The man's side of it!

Today in my email I received a link from a friend; "How To Communicate With Your Cat"
I enjoyed the article and had a lot of fun with it.
My comments are in bold italics.

 Scientists have discovered that cats have developed an elaborate communication system with hundreds of vocalizations to tell humans what they want.[1] They know that we are in charge, (Yeah Right!) so it makes sense for the cat to learn to communicate vocally, and to make sure that we understand what they are saying. Cats can also learn to understand what we want them to do by our repetition of words or actions in a consistent manner. (And in turn they will ignore US in a consistent manner)[2] In this way, we are able to communicate with cats in a dialog that takes time and effort to develop but is very rewarding for both.

THE STEPS:

Remember that vocalizing is generally not your cat's preferred mode of communication. A cat's "first language" consists of a complex system of scent, facial expression, complex body language, and touch whereas we humans communicate primarily through sound. Cats soon realize that we don't understand the non-verbal signals they send to each other, so they vocalize in an attempt to communicate in our language. By observing which sounds elicit which actions from us, a cat is always learning how to make requests (or demands).[3]

(These guys are non-vocally telling me to stay away from their chair, that if I try to sit there and read they'll scratch and bite me till I can't sit for a week!)

1. Listen to your cat. If you watch what your cat is doing when it meows, you may learn to distinguish which meows are associated with which requests (or protests) and eventually know the difference between a "let me out" demand and a "give me food" demand by sound alone.[4] Each cat is different and may have its own variations, but some common meows can include:

Short meow - standard greeting. (Get the heck outa my way puny human!)
Multiple meows - excited greeting. (Leave me alone I'm having my way with mom's stuffed animal)
Mid-pitch meow - plea for something. (Aieeeeeeee, HELP! Kristin's chasing me!)
Drawn-out mrrroooow - a demand for something. (Hey stupid why haven't you gotten out of bed yet to feed me. It's already 4:30 in the morning)
Low pitch MRRRooooowww - a complaint. (When are you going to clean my litterbox )
High-pitch RRRROWW! - anger or pain. (Okay stupid, you are taking way too much time getting the litterbox cleaned, now I'm gonna poop and pee on your bed and couch)
Chatter (rapid teeth-chattering jaw movements) - excitement, frustration (e.g. when prey is out of reach or escapes) (Open up that window now human so I can catch that bird!)
Chirrup (Also called "chirring", a cross between a meow and a purr with rising inflection) - friendly greeting sound, often used by a mother cat to call to her kittens. (Yeahhhhhh keep scratching right there, no lower, lower, now up under my shoulder, ahhhh that's right, now start over again at the top)
Purr - invites close contact or attention (Ahhhhhhhhh, That's right human, worship me!)

Amber                                       Kozmo                                 Mouse

We have another cat Indy who is very shy and refuses to come downstairs.
The article continues to give accuraterate descriptions of cat behavior and was very helpful even though I was making fun of the sounds and descriptions above.

Watch your cat. Since cats are more "fluent" in body language, certain gestures will accompany vocalizations to reinforce their message.

tail straight up - happy
tail twitching - excited or anxious
slowly blinking eyes - affection, equivalent of "blowing a kiss"
sustained eye contact is interpreted as being assertive or even aggressive and makes cats uncomfortable; slow blinking communicates trust[5]
wet nose "kiss" - an affectionate gesture when the cat taps its wet nose to you
ears back - alarmed
rubbing head, flank and tail against a person or animal - greeting ritual
head-butting - friendliness, affection
face sniffing - confirming identity
ears back and flattened - fearful and anxious
licks you - this is the ULTIMATE sign of affection. If your cat licks you, your cat considers you to be a part of his/her family, like a mother cleaning her kittens. If you push your cat away when he/she licks you, they will feel hurt and confused. Your kitty loves you!

There's way more interesting stuff in the original article so be sure to click the link and visit.

You can ping this entry by using http://www.twhgrafx.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt-tb.cgi/2233 .

I knew most of these. But the pushing away when they are licking/kissing me, no. I have a cat that wants to do that at the most inopportune times. I guess I can't lovingly push her away anymore.