This is why mothers go gray.
Not long after I?d made all Heidi?s travel arrangements to go to Maryland I began worrying. I heard that it was supposed to be raining heavily today so a lot of my thoughts focused on us getting stuck on a road or Heidi?s bus getting stuck or Emma?s father getting stuck ? okay enough of that.
The next thing I worried about was the fact that Heidi would have to change buses in Philadelphia. She?d had a 30 minute wait for the bus that would take her to Baltimore. Hm. A lot can happen in a half hour. I had visions of Heidi being lost or abducted and it was really creeping me out.
I was so worried this morning I had to take a klonopin because I felt my blood pressure going wild and my heart thumping.
We got to the Greyhound station early and so I had a lot of time to go over stuff with Heidi: explaining the stops on the ticket, explaining how to find the bus she was supposed to switch to, explaining again how to use the cell phone, and warning her against being all alone anywhere. I told her to hang out with the driver or with a group of people.
Heidi?s bus was a half hour late and the front of it read ?OMAHA?. Omaha? Where in Maryland is Omaha? That?s in Nebraska! But it really was supposed to be going to Philadelphia so we walked Heidi to the bus, gave lots of hugs and ?I love you?s and ?have a wonderful time? and ?call me when you get to Baltimore?. And then the bus left.
I was feeling more secure about everything because we?d gone to Verizon and paid for a third line. We wanted to Heidi to have a cell phone in case something came up. TB programmed phone numbers into it for Heidi, our home phone, both our cells, Sue?s home (Emma?s mother), and Randy (her dad)?s home and cell phones. We got a cute little monkey cover for it and I told her to clip it to her bag, putting it just inside.
About 20 minutes after we saw Heidi off, she called to say she was already in Philadelphia and was waiting to board the next bus.
Ah, so all had gone well and I could breathe a sigh of relief!
When we got home, I lay down to take a nap and conked out cold. I?d set my alarm to go off at 5 so I could get up to go with TB and pick up Billy. Kristin was using my computer and when the alarm went off, she said TB had already left and I should sleep. So I mumbled to wake me in a half hour and went back to sleep. I?d already been sleeping since 2:30 ? I must have needed it.
Next thing I know, Kristin is shaking my shoulder and handing me the portable phone. ?It?s for you, Linda said,? she told me and looked very worried.
I figured, okay, Heidi?s there at last. I said hello and Sue identified herself and then added, ?We don?t have Heidi.?
?WHAT?? What could that mean? Where was my baby?
?I got a call from Randy at the Travel Plaza. They?ve been waiting for an hour and she hasn?t come.?
Part of me is thinking: kidnap, bus accident, bomb, tragedy.
My mind was also freaking out, trying to shake off all the residuals of sleep. ?Has that bus come in?? I asked. Sue said she didn?t know.
Right away I?m thinking, Heidi called as she was on line. Someone could have snatched her then. Or the bus went off the road and into a ravine. Or some terrorist on there blew the bus up or shot everyone.
?She?s not answering the cell phone,? Sue said.
Because she can?t, I thought. They won?t let her call. Or she?s dead, they?ve killed her.
I told her I would call Greyhound to see if the bus had been delayed.
So, see? On the one hand half my brain was trying to work things out logically. The other half of my brain was screaming with hysteria. My fingers felt so cold and they were shaking. I tried to call Information at Greyhound but the guy said he couldn?t help me; I?d need to call the terminal. So first I tried Baltimore and there was no answer. I tried Philadelphia and there was no answer. Now my logical side is beginning to panic too. I was looking up another number to call when I realized there was a message on voice mail.
It was Sue. Heidi was okay. The bus was late. She?d been sound asleep and another passenger heard her cell phone and woke her up.
Thank God. But for the length of time I didn?t know, I swear I aged 10 years and my hair got grayer. When you don?t know where your child is, time slows down to an unbearable crawl. Even after I talked to Heidi, my stomach was still tied in knots. I felt like I was shaking all over on the inside.
Luckily, Linda and Little T came back from their house sitting adventure early. I?d missed the baby and now I held him close to me and showered him with kisses from me and from his Aunt Heidi, alive and safe in Baltimore.
1. Show off your multi-tasking talents! What do you/can you do while you blog at the same time?
Well, definitely I?m not a multi-tasker! I can listen to music but that?s it. I throw myself into what I?m writing and if someone comes along to talk to me, I lose my place entirely.
2. It?s late. I?m not sleeping. I?m resisting the munchies. Do you have a favorite blog food? You know - the one food, in general, that you bring with you as you plop in front of the computer with intentions to blog?
My favorite blog foods are not healthy and they are not going to help anyone resist munchies. I like either candy or peanuts with me.
3. Unique finds? Funny posts? Thought provoking writes? Ire inducing rants? List ?em!
I am really impressed with Mrs. Alcoholic?s diary. She is so honest about what it?s like to live with a man who has a drinking problem and how her husband?s alcoholism affects her and impacts on their children. She doesn?t try to cover up or lighten things either. She tells it like it happens and like it is.
Hammorabi blogs from Iraq. He supports the United States effort in Iraq. He?s written about the horrors of living under Saddam Hussein. He is refreshingly honest too.
Fayrouz blogs from Dallas but she is from Iraq. I?ve been learning a lot from her entries too.
I feel I have a lot in common with Widower. He lost his wife at a young age. He writes about how he coped with the loss of not only his wife but his unborn child. Eventually he was able to marry again and celebrate the birth of a son.
I say ? and you think ?