Scribblings

Control

I get Mountain Wings in my email every day. Sometimes there's an inspirational story and sometimes there's just a quote. Whichever, there are some days when it just totally makes a strong impact on me. This is what I got the other day:

He who angers you...controls you.

That stopped me cold for quite a while as I thought about it. I thought about how many days were ruined because I was angry with someone ... her day wasn't necessarily ruined, but mine sure was! To what avail? Nothing changed. Nothing got resolved. All that happened was I felt anger burning the lining of my stomach, deep resentment, depression -- and totally non-enjoyment of whatever was going on around me.

The quote is true. When you are angry with someone, the one you're mad at has the control. While you're angry you can't think much of anything else. It sort of makes you sick. As long as you hold onto that anger, you are the sick one -- not the one who made you mad. That person just blithely goes on her merry way without a thought or a care about it.

What a waste.

But look, I'm not perfect. I know that there are going to be some days when someone just totally pisses me off and I'm going to be upset. The important thing for me to remember is to not hold onto that anger. Let it dissipate. When it tries to reappear, deal with it immediately and get rid of it again. Don't stew about it. Let it go, let it go, let it go ... and don't lose sleep over it!

I don't know if how I deal with my anger is the healthiest. Sometimes I'm aware of just letting it go and telling myself it's not worth it. Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm letting it go or burying it but I still tell myself, it's not worth it. Whichever way I do it, the anger is no longer the focus of my attention. I can enjoy the pretty day and the book I'm reading. I can have a nice conversation with my kids and with TB.

I have control again.