The man's side of it!

You might think by reading the title that this is about older folks who have to wear Depends or some other incontinence undergarment, but it's not.

Last night Linda had to work. The standing order, is that if her son Tomas wakes up in the middle of the night, the girls (who baby sit for Linda when she works) will bring him to Cassie or me to watch until she gets home, (so they get enough sleep for school the next day). Around 12:00 midnight, Heidi knocks on our door and says Tomas won't go back to sleep. So I volunteered to watch the boy because Cassie had to get up early for a doctor's appointment.

I drag myself out of bed and take Tomas into the living room, turn on the TV and we watch Leno. Tomas is happy as a clam. He has a bottle, TV, and me for company. I can't help but watch the clock change getting later and later, my patience towards Linda is at an all time low as the clock chimes at 2 AM. Then as if it was the clock's fault, Tomas starts to fuss. Oh No! I groan, this is all I need a fussy baby after two in the morning. I did what I could to try to calm him, checked the front of his diaper to see if he needed to be changed, made sure he had a bottle, cuddled him and talked to him, No dice! So I sat him on my tummy (it is a favorite spot of his) and he rocked himself back and forth singing his little frustrated song, Ahhhhh, ahhhh ahhhhh, over and over.

Then all of a sudden his little bladder explodes all over me. There is no way that little Huggies diaper was going to contain the flood that gushes forth from this kid's bottom. Now we get to the part about the old folks. I'm sure it is written somewhere (maybe in the Bible?) that Grandfathers are not supposed to have to change diapers! I'm sure I read that somewhere.

I raised two daughters, did my share of changing their diapers, feeding them, bathing them, comforting them in the wee hours of the night. I took an active part in raising them. They grew up and Michele, (The oldest) started to have children of her own. I exercised my Pop-pop's privilege of not having to change diapers any longer, so it was said, so let it be written! There were always willing bodies running around my house ready to change a baby at the drop of a hat. I continued to enjoy this privilege with three of my grandkids. Then Michele moved to Tennessee.

Linda's baby was born February 1st last year. Linda went through some troubles and came to live with us with Tomas, back in April last year. Up until last night there were always people (Linda, Cassie, Heidi and Kristin) in the house who could change him while I hid cowering somewhere during the process.

Maybe it is an obscure New Jersey law I read somewhere that states Pop-pops don't have to change diapers, I don't know but I'm sure there is one, there has to be!

Anyway, back to the story. After Tomas' accident (yeah right! He did it on purpose!) I set him on a towel on the couch, took off his clothes, and opened his diaper and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Now I know why he started to fuss! He took a dump alright, but somehow it squished out the back of his diaper and squirted all over his back! I didn't see it when I checked him earlier. Now I'm thinking of how I can wake everyone up in the house to bail me out of this mess, without leaving Tomas alone on the couch and still keeping my dignity. My mind reels through all the possible scenarios until I decide to just suck it up and be a man and change him my self.

Try to imagine applying a Huggies diaper to an octopus, or a monkey. That's what it's like trying to change Tomas. His little legs start to go every which-a-way, he twists his body from side to side, giggling and laughing at the poor misfortune of the person (in this case his Pop-pop) who is changing him. I finally get him clean and get a diaper on him, put the messy diapers and towelettes in the trash, wash my hands and then discover that he has no clean clothes to change into downstairs. So rather than climb the stairs and wake everyone I just leave him in his diaper. We played with his toys, watched a movie until his mom came home at three. He was wide awake the whole time. Rather than give Linda a hard time, I just limped back to bed and passed out.

When I talked to Linda this morning she said she gave Tomas a bottle put him down and he went out like a light. I guess he just wanted to make sure his mom got home safe and sound. Either that or he just likes making Pop-pop crazy!

Maybe it's written in the Code of Hammurabi somewhere.