I bought the book to better understand how to deal with some of Little T's explosions. He has come such a long way since he first came to live with us but every once in a while, we'll still have a major meltdown. When I get a chance I'll set down and do an update on what's going on with our Tomas.
Anyway, the basic premise and theme throughout this book is: "Children do well if theycan"
In other words,when some kids have these tremendous tantrums it's not because they are trying to get attention or are spoiled or are obstinante or rebellious or possessed or what have you. It's because they are not able to comply for some reason. What reason could that be?
Maybe the brain hasn't developed pathways for executive skills--like being able to transition from one activity to another smoothly or to organize thoughts and actions.
Maybe there's a language processing delay.
Maybe they are developmentally delayed in the ability to control their feelings--especially to frustrations.
Maybe they are not able to "see" gray areas yet and everything is black or white.
Maybe social skills are delayed.
The idea is for the parents to act like the child's frontal lobe (what a concept!) to teach them how to develop and use pathways that will help them solve problems and communicate without exploding.
Does it sound like giving in to the child? It's not, not if you read the book all the way through.
It makes perfect sense for a parent to try and stay calm and teach a child how to work through an issue. The plan -- it's actually called "Plan B" -- involves 3 steps. All 3 steps have to be completed and in order for it to be Plan B. Everything is explained and there are lots of examples and sample conversations using Plan B.
I found it to be very informative and I think it could be an effective tool dealing with these kids.
Posted by Cassie at January 28, 2007 04:14 PM | TrackBack