I'm still having a lot of trouble with sleep, worrying about and missing Little T. I was thinking, gee, if we'd never taken Linda in the first place we'd still be able to see the baby. I am so angry with myself for ever listening to her crap. She lies. I wonder what lies she is telling about us where ever she is?
Last year, on March 27, 2004 I wrote another journal entry that I didn't post here but now I am, what the heck? Why should everyone think, poor Linda look how mean everyone is to her when it's not the case?
On that day, Linda told me she had a fever the day before but Kennan left her to go out partying with his friends. She said Kennan's mom helped her take care of the baby for a little while. She told me that when Kennan came in, he decided to go off to Maryland and just leave her again with no help. She told me that Kennan ignores the baby when he cries AND she told me that Kennan was losing patience and she was afraid he'd shake the baby. She made him sound like a real brute!
She hasn’t written goals for herself yet because she’s intimidated by Kennan’s presence. She did begin working on it last night when he left to go partying. She plans to work more on it tonight. TB told her she had to have something ready for Tuesday.We are going with her to her therapy appointment. TB wants to see that she is serious about making changes in her life. He doesn’t want her to just throw her hands up and say, “Take care of me”. That’s what she’s done so many times before – and taken money and gotten into trouble online. I told TB that we needed to talk about goals we have for the time Linda is with us (if that’s what we decide to do and I really think it’s important we do it at this point. She has to get out of there).
Here are other things Linda told me about her relationship with Kennan: She said that he won't let her talk to Michele or her friends and doesn't want her to come and see us. He says get a job but won't give her any transportation. She told me she has to practically beg him to buy the things she & the baby need and that he doesn't seem to care. She said he insults her and makes derogatory comments and treats her like a dog, then says he is kidding. She said he doesn't trust her and always thinks she is up to something.
I have to admit to being very worried about having Linda move in here, especially after what TB told me. I worry about my kids. How will Linda influence them? I worry about the financial strain. I worry about the additional stress on TB and me. I wonder about the impact she will have on our private times? Will she follow through and get a job and do the other things necessary to take care of herself and the baby?What if she doesn’t?
That’s why I suggested to TB that we have goals for Linda while she lives with us. I know she can’t find a job and a place to live so quick. We have to have a timeline and we have to have a way to measure progress. TB and I were too exhausted to discuss it today. We’ll have a plan ready before Tuesday though.
I am very worried, not only for Linda and T but also for the rest of us. Having Linda move in is going to have a major impact on our lives.
I am so angry about how it all turned out. Over and over I castigate myself for ever falling for her sob story and having her move in. It was one of the worst, stupidest things I've ever done! :P
::Bluebonnet Days::
Onesome: Blue...Blue birds singing...what kind of birds say "Spring" to you?
Robins, of course!
Twosome: ...bonnet-- ...what causes get a real "bee" in your bonnet
Homelessness, under insurance/no health insurance, and bigotry
Threesome: days-- ...and what do Spring Days bring and mean to you?
Sunnier days, brighter moods because there's more sun, milder days, and lots of sneezing
Wednesday Whatevers
1. Why are curse words used?
I think they're used in cases of extreme duress or frustration -- like what happened here yesterday. When people use them as part of their everyday speech, I tend to think it's because they are showing off and can't think up a better word.
2. Do you prefer coins or bills?
Bills ... lots of them!
3. How do you cross off dates on your calendar?
Usually I line through them
I'm so SICK of Linda right now. I'm sick of being the fool for sticking up for her especially. And I'm so sick of her holding tomas away from us. I don't belive the fact that "Kennan won't let her leave the house." to come visit us. She's too clever for that. I'm sure if she really CARED about her son, she'd have made a better decision. But she doesn't care about the people she's hurt, her family or even tomas. He's just another means of accomplishing her goals. I'd like nothing better to do than see him right now.
Posted by: heidi at April 7, 2005 06:32 PMIt wasn't stupid of you to let her in, We all have done it. Each and every time she has hurt us. I have taken her in everytime she fell. She has even done it to her so called best friend. So if she is going to keep screwing her family around then she is going to do it to everyone. She did this to herself. I think it is that we all feel sorry for her at one time. Now we feel sorry for Tomas. I have seen the way Kennan treated her and everything that you wrote about is believable to me. I have seen him at his worst. You can Ask Ann marie and Mandee about it too.
Posted by: Michele at April 7, 2005 03:46 PM