The man's side of it!

I haven't posted any updates on the situation with my daughter Linda because I didn't think it would do any good. I still don't. There is nothing I can do to change Linda or her mind, so I let go and let God. These are the words my darling bride (three years we'll be married, on June 1st) keeps reminding me of when I worry and stress about stuff. The reason I'm posting now is just to vent.

I was busy early this morning running errands and then was doing some yard work (at least what I can) so I didn't really get a chance to chat with Cassie until after I was done. I came into the house just before lunch and walked into the bedroom. Cassie was sitting at her computer crying. What happened! I asked. (thinking the worst) Apparently My oldest daughter Michele had called from Tennessee and told Cassie that Tomas was staying with his father during the week while Linda was working.

Linda got thrown out of her friends house (she screwed up again) and is now living with her uncle in Helmetta. John and his wife Lynn both work so there is no one to help watch Tomas during the week.
Michele also was telling Cassie of the health problems they had, and asked if we could buy them a new car seat for Nickolas when they come to visit in June. It all reminded Cassie how much she missed Tomas and made her cry.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss my grandson Tomas. Every time I see a baby commercial or walk past one of his pictures I feel like crying. I think, does he remember us, does he miss us as much as we miss him. Cassie cries for him every day. The real sad thing is Cassie was the one who went to bat for Linda insisting that I give her another chance (Linda has had many chances from me as well as other family members and friends) I had hoped Linda would straighten out this time but suspected it was just another instance of Linda wanting to run away from the situation she was in without facing the problems head on and solving them.

Linda has always gotten bailed out of trouble all her life. Her mother let her get away with everything in spite of what I said and she never learns anything from her experiences. Except that when she gets in trouble all she has to do is run away and someone else will fix it or pay for it. As long as it's not her.

Tomas lived with us for a year and we fell head over heels in love with him. It hurts me not to see Tomas, (I'm a guy and seem to be able to harden my heart and protect myself) but it hurts Cassie so much more. Cassie would bring Tomas into our bedroom and let him pick up things. Then she would explain what it was and Tomas would then put it back down and pick up another object. This would go on and on. He really is a smart boy. I hope he gets the kind of attention he needs to develop his intelligence like Cassie gave him.

I remember one of the first Bible verses I memorized was Galatians 6:7 (KJV) Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. The secular world says it like this: What goes around comes around. Linda if your intention was to break our hearts you have succeeded beyond your expectations. I hope you can live with that. . But be prepared to have your heart broken one day.

Years ago My first wife Audrey had a brother, Bobby, who married a girl. His wife Mary and her parents didn't like our side of the family very much, I'm not sure why she married him, maybe just to get away from her parents. They lived with Audrey's parents, Bobby was shiftless and didn't seem to want to work for a living.

Bobby was hit and killed by a car while walking home from a party with his wife. There were rumors that maybe she pushed him into the cars path but that's just rumor. Mary got pregnant just before Bobby died, she had the baby and Audrey's mom Jessie helped take care of him. His name was Steven (I don't know what it is now) Jessie loved him as if he was her own son. I don't remember if they lived with Jessie for a year or not, but one day Mary just up and left with Steven. She gave him to her parents who adopted him and then moved out of state and we never saw or heard from him again.

We don't know if he is dead or alive, happy or in need. Jessie and Audrey hired a detective to try to find him to get visitation rights but they couldn't. Even if they had, the courts said grandparents have no rights at all, much like it is today. I remember how it broke Jessie's and Audrey's hearts to lose a grandson and nephew. I see and feel how it has broken Cassie's and my hearts to lose Tomas. We haven't seen or held him since Linda left.

I have heard through the family grapevine that Linda is telling everyone that everything that has happened to her is my fault. If they want to believe that, that's fine with me. I know the truth and so do the people I care about. She has burned enough bridges with friends and family so that the truth will eventually come out. If Linda feels she is punishing me by keeping Tomas from us she's wrong. She's just punishing Tomas. He's the one missing out on all the love we have to share with him.

I hope all this makes sense, I've just been banging away at the keyboard in frustration at my daughter. I hope something happens to straighten her out. It scares me the things that could happen to her that would accomplish that.