Scribblings

Fibromyalgia?

When my shoulder began bothering me again a month ago I ws pretty fed up with being in pain. Bextra didn?t help and I would not take it again even if it did. Aspirin, tylenol, Motrin, and Advil have never worked completely. I?m thinking, geez, I?m only 49. I don?t want to limit my activities because I?m in pain almost all the time. So I asked Dr. Beppel for a referral to a rheumatologist. I wasn?t exactly sure what they did but I knew they worked with people who have arthritis.

Dr. Hymowitz came in and asked a lot of questions. Some of them puzzled me a little. Did I have frequent headaches? Did I have gastrointestinal problems? Just part of a thorough medical history, I figured. I was assuming he would send me for Xrays of all my joints. I told him about the pains in my joints and muscles, particularly in my arms, shoulders and back. He asked me about how well I sleep at night.

He went to check my arms. He pressed a little on the sides of my elbows. I yelped in surprise. It hurt. He hadn?t pressed hard. There were other places that I reacted to as well ? the sides of my knees, behind my shoulders, on my chest just below the breastbone and on the sides of my hips. What was that all about?

He wanted to know how long my joints had been aching the way they were. I said at least five years. He also asked about my depression and how long I?d been fighting it.

When he was finished with his physical exam, he said that he didn?t think my pain was just coming from arthritis. The Bextra and other stuff should have taken care of the pain if that was the case. He says I have fibromyalgia.

I think I just sat and gawked at him. I couldn?t believe what I was hearing. I?d heard of fibromyalgia of course but to be very honest, I thought it was a convenient condition to give people an excuse to lay back and complain. No, no, no, no, I thought, I don?t have this. I wasn?t sure it was real ? from what I remembered, it was one of those elusive things. You don?t know what causes it and the symptoms seemed vague and general ? and it just couldn?t be!

He was explaining the symptoms. Pain is always present. Yeah, I thought, I do have pain all the time but it?s not that bad! Next there are these tender points, the areas on my body that unexpectedly hurt when he pressed on them. The type of pain ? well, it?s like what I have. Sometimes there?s stiffness and soreness but there?s also burning, stabbing, and throbbing pain. It varies.

There?s also sleep disturbance. I get up like every hour on the hour. I always go to the bathroom ? which is another symptom (bladder spasms). Anyway, about the sleep ? if you don?t get enough sleep, your muscles don?t get a chance to rest and heal themselves. Maybe that?s one of the causes of fibromyalgia. I have sleep apnea ? it?s possible that the CPAP doesn?t make all the symptoms of that go away. Sometimes I?ll sleep all night but still feel exhausted in the morning or feel like I?m going to pass out in the afternoon if I don?t get a nap.

I always thought I must have diabetes because I?d go to the bathroom so much. When my blood?s been tested, though, it?s always been normal. Why do I pee so much? I figured it was inevitable that I?d come back positive one day. Why else would this be happening?

There?s also the persistant tingly feelings in my hands and feet. I was convinced that was diabetes. Dr. R thought it was withdrawal from the meds I was on. It?s been better but the weird feelings haven?t gone away totally.

Then there are the headaches, depression and anxiety. I have had those just about all my life and have been on various meds for them since I was 21.

Dr. Hymowitz prescribed ultracet for pain. He said I should just take it as needed. The Prozac and Ativan I?m taking hopefully would help me sleep (but not always). I?m supposed to go back and see him in 6 weeks.

He gave me a pamphlet that explained fibromyalgia and how to cope with it. I should lose weight (no kidding) and exercise. I need to find some way to relax to reduce my stress level. I need to learn more about what I have. Yeah, I do, especially considering I used to think it was one of those ?convenience? syndromes.

I mean, I?ve had lots of medical tests over the years to try and figure out what was ?wrong? with me and everything always came back normal ? the EEGs, the EKGs, X-rays, blood tests and what have you. So I figured I must be exaggerating what I was feeling.

I don?t think I?ve had this all my life ? or if I have, it hasn?t been this bad. It can come on because of an illness or emotional trauma (well, I?ve certainly had lots of that) or some hormonal changes. Maybe it?s caused by the sleep apnea.

Maybe it?s genetic. I can remember back to my mother?s complaints of fatigue and pain. Does she have it? And what about Heidi, who complains of feeling like she?s ?40 years old?. I thought that she had to be exaggerating, she?s only 16 ? but now I wonder.

On the downside, I called Dr. R and it turns out that I can?t take ultracet while I?m in the prozac study. Why? I wondered and he said it?s because it affects the central nervous system. Great. So ? do I continue with the study or do I take the ultracet? What if that doesn?t work either?

It feels weird to be diagnosed. I don?t know if I feel relieved or not. I guess I better go learn more about it.