Scribblings

An Abnormality

I really like the plastic surgeon who did my breast reduction surgery in 2005. Not only did he have a great bedside manner and was patient and willing to answer questions, he also believed that the more a patient knew the better of he or she would be. He would anticipate different "problems" that might come up and explain them to me so that if they happened, I didn't get all freaked out. During the last visit when he pronounced me healed and well, he said I should wait a year to get another mammogram. When I got it, he said, I shouldn't be surprised if the doctors found a lot of stuff they didn't like. Most likely it would be caused by scar tissue but it's always better to be safe than sorry. They'll want you to go for a needle biopsy. So go for it but don't let it scare you, he said.

And so I went for my mammogram and wasn't terribly surprised when, the very next day, I got a call from the doctor about an "abnormality" in my right breast--calcium deposits I should have biopsied. Okay, no big deal. I saw the breast surgeon today and she did an ultrasound. There is a cyst and some other thing or other in my right breast. I got a clear view of it. I still wasn't too worried, until the doctor said that if it was just a matter of scar tissue or healing then it would be bilateral.

Huh? She asked if I'd had any problems after the surgery and I didn't think I had. Of course, I do remember that the first surgeon had raised a couple of issues but it was so gently done that I didn't think a thing of it. Had I maybe had an infection that caused this extra weird stuff in my breast? I can't remember.

So next Wednesday I need to go back and have the needle biopsy. TB had taken the afternoon off and had come with me on this appointment and I was glad he was there. It's not so much that I was nervous or scared, it's just so much better not to be alone. I remember having a Pap test come back with abnormal cells right after Rich died and I had to go for further testing alone and it really sucked.

Okay, anyway, the doctor asked if we had any questions and neither of us did. Maybe that surprised her. My feeling is, why ask a bunch of questions now before I know what I'm dealing with? Why freak myself out over maybe nothing? And if it's something, I can't change it anyway. So I'll save all my questions for next week and for when the results come back. Meantime, I just pray.