Scribblings

Turning the Corner...

I think we've turned the corner on this virus although I am not back to feeling good yet. I feel better than I did yesterday and the day before that and surely than the day before that but ... just when I think I'm okay I'll suddenly feel a wave of nausea or I'll get cramps in my tummy. Ugh.

Unconscious Mutterings:

1. Coroner:: Dr. Death
2. Mystify:: puzzle
3. Corroborate:: agree
4. Misinterpret:: misread
5. Humorless:: grim
6. Calculus:: math
7. Eye for an eye:: revenge
8. CPR:: save a life
9. Stitched:: sewed
10. Facility:: building

On the Mend

We're all feeling better, except Billy really hasn't eaten much since he got sick. Linda felt well enough to go to work and took T to his father's because no one else was quite up to taking care of a newly recovered from sick baby. I hope he doesn't get another round of the virus from Kennan's house, that would be too awful!

Four For Friday:

Q1: If a stranger leaves a voicemail message on your home phone for someone you don't know, do you call the person back to tell them they reached the wrong party? If your answer is no, are there any circumstances under which you think you would call the person back?

No, and the only time I would call the person back is if I think it's about an emergency of some kind

Q2: Currently, no federal laws exist which prohibit using a cell phone while operating a motor vehicle. Proponents of restricting cell phones while driving point to studies that show that their use while driving contributes to distractions, which lead to accidents. Opponents of these restrictions say there is insufficient evidence to conclude that mobile phones are any different from other distractions to drivers. What do you think...should automobile drivers be allowed to talk on the phone while driving?

Absolutely not! And I'm glad that in New Jersey, there is a law against talking on a cell phone and driving!

Q3: Industry conferences and trade shows afford their attendees with opportunities to see 'what's next'. For example, at the Outdoor Retailer Show, outdoor recreation industry professionals, i.e., manufacturers, retailers, guides, and the media, all get a sneak peek at the outdoor gear we'll see in stores at some point in the future. If you could choose to attend any one industry conference or trade show, complete with full access to everything and everybody at the show, which industry would you choose?

I guess I would want to go to a travel agent/vacation type show to see what packages would be available. I'd love to see different vacation spots and what accommodations there are and sites to see, etc.

Q4: Do you have a favorite weird food or weird drink combination? If so, what is it? If not, did you ever have one when you were growing up?

I don't think I have one now but when I was little, I loved to combine mashed potatoes, spinach and applesauce.

Plague House

Well, we are all sick in varying degrees of illness. TB is probably the "wellest" of us all; he got sick early on. Poor Little T has been sick since Monday. This virus hits babies hard. Billy, Heidi, Kristin and I all got sick yesterday. Heidi tried to go to school and got sick there, poor kid. I finally ate some rice around 5 this evening and so far I've been okay with it. Linda got sick sometime over night. We are a pathetic lot!

Thursday Threesome:

::Light or Dark::

Onesome: Light-- Light chocolate or dark chocolate? ...or no chocolate at all?

These days: no chocolate at all!

Twosome: or-- Yeah, easy stuff this week : Coffee with cream or black as night? Or maybe: colas or clear sodas? ...or just water, thank you?

Coffee with 2%, colas and my preference actually is water, thanks

Threesome: Dark-- Light-colored clothing or dark clothes? Which do you prefer to wear? Angel to goth, we're curious?

I like inbetween colors -- shades of blue and burgundy and purple.

My Life Is A Soap Opera!

Many thanks to everyone who responded to my post about babies and sodas. I've printed out the articles and gave some to Linda already.

So today:

I go to the orthopedic doctor and discover I have a torn ligament in my ankle. Uh oh! No walking on the dreadmill anytime soon! I need to get an insert the dr prescribed for my shoe.

Kristin's theater arts teachers say she hasn't been coming on Thursdays. She says she's been there. My head is spinning.

TB is sick again. He hasn't been well in a week or so it seems.

He called unemployment today and the agent told him he doesn't qualify because he hasn't worked in the last 18 months. But wait ... she called back about 5 minutes after TB got back into bed and pulled the covers over his head. Maybe he can quallify for some kind of disability something. They'll do a phone interview on February 7.

Meanwhile ... what are we going to do for money? How will we pay our bills?

Linda took T to the doctor as well. He stopped throwing up but he's had the runs ever since and a fever. Well, she came in at 4 in a big rush. She handed the baby over to Heidi and rattled off a bunch of stuff -- he's wet so he needs to be changed and he probably needs a bath. Then she starts running around because she says she's going to work. She tells me Tomas has a double ear infection and says he's to take Zithromax again. As she's bustling around, I say, "I don't think it's a good idea for you to go. The baby's sick."

She says she has to. She has to be able to pay Heidi and us and she needs the money. And Tomas isn't puking anymore. It's just diarrhea. As she runs out the door, I think (prophetically?) she just wants a break from the baby.

So.

Now I have one very sick husband, one very sick grandchild, one child who's not telling me everything ... and no money.

I started crying.

I'd made split pea soup and grilled cheese for dinner and it was just me, Billy, Heidi and Kristin eating ... just like the bad old days after Rich died. Heidi held the baby, who wasn't interested in anything.

The phone rings. It's Michele, wanting to find out what's up with the baby and wanting to tell me that the doctor found cysts on David's kidneys. Lots of people have them and so we're not talking surgery. They're going to do some more tests to see if David needs to go to a nephrologist.

The phone rings again almost as soon as I hang up. Some guy asks for Linda. I say, "She's at work."

"She is?" He says. He sounds confused.

Oh, no.

"You're there at work aren't you?" I ask. "And she isn't there?"

Yeah, he says. And his wallet is in Linda's car. No. It's in my car. He says that Linda called out sick. Really? So where the hell is she?

I've had enough. I go and wake TB. He calls the cell phone once and leaves a message. Everyone is upset except for Tomas who just wants to feel better. He cries a little and has another bout of the diarrhea. I change him and his sleeper too. Meantime, TB's gotten hold of Linda and is yelling at her. "Where are you?"

She says she's just leaving Target. He yells at her to come home and she says she is.

Tomas falls asleep again.

Linda finally gets home an hour later and comes in with all these bags. She walks to the back of the house trying to postpone the inevitable. TB gets madder and madder. They yell at each other. Linda thinks we're making a big deal out of nothing.

Ah. She took my car to go to work but then she didn't go to work. She went shopping. Her baby is sick. And we didn't know where she was. And all that is "nothing"? She says, "all you people" are making her crazy, always giving her grief about something. She decided not to go to work, she said, because she realized her baby was sick and that "all you people" were home complaining and not taking care of him.

WHAT?

TB said she could get out and she said she wanted to because she's going crazy living here and he said good.

I was still back on the "you people" complaining and not taking care of the baby. Heidi was furious too. TB stormed from the room. I said to Linda, "Right, so you figured we were going to sit here and complain and not take care of Tomas and so you went to Target."

Linda got up and left the house for a few minutes.

She came back in and apologized to Heidi for including her in the "you people" statement. Then she took Tomas from me and went upstairs.

What crisis will tomorrow bring?

Ten on Tuesday:

Ten Things that You Love About Winter

1. The Christmas season
2. Snow
3. Hot chocolate
4. Eating more soups & stews
5. New shows to watch on TV
6. Hoping for an early spring
7. Making snowmen
8. Sledding
9. Walking in new snow
10. Taking pictures of new snow

No Soda For Babies!

Apparently Linda gave Tomas some Mountain Dew. The kids gave her a hard time about it and she said it was just "a few drops" and then she got defensive about it, pointed to herself and said "MOTHER!" In other words, when it's your kid you get to screw with his diet and sleeping habits and stuff cuz you're the parent.

Then she left for work. Tomas began vomiting around 4 and his stomach hasn't settled yet!

AUUUUUGH!

You know what research on the internet shows? It's scary! More and more babies are given soda in their bottles before they are a year old! More and more babies are having their formula replaced with junk food like soda and fries.

My friend Nancy send some eye opening links and I found others as well. Read on:

Junk Food
Blog Article Babies Eating Fries & Soda

Dental Health
Epinions
WebMD

http://www.parentsplace.com/expert/nutritionist/qas/0,,240039_105268,00.html">Soda For Toddlers

10 Healthy Eating Tips
Soda Headache
Liquid Candy

The list goes on and on and on.

Parents, take the soda out of the bottles! Don't give the babies junk food like fries and hotdogs just because they're easier to prepare. Do we care about our kids' nutritional health or not?

Kristin is 13

Today is Kristin's birthday! All my "babies" are teenagers now!

We got a nice cake for Kristin cuz we managed to get out and go to the store. We also stopped so that we could get a gift to give her. At least this way she'll get to celebrate on her actual birthday!

Well, we got Tomas back last night but I wouldn't know it unless I remembered holding him. Linda and T are upstairs sleeping ... again. It seems like any time I am up, they are sleeping. It makes life difficult because when T sleeps almost all day, he wants to be awake at night ... and that's when we would like to sleep.

We have talked and talked to Linda about this.

NOW WHAT?

Baker's Dozen

1. Snow sure is beautiful when it's falling!
2. I almost wanted to be a kid again so I could go out and play in the snow
3. Then I remembered I could go out and play even if I am an adult
4. Then I realized how much my ankle was hurting and turned on the music instead
5. I don't get tired of watching Fellowship of the Ring
6. I sure love to listen to music!
7. Kristin built a cool looking snow man!
8. I missed having Tomas around for the big storm
9. It hasn't snowed this much in years!
10. There's not much else to do way out here except read, sleep, watch TV & surf the computer
11. I am frustrated that TB's insurance check didn't come until after the bank closed on Saturday
12. All my kids are growing up & becoming adults!!!!

Oh and for our snow pictures, Click here

It's Still Snowing!

I can't tell how much snow we've gotten in total but there is an awful lot out there! It looks so beautiful. No one has driven by so the snow is still pure -- no black muck yet.

Apparently the movie theater is open! Billy is supposed to work from 12:30 to 5:30 today but I don't want him to. Linda offered to drive him though. Still, I think it would be crazy for any of us to go out in this mess. Let the theater call in someone who lives across the street!

I called my mother this morning to see how she & my dad are making out. They got about six inches of snow. That's not so bad. Someone shovelled out their driveway this morning, thank goodness! My father is blind in one eye and at 75, he shouldn't be out there trying to dig out anyway. I wonder if it was my brother? I haven't been able to get ahold of Pete yet.

So I guess we'll all just chill out and enjoy watching TV, reading or surfing on the computer.

I wish Kennan would bring Little T home! I miss the baby!

Unconscious Mutterings:

1. Material world:: Madonna
2. Satin sheets:: soft
3. Blizzard:: heavy snow
4. Real estate:: property
5. Dress up:: formal
6. Wesley::college
7. Robber:: thief
8. Saliva:: spit
9. Slave:: held in bondage
10. Shift:: working hours

It's Really Coming Down

It's been snowing since about 10 this morning and it's really coming down now! Billy and Heidi were scheduled to take their SATs and when I checked online, I saw that lots of places had cancelled testing. Not in NJ though. So TB and I rounded up the kids and left home around 7 a.m.

What a zoo that high school was! Doesn't anyone understand anything about organization ... particularly on what's going to be a stormy day? Heidi began to freak because it was so crowded and noisy. Instead of letting the kids sit in the auditorium, they were kept standing and milling around the lobby. :P Finally, though, the gate was opened a crack and one lone woman began examining IDs and registrations.

We didn't want to hang out for 3 hours so TB drove us home.

By the time we left to pick the kids up, the roads were slippery and slushy. I reminded myself to complain to the college board. It took us an hour to get to the high school and everyone had left! Luckily, Billy and Heidi found a janitor who let them into an office. So what is with the adults in charge? I'm complaining to that college board!

It took another hour to get home. Now I'm sitting in front of the computer, looking out the window at the snow. We had near white out conditions as we were driving home and I'm thinking about Linda. She's still at work. If she stays the whole shift, she won't be leaving for another hour. I keep hoping they let her go early. The roads must be really miserable out there. No plow has gone by yet.

TB finally got his insurance check today, fat good that does us. The bank is closed so we'll have to make do with the groceries we have on hand.

And little T is over at his dad's house until tomorrow. I hope he's enjoying the snow some. It's probably very confusing for him.

The snow isn't supposed to end until tomorrow. It's pretty to look at but I am pretty fed up with winter now. I would like to see an early spring!

For fun, check out TB's entry about measuring up

Now What?

What I Learned Friday

Some of these I really just learned today; others I've "re-learned"

There is no work for TB at Halo
There might be work for him in Cranbury, NJ
There is a winter storm warning for heavy snow this weekend
I don't know what to do about the kids and their SATs if there is a lot of snow on the ground!
Motherhood is a mixed blessing
Things can always get worse!

Four for Friday:

Q1: Last week's published pictures of England's Prince Harry wearing a Nazi uniform at a costume party caused outrage around the world. In the days and weeks following the uproar, a poll published in a London newspaper showed that while 70 percent of those interviewed thought Harry was wrong to sport the uniform and accompanying swastika armband, more than half of those between the ages of 18 and 24 said the choice of outfit was acceptable. What's your take on all of this? Was young Harry in the wrong on this one or do you feel the outrage reported in the media was blown out of proportion? If you were offended, upset, or disappointed by Harry's choice of costume, would your opinion change if you learned that for thousands of years Hindus from across the world have regarded the swastika as a highly-sacred sign of wisdom?

Well, that's all well and good that the Hindus have regarded the swastika as a sign of wisdom. On the uniform that Prince Harry wore, however, it's a symbol of something else much worse -- hatred, bigotry, murder. I think we're beginning to "forget" what happened and that's why the prince made such a terrible mistake in judgement.

Q2: In a move that many see as an admission that marketers do share blame for the childhood obesity epidemic in the U.S., Kraft Foods last week announced that it would stop advertising snacks such as Oreo cookies and Kool-Aid, and instead shift its advertising budget to new lines of healthier "Sensible Solution" food products for children. Many food industry observers fear that Kraft's strategy bolsters the position of consumer advocates who favor a ban on the business of marketing junk food to children. How long do you think Kraft's new childhood obesity-sensitive advertising strategy will last, and how do you feel about vending machines placed in schools that dole out candy and soda?

I hate to sound cynical but Kraft's new advertising reminds me of the cigarette companies warning their addicted consumers that smoking can kill them and they should quit. I think they will go on using the obesity-sensitive advertising for as long as it's "popular" to do so. I really think vending machines selling candy and soda in the schools should be removed!

Q3: Assuming you've never done any of the following, which would you pick to do this winter if forced to pick one: Learn to ice fish and spend a week with anyone you wanted doing so? Travel with anyone of your choosing to the town of Jukkasjarn, in northern Sweden, for a week's stay at the Ice Hotel, a palatial facility built each winter entirely out of ice? Or, attend a fantasy figure skating camp which culminated in your mandatory participating in a public performance in front 1,000 people, some of whom you know and work with?

Oh, boy, I think I'd like to learn how to ice fish and spend a week with TB doing that.

Q4: Much has been made over the last month or so about the $40-$50 million price-tag for yesterday's Presidential Inauguration here in the U.S., paid almost entirely from non-governmental sources, i.e., private donations. Former Enron executive, Rich Kinder and his wife Nancy, donated $250,000 to the inauguration, while Texas oilman T. Boone Pickens--who put $2.5 million of his own money behind the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth ads that ran during the 2004 election--also donated $250,000 to the inaugural event. On the corporate side of the equation, Exxon Mobil Corporation, Ford Motor Company, Goldman Sachs, Sallie Mae, Time Warner, SBC, Home Depot, Northrop Grumman, the National Association of Realtors, Morgan Stanley's PAC, Anheuser-Busch, AT&T, Bank of America, BlueCross BlueShield of Florida, and Cisco Systems, just to name a few, each donated $100,000 or more. How do you feel about the amount of private money raised and spent on these inaugural events?

It makes me sick! That seems decadent, spending all that money on a bunch of balls and parties. We have people going hungry and who are homeless and who have no medical insurance. That's a crying shame!

Cleared for work

So TB had an appointment with Dr. Farrell today. We knew that the doctor would say he's ready to go back to work. It's been almost two full years since the original injury and what a long haul it's been! The doctor didn't put any restrictions on TB which really makes me nervous. That means that TB technically could go back to the shop and I don't like that at all!

Tom Stapleton from the union called and talked to TB late this afternoon. He wanted to find out what the latest news was and TB kidded hiim that he must have "ESPN".

What is supposed to happen is that on Monday TB will go back to his original employer, Halo. If there's work in the office that would be great! If there's not ... well, TB has to decide if he wants to work in the shop or maybe drive a good distance to get to a place where there is drafting work.

So we're all kind of anxious about this. More later as news develops ...

Wednesday Whatevers

1. What does music do?

It helps me feel emotions -- joy, sadness, exhiliration ... I also find music to be very relaxing

2. Why is our society so lazy?

Things are too easy for us. We don't have to work very hard to get what we want and most people don't have to overcome very many obstacles either.

3. How do ordinary words become insults?

It's the tone of voice or the expression on the face of the person speaking that can turn inordinary words into insults.

Screwy Weather

The first two weeks of this month were unusually warm, above 50. It didn't feel like winter at all. Now, we are at zero with the wind chill factor. It's supposed to stay this cold for the next couple of weeks. We might get a little snow. This weather would have been acceptable to me in December when I was full of the Christmas spirit and wanted some snow. Now I just want winter to go away!

In Other Words

A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices.
-- Edward R. Murrow

That's a really interesting quote! To me, it seems to be how people justify the prejudices they already have. Some people who are bigoted try to lean the opposite way to show that they are not and sometimes they feel quite proud of themselves. Meanwhile, they still have a lot of prejudice in their hearts and are just kidding themselves. I hope I don't do that!

Kristin's new haircut

There's not a lot going on beyond the same old stuff. My ankle still hurts and so do my joints. I see the orthopedic doctor next Tuesday. I got a big package of newsletters about fibromyalgia that I need to sit down and read.

Kristin got a haircut! Her hair's been hanging in her eyes and it's been bothering her. She is tired of her dark brown hair and wants to dye it blue or purple but I said no, not if it means bleaching your hair. She wasn't too happy with that but then she talked to the stylist who had her own personal nightmare with bleaching hair. The stylist's hair is as dark as Kristin's so she knew what she was talking about. It takes hours and doesn't bleach out evenly and the results aren't satisfactory.

I could see that Kristin was disappointed. The stylist was going to cut her hair differently so that it wouldn't look the same as anyone else. Her name is Christen, pronounced the same, spelled differently. Anyway, Christen said she could foil wrap a couple strands of Kristin's hair and dye it red. It seemed like a simple thing and so I agreed.

Argh. We were there like 2 hours. Dark hair doesn't want to get lighter! Anyway, Kristin loves it. She's got several red streaks ... they look like a dark red purplish wine color ... and the Christen cut her hair with a razor. It looks very wispy and dishevelled, kind of cute. Christen gave Kristin some wax to use so that she can pull her hair out for that wild uncombed look.

Kristin would like to do her whole head in that reddish purplish color and Heidi & Billy have been trying to talk her out of it. I thought she might like to have her whole head streaked but I guess I could live with it that weird color. I would just want to make sure that her hair wouldn't be damaged.

Christen said she thought I was a "cool" mom because I'd considered letting Kristin dye her hair blue if it wasn't bleached. I guess most moms would freak. I look at it like this: it's just hair. And I figured if I just flat out said no, it would make the blue hair more desireable to Kristin. If it wasn't for the bleach, I'd let her get blue hair. Then at least she'd know if she liked it or not. She'd have to deal with the kids at school and if she could handle that and liked the color, what the heck?

But no bleach. I'm not a cool enough mom to allow that.

QOTW:

Your house is on fire. Your pets, your loved ones, and all your family photographs are miraculously safe; you have enough time to get any other one item from your house. What is that item?

I'd want to rescue my glider rocker. I really love it! It's a beautiful piece of oak with a lighthouse pattern on the cushions. I don't sit in it that often right now because I don't want it to break. It's really quite comfortable to rock in!

What a week

Well, it's been rough.

This morning I asked TB to drive me to the "groinecologist" (I love that Archie Bunker word!) for my yearly. I had a feeling I might have a UTI and I was right, well, it's a bladder infection. It's funny how a little thing like that will just wipe me out. After we got home, I slept for hours.

It also might be from the tramadol, which is ultracet. I'm trying to decide if it alleviates the pain enough to make it worth the aggravation of taking it. I get dizzy and sleepy and my whole day just blows. Like, I wanted to take the girls to the mall to return some things and also so Heidi could pick out new glass frames ... but I slept until well after 4. Blah.

Thursday Threesome:

Onesome: The Phantom-- Pick one (or more!): Hey, have you seen it yet? Are you going to go see it? Have you seen it on stage? Read the book? What Phantom?

I haven't seen it on stage or at the movies. I haven't read the book either. I don't even think it's playing at that rinky-dink theater of ours. Maybe some day ... I am really annoyed with the movie theater because it gives the bum's rush to really good movies but it keeps the junk playing for weeks and weeks. Yeah, I know ... the junk sells better. Phooey!

Twosome: of the-- Of the sights and sounds and smells of Spring what are you waiting for the most? ...and what is the first sign in your area that Spring is on its way?

That's a hard choice but I think I'll go with the sights of spring. I am looking forward to seeing the daffodils bloom, which is usually a sign to me that spring is here.

Threesome: Opera-- Theatre? Stage? Local shows? Do you get a chance to visit any of these venues? Any recommendations on current items?

There is nothing like that around here sad to say. I'm looking forward to the junior high production of Fiddler on the Roof but that's about it.

Unconscious Mutterings:

1. Pistol:: gun
2. Rick:: Rick's Place
3. Full circle:: done
4. I wish:: desire
5. Frame:: picture
6. Adult:: grown up
7. Photography:: camera
8. Stew:: beef
9. Cheat:: defraud
10. Brad:: Pitt

Happy Birthday, TB!

Today is TB's birthday! Happy birthday, my love!

I took the higher dosage of prozac and felt pretty zombied-out when I woke up this morning. I'm going to try taking ultracet now because my ankle is bothering me a lot and the motrin doesn't seem to help. Some of that is probably due to the weather which has been gloomy and rainy. Ugh. I am totally sick of warm, gloomy, rainy weather. It seems like we had that for most of December!

Yesterday Heidi and Linda got into it over something that really shouldn't be a big deal. Little things become big things, though, especially when feelings get hurt. I talked to Heidi about things this morning. She and I are a lot alike in terms of temperament but she definitely perceives things differently than we do. Anyway, I know she's been trying very hard to work on anger issues and the whole weight thing. One thing I noticed and talked about was that she isn't hassling me about not having anything "good" to eat in the house. She also is usually right there to help Linda with Little T and does little things, like leaves the bedroom light on for Lin at night. That's so Linda won't trip and bump into things when she goes to bed ... which is after Heidi.

Speaking of bed, though, I don't know what is up with Linda and Tomas. I know that poor little T still has an ear infection. They were up around 7 this morning but then went to lay back down after I did and here it is going on 1 p.m. and they are still upstairs. I worry about the baby, it can't be good for him. As for me, I am sure the reason I went back to sleep for so long was a combination of not sleeping more than 6 hours last night plus still being zonked on the new dosage of the meds.

I have some other feelings of frustration today. The gifts I ordered for TB's birthday aren't here. I would have liked for us to be able to go out or get some nice steaks but we're still waiting on the workman's comp check. I would like to be alone with TB cuz I know he'd like that ... but we're waiting for the roofers to come back and re-fix the same problems we'd hired them for. Contractors! Grrrr!

Thursday Threesome:

Fish, Chips and Mushy Peas

Onesome: Fish- Do you have a favorite outdoor hobby or are you a strictly stay at home type?

If this counts as a hobby, my favorite would be to go to a beach and walk on the boardwalk if there is one. I like checking out all the beach shops and I enjoy watching the other pedestrians. I also enjoy being able to look over at the ocean and watching the waves. If there's no boardwalk the next best thing I like to do is walk on hard packed sand near the water. I find it very relaxing! Other than that, I guess I am a homebody!

Twosome: Chips- Do you gamble? Lotto, weekly poker night or weekends in Vegas?

Nope, I don't gamble. I used to play lottery numbers but that was 20 years ago or so. I never liked the odds against me.

Threesome: and mushy peas- What's the strangest thing you've ever eaten?

For me, eating shark fin soup was pretty strange ... I definitely would not make it on Survivor because sometimes the survivors have to eat these really different and totally gross foods.

No More Drug Study

I screened out of the depression study although for almost 2 hours we believed I was going on. After I answered the usual questions over the computer, the study coordinator said I qualified to go on and I thought, oh well, must be that it's meant to be. Later, though, we discovered that I'd been dropped. Eh, that's okay. This way I can try out the ultracet the rheumatologist prescribed for the pain in my joints.

Dr. H, the rheumatologist, saw Heidi today too and found that she seemed to have similar symptoms to me. He didn't want to label her with fibromyalgia, though. She's able to manage without pain medications, knows she needs to lose weight and exercise and she'll be okay.

One thing that surprised him, though, was that Heidi's been taking Zoloft since 2001 without really being followed by a psychiatrist. That's because our mental health coverage sucks, I explained. We agreed that Dr. H would recommend that our family doctor try to wean Heidi off the Zoloft. That's one of the meds that can cause weight gain and after 3 years, maybe she doesn't need it anymore? Or ... maybe she does. We'll have to see.

Once I got kicked out of the study, Dr. R decided he wanted to follow me ... maybe. Remember that sucky insurance? Biologically based illness or not, the coverage may not be there.

What an ordeal! Dr. R asked me all these vague and confusing questions ... like, in the past 7 days have you felt sad, depressed, down, hopeless ? So I said yes and he asked, which ones. Which ones? Well ... almost all of them. How many days? How much of the day? Less than half, half, more than half, most the time, all the time ... and there were like 8 pages of questions like that! To add insult to injury, the doctor is a bit of a flake. He's easily distracted and confused so it was a big ordeal.

We didn't get out of there until after 5 and my appointment had been at 2:30. Yeesh!

Ten on Tuesday:

Ten Things You Look Forward to Doing in 2005

1. Losing weight
2. Feeling better (less or no pain)
3. Swimming in an indoor pool
4. Taking my creative writing class
5. Writing & finishing stories
6. Going on a vacation with TB to ... anywhere! Just away!
7. Having more energy to spend time with my kids & Tomas
8. Reducing my stress levels
9. Going for walks outdoors
10. Going to the beach

A Healthy Shock

I guess everyone is going into withdrawal. I'm back into the no-junk-food-in-the-house mode which means no cookies, chips, cakes, snack crackers or other processed stuff. I figure we need to cut back drastically on pasta and other refined carbs too. I want to look for whole grain or wheat type pastas and noodles and limit our consumption to just a couple of times a month. I don't want to use stuff like Rice-A-Roni or Hamburger Helper or Bisquick. I made some goals for myself because I want to be healthier than I am and weigh about half as much as I do. Most of us could stand to lose some weight -- even Kristin although I wouldn't call her overweight -- except for Tomas and so I plan to drag the rest of the family along kicking and screaming. Tonight Linda wanted to go out and get something to eat and TB said okay, but don't bring it back here. It'll be tough at first but we can do it!

QOTW:

So… if you went to a party, and a dish was set before you that sounded strange and unappealing, but you’d never tried it before… would you try it? If this has happened to you, what was the dish? Did you wind up liking it?

There is now way I will try something again that sounds or looks strange and unappealing! Too many times I've tried against my better judgement and I've always been sorry. The very first dish I remember was a raw oyster when I was a kid. I don't remember what the last thing was but I remember swearing to myself that I would not eat or drink something every again if it didn't appeal to me from the get-go.

New Year

Hope everyone had a wonderful New Year!

I slept most of it away. Either there is a new stomach virus in the house or Linda is right and we need to test the house for mold. I have either been in the bathroom or in bed sleeping most of this holiday weekend.

Today I let Billy take the van (on his own) so he & the girls could go see a movie. I have quite a bit of agita about it but I have to trust him and let him grow up some more. He called about a half hour ago to say he & the girls wanted to stop at the bookstore and I said okay. I'm glad he called. And going to a bookstore ... well, that's like those kids thankGod! They love to read.

And thank goodness for vigilant friends like Jeannie who let me know my blog/our blogs had been hit by porn spammers!

Unconscious Mutterings:

1. Newspaper:: Washington Post
2. DVD:: Movie
3. Resolution:: Promise
4. Intimate:: Close
5. Song:: I Hope You Dance
6. Essential:: Necessary
7. Whistle:: Train
8. Glass:: Stained
9. Countdown:: New Year's Eve
10. Child:: baby