The man's side of it!

When I was growing up my biological father never taught me the life lessons every boy should be taught if he is to be a successful man. Fortunately my mom remarried a man who showed me the love, discipline and all the other important lessons I would need to be a successful man. Except for one little detail...

Monday November 11th. I went to Our Lady of Lordes Medical Center to have bariatric surgery (Duodenal Switch). This is a decision I made about 6 months ago and actually had to remake everyday since then. I had to wait so long due to insurance issues not because I wasn't qualified. I had a BMI (Body Mass Index) of 54. I weighed in at 416 lbs. I have had 3 rotator cuff injuries and surgeries caused by work. I still have issues with my shoulders. Last year in September I became disabled and could no longer work.  I discovered that I had Spinal Stenosis as well as two burst discs in the L4 & L5 Region caused by stupidly trying to lift a RotoTiller into the back of my van by myself. The surgeons laughed at my request for surgery telling me that I was a bad risk for this type of surgery, but if I lost weight...

So that's what started me on this long frustrating journey. I first went to Dr Brolin of a Bariatric center in Princeton. They took all my info, found that I qualified and started the insurance approval. The problem with Brolin's practice was that he required $1800.00 up front. I just couldn't afford it so after starting a diet plan and going through all the motions I now had to go through the whole shebang once again. Although I did lose some weight 22 lbs. I went with my second choice The South Jersey Bariactrics group.  I am so glad I found Dr. Greenbaum. I had to wait for my Medicare to come into effect, but as soon as it did I was on a mission! and everything happened so fast.

I mentioned that I had to remake my decision for surgery every day. that was because my wife before we married in June 2002 had a friend, Ron who went through a very successful RNY Gastric Bypass and died of complications soon after. I knew my decision was going to cause Cassie a lot of stress because it was much more invasive. But I desperately needed this chance to improve my life condition and live a normal life hopefully with less pain (and hopefully go back to a career I loved as a Local 27 Sheet Metal Worker). Everyone thinks when a person endures terrific pain that they are strong. Not so. I just put on my show face and struggled as does everyone who suffers chronic and un-treatable pain. But I was in tears all the time, they just didn't show.

When I received the date of my surgery I had to start a "Shake Diet" Three shakes a day and all the water I could hold. That was tough. For whatever reason all my life I have had an insatiable appetite for food that was a constant "Monkey on my back." Everyone at the "Bariatrics Bunch" Treated me with respect and dignity which made a terrific impact on me. Almost every doctor I had, told me it was just a matter of "WILL POWER!" "MIND OVER STOMACH!" or worse yet, I was just "Weak." Not at the Bariactrics Bunch or the Lady of Lordes Hospital. They are all wonderful caring people and I love them all for their care of me there.

Dr. Greenbaum and the surgical staff who did the surgery and all the post op follow up but also the nursing staff and all the other people I met at the hospital there were great. There was this one older lady who was always so apologetic when she came to check my sugar, her name was Ester, she was so sweet. I didn't get a picture of her unfortunately. There were two other nurses who stood out above the rest, Danuta my night nurse for the first four nights, and Fred my day nurse for the last two days of my stay at the hospital.Danuta is a very sweet and kind woman whose style of nursing made me feel like a beloved sick child. She checked up on me all night long, never complained, always concerned with my care. I think I overheard Danuta asking for some help at the begining of her shift ( I didn't sleep well due to back pain that the pain meds didn't help) and the two she asked for help just ignored her and took off. Even after that which if I heard correctly she was still kind and her treatment of me was superb. I would have been very angry with those people and it would have showed for the rest of the night. Not Danuta, she just dug in and kept going. Fred and I had a chat about his children and his care of me was very professional, very much like caring for a child in need. It's extremely difficult for me to form emotional bonds with other men , but with Fred I found a kindred spirit. He is committed to doing his best, just as my step dad taught me. No matter what you do in life, whether it be a policeman, fireman, In Fred's case Nurse, or even a garbage man, Do your best. Fred is a great nurse. I remember all the bad connotations of men in nursing careers years ago, when it was considered strange for a man to do "womens work!" Not in Fred's case, He is a Manly man and proud of his aabilities

You can see Fred and Danuta's character in their photo's. Fred is a strong family man with children he just adores who wears the badge of nurse with pride, dignity and rightly so. And Danuta is sweet, a little shy when I asked to take her picture, she said she was tired and I just told her she looked great and caught her with a shy smile. I am so glad I was able to take their pictures and say thank you for tthewonderful care of me in my time of need. I want them to know I will be praying for them and their families every time I think of them. And if some how our paths cross again I will be twice blessed for it. The other person I came in contact with was TinaMarie TinaMarie had the bypass surgery a few years ago and when she told me that my eyes popped out. "Did you get the comestic surgery after you lost the weight." I asked. "No." she said "She just hides it well." I couldn't tell she was ever overweight she looks marvelous. Any we we talked every time she went on her rounds and she is an inspiration to me. I didn't get a picture of her either.

I hope that as you read this, if you need care at a medical facility such as Our Lady of Lourdes you meet up with Fred and Danuta, they are wonderful people great at their chosen professions (not an easy or nice job and that's the truth) and just the nicest people you will ever meet. I am not able to do very much to thank you Fred and Danuta except to hope they accept this praise as my thank you! ( Special note to Fred) I didn't get a chance to give Danuta the Address of my web log so if you will pass it along to her She can see it too.

Oh with all this rambling I almost forgot the title of this post, "Learning Life lessons in an unusual Way." The life lesson I learned was why men have to work. I'm 54 years old and have been working since I was fourteen years old. This is a new discovery for me so don't make fun of it. I always thought it was because of Adam and Eve biting the forbidden fruit checkin' each other's nakedness and hiding from God. Then the curse in Genesis 3:17-19 KJV "And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return. Hey that's what I was taught in Sunday School; WE bit and now we gotta work.

No the real reason Men have to work is:

Wait for it:

It's gonna grab you when you finally get it:

Now! The real reason Men have to work is because Daytime TV Sucks!

Gotcha!
Please forgive my emotional outburst!

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WELCOME HOME!!! :-) We are so thankful you are doing so well! We will keep praying for a great recovery and excellent results!

Glad to have another DSer in the fold.

Sip, sip, sip right now. Protein is not nearly as impt. as keeping hydrated.

And, please do yourself a favor...weigh in the surgeon's office the first few months. Don't weigh more or you'll see ups/downs/plateaus. It can get frustrating.