Guard well within yourself that treasure, kindness. Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire without meanness. -- George Sand
True kindness really is a treasure given without thought of reward. Sometimes people will do something nice but it’s just to make a favorable impression. Sometimes people want to fit into a “good neighbor” kind of role that they made up in their minds. So maybe they teach Sunday school or they volunteer on a committee serving their community or maybe they volunteer to help teachers in school. Then there are others that help out just because they want to and they’re not thinking about an image they project.
I have a friend, Jean, in Maryland. Jean is one of the people I’m thinking about who is truly kind. She pitches in and volunteers to help out and she always follows through. She and her husband Bob have gone out of their way sometimes to drive us places when the car kept breaking down and to watch the kids last minute because of emergencies. You can tell when people who do nice things are fishing for a “thank you” or for a feeling of “you owe me, you know you do.” I have never ever felt that from Jean. I can think of other people, too but it would just be repeating the idea that they act without hesitation based on just wanting to, not needing to just so they look better.
I think acting in true kindness is following in the steps of Jesus. He performed so many miracles to help people and not so they would say what a wonderful man he was and how grateful they were to him. They said it anyway but that's not why He did it. He did it out of love and because it was the right thing to do at the time.
Sometimes we are kind to people and they take advantage or don’t follow through. So you’ve put out this effort and for … what? The thing is, with true kindness you don’t dwell on the negative aspect. The most you feel is sad because the person you helped wasn’t able to succeed. Sometimes people will take advantage of your kindness and keep asking for help. Sometimes it’s kinder not to help anymore.
I can’t imagine anyone acquiring much of anything with meanness … except for power, maybe. You can have power and wealth, though, and still be a kind person. Sometimes people look down on others who have less power and money. I’m thinking maybe a rich person looking down on someone on welfare or something. The rich person figures he was able to get where he was by hard work, so why can’t this person on welfare? If you can’t see it from another’s point of view and knowing the person’s life experience, how can you made a judgment on someone? That’s mean to categorize people based on where they fall in the social scale. I don’t think it’s possible to be really kind with judgments like that in place.
People are helped out when they aren’t made to feel that they are lacking or to blame for what’s happened to them. I’m not talking about people in a jam because they’ve broken a law. I’m talking about people who fall into some problem because of something that happened to them, like becoming injured or losing a job and then having trouble paying the bills.
Helping for whatever reason is a good thing to do. It’s just that it means more to you if you already feel good about yourself and you help out just because.