Sometimes it helps to make contact with other grands who are trying to re-establish their visiting rights. Sometimes the grands are advocating to make sure their rights are protected under the law.
Here is a link to the names & addresses of grandparent organizers, state by state:
Things didn't go well today at the mediation hearing. I'm too upset to write much about it right now.
One of my favorite pass times when I visited my grandma was reading Little Golden books with her. It was a special treat for me especially because I picked out most of the books she bought. I'd go along with her to the grocers' on Saturdays and she'd have me choose a book. It was understood that the books would stay at Grandma's house and all the grandkids could share them when they visited. Still, I felt very special because I had the honor of deciding which book we'd buy that week.
I have such a love of reading. I passed that along to my kids. I began reading to them while they were just infants. I read mostly board books and some Dr. Seuss books until they were old enough to choose the books they wanted from the library. It didn't matter which book they selected. If it was too hard for them to read themselves, I'd read to them at night. I really miss that a lot.
I loved reading to Tomas and I miss that very much too. I read to Taylor and Nik while they were here and I miss that too. How does a grandma share her love of reading from such a long distance?
That's where Paper Back Swap and book clubs like Scholastic come in.
Scholastic Books offers titles I remember fondly -- lots of Dr. Seuss, Berenstain Bears, Arthur and Thomas the train stories and books. Membership isn't terribly expensive and for about $7.99 a shipment, I can divide up 4-6 books between my preschool grandkids, Taylor, Tomas & Nikolas.
I discovered an extensive list of young readers' books on Paperback Swap. What is really nice about the way it works is this: you open an account and list 9 books you're willing to trade for 3 swap credits. Once one of your books is requested, you mail it at media rate, get another credit and then you can start requesting books until your credits are gone. I've traded and asked for over a dozen books this way. Anyway, I saw some good books for young readers and requested some for Brandon and Ryan.
When I send off the books, I'll write to the kids and say that I miss them and how much I enjoyed reading these books and ask them to write me back and let me know if they enjoyed the book.
There are two things I'm trying to do here, build a bond with the kids and encourage them to enjoy reading. Will it work? Time will tell...
From Ohio State University Extension Factsheet
Benefits of Grandparenting
HYG-5313-98G
Sharon L. Mader
Extension Agent, Family & Consumer Sciences, Sandusky CountyApproximately 75 percent of Americans over the age of 65 have grandchildren. Most grandparents begin their grandparenting role during their middle age. The average age of becoming a grandparent is between 49 and 53 years; however, because of the increased teen pregnancy rate, more and more parents are becoming grandparents in their thirties.
Many grandparents are very busy, active people. Many are employed and often at the peak of their careers. They may be involved with the care of their parents as well as their own grandparents. They may also be going through many changes, including midlife stresses such as a career change, divorce, widowhood, remarriage, health problems, and/or depression.
How well the parent and grandparent interact has a great influence on whether the relationship with the grandchildren is close or distant.
Grandparents who live near their grandchildren are needed to contribute and help in the care of their grandchildren. Grandparents need to remember they should respect the parent's way of doing things.
Benefits of Grandparenting
The benefits of being a grandparent include:Being involved in your children's and grandchildren's lives and their many achievements.
Providing extended family support, encouragement, and/or companionship.
Being a better grandparent than perhaps you were a parent, due to years of experience.
Continuing the family line.
Benefits to Grandchildren
Grandchildren also receive important benefits from grandparenting, which may include:Developing positive attitudes toward aging.
Learning about their families' origins, culture, and customs or traditions.
Developing life skills and leisure-time activities.
Being a "Good" Grandparent
Grandparents generally want to develop a "good" relationship with their grandchildren. Consider these suggestions in developing your style of grandparenting:Listen to your grandchildren. By tuning in to them, you may be able to tune out some of your problems.
Talk with your grandchildren. Keep these tips in mind:
Get to the point and stick to it without rambling or repeating.
Be prepared to talk about lively and interesting subjects.
Avoid complaints. Stay away from such subjects as health or minor everyday gripes.
Avoid concentrating on I, I, I, or me, me, me. Do NOT monopolize the conversation.
Maintain eye contact to determine if the listener is really hearing what is said or is bored.
Be enthusiastic and excited about what is being said.
Remember you are the GRAND-parent. You do NOT have the right to take away a mother's or a father's right to do their own parenting.
Discuss discipline with parents and discipline only when you are in charge. Strive for consistency between what is permitted by parents and grandparents.
Express your feelings by laughing when you are happy and crying when you are sad.
Babysit only when you want to, feel up to it, and are not being inconvenienced.
Be aware of the example you are setting, because the grandchildren and your children will learn much about love from seeing and feeling it.
Love your grandchildren for what they are, not for what you think they should be.
Have Fun with Your Grandchildren
Most grandparents pursue their roles out of a strong desire to have fun.Take the time to be with your grandchildren and build a lasting wonderful relationship by spending time with them on holidays, developing hobbies, going on outings together, giving gifts, writing letters, and/or sending electronic mail.
Long Distance Grandparenting
Many grandparents do not live geographically close to their grandchildren.To develop a special close relationship when you are miles apart, try some of these ideas:
Exchanging books and music cassette tapes/compact disks.
Mailing newspaper clippings, pictures, school newspapers, and artwork.
Recording (audio and/or video) special events at school, church, or extracurricular activities.
Whether your contribution is large or small to your grandchildren, what you do is important. When a close relationship is formed, this attachment is often developed for life. This attachment comes with the experience of being loved and accepted, a sense of security and warmth, and the gift of a role model grandparent.The benefits of being a grandparent are very similar to the following famous quote by Helen Keller:
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, or even touched; they must be felt with the heart."
Adapted from: Lingren, H. G. (1986). Being A GRAND' Parent, HEG 86-210, NebGuide, Cooperative Extension, University of Nebraska, Lincoln.