October 17, 2008
Great article on "Grandparants!" and Single Father Parenting
This article caught my eye as I was stumbling through the Internet this morning. My being a Pop-pop to 5 wonderful Grandkids and all. Some of the time my children actually listen to my or Cassie's advise, though rarely. But we keep on trying and giving because we love them. Tomas' dad is an exception. He listens carefully to Cassie and I when we talk about the boy and possible solutions to problems that crop up. He may not take all our advice, but he doesn't just dismiss it out of hand. He's a smart young man and I wish I had him for a son-in-law. The article on single father parenting aptly describes my grandson's father, Kennan.
Help, Wisdom and Experience Can Make Life Easier
Grandparents play an important role in the whole parenting issue and they can be highly helpful. But on the contrary, they can also possibly put the parents into “middle management” perspective. So how important is the role of grandparents in raising their grandchildren? How can parents benefit from their parents’ parenting experiences and eschew the probable problems that come with them?
Grandparents reap experiences and lessons through the years of their lives. They continue to acquire considerable wisdom from all these and new parents’ problems may appear small through the eyes of grandparents as they have a ready solution for them. The thought that there are grandparents to turn to as certain problems arise especially when it comes to parenting is helpful and overly comforting. In addition, as part of the trend nowadays, parents are oftentimes busy with their own career. Again, it is a relief to know that grandparents are easily accessible to assist you should situations call for it.
On the other hand, problems usually arise when grandparents tend to forget or refuse to recognize that their task as your parents are somewhat finished, after raising you and setting you on the proper path. Now it is their time to sit back and relax and allow you to be on your own as the time has come for you to raise your own family. Of course, they still and will love you as always no matter what and you can be assured that they are just there behind you, supporting you all the way. However, it is important that grandparents know when to step in, to which, a good number of grandparents find it hard to accept.
Dealing with “interfering grandparents” does not have to be that difficult. In most cases, what is truly needed is just a diplomatic word for their ears to hear. Sometimes though, their urge to meddle in is just too strong, that regardless of how subtle you are, they cannot resist themselves from lending their helping hand and putting in their worth. As this happens, it is a good idea to take some moment to ponder and carefully gaze at the situation before getting too caught up.
Generally, grandparents merely want only the best welfare for their grandchildren. Although at some point, their advice is taken as interference, but if you take the time to pause and reflect on it, you will realize that grandparents’ advices do have considerable merit. Also, it is normal to permit annoyance over their “interference” in order for you to overpower your own sense of independence.
Grandparents have with them their own opinions, desires and views. These may not always collaborate with yours, but you still have to respect them no matter what the cost. When you find your children’s grandparents wanting to do something that you fancy them not to, instead of arguing about it, why not think it over and determine whether or not it will affect or do harm to something that you strongly feel about. If in the end you think that it will do no harm with regards to your ways of raising your children¸ then why get yourself too beat up with it?
On the event that grandparents’ actions cause problem or issue, find a solution. You can always compromise to something wherein everyone will be happy. For example, if grandmother and grandfather want to buy your very young son a bicycle for his birthday but you oppose the idea with the reason that your son is too young for such; instead of rejecting the whole idea, why not suggest something else that your son actually needs or wants at the moment such as an activity center that suits him better. Depositing this idea into their heads, leaving them with the decision to go for it or not is much better than declining their birthday present; at the same time, you avoid conflict all together.
Occasionally and inevitably, you stumble upon issues which may be or may not be easy to handle especially the kind that involves grandparents. Each time this happens, just do not forget that the most convenient solution is to look for a common ground. Remember that no matter how diverse your views and opinions are from your parents, both parties share one best interest, and that is the well-being of your children, their grandchildren. As long as you have this in mind, it is basically easy to come up with a resolution to most of your issues. And keep in mind as well that grandparents are huge help. They are important and having them behind is an exceptional comfort.
Single Father Parenting Works
Single father parenting often face negative pre-conceptions such as the inability of a father to adequately care for his child or children. However, these stereotypes are being proven wrong by a strong number of single fathers that showed that they can successfully do the job of being a parent.
Single father parenting actually increased more than sixty percent in the last decade, partly because the courts favored giving custody to the parent who can best provide for the children’s overall needs, which is oftentimes, the father.
Research has showed that single father parenting is as effective as single mother parenting, which means that single dads are managing parenthood as well as single moms. One remarkable discovery about single father parenting is that fathers in this situation are more involved or closer with their children and displayed more positive parenting than fathers who are married or in two-parent families.
The obvious reason for this finding is that in single father parenting, the father plays the role of both mom and dad so they take on the traditional role of moms in most two-parent households where the mother is the one who interacts more with the child.
Studies have also long proven that childr
Single father parenting right after divorce was managed generally well by single dads and experts say it may be partly due to economic factors. Generally speaking, more single fathers have better finances than single moms so without the strain of worrying about the bills, your child’s needs, and other financial concerns, single dads are able to focus on their children.
As most parents know, financial problems can negatively impact one’s behavior as a parent. The parenting behavior of parents who are burdened financially may be less favorable and this may translate to harsher but inconsistent child discipline.
Another fascinating aspect about single father parenting is that while single dads faced the same parenting challenges as single moms, their response to certain situations differ.
For instance, single dads are able to spend time or do things for themselves without guilt, which is not the case for most moms whether in single or two-parent families. Hence, single father parenting is generally less stressful because most single dads are able to take care of their children and themselves.
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