 a month isn't unreasonable for the use of the house, utilities, phone, cable, and car. Linda is supposed to be getting child support too and she'll be working more hours. It shouldn't be a burden ... but she needs to prioritize differently.

Tonight Heidi wanted candy and asked Billy if he had any money. He said no, he needs to save his money because the next time he gets paid he has to set aside car insurance money and has to pay Kristin and so that will leave him very little. Now that is planning. I'm sure there's stuff he'd like to buy with the money but he knows he can't.

That's life.

Thursday Threesome:

Nothing is certain but death and taxes --Benjamin Franklin

Onesome: Nothing is certain- Have you ever thought you had "Sure Thing?" Did it pay off or not?

I have thought I had a "sure thing" too many times and it didn't pay off. You'd think I'd learn. The "sure thing" usually involved a check that was supposed to arrive by a certain date or clear by a certain day. Everytime I assumed the money would be there, I'd buy something or pay a bill and then have to sweat bullets because the check didn't do what I thought it would when I thought! Sometimes it was a real disaster!

Twosome: But death- Do you belive in life after death?

Yes, I do. I believe in heaven and I think that our loved ones are all around us but we can't see them because they are in a different time continuum.

Threesome: and taxes- Have you got all your tax documents squared away and ready to work on? Or are you one of the people at the post office on April 15th?

I think it's all squared away. I remember signing the forms ... well, the federal is anyway.

Changes

Things went well for TB yesterday! I am so happy! The people at Cranbury were very nice to him. He has his own office and if things get really slow, he can work in the shop. It isn't heavy duct work like what hurt him at Halo. What a big relief! He is also the only sketcher in the office! He's been trying to brush up on his auto cad skills which he hasn't used in like 2 years. There isn't anyone in the place to ask if he gets stuck though. He'll have to call his old friend Charlie. But I think he'll do fine and won't it be great to be the senior sketcher if they do bring in more people?

Little T is in for some changes too. The nutritionist at WIC wants Linda to wean him off bottles completely and so we have a bunch of new sippy cups. She also wants Linda to cut back on T's milk consumption. He should be getting no more than 16 oz during the day. I'm hoping that T will want to eat a little more solid food, be it baby food or the stuff us big folk eat.

I got the kids' report cards in the mail. They all did great -- all of them got all As and Bs (except for Heidi's 'C' in art which totally surprised me). The only worry was that Billy and Heidi both flunked the physics midterm. Billy didn't do well on his calculus exam and same for Heidi in Spanish. I know that the midterms will impact their grades but ... hopefully that would have been reflected in their grades already?

Wednesday Whatevers

1. Are words or actions stronger, and why?

That's tough. Sometimes words are just words. Sometimes actions reinforce the meaning of the words much more strongly. Saying "I love you" is very meaningful but then when you show that love by the way you act it means so much more. I know TB loves me not only because he tells me but he shows me with the things he does every day.

2. What is the purpose of different fonts?

They add variety to life! :D

3. Why do we give nicknames?

Nicknames are given out of affection/love or regard and they just bring a person closer to you when you have a pet name for him or her.

First Day Back to Work

I'm hoping today went well for TB and he isn't in pain. He called some time after noon. He had gone to the Cranbury police station, which is where his new company is going to be putting in duct work. He was telling me he's got to measure it all out and then come back to the office and draw it. I asked if he was in any pain and he said, "not yet". Well, I hope there's no lifting. The fact that he's out measuring stuff to draw seemed good to me. He also sounded in cheerful spirits. Now I'm just waiting for him to get home. I'll bet he's hungry!

Heidi and I had our blood drawn for Dr. R this morning. What a to-do! Dr. R ordered so many tests we had to have 3 sheets each and the tech had to draw like 10 vials of blood!

Linda took Tomas to WIC for re-certification. The nutritionist told her to wean T off bottles because it would be "bad for his teeth". She stopped and got him these sippy cups. He's tried them before and seems to like them. Hopefully it won't be too difficult to get him used to drinking from a cup. My kids all drank from bottles until they were well over a year old. Oh well. The guidelines change all the time.

10 on Tuesday:

Ten Reasons Why Valentines Day is a Stupid Holiday

1. If you don't have a bf/gf/so/spouse you are screwed
2. It's all about candy
3. You gain unnecessary weight from uncreative gifts like candy
4. It used to be a popularity contest in school ... who got the most valentines? who got none?
5. the sentiments are sappy
6. Cupid looks silly
7. Hearts don't look like that in real life
8. it's just a manipulation of you to spend money on something foolish
9. it really sucks if you've just lost your bf/gf/so/spouse (through death, not breakup)
10. There's only one thing to do and everyone knows it

Second Hand Smoke & Children

I am really glad that Kennan gets to spend time with Little T on the weekends. It's good for both of them.

What's not so good is that T is exposed to second hand smoke in the house, thanks to Kennan's brother-in-law.

There's been a lot of studies about the effects of side stream smoking on kids. This article reports the latest research. Much of it was absolutely no surprise to me, particularly this statement:

People who were exposed as children to secondhand smoke for several hours on a daily basis were 3.6-times more likely to develop lung cancer during adulthood than their unexposed counterparts.

I was exposed to secondhand smoke for several hours on a daily basis for years. Both my parents smoked. So I won't be surprised if I get some respiratory ailment. But my kids have not had that and I hope they will never smoke or marry someone who does.

I wish I could inspire Kennan to demand his brother-in-law stop smoking in that house!

Baker's Dozen

1. I am so ready for spring! We had such nice weather this weekend and it was great to go out wearing a light jacket!
2. I was looking forward to the Super Bowl mostly because the hype would be over
3. O.T. (from the Eagles) really got on my nerves
4. I think that fans are too quick to blame their heroes for losing. I was disgusted with fans who complained about Donovan McNabb's performance
5. Is there an epidemic of parents starving kids?
6. Having free passes to the movies is a wonderful perk -- they are really very expensive! If it's not a great movie, I feel cheated paying so much
7. I discovered Friday cat blogging
8. Little T totally misses his mother when she works after he's brought back from a weekend with his daddy
9. Linda is sneaking smokes
10. I don't like the book I'm reading but am too stubborn to put it down
11. I think I lost more weight but won't know until I get on the scale
12. I really really want to buy the Ray DVD

still from Million Dollar Baby, a movie I saw Saturday

Super Sunday

So today is the Super Bowl. I'm not planning on watching but I do hope the Eagles win. I like Donovan McNabb's mom ;) and I hope she goes to Disney World. Remember those commercials?

Unconscious Mutterings:

I say and you think ...

1. Shelter:: safety
2. Karate Kid:: Ralph Macchio
3. Andrew:: McCarthy
4. Rib:: Eve
5. Push it:: keep going
6. Creep:: jerk
7. Chainlink:: fence
8. Squash:: vegetable
9. No mercy:: pitiless
10. Superhero:: Superman

So you say....
Borrowed this from a blog I saw on Blog Explosion...

1. What time did you get up this morning?

8:15 a.m.

2. Diamonds or pearls?

Diamonds

3. What was the last film you saw at the Cinema?

"In Good Company"--today

4. What is your favorite TV show?

CSI

5. What did you have for breakfast?

Boiled eggs & a buttered roll

6. What is your middle name?

May

7. What is your favorite cuisine?

Chinese

8. What foods do you dislike?

Fish, sushi, overcooked slimy vegetables

9. What kind of car do you drive?

2001 Toyota Sienna van

10. Favorite Sandwich?

Corned beef & Swiss on rye with brown mustard & mayo

11. What characteristic do you despise?

bigotry, selfishness, self-absorption

12. Favorite item of clothing?

baggy track pants

13. If you could go anywhere in the world for a holiday where would you go?

Ireland

14. What color is your bathroom?

We have 3. The master bath is a very light blue, bath on first floor is very light green, upstairs bath light yellow

15. Favorite brand of clothing?

Brand? What's On Sale

16. Where would you like to retire?

A beach along the east coast

17. Favorite time of the day?

Morning

18. What was your most memorable birthday?

They've all been pretty special

19. Where were you born?

Bay Shore, NY

20. Favorite sport to watch?

Bowling

21. What are you wearing right now?

stetch jeans & pull over shirt

22. What star sign are you?

Sagittarius

23. What fabric detergent do you use?

Xtra

24. Pepsi or Coke?

Diet Coke

25. Are you a morning person or a night owl?

I'm more of a morning person

26. What is your shoe size?

9

27. Do you have any pets?

3-4 yr old cat, Mouse, 3 year old cat Amber, 2 year old dog, Buddy

28. Any new exciting news you'd like to share with your family and friends?

I lost another pound

29. What did you want to be when you were little?

I wanted to be a writer

30. What are you meant to be doing today?

At the moment, what I'm doing now. ;-)

Things are a little brighter...

I am really nervous about posting that title. It's almost like I think I'll be jinxed or something! :P

Linda called last night and said her boss was offering to give her more hours during the week days. I told her to go for it. I have more energy for Little T during the day than I do later. Heidi can help me out when she gets home from school.

TB got an unemployment check from the union and he also got a small check from the workman's comp carrier ... apparently, they've decided to go back and honor their decision to pay him as if he has a 10% (or is it 15?) permanent disability. Then he starts work next Tuesday.

Now if I would just feel better myself!

Feline Friday

TB took these pictures of Amber last year. She really enjoyed batting her (then) new toy around!

Four For Friday

Q1: Ten years from now, how do you think new or emerging technologies will impact the job you have today?

I used to be an interpreter for the Deaf. When I left the field, video interpreting was just being introduced ... in other words, an interpreter at a remote location could sign a meeting which would be televised to the Deaf clients. It works like video conferencing. I can see this kind of interpreting becoming wide spread, especially in hospitals. It might address the interpreting shortage ... or it might burn through a staff of interpreters at the home office--I mean, the interpreter agency. That part is hard to tell.

Q2: The University of Colorado-Boulder is considering whether to dismiss a tenured member of the faculty for remarks made three years ago in a post-9/11 essay in which he likened the people who died in the World Trade Center attacks to Nazi war criminals. From The Boulder Daily Camera's editorial page: "True to form, [Ward] Churchill is unrepentant, refusing to apologize for comparing stockbrokers to genocidal maniacs, refusing even to admit one clear aim of his rant: to suggest that capitalist cogs in the twin towers got what was justifiably coming to them. When his remarks finally detonated a statewide explosion of outrage, Churchill remained as internally inconsistent as ever: He claimed to "mourn the victims" of the Sept. 11 attacks even as he once again likened "technocrats of empire" to Nazi murderers." Based on the information before you, do you think Professor Churchill should be dismissed from his teaching position at the University?

Why wasn't he fired 3 years ago? Frankly, it seems dumb to do it now. The right time would have been when he made the remarks and then wouldn't apologize. Some could argue that the guy has freedom of speech and he does ... but the University could take the position that his views doesn't reflect theirs and are in conflict.

Q3: Weyco, a Michigan-based health benefits administration company, grabbed national headlines this week after it started firing employees who refused to take a smoking test. According to various media reports, seven employees have left the company rather than be tested for smoking tobacco, and the company now says that it will not hire anyone who smokes. Do you think employers should be allowed to fire people who smoke outside of the workplace, or not hire those who do?

That's a hard question for me to answer. I don't like the idea of Big Brother (or Big Boss) dictating what we can and can't do off the job. What's next? Drinking? Extra marital affairs? But ... on the other hand, smokers can cost the company a lot of money in terms of health care. So I'm taking the easy way out and saying, I don't know.

Q4: Which team will you root for in this weekend's Super Bowl? If you could care less about the game, will you at least tune in to watch the commercials? If not, what do you plan on doing while the game's being played?

I will probably be online when the game is on. I'm not watching the commercials! I'm not interested in watching the game although I hope the Eagles win just because they are the local favorite.

Weekend Wonderings:

1. Would you say you have a good memory?

Most of the time I do. Sometimes I'll try to think of a specific name or an item and it dances around the tip of my tongue. It's very frustrating when I can't remember!

2. Have you ever taken an iq test?

Yes, everyone used to take them when I was a kid in school. Now the IQ tests aren't given to entire classes anymore.

3. Were/are you happy with your grades in school?

Yes, I didn't fail any classes!

Another Visit with Dr. R

Heidi and I missed our appointment last week because we all had that plague. It was rescheduled for today and so, armed with these big questionnaires, we braved forth at 5:40 a.m. for our appointment.

Yes, that early.

I have no idea why he sees patients so early. Maybe he's a morning person?

But ... when we got there, the office was dark and there were two other cars with people in them, waiting. Uh oh. The 6 and 6:15 appointments. It didn't look good. Happily, though, he showed up by 6:30 and since Heidi and I were 3rd in line, I didn't think we'd have to wait too long.

Dr. R seemed amazingly organized today ... and there was no infernal scale! Yay!

When he found out that Heidi is talented in art, he asked her if she'd like to participate in a contest to decorate the cover of his next book. He writes these booklets to give to organizations, schools and patients. Anyway, Heidi seemed surprised and flattered and said she'd give it a try.

Dr. R looked over her questionnaire and asked a few questions about her answers. He wants to try doubling her Zoloft prescription first and see if that helps. His eyebrows shot up at one group of questions. He showed us that her answers indicated she has ADD inattentive type.

Oh, great, the disability du jour. I remember watching some Dr. Phil shows where he complained that kids are being overdiagnosed and how you really can't tell except with an EEG. I thought about mentioning that to Dr. R but he already moved on. "Let's think about it a week," he said.

TB and I were supposed to fill out these booklets too. TB had trouble finishing his because the questions were very private. I filled mine out, though and Dr. R looked at my answers. He said, "Wow, maybe you have it too."

Good, something else I can blame my procrastination on! I love it! Not.

I was very happy that we weren't there for hours and hours and made it out in just an hour.

3 X Thursday:

1. Do you remember that moment when you discovered you could be a person to one or both of your parents, and not just 'the kid' anymore? What happened? If it hasn't happened yet, will it ever?

I can't remember the moment because I have never exactly been "the kid". Many times I was my parents' interpreter and I remember trying to explain what words meant (like 'escrow'). They would ask my advice when I got a little older and that kind of power was scary. When I was a kid, I always felt grown up ... but little.

2. Everyone has a passion. For some it's reading. For others, it's hiking in the Alps. When did you discover a passion of yours? How did you discover it? Is it still going strong?

My passion is writing. I was a little kid when I discovered that I loved to write stories. Too often I procrastinate or struggle with writer's block and so I haven't worked on a story in many months. I do write everyday, though, journal entries and other little things.

3. Everybody's had those moments in their lives when they've just snapped. A mid-life crisis if you will. Do you remember the circumstances of your most memorable 'snap'? What happened?

I was driving on the Southern State Parkway one morning on my way to work and I thought to myself, "I just can't do this. I can't be strong and I can't stand any more right now." I thought about driving off the highway and going home. I argued with myself for quite a few miles before I finally did get off the parkway and go home. Then I just cried and cried almost the rest of the day. This was some time in the year after Rich died and I snapped quite a few times then.

Bonus Question for Comments: Gotta ask it: Where were you on 9/11/2001? Do you remember that day? Explain.

I was interpreting at a school that trains displaced disabled adults. The Deaf clients were all busy doing their thing and I was trying to surf the web. I couldn't get any site to open up and it was puzzling and frustrating. Finally, I did manage to get on yahoo and I couldn't believe my eyes: there was an image of a plane crashing into the World Trade Center. The teachers began buzzing and I realized that they were learning what was going on too. The teachers decided not to announce it in class because they didn't want to start a panic and so we just monitored the news all that long long day. I called the schools to make sure my kids were all right and they were. I just couldn't get my mind around what had happened, particularly when the buildings collapsed. All those people, lost! All the innocent people in the planes and in the buildings -- I was just totally horrified and scared to think what might be coming next. For the first time, I was glad that Rich wasn't there to see what was going on in our crazy world. I was in a state of shock the rest of that day and throughout the next couple.

Thursday Threesome:

Onesome: All-- all the world's a stage... So what types of issues put you on your soapbox?

I tend to get going about lack of adequate health insurance and housing for Americans, homelessness, and the war in Iraq

Twosome: Things-- what sort of things are you most likely to purchase "spur of the moment" when shopping?

Books ... I am dangerous in a book store!

Threesome: Girl-- sugar and spice and everything nice? Come now, what are YOU really made of?

I think I have a soft outer crust, an inner one made of steel and a center made of marshmallows

Wednesday Whatevers

1. Is it easier to be responsible for only somebody else, or yourself, and why?

It's easier to be responsible just for me! It's so much easier to care for just one adult. I don't have to worry so much about eating when it's just me. I can sleep as little or as much as I want. I don't have to get dressed if I don't want to. It's easier but it's definitely not fulfilling!

2. Why do we keep track of dates?

Because they have special meaning to us because of an appointment or because they're linked to a loved one in some way or to a holiday

3. What do you get from being right?

Self-satisfaction

Little T's Birthday

It's so hard to believe that our little Tomas is a year old today! It seems like it was just yesterday that we all went to the hospital to see him. He was so tiny! He has changed so much over this year! There is a local news station, KYW, that shows pictures of babies on their birthdays. Two weeks ago, TB sent in a picture of little T with his name, pronounciation, where we live and his age. Well, the picture came out beautiful but the poor kid's name was misspelled (Thomas) and they said he was going to be two! Yeesh!

See baby pictures here.

Ten on Tuesday:

Ten Words/Phrases You Love to Use

1. Cool
2. Ya know?
3. like
4. Yeah
5. No way!
6. Oh yeah?
7. Hey
8. I love you
9. Nana's Little T
10. All right!