The man's side of it!

We Shall Overcome!!

I woke from my nap this afternoon. I have been having very strange lucid dreams this week. Not Disturbing just strange. I usually don't remember much of them immediately but every now and then a remnant stays with me. Such was the case this afternoon. I woke up thinking about Dr Greenbaum . I was told in the hospital that he can do three Duodenal Switches a day. As I awoke I was doing the math in my head.

Dr. Greenbaum: 3 per day X 5 days per week=15 surgeries, add to that the same number from Dr. ING and Dr Wasser that = 45 per week on average. Add up the weeks to get the total just from This Bariatric Center and you get 2340 surgeries per year.

I have been FAT all my life, except for a brief period when I was on the Nutrition Control Diet. Basically a modified food fast. I ate 9 OZ of protean a day and all the water my bladder could hold. It was great I lost 160lbs. I couldn't keep it off though, I developed some health problems and rapidly gained the weight back and then some. Talk about Depressing. I mention this to say that I've been on both sides of the fence before, Fat and Slim I went from a 56" waist down to a 28" waist in less than six months and then slowly ever so slowly back up to a 54" waist. Before I started this surgery I crammed my body into a pair of size 50" waist "stretch Jeans." and have worn them since I married my Beloved, Cassie.

I soon learned to judge people by their eyes and their actions. My dad and mom used to say that the eyes are the window into the soul. After seeing death close up as it happened I was shaken to the core, it was my sweet childlike first wife Audrey I believe this now with all my heart. When I closed her eyes I knew she had gone to glory and was now just an empty shell. I believe that all people will be going to heaven when they die. Both the good and the bad. The Righteous will be judged worthy and spend eternity with Jesus in Heaven and then their is the unrighteous who will be judged and sent to the place where the bogeyman will soon be. Note:(Read the Bible to learn how to be counted Righteous)

I don't know where that thought came from as I was trying for a light post. I've been very emotional after the surgery sobbing and weeping for no apparent reason. I'll talk to Dr. Greenbaum and or Tina Marie about this on Monday.

Any way, back on track... All my life I have been taunted by friends, family, doctors, bosses even people who didn't know me. Your lazy; So I worked twice as hard. My body is so beaten up because of it. You have no will power; So I concentrated on trying and failing over and over and over. Their is a stigma on fat people, and the only to remove it is to lose the weight.

When I meet people the first thing I do is to make and hold eye contact. I try to search their souls to see the kind of people they are. That's why I was so confounded trying to pick my next President. Their eyes told me they are both good men who will do their best to lead this country in a new direction. I voted for John McCain though for his stand on the moment of Creation, that settled the matter for me instantly.

Any way back to the rants and raves of this madman. I next look at their face and then forget the rest. They are people I am a people that settles it for me. Do the math! if only one bariatric center was cranking out 2340 a year soon to be slim Jim's and Jeans and with the rising obesity rate, more and more people will be getting this type of help. We are going to be a VERY BIG (pun intended) voting block. Even bigger than us "Boomers" group of which Cassie and I belong to. with all these people getting the help they need and more and more medical technology changing for the better, those nonfat people netter watch out.. We can then look down our noses at them. Having proven to the world who we are!Here are some cool diet cartoons that were sent to I hope the delight and inspire you all.

From my heart,

The Man

Bwaaaa Hoohooo Bwaahah hah hah haaaaaa

Learning Life lessons in an unusual Way

When I was growing up my biological father never taught me the life lessons every boy should be taught if he is to be a successful man. Fortunately my mom remarried a man who showed me the love, discipline and all the other important lessons I would need to be a successful man. Except for one little detail...

Monday November 11th. I went to Our Lady of Lordes Medical Center to have bariatric surgery (Duodenal Switch). This is a decision I made about 6 months ago and actually had to remake everyday since then. I had to wait so long due to insurance issues not because I wasn't qualified. I had a BMI (Body Mass Index) of 54. I weighed in at 416 lbs. I have had 3 rotator cuff injuries and surgeries caused by work. I still have issues with my shoulders. Last year in September I became disabled and could no longer work. I discovered that I had Spinal Stenosis as well as two burst discs in the L4 & L5 Region caused by stupidly trying to lift a RotoTiller into the back of my van by myself. The surgeons laughed at my request for surgery telling me that I was a bad risk for this type of surgery, but if I lost weight...

So that's what started me on this long frustrating journey. I first went to Dr Brolin of a Bariatric center in Princeton. They took all my info, found that I qualified and started the insurance approval. The problem with Brolin's practice was that he required $1800.00 up front. I just couldn't afford it so after starting a diet plan and going through all the motions I now had to go through the whole shebang once again. Although I did lose some weight 22 lbs. I went with my second choice The South Jersey Bariactrics group. I am so glad I found Dr. Greenbaum. I had to wait for my Medicare to come into effect, but as soon as it did I was on a mission! and everything happened so fast.

I mentioned that I had to remake my decision for surgery every day. that was because my wife before we married in June 2002 had a friend, Jon who went through a very successful RNY Gastric Bypass and died of complications soon after. I knew my decision was going to cause Cassie a lot of stress because it was much more invasive. But I desperately needed this chance to improve my life condition and live a normal life hopefully with less pain (and hopefully go back to a career I loved as a Local 27 Sheet Metal Worker). Everyone thinks when a person endures terrific pain that they are strong. Not so. I just put on my show face and struggled as does everyone who suffers chronic and un-treatable pain. But I was in tears all the time, they just didn't show.

When I received the date of my surgery I had to start a "Shake Diet" Three shakes a day and all the water I could hold. That was tough. For whatever reason all my life I have had an insatiable appetite for food that was a constant "Monkey on my back." Everyone at the "Bariatrics Bunch" Treated me with respect and dignity which made a terrific impact on me. Almost every doctor I had, told me it was just a matter of "WILL POWER!" "MIND OVER STOMACH!" or worse yet, I was just "Weak." Not at the Bariactrics Bunch or the Lady of Lordes Hospital. They are all wonderful caring people and I love them all for their care of me there.

Dr. Greenbaum and the surgical staff who did the surgery and all the post op follow up but also the nursing staff and all the other people I met at the hospital there were great. There was this one older lady who was always so apologetic when she came to check my sugar, her name was Ester, she was so sweet. I didn't get a picture of her unfortunately. There were two other nurses who stood out above the rest, Danuta my night nurse for the first four nights, and Fred my day nurse for the last two days of my stay at the hospital.Danuta is a very sweet and kind woman whose style of nursing made me feel like a beloved sick child. She checked up on me all night long, never complained, always concerned with my care. I think I overheard Danuta asking for some help at the begining of her shift ( I didn't sleep well due to back pain that the pain meds didn't help) and the two she asked for help just ignored her and took off. Even after that which if I heard correctly she was still kind and her treatment of me was superb. I would have been very angry with those people and it would have showed for the rest of the night. Not Danuta, she just dug in and kept going. Fred and I had a chat about his children and his care of me was very professional, very much like caring for a child in need. It's extremely difficult for me to form emotional bonds with other men , but with Fred I found a kindred spirit. He is committed to doing his best, just as my step dad taught me. No matter what you do in life, whether it be a policeman, fireman, In Fred's case Nurse, or even a garbage man, Do your best. Fred is a great nurse. I remember all the bad connotations of men in nursing careers years ago, when it was considered strange for a man to do "womens work!" Not in Fred's case, He is a Manly man and proud of his aabilities

You can see Fred and Danuta's character in their photo's. Fred is a strong family man with children he just adores who wears the badge of nurse with pride, dignity and rightly so. And Danuta is sweet, a little shy when I asked to take her picture, she said she was tired and I just told her she looked great and caught her with a shy smile. I am so glad I was able to take their pictures and say thank you for tthewonderful care of me in my time of need. I want them to know I will be praying for them and their families every time I think of them. And if some how our paths cross again I will be twice blessed for it. The other person I came in contact with was TinaMarie TinaMarie had the bypass surgery a few years ago and when she told me that my eyes popped out. "Did you get the comestic surgery after you lost the weight." I asked. "No." she said "She just hides it well." I couldn't tell she was ever overweight she looks marvelous. Any we we talked every time she went on her rounds and she is an inspiration to me. I didn't get a picture of her either.

I hope that as you read this, if you need care at a medical facility such as Our Lady of Lourdes you meet up with Fred and Danuta, they are wonderful people great at their chosen professions (not an easy or nice job and that's the truth) and just the nicest people you will ever meet. I am not able to do very much to thank you Fred and Danuta except to hope they accept this praise as my thank you! ( Special note to Fred) I didn't get a chance to give Danuta the Address of my web log so if you will pass it along to her She can see it too.

Oh with all this rambling I almost forgot the title of this post, "Learning Life lessons in an unusual Way." The life lesson I learned was why men have to work. I'm 54 years old and have been working since I was fourteen years old. This is a new discovery for me so don't make fun of it. I always thought it was because of Adam and Eve biting the forbidden fruit checkin' each other's nakedness and hiding from God. Then the curse in Genesis 3:17-19 KJV "And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return. Hey that's what I was taught in Sunday School; WE bit and now we gotta work.

No the real reason Men have to work is:

Wait for it:

It's gonna grab you when you finally get it:

Now! The real reason Men have to work is because Daytime TV Sucks!

Gotcha!
Please forgive my emotional outburst!

More diet stuff to make you laff

]]>

Some political and dieting humor

A political cartoon from the 'Net

And some more Garfield dieting woes from my friend Nancy

CLICK TO VIEW FULLSIZE

Some Dieting Tips

I found these tips at GreatestJournal.com

1. Start the day with one 8 oz. Glass of water before breakfast. It helps to get you on the right track for the day.
2. Remember your ABCs – All Bites Count.
3. Use a salad plate instead of a dinner plate.
4. To avoid snacking while cooking or baking, drink water or chew gum.
5. Build a food “treat” into your food allowance every day.
6. If vulnerable to snacking later in the evening, floss and brush your teeth. This will deter you from putting anything else in your mouth.
7. Track what you eat, calories, and other things in a journal daily. You can use it to find problems that may be hindering your success.
8. After dinner, clean up the kitchen and turn off like lights. If you feel the urge to eat something, you might think twice about actually doing so.
9. Before indulging, ask yourself: Do I really want this and is it worth it in the end?
10. When going out to eat, wear a belt. A snug-fitting belt might help prevent overeating.
11. Review all offerings on a buffet completely before starting to fill your plate.
12. Take the emphasis off eating as a primary source of pleasure and do things that make you feel good about yourself.
13. Put groceries in the back seat or trunk of the car after shopping so you won’t eat from the grocery bags on the way home.
14. Make each meal special. Use a pretty plate, make an elegant vegetable side dish, drink water with your meal out of a pretty wine glass, and always eat at the table.
15. Avoid the temptation of leftovers by trying to cook no more than what you need.
16. Eat some vegetables to take the edge off your appetite before you go out to eat.
17. Place sticks of chewing gum in the cupboard in front of troublesome foods as a gentle reminder to take the gum and shut the cupboard.
18. The “15-minute-rule”: If you’re experiencing cravings during the day, wait 15 minutes. During that time, keep yourself busy and drink a glass of water. After 15 minutes, if you still have the craving, have a small portion of the food you’re craving.
19. Portion control is a cornerstone to weight loss. Even a few extra bites can impact your weight.
20. Be smart about what you drink. Save your calories for good instead.
21. Have your food customized. Restaurants can be quite accommodating when it comes to preparing a meal to your specifications.
22. Turn off the TV. Watching TV during mealtime might tune out internal cues and signals that tell us we’re full.
23. Rearrange the fridge. To combat impulse eating, place fruits, veggies, and light yogurt up front.
24. Fried is a “fat alert”. Opt for foods that are baked, broiled, grilled, steamed, or roasted. Words such as “crispy,” “crunchy,” or “battered,” should ring the “fried alarm.”
25. Look in the mirror every night and tell yourself what a great person you are. The more you like yourself, the more apt you are to reach your weight goal.
26. Don’t deprive yourself. Think, “I am going to have it, just not now.” Later, if you still want it, have it – in a small controlled portion.
27. If you believe in yourself you will succeed. Make yourself #1.
28. Persistence, not perfection, will get you to your goal.
29. Small steps lead to big successes. Set small goals – the smaller the better. This makes them more manageable and livable and helps ensure success.
30. Always be your own best friend no matter how your day goes. Respond positively, as if your best friend has had the experience.
31. It is much better to let that food go to waste than to go to your waist.
32. To succeed in your journey, act as if you’re already there.
33. A moment on the lips, forever on the hips. Think before eating!
34. When you go to the grocery store and have the urge to buy something you did not plan for, think: “It looks better on the shelf than it will on me.”
35. Follow the four P's for Success. Plan – Prepare – Practice – Prevent.
36. Keep your “before” picture visible at all times as a reminder of your commitment to lose weight.
37. Don’t let a bad moment make you have a bad day – or a bad day make you have a bad week.
38. Recognize that new habits need practice until they become your own.
39. Don’t fret about the weight you haven’t lost. Keeping a positive, balanced, perspective is key.
40. Don’t join the “clean your plate” club.
41. When dining out, request a doggie bag right away. Pack up half of the meal before starting to eat.
42. Always carry a water bottle.
43. Always keep snacks handy. Fill small bags with low calorie, low fat snacks.
44. Put salad dressing into a small dish instead of on your salad. Dip your fork into the dressing first, then into the salad.
45. Create your own cookbook of healthy recipes that everyone you eat with enjoys.
46. Freeze your fruit! Frozen grapes taste great, and frozen bananas make great additions to juice or milk-based smoothies.
47. To make drinking water a little easier, drink from a fancy glass and add lemon.
48. In restaurants, request that salad dressings, sauces, and spreads be served on the side so you can determine how much goes on your food.
49. Plan your week ahead and schedule times for exercise.
50. If you’re feeling unmotivated to exercise, put on your workout clothes. It will help you get into the mood.
51. Wear a pedometer all the time. Seeing the mileage rack up can really encourage you to move instead of sit.
52. Start an exercise calendar and give yourself a colored star each day you have 30 minutes of exercise.
53. Take the longest routes, climb stairs, and go out of your way to walk as much as possible. Remember that every bit of motion helps.
54. Don’t bite off more than you can chew. Concentrate on one lifestyle change at a time for a few days or even the entire week before making another.
55. If you’re disappointed at the scale, give it another week. Sometimes it takes two weeks to show a loss.
56. Look at a pound of butter to celebrate how significant a one pound weight loss is.
57. When you lose a pound, reward yourself with a non-food item.
58. Give yourself breathing room – take simple, small steps to improve your lifestyle. For example, walk an extra five minutes a day and increase the pace gradually.
59. Accept that you will make mistakes along the way. What you do about and learn from any mistake is what’s really important.
60.Leave inspirational messages on your computer screen at work or mirrors at home to keep you motivated.

More diet chuckles

Diet update: I have lost a total of 52 pounds since I decided to get the bariatric surgery. The surgery will take place on Monday the 11th. I started drinking only the shakes the doctor provided last Thursday and lost a total of 34 pounds. I just wish I wasn't so hungry. But the surgery will help with the hunger and make it easier to eat less. Then when I lose enough weight and get the stress off my back I can start to exercise and get back in shape. I hope it helps my back, at least the doctors seem to think so and maybe I won't need the back surgery.

I received another Garfield comic from my friend Nancy. (Thanks Nancy!)

After I first discovered Garfield as a young boy I secretly desired an fat orange cat of my own. There was just something about that cat. For years everyone in my family thought that I hated cats mainly because my mom's cat Jerry clawed my infant daughter Michele across the face for no reason at all. That cat used up a few of it's nine lives after I threw it out the door.

When I married Cassie and fell in love with her cats my family was astonished. They could not believe that I was the same guy. Soon after Cassie and I married I told her of my secret. I always wanted a fat orange cat. One day while we were shopping at Pet Smart for dog and cat food we checked out the cats in the shelter there for adoption. As soon as I saw this big fat Bengal mix I fell in love. I told Cassie I wanted to adopt him. Cassie said but he's not orange! I didn't care, he was beautiful and his name was Kozmo. After the adoption process was over I brought Kozmo home and he has been my cat. I few months later we did the shopping bit again at the Pet Smart and I got my orange cat Cubby and Cassie brought home Sox. We are one big happy family now with six very sweet and lovable cats. Oh and an ADD dog.

Here's the comic.

CLICK TO VIEW FULL SIZE

Kozmo Cubby

Dieting Chuckles

How can I not laugh at Garfield's dieting woes. I understand exactly how he feels though. Happily heading towards the dinner table only to be confronted by... A Vegetable! ARRRGH! Or in my case a foul smelling, and tasting shake! last night at the dinner table Kristin saw that I was drinking a strawberry shake and asked me how it tasted. I gave it some thought and turned to her and said; Cold Pepto Bismal! ARRRGH!

Thank you Jeff and Nancy for the cartoon, prayers and encouragement. Oh, and to Jim Davis too!

A smile always lasts longer than a frown and is much easier to make. [8^)

CLICK TO SEE FULL SIZE

Words to consider when voting tomorrow

Dieting Blues Update!

This is day five of my "Liquid diet." (Yechhh!) I lost fifteen pounds! I can't believe it! The three "shakes" I have to eat (drink) are 280 calories each (that's only 840 calories total) and even with my cheating the one day with a sub from Subway I still lost fifteen pounds! It's a tough diet to stick too though. Cassie is making Crockpot Chicken "Shack-a-tory" and the wonderful fragrance is wafting through the house. I want to chew my fingers to the third knuckle! Oh well, this is the price I have to pay for all those years of neglect. I'll have my "Banana Cream Shake" and the rest of the night I will still taste it through the burps. That's something right?

PS: Thanks Nancy and Jeff for your prayers and encouragement it helps!

Dieting Blues

One of the things I have to do to prepare for the Bariatric surgery on Monday the 10th is go on a special diet. I get to enjoy this un-delicious nutritional diet shake three times a day. It's called Ultramet Original. It comes in four extremely gross flavors; Banana Cream, Vanilla, Chocolate, and Strawberry. Actually the Vanilla and Banana Cream aren't so bad. But they do not satisfy my appetite in any way shape or form. In fact Saturday, after only two days of this stuff I talked Cassie into our getting subs at Subway for dinner. (with the promise that I will be good for the rest of the week!) The other way I cheated was to have an apple or two each day (so I'd feel as if I ate something!) Thank goodness that the surgery is only a week away or I will go berserk!

Finally

I have finally got a date for my bariatric surgery; November 10th. I have been anxiously awaiting this surgery because of all the problems I have associated with the weight I'm carrying. Not least of which is my back injury. The surgery is called the Duodenal Switch. This is a more invasive surgery than the RNY Gastric bypass but It has a better chance of helping me to lose all the weight I need. and still leave me the ability to eat most of the foods I enjoy. So now I covet the fervent prayers of the righteous and know that everything will go smoothly. I ask for prayers for Cassie as well as this is more stress on her. Check out this video of what will be done:

Dance off instead of debate

Wouldn't it be great if all Presidential Debates went this way!

Unbelievable McCain Vs. Obama Dance-Off - Watch more free videos

Great article on "Grandparants!" and Single Father Parenting

How Important Is The Role Of Grandparents?

By Anthony Santiago

Help, Wisdom and Experience Can Make Life Easier

Grandparents play an important role in the whole parenting issue and they can be highly helpful. But on the contrary, they can also possibly put the parents into “middle management” perspective. So how important is the role of grandparents in raising their grandchildren? How can parents benefit from their parents’ parenting experiences and eschew the probable problems that come with them?

Grandparents reap experiences and lessons through the years of their lives. They continue to acquire considerable wisdom from all these and new parents’ problems may appear small through the eyes of grandparents as they have a ready solution for them. The thought that there are grandparents to turn to as certain problems arise especially when it comes to parenting is helpful and overly comforting. In addition, as part of the trend nowadays, parents are oftentimes busy with their own career. Again, it is a relief to know that grandparents are easily accessible to assist you should situations call for it.

On the other hand, problems usually arise when grandparents tend to forget or refuse to recognize that their task as your parents are somewhat finished, after raising you and setting you on the proper path. Now it is their time to sit back and relax and allow you to be on your own as the time has come for you to raise your own family. Of course, they still and will love you as always no matter what and you can be assured that they are just there behind you, supporting you all the way. However, it is important that grandparents know when to step in, to which, a good number of grandparents find it hard to accept.

Dealing with “interfering grandparents” does not have to be that difficult. In most cases, what is truly needed is just a diplomatic word for their ears to hear. Sometimes though, their urge to meddle in is just too strong, that regardless of how subtle you are, they cannot resist themselves from lending their helping hand and putting in their worth. As this happens, it is a good idea to take some moment to ponder and carefully gaze at the situation before getting too caught up.

Generally, grandparents merely want only the best welfare for their grandchildren. Although at some point, their advice is taken as interference, but if you take the time to pause and reflect on it, you will realize that grandparents’ advices do have considerable merit. Also, it is normal to permit annoyance over their “interference” in order for you to overpower your own sense of independence.

Grandparents have with them their own opinions, desires and views. These may not always collaborate with yours, but you still have to respect them no matter what the cost. When you find your children’s grandparents wanting to do something that you fancy them not to, instead of arguing about it, why not think it over and determine whether or not it will affect or do harm to something that you strongly feel about. If in the end you think that it will do no harm with regards to your ways of raising your children¸ then why get yourself too beat up with it?

On the event that grandparents’ actions cause problem or issue, find a solution. You can always compromise to something wherein everyone will be happy. For example, if grandmother and grandfather want to buy your very young son a bicycle for his birthday but you oppose the idea with the reason that your son is too young for such; instead of rejecting the whole idea, why not suggest something else that your son actually needs or wants at the moment such as an activity center that suits him better. Depositing this idea into their heads, leaving them with the decision to go for it or not is much better than declining their birthday present; at the same time, you avoid conflict all together.

Occasionally and inevitably, you stumble upon issues which may be or may not be easy to handle especially the kind that involves grandparents. Each time this happens, just do not forget that the most convenient solution is to look for a common ground. Remember that no matter how diverse your views and opinions are from your parents, both parties share one best interest, and that is the well-being of your children, their grandchildren. As long as you have this in mind, it is basically easy to come up with a resolution to most of your issues. And keep in mind as well that grandparents are huge help. They are important and having them behind is an exceptional comfort.

To read Single Father Parenting Works click continue reading below

]]>

Single Father Parenting Works

By AI Editor

Single Father Parenting Works

Single father parenting often face negative pre-conceptions such as the inability of a father to adequately care for his child or children. However, these stereotypes are being proven wrong by a strong number of single fathers that showed that they can successfully do the job of being a parent.

Single father parenting actually increased more than sixty percent in the last decade, partly because the courts favored giving custody to the parent who can best provide for the children’s overall needs, which is oftentimes, the father.

Research has showed that single father parenting is as effective as single mother parenting, which means that single dads are managing parenthood as well as single moms. One remarkable discovery about single father parenting is that fathers in this situation are more involved or closer with their children and displayed more positive parenting than fathers who are married or in two-parent families.

The obvious reason for this finding is that in single father parenting, the father plays the role of both mom and dad so they take on the traditional role of moms in most two-parent households where the mother is the one who interacts more with the child.

Studies have also long proven that childr

en from broken families are likely to display behavioral problems. While studies do not say that single father parenting eliminates such behaviors in children, they show that single fathers are often able to deal with them better.

Single father parenting right after divorce was managed generally well by single dads and experts say it may be partly due to economic factors. Generally speaking, more single fathers have better finances than single moms so without the strain of worrying about the bills, your child’s needs, and other financial concerns, single dads are able to focus on their children.

As most parents know, financial problems can negatively impact one’s behavior as a parent. The parenting behavior of parents who are burdened financially may be less favorable and this may translate to harsher but inconsistent child discipline.

Another fascinating aspect about single father parenting is that while single dads faced the same parenting challenges as single moms, their response to certain situations differ.
For instance, single dads are able to spend time or do things for themselves without guilt, which is not the case for most moms whether in single or two-parent families. Hence, single father parenting is generally less stressful because most single dads are able to take care of their children and themselves.

It's 4AM and guess what? I Can't Sleep

I hit the sack tonight at 12:30 PM. I was tired and fell asleep almost right away. But at 2AM after a potty trip I'm wide awake. Sleep has become a major problem for me. I have sleep apnea and use a C-Pap machine but still have problems sleeping! I follow most if not all of these tips and have tried Ambien ER to no avail. Now what? Every article I've read on the importance of sleep and getting enough of it indicates a major health risk. I had a talk with my pain management doctor, his recommendation; "Take your pain meds at a later hour!" Uh, sorry doc, that doesn't help. Now what? I see him again next week.

Can't Sleep? 15 Tips You Can Try

by Connie Saindon, MA, MFCC, CTS

In animal sleep, a sloth sleeps 20 hours a day while a porpoise sleeps half a brain at a time. Birds do not sleep and rabbits and squirrels sleep 10-14 hours a day. People need a wide variation of sleep and can range from 1-10 hours a day. There is more need for sleep at birth, while as we age our sleep needs are less and lighter.

Sleep problems are a common symptom for people who are recovering from traumatic events. One's usual methods for falling asleep may no longer work. Disturbing thoughts of reenactment, rescue or reunion may interfere with one's sleep cycle. Nightmares and sleep terrors occur in response to adjusting to shattered realties.

Practice "Good Sleep Hygiene". Here are some tips for you to try:

No reading or watching TV in bed. These are waking activities. If your insomnia is chronic, it is not a good thing to do, says Dr. Alex Clerk, head of Stanford Sleep Disorder Clinic in Palo Alto.
Go to bed when you're sleepy-tired, not when it's time to go to bed by habit.
Wind down during the second half of the evening before bedtime. 90 minutes before bed, don't get involved in any kind of anxiety provoking activities or thoughts.
Do some breathing exercises or try to relax major muscle groups, starting with the toes and ending with your forehead.
Your bed is for sleeping, if you can't sleep after 15-20 minutes, get up and do something relaxing.
Have your room cool rather than warm.
Don't count sheep, counting is stimulating.
Exercise in the afternoon or early evening, but no later than 3 hours before bedtime.
Don't over-eat, and eat 2-3 hours before bedtime.
Don't nap during the day.
If you awake in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep within 30 minutes, get up and do something else.
Have No coffee, alcohol or cigarettes two to three hours before bedtime.
If you have disturbing dreams or nightmares add an ending that you want.
Schedule a half-hour writing about your concerns and hopes in a journal every night to free up your sleep from processing your dilemmas as much.
Listen to calming music or a self-hypnosis tape for sleep.

If sleep problems persist, contact your physician or mental health professional. Let them know what is happening in your life. Your problem may have either organic or psychological contributors. Sleep disorders are classified as chronic if they persist more than one month. There are of two major categories of sleep disorders. They are Dyssomnias -- when there are problems with the amount, quality or timing of sleep and Parasomnias -- when there are abnormal events occurring during sleep stages.

Sleep difficulties can mean that their is an underlying problem that needs treatment. J. Christain Gillin, M.D. states that most patients that have a sleep disorder have an underlying psychiatric disorder. The different kind of sleep disorders include insomnia, hypersonmia-excessive daytime sleeping, Nightmare Disorder, Narcolepsy-irresistible attacks of sleep, Sleep-apnea and Sleepwalking. Let us know if these tips help you and also if you have one that works for you and is not listed here.

About the Author:

Connie Saindon, M.A., MFT has been a Licensed Marital and Family Therapist since 1979. In addition to providing services for Individuals, couples and families, Ms. Saindon is among the few specialists in the field of violent death bereavement. Founder the Survivors of Violent Death Program and volunteer faculty at the University of California Medical School Department of Psychiatry, she is author of The Journey, Violent Death Bereavement: Adult Survivors Workbook and contributing author of Violent Death: Resilience and Intervention beyond the Crisis. To reach her, please see this page.

Originally published 4/15/98
Revised 9/01/08 by Marlene M. Maheu, Ph.D.

Truth, I agree with!

WHEN I SAY, "I AM A CHRISTIAN"

When I say, "I am a Christian," I'm not shouting, "I've been saved!"
I'm whispering, "I get lost! That's why I chose this way"

When I say, "I am a Christian," I don't speak with human pride
I'm confessing that I stumble-needing God to be my guide

When I say, "I am a Christian," I'm not trying to be strong
I'm professing that I'm weak and pray for strength to carry on

When I say, "I am a Christian," I'm not bragging of success
I'm admitting that I've failed and cannot ever pay the debt

When I say, "I am a Christian," I don't think I know it all
I submit to my confusion asking humbly to be taught

When I say, "I am a Christian," I'm not claiming to be perfect
My flaws are far too visible but God believes I'm worth it

When I say, "I am a Christian," I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartache which is why I seek His name

When I say, "I am a Christian," I do not wish to judge
I have no authority--I only know I'm loved

Copyright 1988 Carol Wimmer