So we had another mess yesterday but we're going to try and work it out. Part of it comes from the fact that we all need to talk to each other about resentments that are building up. At the dinner table, the girls had some grievances against Linda who didn't come down for dinner. I got pretty pissy about things too ... the fact that she doesn't use a seat belt if she drives my kids around and also that she was smoking again in front of the girls. TB, who is filled to capacity with his own issues, couldn't handle it and felt like he had to do something so he exploded.
So like I said, we agreed to talk things out. TB made a request that I absolutely agree with: if someone has issues with Linda, they are to take it to her directly. And if she's not at the table, we shouldn't complain about her even to vent. TB, being a guy, feels like he needs to take action to solve a problem that's presented although women just like to kvetch and vent. So it's not fair to TB or to Linda either.
The stress is horrible. TB hasn't been able to sleep right and I have major spasms in my back again and also in my arm. I told Linda I didn't think I could safely babysit T tomorrow because I'm afraid I can't lift him. So she was going to ask her friend to babysit while she's at work.
As for the car ... well, we have to work that one out. I don't like it that Linda has to use my car but really, at this point I think I just have to just put up with it. She can't afford her own car yet. She might be able to move up with this job she has and I'd really like to see her be able to support herself and T. So ... I'll just deal with it for now.
About taking care of T while I'm having these spasms, I think I'll have to be honest and say I just can't do it right now. This is one area where I think it would be bad if I just tried to tough it out because if I can't pick up T to feed him or change him without bringing on more pain then where would I turn if I discovered I really couldn't do it? I'm scheduled for an Xray on Tuesday night but I don't think it'll show anything. Blah.
I let Billy drive the girls to the movie to see The Aviator figuring it would be better for them to just get out for a while. Billy has a very logical mind and sees things clearly when he's not involved. He sees very clearly that TB and I have good reason to be upset ... we just need to communicate it better. Heidi is too emotionally involved to think straight about what is going on and Kristin is very affected too although she tries to hide it.
So we'll just pray.
I say ... and you think ...
.......and we will pray with you. I hope things improve and the stress lets up. Take good care, Cassie.
Posted by: otto at March 2, 2005 08:41 PM