The man's side of it!

In our house there are many different worlds. There is the Land of Ted and Cassie, adults, parents, husband and wife, where we put each other and the children before ourselves. We work hard to provide for our family and each other. We try to set a good example for the kids on how to live and survive in this troubled world.

Then there's Linda land, Linda is passive aggressive, lazy and unmotivated. There's Billy land, very similar to Linda land. Billy is an absentminded genius who is also passive aggressive. He will convienently forget what you tell him five minutes later. There's Kristin land, Kristin is the mediator for everyone. She'll go out of her way to try to set things straight between people, always giving hugs when she thinks they are needed. Last but not least there's Heidi land. Sigh... Where do I begin...

I woke up this morning just before Billy and Heidi left to catch the bus for school. I stumbled into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee and grabbed a cup from the dishwasher and heard and felt a crunch underfoot. I looked down and there were Cheerios on the floor as well as on the counter top. I call out to the family and ask, "Who had cheerios this morning for breakfast." Heidi answers back that she did. So naturally I tell her to please sweep up her mess. After some gruff comments she comes into the kitchen and says that she picked up most of them, what is the problem? "Well you need to pick up all of them," I said. She yells at me saying, " I did the best I could!" I looked down at the floor and said, "it looked like it hadn't been swept at all!" (big mistake)

Whereupon Heidi proceeded to scream and shout at me then cried to Cassie saying "I was unfair!" Cassie told her she should have swept the floor properly. Heidi then screams, "You always stick up for HIM!" "You always take HIS side!" I'm in the kitchen shaking my head trying to remain calm as this exchange is going on.

We want the kids to take responsibility for their actions and to learn good work ethics. Cassie and I try to teach them to do a job well and in a reasonable amount of time. One day they will be in the job world working to support themselves and their families.The more they learn now the better it will go for them.

Heidi runs out to the living room and plants her butt on the couch, refusing to finish the job, I tell her to leave and go outside and wait for the bus. (she has to wait five minutes) Then I go into the kitchen and sweep the floor myself thinking, Wait till she gets home!

Heidi land is the land of denial. It's never her fault or responsibility it's always Linda's, or Billy's or Kristin's. She is as lazy as any kid could be. She is combative, loud, (I don't remember ever having a quit dinner unless of course she wasn't there). She's always tired, in pain, sick, (she suffers from severe allergies, but can never remember to take her meds) She doesn't like to do things for herself, She is always asking Kristin or Billy to get this or do that. But when they ask for a favor from her Her voice level goes up about 100 decibels and she calls them lazy and all kinds of names until they just give up and do it themselves.

It's every father's hope and prayer that his children will grow up, find a good mate, some one who will love them and care for them, be healthy, happy and prosperous, and all I can think of when she goes off like this is: "I picked a bad time to give up my Wellbutrin!"
I love my kids, all of them, sometimes though I wish I could take a long vacation from them. Well at least I get a small vacation when they're in school. Hopefully I'll go back to work next week or the week after and I'll get an even longer one.

ROFL!!!! That's all I have to say. Well not really I have allot to say... Heidi is allot like me. Maybe you'll get lucky and she'll go far away to college. Just think Kristin isn't 13 yet. You still have a couple more weeks till she turns that dreaded age. I hope that She doesn't do that to you too. That would mean that you have to go through it 4 times over. Although Linda was nothing like me. I am now called the good child!!! LOL... I do know how you feel though because David and I struggle with our own children.
Love ya and keep your chin up. They are bound to get out someday! David told our kids that when they turn 18 they are getting a special gift. $50.00 and a suitcase and get out! Of course he was joking, but now I think it might be a good idea.

Having two passive agressive children can be a nightmare,however,are you sure that you are not mistaking lack of motivation,for an attempt at your attention?Sometimes the need for "A JOB WELL DONE!!" is a way to a young person's way of handleing things.Thus being a bit of a home remedy.Just might be worth a shot!!