Scribblings

Year in Review -- Mine

So I guess everyone reflects on the year gone by, right? From the war to the tsunami, 2004 has been an eventful year. I didn't focus on that for my cop-out entry, though. I looked back over the journal this year and just picked out 12 entries that seemed to describe the year:

In The New Year
Weight Loss Challenge
Changing Behavior
Finally, Justice
Why I Detest 3rd Party Carriers
2nd Anniversary
Aging 10 Years in 5 Minutes
Thankful Thursday
Interesting Day
Rough Week
Today's Family News
The Big 5-0

I didn't put in major events like the births of Tomas & Nikolas because I covered those special days in another post ... same with Michele & David & the kids' move to TN. Well, I did put my birthday down for both entries for sentimental reasons! ;)

Friday Fiver:

Predictions:

1. The last person you will talk to in 2004: TB

2. The last meal you will eat in 2004: cheese & crackers

3. The last person who will say, "I love you," to you in 2004: TB or my kids

4. The last party you will have attended in 2004: TB's birthday party last January

5. The lasting memory of 2004 that you will still think about in 20, 30 or even 40 years from now: the images from that awful tsunami

Shock & Grief

It's hard to write about anything else. I have seen many pictures and cartoons about the tsunamis and this one affects me deeply -- to me, it's a mother grieving for her lost family ... husband, children, grandchildren. It could be me.

Three for Thursday:

::Taking the Lights Down...::

Onesome: Taking-- --some time off? Are you on holiday schedule tomorrow? ...or is it just another day in the mines? How about a party in the evening? No?

Can a mom or nana have a day off? Well, sure ... ha. It should be a nice mellow day around the house. The only thing I need to do is make sure Billy gets to work. About partying in the evening ... those days are done. My idea of a party is watching lots of movies until it's time to switch to the coverage in Times Square.

Twosome: the Lights-- Hey, is this the weekend all the decorations come down? When do you "de-Christmas" your place?

The lights are still on the tree and the tree is still up. We won't take down the Christmas stuff until after TB's birthday January 6.

Threesome: Down-- --time... Are you getting any relaxation time this weekend? ...or are you all wrapped up in parties and events? ..and for the students: are you done with down time? When do you have to go back?

I am getting plenty of relaxation time especially since I have been sick and sleeping a lot. Kennan's had Little T the last couple 24 hours or so and the house is very very quiet.

What do I call this?

Lots of times TB will send me the link to an interesting article he's found online. He was telling me a story about a vindictive ex-state employee who was sending dead rats and other sick things through the mail. Ugh. What was interesting is that this man is from Central Islip, NY.

My cousin and her husband lives in Central Islip. It's just a hop-skip-and-a-jump from many places I've lived on Long Island: West Islip, Islip, East Islip, Brentwood ... Central Islip State Hospital is there, a truly scary looking place! The Suffolk County government office buildings are there and so is the baseball stadium of the mighty Long Island Ducks!

What struck me about this, though, is just how vindictive this guy was. I don't know what his victims did to offend him. Many of them didn't know what they did either, apparently. What would make me made enough to send someone a used condom? Or make a false report to child protective services? I couldn't think of anything. I wonder what made this guy so damn mad?

It made me think of Maryland's former governor, William Donald Schaefer. I always admired the man ... until I found out he wrote angry, vindictive letters to constituents who disagreed with him. Isn't that petty? I looked to see if there was anything online about the letters, but they've got to be at least 10 years old or more. What's sad is that those letters left a lasting impression with me, much more than all the good Schaefer did.

Well, my thoughts sure travelled far and away from that sick ex-state employee. Must be my cold that has my thoughts so discombobulated!

Wednesday Whatevers

1. Why do we have holidays?

so that we have a reason to celebrate. We'd be pretty dull, sad people if we didn't celebrate

2. Why do most jokes put down others?

So that we feel superior?

3. How are trends and fads different?

A fad comes and goes quickly. A trend is the beginning of something that stays for awhile.

Midweek Music Meme:

Besides Auld Lang Syne, what song brings to mind the end of the year, or the beginning of the new?

Believe it or not, "Sunrise Sunset" or "Turn Around" and that's mainly because it focuses on how quickly the years go by.

Top 10 of 2004

Ten on Tuesday:

The original question asked for my personal highlights of 2004. My list would be the same, I'm sure, but I reworded the title anyway:

10 Family Highlights of 2004:

1. Tomas was born (Feb. 1, 2004)
2. Nikolas was born (Sept. 9, 2004) THANKS MICHELE LOL
3. TB turned 50 in January
4. I talked to my brother for the first time in 10 years (long story)
5. I turned 50 in December
6. Michele, David & the kids moved to TN, very sad
7. Billy became a senior & gots his driver's license
8. Heidi turned 16
9. Kristin started junior high
10. Linda & Tomas moved in with us

Baker's Dozen

Baker's Dozen

Twelve thoughts about my weekend (in this case, Christmas Day) and a picture:

1. What a wonderful morning!
2. It was Tomas's first Christmas
3. I got to talk to my brother
4. I got to talk to my niece!
5. Kristin has so many funny facial expressions!
6. The presents were all lovingly and carefully chosen
7. Everyone loved what they got!
8. Most of us were feeling sick
9. We had Chinese food for dinner
10. Billy and Linda both had to work
11. TB's mom came over and spent the day
12. This holiday season is over way too soon! Waaaaaah!

This picture was just one of many taken over the weekend:

House of the Sick

Everyone in the house is in some stage of whatever plague is going around. Heidi, Tomas and TB went to the doctor right before Christmas because they were feeling miserable. They've been on their respective antibiotics a couple of days now and are doing better. Billy and I became sicker over Christmas and now we are both feeling ill. I think Linda and Kristin are next.

But we did have a Merry Christmas! Check out our pictures: Christmas 2004

Unconscious Mutterings:

1. holiday:: Christmas
2. fault:: earthquake
3. beep:: cell phone
4. bubble:: soap
5. needle:: vaccination
6. fare:: travel expense
7. treat:: candy
8. express:: fast
9. webcam:: movie camera
10. capital:: money

I hope everyone had a wonderfully Merry Christmas!

If I'd been online, I would have posted this:

A CHRISTMAS PRAYER ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

Loving Father, help us to remember the birth of Jesus, that we may
share in the song of the angels, the gladness of the shepherds, and the
worship of the wise men. Close the door of hate and open the door of
love all over the world. Let kindness come with every gift & good
desires with every greeting. Deliver us from evil by the blessing which
Christ brings, & teach us to be merry with clear hearts. May the Christmas
morning make us happy to be Thy children, & the Christmas evening
bring us to our beds with grateful thoughts, forgiving and forgiven, for
Jesus' sake. Amen!

Christmas Eve

For everyone who observes the holiday, a very Merry Christmas! For those who don't, have a great weekend!

Christmas Traditions Over The Years

When I was a child, we used to put our tree up around my birthday. I never minded that my birthday was close to Christmas because I always felt special. We put the tree up on or around MY day.

I can remember helping my parents put the ornaments on the tree. Some of them were special ones, specifically for my brother or my parents or me. One of mine was a doll, almost the size of a Barbie, wearing a beret, black blouse and red capris pants. My mother sprayed our tree with canned, artificial snow and so our ornaments were always crusted with white stuff. It smelled funky but our tree always looked beautiful, like it had just been snowed on.

We also had other decorations that we set out all over the house. I remember reindeer and a card sled that looked like it was made out of coat hanger wire. It looked pretty cool. My mom would put a mirror down and surround it with cotton so that it looked like snow. Then we had these little people and animal figurines that we’d set into the scene.

On Christmas Eve, we used to go to church services when I lived on Long Island. When we moved to Baltimore, we’d go look at the holiday lights in the neighborhood instead. My mother would make rice pudding for dessert and we’d leave out the traditional milk and cookies. We always got a nice note from Santa in the morning – I found out later that was my Dad. We didn’t see his handwriting much so we were fooled for years. When we were really little, he would read “The Night Before Christmas” to us but one year he refused and never read it to us again.

I asked my mother about that one time and she said he was probably embarrassed about his deaf speech. I don’t think that’s it, though, because my dad was never shy about using his voice in public and around hearing people. Maybe he thought we were too old for it. I haven’t asked him directly because in my family there were just some things you didn’t talk about. Don’t ask me to explain how I got it into my head not to ask him about it because I can’t.

When Rich and I got married, we wanted to start our own traditions. One of the first things we did was make our own ornaments. We painted some of them and cross stitched others. We saved every single ornament given to us the year after we married and so I must have a dozen “First Christmas” ornaments. When the kids were born, we began collecting ornaments for them too.

Our traditions blended. I didn’t make rice pudding on Christmas Eve but I did make cookies and soda bread and we did go to Christmas Eve church services. We drove around and looked at holiday lights. Rich brought the Christmas pickle to the family. The idea was to hide this pickle ornament in the tree and whoever found it got to play Santa Claus on Christmas morning. We all had Santa hats and stockings stuffed to overflowing. I learned that socks and underwear was a good gift in my growing-up family but Rich was horrified and asked me never to give him that stuff as a Christmas present anymore. We didn’t spray fake snow on our trees. While we had living trees, we’d still put them up around my birthday. Rich liked to use tinsel and was so picky about it that it became his job. We would bake cookies and watch a different Christmas movie almost every day. If we weren’t watching movies, I was playing Christmas CDs. I took up the tradition of reading “The Night Before Christmas” to the kids. Rich and I began a tradition when we moved to LI of ordering our Christmas dinner from a Chinese restaurant.

After Rich died, I felt lost … like I didn’t have an achor. Half heartedly, I tried to keep the same traditions going but they were so painful I mostly just cried. We went to stay with Rich’s dad and wife over the holidays. We took our Christmas pickle there … and accidentally left it there.

Then I married TB, who had his own Christmas traditions with his family.

Now our Christmas traditions are blending again. In 2002, TB and I bought our own artificial tree and set it up the day after Thanksgiving. We’d bought our own ornaments to go on the tree along with the kids’ ornaments and some of my other older ones. I have at least 2 dozen Christmas CDs and also discovered two radio stations that play Christmas music 24/7. On Christmas Eve, we drove around and looked at the lights. We had a big crowd over for presents and different for both families and yet special. After our company left, we ordered in Chinese food.

Last year, I helped put the tree up the day after Thanksgiving and we had a large gathering on Christmas day. I baked lots of cookies and bread. We ordered in – you guessed it, Chinese food.

This year, it’s been much different. We got the tree up after Thanksgiving but I didn’t feel well enough to decorate it and the kids never seemed to want to. Linda ended up doing most of it. I haven’t baked a single cookie or loaf of bread. I’m thinking, yeesh, we didn’t drive around looking at lights last year and it would be a good idea to do it this year! I don’t want to lose all our traditions so I’m listening to the Christmas stations and playing my holiday CDs. We’re going to have Chinese food for dinner.

I still need to wrap Heidi’s presents.

This year, I want to take lots of pictures. I want to make sure I call my loved ones to wish them a Merry Christmas. I hope I feel as well on Christmas as I do now, which is to say considerably better than I have been lately!

Blogcess:

Motoki Log

California Hammonds

A Gag Reflex

hnk's Blog

A Star From Mosul

No ho ho ho today

Fibromyalgia is a truly insidious condition. Some days I just feel like everything has been sucked right out of me. Other days, I feel like there are hot knives being thrust into my shoulders and hips. My finger and wrist joints burn. Some days, like today, I'm dealing with all of the bad symptoms.

Today I had every intention on writing a nice post about my holiday traditions. Instead, I slept for about 4 hours this afternoon. I woke up, groggy and discombobulated and totally pissy. Needless to say, I have written nothing on traditions.

I meant to write about blending holiday traditions all month.

It's very frustrating for me and I tend to get all down on myself. I'm afraid to take Celebrex or Bextra and I'm not supposed to take the ultracet. There's some question now about Alleve, too -- not that it even helped any way. Tylenol doesn't help. Ibuprofen doesn't help at all on days like today. Blah.

TB is sick ... he has a sinus infection and some possible bronchitis. T has an ear infection and Heidi has sinusitis. We spent nearly all morning in the doctor's office, another frustrating experience. There's nothing like sitting in a little hot room waiting for your 10 minutes with the nurse practitioner. She apologized for the delay, of course, but that doesn't make us feel any cooler or less sick.

Bah humbug. Better luck tomorrow!

I found this site in an email sent to me by another diary-xer. Check this out: Buy Nothing Christmas

At first I thought it was a joke but then I did some exploring on the website and I think it's not a bad idea. I'm thinking, no, I don't want to cut out Christmas gifts all together but I sure would like to cut back drastically. I think, do I have to buy so many presents? Some of the best gifts I ever got were handmade, especially when they were made by one of the kids. Am I stingy? Does this make any sense to anyone else?

What would happen if more of us began to cut back dramatically on all the spending? What would happen to "Black Friday", the day after Thanksgiving? Would the retailers go even nuttier to try and pull us in or would we all become more sane about the holiday?

What is this holiday all about now anyway?

Cheddar X:

Within the time period of High School:

5 People you wish you were still close to

my best friend Daina
my high school principal
my high school drama teacher
my friend Gene
my friend Diane

4 Places you used to frequent

Marty's Playland in Ocean City, MD
the Baltimore City branch of the Pratt Library
the Baltimore County branch of the library
the movie theater
the mall

3 Classes you loathed

Math
History
PE

2 Teachers who made a difference

Norma Cooper, drama
Elaine Strohecker, English

1 Moment to relive or erase.

Graduation ... it was glorious!

Study Visit 7

So now I am almost at the end of the first phase of the study. TB drove me to see Dr. R and Lisa even though he's feeling sick and I wanted him to see his own doctor. Dr. R asked me, "Are you cured?" with a small smile and I said, "No." Based on whatever criteria needs to be met, I'll either go on with the next phase of the study after next week or I'll be dropped. Either way, I'll stick with the prozac.

I think the next med I'm supposed to be paired with (or with a placebo) is olanzapine and if that is the case, I don't think I want to go on with the study. I've seen stuff already about Zyprexa, especially the link to the diabetes and what with the risk of more weight gain, I don't think I ought to take it! I am going to read up on both these drugs and see what happens when I go for my appointment next week. I wouldn't have realized about this next drug except that I agreed to do a call-in study for the next 3 weeks on a daily mood tracker that is connected to this study I'm already in.

If I don't continue with the study, I think Dr. R will continue to follow me through my family doctor. Even if he doesn't, the prozac is helping enough now that my family doctor should be okay with continuing to prescribe it for me.

During this holiday season, I've been trying to stay away from the news of the real world. It hasn't always been easy. There was that terrible story about expectant mother murdered by a sicko who then cut the baby from the body. Thank God for savvy computer users! The killer was traced through the Internet. The story becomes sicker and more bizarre as I learned that killer and victim were in the same picture at a dog show recently. That's how they were brought together ... the killer contacted her on the pretext of buying a rat terrier puppy. The killer knew the victim was pregnant.

I keep calling her 'the killer, the killer' because she doesn't even seem like a human to me. She had two teenage children of her own and yet she killed this young woman just so she could steal the victim's firstborn. I don't understand it at all. I can't even begin to, even with the understanding that the killer miscarried not too long ago. It's got to be related to some kind of psychosis because how else can you explain something so evil? I don't understand psychosis either except that it's a break with reality.

Even if the killer is psychotic, I can't find much sympathy for her. I keep looking at the faces of the victim's husband and her tiny little baby, so violently brought into the world.

Thank God the baby didn't die!

Ten on Tuesday

Ten New Year's Resolutions

1. Don't make any resolutions; you'll only break them
2. Don't make any resolutions; you'll only break them
3. Don't make any resolutions; you'll only break them
4. Don't make any resolutions; you'll only break them
5. Don't make any resolutions; you'll only break them
6. Oh all right, but don't make too many resolutions, they're too hard to keep
7. Eat more healthily
8. Exercise
9. Lose weight
10. Keep these resolutions!

Funnies

I'm off to a doctor's appointment but hope to get back online later ...

How To Tell If You're The Grinch ...

HOW TO TELL IF YOU'RE THE GRINCH
1.You reuse last year's Christmas cards and send them out under your own name. (5 points)

2. You steal light bulbs from you neighbor's outdoor display to replenish your own supply. (5 points, 10 if neighbor's whole light sets or lighted Santa goes out)

3. You have dressed a dog or cat as Santa Claus, elf helper, or reindeer. (10 points for each; if you dressed an endangered species, 5 extra points)

4. You put out last year's stale candy canes for children. (1 point for each piece of sticky candy). If you put out a chocolate or marzipan Santa also, add 10 points.

5. You enclose a shoddy and inferior gift from Target, Walmart, or K-Mart in a Bloomingdale's or other prestige box to impress your friends. (5 points for each infraction).

6. You make collect long distance phone calls to your family on Christmas day. (5 points, 10 if from a cell phone), claiming you are stuck in a phone booth.

7. At the office Christmas party, you horde huge stockpiles of goodies for later consumption at home. (5 points; 15 points if you use this stuff for your own party)

8. You steal the wreath from a parked car to use on your own [Southern California only, others ignore]. (5 points -- nobody )

9. After an invitation to a friend's house, you bring a commercially produced fruitcake and try to pass it off as home made. (5 points; 15 points if the fruitcake is from last year).

10. Any stealing from the Toys-for-Tots collection bins is a definite no-no. (20 points)

Evaluate your score on the "Grinch Scale" from 20 to 100.

20-30: You are just a cheeseball.

30-50: You are an apprentice in Yuletide larceny and are probably wanted by the police for overdue parking tickets.

50-100: Grinch, move over. The Sopranos of Christmas crime has arrived.

The Big 5-0

How does it feel to be half a century?

I don't feel very much different physically than I did yesterday. Emotionally, I still feel like a kid sometimes.

So what does it feel like to be 50?

It feels ... like me, I guess.

It was a wonderful day! We went to see Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. The movie was very good! Jim Carrey is a terrific actor and was delightfully evil. The movie was rather dark, though, full of deaths and other mayhem. Still, I'm glad we saw it.

After that, TB, Heidi, Kristin & I went to TGIFriday's. Billy had to work, which was a real bummer, and so did Linda. Little T was at Kennan's. Dinner and dessert was delicious though!

TB gave me the most beautiful gift -- a gold mother's necklace with the kids' birthstones. I have been wanting a necklace or ring like that for years and years. I'd pointed out something to the kids hoping would take the hint but they didn't. TB, who is the most sweetest and thoughtful person alive, went ahead and got the necklace because I wanted it so much. It is a perfect fit. I like shorter necklaces and the mother's heart rest just below my collar bone. I love him so much! I keep touching the necklace over and over. It's like I keep checking to make sure it's real ... and it is!

Unconscious Mutterings:

1. Perfect Gift:: Love

2. Santa:: Claus

3. Lucy:: Charlie Brown

4. Buckets:: Pails

5. Recital:: Musical

6. Stamp:: Post Office

7. Teacher:: Mrs. Cooper

8. Matchbox:: cars

9. Spit:: expectorate

10. Feeling:: emotion
    

Christmas is Getting Closer!

This is the last weekend to do your Christmas shopping! Are you finished? I still need to get stocking stuffer stuff!

For fun:

The top 13 ways to confuse Santa Claus

1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.

2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.

3. Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.

4. While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.

5. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.

6. Plug up the chimney

7. Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.

8. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us."

9. While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off.

10. Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy."

11. Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."

12. Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.

13. Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.

Adjusting to a new schedule

YAY! I finally finished my Christmas cards this morning! TB and I took them to the post office and mailed them out so I feel good that everyone will get theirs before Christmas!

Linda's been working at the movie theater the last couple of nights and our routine is different. Tomas misses his mom, that's pretty clear. It's not that he's difficult or anything. He looks around for her and seems puzzled but I think he will be fine. He fell fast asleep before 8 so we'll see how long he wants to sleep. Heidi gave him a bath every night since Linda started working and that's been fun for him. He enjoys taking a bath.

I can't believe how fast December is going!

My birthday is Sunday. It's a special one, the big 5-0 and, in my honor (I hope), it's going to snow. Heh heh.

There was some horrible news out of Missouri. I am still trying to process it and it's just so hard because it's so brutal. A woman, 8 months pregnant, was murdered in her home. The baby was cut out of her and stolen away!

Who would do that? Why? I've seen a couple of theories and it's just too hard to accept. Maybe she was killed by someone who lost her own baby. But ... how could someone who's lost her own child commit such violence on another human being unless she's a total psycho lunatic? The other theory is that the child was taken to be sold ... but ... why murder to steal a baby?

I just don't understand.

Hopefully, the baby's been found.

Maybe the story of what happened will come out and I'll understand ... but somehow I doubt it!

FOUR FOR FRIDAY (THE COP-OUT EDITION)

Q1: How's it going?

Not too badly

Q2: What's new?

Linda has a job and I have a lot less time for writing. TB & I seem to have colds. Christmas is creeping up too quickly!

Q3: What are you doing this weekend?

It's my birthday. I'm hitting the big 5-0 and so we'll be going to dinner and a movie. Child at heart that I am I wanted to go see Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events and wanted to eat at TGIFriday's so they can sing and make a big deal for my birthday.

Q4: If yesterday had been Wednesday's tomorrow and tomorrow is Sunday's yesterday, what day would today be?

It's still Friday!

This one is a day old:

Thursday Threesome:

::Christmas is Coming!::

Onesome: Christmas--Hey, an easy start for you, what with the new layout and all: What is your favorite Christmas song? ...and sung or played by whom? You know, the one you tend to listen for on the radio or hit 'repeat' on the player...

My favorite is the "Christmas Canon" by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra

Twosome: Is-- Is the longer "Holiday Season" this year between Thanksgiving and Christmas making it easier to get your Christmas act together? Last year's was short; has this year flowed any better for you?

Not really. It seems to be going by awfully fast

Threesome: Coming-- Ready or not, here it comes! Are you ready? What do you have left to do with just over a week to go? ...or are you just cruising?

I just need to buy a couple of things for Linda and TB's mom. I haven't wrapped anything yet

Busy busy busy

I don't enjoy procrastinating but I don't seem to enjoy starting either.

Who is done with their Christmas cards ... if you do them? Not me. I haven't even started.

Who is done with their holiday shopping? Here, I am happy to say that I am almost done ... but I haven't wrapped anything!

This morning, TB and I were out shopping all morning. This evening we are going out again and hopefully will be able to finish up our shopping! We got about half of it done online.

About Christmas cards ... every year I say to myself that I'm going to do a little bit everyday. Maybe one night I'll get all the addresses onto the envelopes. Another night I'll write little notes in all the cards. You'd think that would be a simple task to manage but I still put everything off. My hand hurts. The kids' pictures haven't come in yet (even though not everyone on the list gets one!). I need to finish my shopping ... or paying my bills ... or playing with the baby. Then it gets to be December 20th and oops! now they won't arrive on time. Doh!

10 on Tuesday:

Ten Favorite Holiday Songs

Since this asks for my ten favorite holiday songs, my list is way different than it would be if I was going to list my favorite Christmas carols

1. Christmas Canon
2. Believe
3. Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
4. The Christmas Song
5. Little Drummer Boy/Peace On Earth
6. Dominick the Donkey
7. Yingle Bells
8. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
9. White Christmas
10. Silver Bells

Unconscious Mutterings:

I say ... and you think ...

1. Plot:: storyline

2. Farce:: satire

3. Unexpected:: surprise

4. Siren:: alarm

5. Ben:: Franklin

6. Freshman:: Sophmore

7. Quicksand:: quagmire

8. 24 hours:: day

9. Spunky:: brave

10. Vicious:: cruel
    

Oma's Birthday & Parental Strikes

Today is Oma's birthday. This amazing woman is 94 years old today. She seems to be very happy and is doing well in her new assisted care center. She had a mild stroke earlier which necessitated her move from the Plattdeutsche Seniors' residence, where she had her own room, to a rehab hospital for several weeks. She thought she wanted to go to a nursing home until her daughter-in-law Terri warned her that she'd have to wear a jogging suit everyday. Then she didn't want anything more to do with it!

For a little more information about Oma, click here.

I thought this story was really hilarious when I first heard it. Originally I had a lot of sympathy for those parents. I knew where they're coming from, I thought, and TB knows, too.

In my case, my kids are great most of the time. They are intelligent and have great company manners. They don't fight any more than other normal siblings. But ... get them to keep the rooms clean? It was a chore! When they were younger, Rich and I tried everything that the couple in the story tried. We used charts. We used rewards. We used punishments. Nothing seemed to help. They didn't seem to miss Nintendo if we took that away.

The psychologist (yes, we got one too) said that if they didn't miss those things, obviously they had too much. She said we should take everything away and then have the kids earn things back. It seemed too cruel to contemplate. We must have been crazy! And so, it didn't get any better. Rich and I would shout ourselves hoarse, throw things away, and clean up the house on our own.

We moved into a brand new townhouse on LI when we moved from MD to NY. In MD, I could use the excuse, well, we don't have much space and the house was so old and we had no money to really fix it up. This townhouse was much larger and it had a brand new look and feel to it. Still, within 2 years, it was a near-hopeless mess. Even before Rich died, I was very embarrassed about the way the house looked and I'd cringe when anyone came to visit.

After I married TB, though, things changed quite a bit. The kids have gotten much better about helping around the house and keeping their rooms clean. I think the big difference is enforcement. One day we bagged all of Heidi's stuff and put it away for a couple of weeks. We grounded Kristin and Billy from TV for a week. We've thrown things away and confiscated stuff we found lying around.

One day TB spent almost all day cleaning Kristin's room. That room was a real mess. What was really infuriating was that a week later, it was a mess again. What we should have done was taken everything and thrown it out but I guess we still couldn't bring ourselves to do that.

And that's where I realized that I didn't agree with these parents at all even though I could understand their frustration. They abdicated by moving onto the front lawn. Even if the kids aren't cooking, they're still getting meals. They still live in the house and they can still watch TV, use the computer, and the phone. And the parents? They're living outside -- what's wrong with this picture? I'm not saying the kids should be thrown out, though, not at all!

I think these parents ought to take away all privileges until their kids straighten up. I think that's the only way they are going to regain any order. Besides, if they've been out on the lawn this long, they're just not going to win. How fun can it be living in a tent outside? And what are the kids learning as they watch mom and dad moan and groan outside? They may not like the negative power they have but hey, power is power.

I think this family needs Dr. Phil!

Friday Q:

FQ TOPIC: Routine.

FQ1: Describe your morning routine on work/school days, from the time you wake up until you leave.

The alarm goes off just before 6. I stumble out of bed, take my medicine, make coffee, feed the cats, wake the kids and sit down to watch the news. I help Linda with the baby if she needs it. After the kids go to school, I'll go check my email. Sometimes I'll do laundry or some other chore. TB usually fixes breakfast and we eat together. After that, either he goes out or we both go out.

FQ2: Now describe your morning routine on NON-work/school days (weekends, holidays, etc.).

Wake up, stumble out of bed, take my meds, grab or make coffee, watch the news and play with the baby or go on the computer.

FQ3: And finally, describe your night-time routine before you go to bed.

I finish up what I'm doing on the computer, emails, journal entries, blog surfing, etc., and then I read for an hour or so

FQ Fantasy: You've won 100 million dollars in the lottery! Re-write your morning routine one month from now!

Sleep in! I have a maid wake the kids. Yeah, right!

25 Things About Christmas & Me

But first ... a recent quiz:

You are the Christmas Dove.


What Christmas Ornament are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

1. Favorite Christmas song? Christmas Canon by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra

2. Ham or Turkey? Turkey

3. Ever had roasted chestnuts? No

4. Favorite Christmas cartoon? How The Grinch Stole Christmas

5. Open Christmas presents Christmas Eve or Christmas Day? Christmas Day

6. Best Christmas ever? Oh gosh, there have been so many since my first one

7. Favorite Pie? Pumpkin

8. Cookies or carrots for Santa and his reindeer? Both

9. Fireplace for stockings? No fireplace so we used the staircase. This year, though, I bought a stocking tree

10. What time do you get up Christmas morning? Later & later!

11. Garland or Icicles? I like icicles better for a real tree; garland for an artificial one

12. Real or artificial tree? Used to be real, now it's artificial

13. Candy canes or fruitcake? Fruitcake!

14. Best Christmas memory? That would have to be the same as the best Christmas ever

15. Do you go to Midnight Mass? No

16. Do you believe in Santa? Of course don't you?

17. Do you have a favorite cookie? I love decorated butter or sugar cookies

18. Do you make hand made gifts? Not anymore, the hands won't cooperate

19. Do you have a special Christmas Eve Tradition? Used to do this: make rice pudding and one of the desserts had an almond on the bottom and also hide a pickle ornament in the tree

20. How many cards do you send out? between 50 and 100

21. favorite Christmas movie? It's A Wonderful Life

22. Do you gather with family or friends Christmas day? With family

23. What's the most favorite Christmas gift you ever received? Here we go again ... it's really hard for me to pick out just one

24. Whats your favorite Christmas show? The Nutcracker

25. What is your Favorite Christmas CD of all time. Very difficult to choose but I think I'll say the 2 by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra

Blogcess

1) Do you have one tradition that means the most to you when it comes to celebrating Christmas?

Well ... even though I haven't been in a church in more than 2 years, I would have to say that going to a Christmas Eve candlelight service means the most to me. It always seems warm and loving inside the church at night, listening to the Christmas story and to the pastor's message. There was a big choir and they just sounded beautiful singing the carols. When we turned the lights out and lit the candles, well, it was just so beautiful.

2) Since I’m on a movie kick today – - do you have a favorite holiday movie?

It's a Wonderful Life

3) One of the radio stations in my area seems to be playing “Twelve Days of Christmas” a lot. It feels like once an hour, but I’m sure it isn’t that often. However, that song lingers and is running through my mind which brings us to question three of this weeks “Blogcess”. What’s your favorite holiday song?

My favorite is "Christmas Canon" by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. My favorite fun song is "Dominick the Donkey."

5) Time to spread some “Blogcess” linky love.

I Speak of Dreams
California Hammonds
Motoki Log

Ten Things I Want For Christmas

10 on Tuesday:

Ten Things You Want for the Holidays

1. Peace in the world
2. Peace in the house
3. Snow on Christmas Day
4. To finish my shopping by the end of the week
5. To be able to control the pain I feel better
6. Control my blood pressure
7. Eat more healthy
8. Exercise
9. Go to the movies
10. Enjoy Christmas Day with my family!

Okay, some of mine are a little out there. Here's a more real list:

1. Bathrobe
2. Books
3. Precious Moments figurines
4. Mother's ring/figurine with my kids' birthstones
5. Swim class
6. More books
7. Irish collectibles
8. Celtic music CDs
9. Beanie kitties or bears
10. More books

You are Lichen, also known as Comet! You're a bit
of an oddball. You've got a beautiful
taupe-silver coat with a few black spots. You
are also the speediest of Santa's reindeer, and
you astronomical knowledge makes you a great
navigator.


Which of Santa's eight reindeer are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Uncle Gil

This morning I got an email from my cousin Bob letting my know that my Uncle Gilbert's in the hospital. He needs to have a triple bypass and an aortic valve replacement Monday. I wrote about my uncle last year, Yingle Bells and Uncle Gil. Bob said in his post that he would be running around a lot so I called Anne, his sister. Anne told me that Uncle Gil began complaining of feeling tired and looking ill for the last several weeks. He is 78 now -- or maybe it's 79? Anyway, everyone kept urging him to go to the doctor, go to the doctor and he kept saying no. Men! Finally, though, he felt so sick he called his doctor who told him to go to the hospital right away. They ran some tests on him and found he had three blockages and a problem with his aortic valve. Then he began fighting with the doctor because he didn't want the surgery. He figured he was old, he'd lived a nice long life and that was that. The doctor said fine, he'd just go ahead and tell the Dept. of Motor Vehicles that Gil shouldn't be allowed to drive anymore. ACK! Next thing he knew, Uncle Gil was being transferred to North Shore University Hospital system. I think he's actually in Long Island Jewish Hospital.

After I got off the phone with Anne, I called my Uncle Gil. He sounded pretty good and was surprised to hear from me, wondering how I knew he was in the hospital. Bob emailed me, I explained, and then chatted with him for a good 10 minutes or so. I'm glad to hear that he sounded good although he is understandably nervous about the surgery. I think he was glad to hear from me although he kept saying he didn't want to upset the other members of the family because there was nothing we could do but pray for him. Well, I said, we love you and want you to know that we're doing just that. What is with the men in my mother's side of the family? No one wants to let on at all that they're not well! Then everyone feels upset that these secrets are kept from them. I didn't find out my Uncle Bob (Aunt Betty's husband) or my Uncle John (Mom & Gilbert & Betty's brother) were dying until almost the end. It was awful.

Speaking of stubborn older relatives, I'd asked Anne about her mom. My Aunt Betty has been alone since my uncle passed from cancer in 1999. Every year she becomes more isolated and Anne and Bob are becoming very frustrated. Recently, she's given up driving and she'll call them constantly to get them to come over and take her somewhere or make dinner for her. The last couple of years, she's gone to Georgia to stay the winter with my youngest cousin, Edith, who's been living there with her hubby and two kids for almost 10 years now. My cousins have been trying to get my aunt to sell her house and move to GA with Edith. So far, my aunt has resisted. Now, though, there's a good possibility that both Anne and Bob and their spouses will be moving south so I guess we'll see how much longer Aunt Betty will hold out.

There are just the four sibs left on my mother's side and everyone is widowed but her. My Uncle Russell is 87 and he's doing great out there in California. He's taken such good care of himself he'll probably still be going when he is 100. My uncles Bjorn and John both died. Then there is Uncle Gil, my aunt -- who is 76 -- and my mom, who is 74. They are all so stubborn. Maybe that will keep them all going!

Saturday Six:

1. Think back to weddings you have attended (other than your own): what was the nicest part of the one you liked the most?

The nicest part was the dancing. I can't dance well but I enjoyed dancing with Rich very much at the reception

2. What is your favorite color and which room of your home has the most of this color in it?

My favorite color is burgundy. The room with the most of this color, I think, would be the living room. The drapes are burgundy.

3. What is your favorite kind of popcorn:
A) Unsalted
B) Buttered
C) Extra Butter
D) Kettle Corn
E) Caramel Corn

I would say the good old fashioned extra-butter movie popcorn, #C

4. Take a little time (!!) for a quick inventory of the clocks in your home: how many do you have and what is the widest difference between any two of them?

Okay, let's see: grandfather clock & cable clock in the TV; cable clock in the family room, 2 alarm clocks in our bedroom, computer clocks, Heidi's alarm clock upstairs ... the widest difference? Probably not more than 5 minutes

5. When was the last time you used a real rotary dial telephone to place a call?

Oh my ... years. I'm not sure how many

6. READER'S CHOICE QUESTION #34 from Shannon: What is your favorite sport and why?

My favorite sport is bowling. I started bowling when I was about 11 and continued for my adult life until the kids were older. I haven't really bowled in over 5 years and I miss it. I enjoyed it very much, finding it to be relaxing and challenging at the same time

Coffee and Me

How Much Caffeine Is Too Much?

I've been trying to figure out which might impact my blood pressure more, caffeine or sodium. I've just about given up coffee. I drink a cup that holds about 8-10 oz and I use Maxwell House Lite, which is supposed to have less caffeine. I'd given up my delicious diet Pepsi Vanilla in favor of decaffeinated sodas and I was hoping to see some results. So imagine my annoyance that, with 2 different meds and hardly any caffeine, my BP is still too high! There was an online article about caffeine and blood pressure today. Part of the article said:

Since some studies suggest that two to three cups of coffee can raise blood pressure around 10 points, many physicians limit people with high blood pressure to 200 mg (two six-ounce cups of coffee) per day or less. However, regular caffeine consumers may develop a caffeine tolerance that prevents blood pressure elevations, according to other studies.

The greatest reason people drink caffeinated beverages is to increase their energy and alertness. Studies show that 100 to 200 mg of caffeine (about 1 to 2 cups of regular coffee) are enough to achieve these results. When caffeine consumption climbs to 250 to 700 mg per day, people may experience nausea, headaches, sleep difficulties or increased anxiety. People may have heart palpitations with more than 1,000 mg.

So where does that leave me? Well, I'm still going to drink just the one cup of coffee per day. I don't like tea. A day or so ago, TB and I thought we'd try to give up soda altogether even though this article says I could have up to 48 oz. of soda per day -- and it's not even caffeinated. Maybe my body just can't process the stuff. Or ... maybe it's not the caffeine.

Maybe I take in too much sodium. Maybe there's an article onlline about that.

Friday Five:

1. If you have a phobia (or something close to one), what is it?

Being in closed spaces or places I can't get out of, including: cars, elevators, planes and crowded rooms

2. How long have you had the phobia (or something close to it)?

Years and years, more than 30 I would say

3. If you know anyone with a phobia (or something close to it), how does s/he act when s/he is experiencing it?

very tense

4. What is one phobia you would wish not to have?

fear of driving in a car

5. What is one phobia you wouldn't mind having, if you were to face one?

fear of eating chocolate

Study Visit 6

I'm really becoming very paranoid about my blood pressure. TB went to the store and bought a cuff to monitor my BP at home. The cuff itself is too small (lose weight already!!!) and so we had to order a large one. Meantime, I remembered that when I went to the ER last week, the nurse took my BP with a regular cuff on my forearm. I did it that way and was dismayed to be getting 160/100 type readings.

We brought the BP gauge with us to today's study visit and I was "heartened" to learn that my BP was 171/114.

What the hell? It's really scary!

We had to wait for like a half hour before we even began to see anyone so TB thought (and I agree) that my emotional reaction to that triggered the high BP. I'd like to think I could control my BP with anger management but it doesn't explain why it's high when I'm notaggravated.

My visit to the clinic was otherwise uneventful. I just had to get more Prozac and Ativan. I had to do the same stupid phone interview with the computer. I told them all about why Dr. Hymowitz thinks I have fibromyalgia and told them that I wasn't going to take the ultracet. They're concerned about the pain and most especially about the blood pressure. You know, until I started this study I don't think my BP has been such an obsessive issue. :P

Today Linda drove out to the movie theater while TB and I were at Dr. R's. There's still no schedule, though -- supposedly the guy who hired her won't be back until Monday. I guess no one else can do her training.

I also finally went to see an eye doctor. That was a trip. The doctor is in his 70s and has some kind of disability but seems to be very competent. He doesn't have new equipment but like I said he seems quite skilled with the older versions of glaucoma testing and peripheral vision screening.

His office, though, is really pretty dismal. I was going to make an appt for Heidi too until I actually got into the place. It's very narrow and dark. He must be paying a premium for the location. The part that totally turned me off though was when I went to use the bathroom. It's tiny and old fashioned but that wasn't the problem ... it smelled like pee or something.

I think I'll take Heidi to Walmart. If I had it to do over again, I think I'd go to Walmart too.

Your soul is bound to the Glass Rose: The
Fragile.

"My heart lies somewhere between perfection
and dust. And while my soul is a sight to
behold, I shatter at the blink of an
eye."

The Glass Rose is associated with perfection,
beauty, and frailty. It is governed by the
goddess Aphrodite and its sign is the Looking
Glass, or Tenuous Love.

As a Glass Rose, you have a beautiful soul and
naturally attract people to you. Love comes
naturally to you, but it hardly ever lasts.
Though you embody the perfect

form of love,
your own faults are your own undoing.


What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?

brought to you by Quizilla

Wednesday Whatevers

1. Why is violence (ie: boxing) entertaining?

People seem to enjoy the sight of blood. Yuck.

2. If products aren't tested on animals, how should they be tested?

Well, I think they should be tested on animals but in a humane way. If we don't test on animals we may not make as many medical discoveries.

3. What is the internet's purpose?

Communication/Information.

3XThursday:

::Dancing Polar Bears::

1.Do you look forward to your birthday? Why/Why not?

I do look forward to my birthday although I don't enjoy getting older. I guess I am still a kid at heart and that's why I enjoy my birthday

2. What do you think about these hard-core gamers who are really into their games? Are they nutso? Why/Why not?

Well, I'm not going to criticize them because there are extremes in all types of fandom. Across the board, though, the people who become so involved they lose their senses of selves are sad. It goes too far if they become violent.

3. If you could spend a day with someone famous, who would it be? Why? What would you do with them?

I guess I would spend the day with President Bush and try to figure out what's going on inside his head. I'd talk and talk to him about how I feel about the direction he's taking our country in.

Things About Me ...

This is another one of those slam book type things that get passed around. It showed up on an email list.

1. What is your full name? Cassandra May

2. What colour pants are you wearing? Blue Jeans

3. What are you listening to right now? Do You Hear What I Hear? on the radio

4. What's the last thing you ate? Hard boiled eggs & toast

5. Do you wish on stars? Sometimes

6. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? Purple

7. How is the weather right now? In the 50s and rainy, ugh!

8. Last person you talked to on the
> phone? Daughter's guidance counselor

9. Do you like the person who sent you this? YES! Candy is the best!

10. How old are you today? 49

11. Favourite drink? Pepsi

12. Favourite sport? Bowling

13. Hair colour? Very dark brown

14. Do you wear contacts? Nope

15. Siblings? 1 younger brother

16. Favourite month? December -- my birth month and Christmas, my favorite holiday!

17. Favourite food? Prime rib

18. Last movie you watched? National Lampoon Christmas Vacation

19. Favourite day of year? Christmas

20. What do you do to vent anger? Probably internalize it too much

21. What was your favourite toy as a child? My stuffed cat, Meow

22. Summer or winter? Fall

23. Hugs or kisses? I like them both from TB, family & friends

24. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate!

25. Do you want your friends to write/email back? Yes!

26. Who is most likely to respond? I don't know, lots have been responding already!

27. Who is least likely? Beats me!

28. Living arrangements? My husband, my 3 kids, stepdaughter Linda, grandson Little T, 2 cats and ADD (a dumb dog)

29. When was the last time you cried? Prob'ly less than a week ago

30. What is under your bed? shoes, storage boxes with clothes, dust

31. Who is the friend you have had the longest? I'd like to say TB but we've only been together 3 years. I'm thinking that it's Robin in NY, Nancy in PA, and Dawn in upstate NY

32. What did you do last night? Watched TV, blogged & played with Tomas ... that's all I can say publicly.

33. Favourite smell? Christmas greenery

34. What inspires you? Lots of things!

35. What are you afraid of? driving on bridges

36. Plain, buttered, or salted popcorn? Buttered & salted

37. Favourite car? My car!

38. Favourite flower? Roses

39. Number of keys on your ring? Oh my gosh! Too many!

40. Can you juggle? Nope.

41. Favourite day of the week? Sunday

42. What did you do on your last birthday? Went to dinner and probably a movie

43. How manyprovinces/states have you lived in? Three: New York, Maryland and New Jersey

44. How many cities have you lived in? Let's see...Baltimore, Laurel, and Columbia, Maryland. Everywhere else I lived was a suburb or incorporated village or a tiny town

45. How many countries have you lived in? Just the US

46. How many cars have you had?. Five: 1976 Chevy Chevette, 1976 Chevy Nova, 1987 Chevy Nova, 1992 Ford Taurus and 2001 Toyota Sienna