Not long ago I was talking to a close family member whose husband had been suffering a decline in health. Oh boy, do I remember how that felt--to have a young husband with a life threatening illness and small children to support! What can you say to "it's not fair"? Not: "Life IS unfair." It's true but it doesn't help answer "why me, what did I do to deserve this?"
Sometimes I think of life's problems like trying to swim in rough surf. Waves fall on you, one after the other, really big ones. So you catch your breath and duck your head under so that the wave doesn't throw you on the beach. When you stand up to recover and get another breath, you realize there's another big wave about to crash over your head. Just when you figure you are either going to get knocked under or dragged out to sea, there's a calm and you can get to shore. But don't tarry too long because here comes the next wave!
My pastor recommended a book to me many years ago: When Bad Things Happen To Good People by Harold S. Kushner. Reading that book helped a little although there was much that went right over my head. I told my loved one about the book. It doesn't provide the answers we want but it does provide a measure of comfort in the exploration of why bad things happen to us. After I talked with my loved one, I searched around for my copy of the book and decided to read it again.
Rabbi Kushner wrote the book after his young son died of progeria, a wasting disease that causes the child to grow very old prematurely. Why should an innocent little boy be afflicted with such a thing? That's a question we often ask ourselves when tragedies involve children but, really, it's something anyone who suffers would ask. The most well known story of suffering has to be the Book of Job from the Bible and the book covers it in great detail. Why was Job singled out for so many bad things?
I began to get "hooked" when Kushner talked about 3 basic truths we want to believe about the story of Job:
1. God is all powerful and nothing happens in the world without His willing it
2. God is just and fair so that if you are good, you are rewarded and if you are bad, you are punished
3. Job is a good man
Then he says that as long as Job is healthy and wealthy, we have no problem with the three statements being true. You have to sacrifice at least one in order to believe in the other two. The easy choice is to say well, Job must have transgressed somehow and so he's got this coming to him. But in the Bible, it's emphasized that Job really is a good man. In fact Satan says to God, well, you can't hold Job up as a good example of a righteous man because he's living the good life. I bet he'd turn on you real quick if bad stuff started happening to him. So ... if God just went ahead and caused all these things to happen to Job just to prove a point what does that say about God being just and fair? And isn't it hard to love and worship a God like that? Weren't the Roman gods like that--capricious and mean sometimes?
So Kushner takes the position that God may not be as omnipotent as we think. Now that's a hard one to swallow, right? Kushner points out that God created the world in 6 days and on the 7th day He rested. But what if he wasn't done? What if that is why there is all the chaos and nastiness in the world? That is a scary thought, isn't it? You'd like to think that God was in total control of everything but ... how can that be? Unless He is not a just, loving God and I find that even scarier.
How does this book help? Well, Kushner talks a lot about guilt and why we tend to believe we bring on the bad things that happen to us. He talks about how angry we get at God especially when other people say to us:
God needed ____ in heaven more than you did
Suffering makes you noble
God must be trying to teach you a lesson
It's all for the best
God never gives you more than you can bear
All of it's well meaning but I remember when I heard these things after Rich died I thought: why would I go to God for comfort now? Wasn't I strong enough? Hadn't Rich been noble enough? What had I not learned that it would cost me my husband's life? And how could it possibly be for the best? See what I mean? So what good is God, if He can't stop the bad things and suffering from happening to us? What I've learned from this--as Kushner did and wrote so well--God can give us a lot of things. We just have to ask. "Help me get through this, God, I am so alone," I used to pray. And I would feel Him. It was like getting a warm hug. God works in us in other ways too.
Read the book--there is so much that I think would benefit anyone who has suffered at all in life. And, after all, that would be all of us, right?
Cassie, I am in pain for you with the loss of Rich. I am sorry.
In the book of Job, it clearly mentions Job saying show me where I have sinned and I will be quiet. Of course I am parapharsing, but he makes the claim - show me what I have done wrong to cause this grief on me and my family.
When Elihud spoke Job was silent. Because Elihud told the truth, as I said I am paraphrasing but the object of focus is that job's sin was in that he felt he had no sin.
Yes, God said he was upright and a just man, but Job did think his actions, his good "deeds" were cause for God to bless him. Job's sin was in his motives of WHY God blessed him. Job thought his actions proved he was able to receive God's good grace.
When Elihud spoke - the fourth man, Job was silent and God spoke. And we learn by God's own words that God Blesses whom He decides. Not because of their good or bad actions. Like I said God deemed Job upright and righteous, yet, where was job's humbleness and humility? His sin was in thinking his good actions caused his blessing or pain. Job sinned when he in his motives thought God should bless him because he followed the law. Indeed, God chooses whom He will Bless based in HIS good will, not our actions. And by the grace of Christ and His suffering we are all able to be blessed in eternal life. The rain falls on the unrighteous and the righteous. Satan was used to show Job his own sin - the sin of being "holier than thou: by his actions - I am good - bless me - person. Satan brought out what Job needed to see to become righteous. Satan is used to show us where we can improve.
I have rambled, you do not have to post my comment but if you do I thank you for the webspace for me to share my thoughts. And as always it's just my thoughts. God uses evil to discern the good, and sometimes heart ache is included. It hurts, but we trust and love the Lord. Peace and prayers for you. - Megan
Posted by: Megan at March 30, 2007 03:58 AMCassie, I am in pain for you with the loss of Rich. I am sorry.
In the book of Job, it clearly mentions Job saying show me where I have sinned and I will be quiet. Of course I am parapharsing, but he makes the claim - show me what I have done wrong to cause this grief on me and my family.
When Elihud spoke Job was silent. Because Elihud told the truth, as I said I am paraphrasing but the object of focus is that job's sin was in that he felt he had no sin.
Yes, God said he was upright and a just man, but Job did think his actions, his good "deeds" were cause for God to bless him. Job's sin was in his motives of WHY God blessed him. Job thought his actions proved he was able to receive God's good grace.
When Elihud spoke - the fourth man, Job was silent and God spoke. And we learn by God's own words that God Blesses whom He decides. Not because of their good or bad actions. Like I said God deemed Job upright and righteous, yet, where was job's humbleness and humility? His sin was in thinking his good actions caused his blessing or pain. Job sinned when he in his motives thought God should bless him because he followed the law. Indeed, God chooses whom He will Bless based in HIS good will, not our actions. And by the grace of Christ and His suffering we are all able to be blessed in eternal life. The rain falls on the unrighteous and the righteous. Satan was used to show Job his own sin - the sin of being "holier than thou: by his actions - I am good - bless me - person. Satan brought out what Job needed to see to become righteous. Satan is used to show us where we can improve.
I have rambled, you do not have to post my comment but if you do I thank you for the webspace for me to share my thoughts. And as always it's just my thoughts. God uses evil to discern the good, and sometimes heart ache is included. It hurts, but we trust and love the Lord. Peace and prayers for you. - Megan
Posted by: Megan at March 30, 2007 03:55 AM