November 06, 2003
Emotional Climate
It's terribly amusing how many different climates of feeling one can go through in a day.
-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh
What is your usual emotional climate like? Is it consistent throughout the day, or does it change by the hour? What type of weather do you consider your typical good day? Typical bad day?
I would like to think that I have a nice, pleasant and consistent ?emotional climate? throughout the day and maybe throughout the week. A smile on my face for everyone and nothing that bothers me, makes me sad or makes me mad. Somehow, I don?t think so but it?s always harder to see in yourself things that others can see clearly.
I was a very moody kid. I could plunge into the depths of despair without warning. My mother said I was ?sensitive?. I cried for the nurses Richard Speck murdered and I cried for the little girl who was lured away by a stranger and killed and I cried for actor Pete Duel after he committed suicide. My mother didn?t know what to make of it. After all, I didn?t know any of these people. I liked to think it was ?the Irish? in me. I wasn?t too sure what that meant but I sure heard people say it often enough.
My dad was (or is) moody, too, and I can see in many ways I?m like him. Oh, the horror! I?m hoping that I turn some of that stuff around. He would keep things to himself ? it?s called ?stuffing feelings? now ? until the raging feelings got to be too much and then he?d explode in an act of violence. One time he choked my brother because the floor wasn?t mopped right and Pete invited my dad to ?do it yourself.? That didn?t go over too well. Most of the times, he?d strike out against my mother.
After that, he?d subside and become withdrawn. I mean, really withdrawn to the point of almost catatonia. He wouldn?t talk to anyone voluntarily, not even to Pete and me. One time, he didn?t talk to anyone for three weeks. They were the most uncomfortable, unnerving three weeks I?d ever experienced. I don?t want to be like that.
On the other hand, I don?t like to be like my mom either. She gets mad and goes off like a firecracker and she says some pretty mean things. That?s how I learned that she really didn?t want to have children after she married my dad. Oh, nice. It was probably something she spouted in a fury and she didn?t really mean it (maybe) but it still hurt.
My good and bad weather days would be pretty much as anyone would guess. A sunny, dry day with a light breeze ? that is my good day. No surprise. And a bad day would be rainy and damp ? it would match my sad mood. A cloudy day would represent worrying. Partly cloudy and breezy ... sometimes I'm not angry about something but I want to pop off and vent. To me, I'm just making noise but I guess it bothers other people. My kids will say, "Mom, calm down!" The clouds cover the sun -- I feel misunderstood.
And snowy days represent those days when I'm just in wonder or awe of everything. 
It's rainy and damp outside today but not inside. I guess it's more partly cloudy inside. ;)
If you won a million dollars...
1. What are the first 3 things you'd buy?
the kids? college education, a beach house, and a top of the line entertainment system
2. What are 3 things you'd do?
TB and I would travel ? places I?d like to see: Ireland, the Bahamas, Germany, Cancun ?
3. What are 3 charities or people you'd give some of the money to?
Church, the Marfan Foundation & the Diabetes Association
Onesome: Keep- What?s your favourite keepsake? Do you have something that has so much sentiment attached you?ll keep it forever? Tell us!
I?m sure I have more than a few. For now I?ll say my Christmas ornaments. Many of them I made myself. The others all have memories around each one ? baby?s first ornaments, mother-to-be ornaments, personality/character ornaments, and so on. I was totally devastated when I thought I?d lost them. The ornaments wouldn?t mean anything to anyone except for me and they?ll make the perfect keepsake. They won?t take up a lot of room either!
Twosome: The Back Porch- We?re named for Deb?s back porch, a place where people go to relax and wind down. Where?s your relax and unwind spot?
I have two places. One is on the sofa next to TB. There are a few programs we enjoy watching together and I find it very relaxing. The other place is in my room. I have this wonderful sliding rocking chair and I love to sit there and read at night. Lately, all my stuffed animals have been perched there so I?ve been reading on my bed! :P
Threesome: Donate! Got a cause you donate to regularly?
I?m guessing this is other than church? I have a couple of old favorites and one new one: Long Island Cares (this is an organization serving homeless and hungry people on Long Island, founded by the late Harry Chapin)
Hi sweetie!
I really enjoyed Reading this piece. It sure brought back a flood of memories from my childhood, some good some not so good.
Love ya!